AN: So in the past years my Christmas story has been in the Criminal Minds fandom. This year, I'm writing it for this fandom. While listening to the song "The Christmas Shoes" I got this idea for a Loki centered story (yeah, I wouldn't try to figure out my muse if I were you) so I've decided to pursue it. I can't promise the story will be done by Christmas, but there will be several more updates before then, I promise.
Disclaimer: As the story is set post Thor: Ragnarok, spoilers for the movie may pop up, so consider yourself warned. The characters for the movie belong to Marvel not myself, only the original characters for this story are mine.
Thor didn't like it. Though he knew his brother had a solitary nature, and going off to be by himself was nothing new, he couldn't help but think worse case scenarios given Heimdall's reports that some of the surviving Asgardians were uneasy regarding Loki's presence among their ranks. The fact that there had been several attempts against Loki's life since they had escaped the destruction of Asgard only fed into his fears.
If something had happened to his brother, Thor vowed that whoever was responsible would pay with their lives.
As he came face to face with one wall of the room, Thor turned on the heel of his boot and started walking back the way he had came. He hated waiting and doing nothing. If Heimdall didn't return soon with some kind of news, Thor planned to disregard the former Bifrost guardian's advice that he stay put and let the guards conduct the search and start looking for Loki himself.
The chime of the door broke through the King of Asgard's thoughts. Stopping the pacing that was getting him nowhere fast, Thor turned toward the door as he called out "come."
The metal door opened and in strode Heimdall, two other Asgardian warriors visible as they stood watch outside Thor's quarters.
"Did you find him?" Thor asked, before the doors had closed behind Heimdall.
"No, My Lord," Heimdall replied, the regret clear in his voice. Though he may personally feel they were better off without Loki around, the former Bifrost guardian ached for his liege's sense of loss. For that reason alone, Heimdall wished he didn't have to bring the news that he had to Thor's attention. Alas, trying to conceal it would accomplish nothing. "We did however, discover that the Commodore is no longer in the launch bay and we found this," he added, holding out the piece of folded paper that was left at the control station of the launch bay.
With a sinking feeling, Thor reached out and took the paper from Heimdall. He had a feeling he already knew what message the paper held as he took in the one word on the outside of the folded paper. The way his name had been written, Thor had known doubt that the left missive was from Loki.
"Leave me," Thor ordered, having no desire for an audience right then.
"Yes, My Lord," Heimdall replied, With only a perfunctory bow, he backed out of the room, leaving Thor alone.
Looking down at his name on the pale paper, Thor absently found the room's couch and sat down. The last thing he wanted to do was to unfold the paper and read Loki's good-bye. He had thought he had gotten his little brother back again. Thought that this time, his brother would stay at his side where he belonged.
Once again, Loki had felt compelled to go his own way, with only a piece of paper to explain his actions.
Slowly, Thor opened the piece of paper, his eyes having trouble focusing on the neat and stylized handwriting of his brother.
Brother,
I have no doubt that by now you have your guards searching the ship for me. They will not find me as I plan on taking the Commodore and setting out on my own. This is not an action I take on a whim, but one which I have been contemplating since we set out on a journey for Earth. As you have admitted yourself, taking me back to Earth is not a good idea. My presence will only cause trouble for our people and the survivors of Asgard have suffered enough, some of it my own doing. I didn't help save them to bring more hardship down upon them.
I ask that you do not continue to look for me. Go on to Earth as you planned. Lead our people in establishing a new home, one that both father and mother would be proud to have left as their legacy. You are the leader that they need now, and our people need their leader to not be burdened with personal quests. Rest assure, I will be okay on my own. I have my own journey to take, one which I hope will allow me to become a brother that you truly can be proud of, Perhaps the next time our paths cross, you will truly be able to trust me.
I do not plan to lose track of you or our people, Brother, and if you should ever truly need my assistance, believe me I will know. If the need should arise, and it is in my power to do so, I will be at your side once more.
Till our paths cross again,
Loki Odinson
The signature brought a smile to Thor's face. Since finding out his true heritage, Loki had claimed and disavowed allegiance to the royal family of Asgard as the situation suited him. Thor couldn't really blame him, given the way he had found out the truth. More than once, he had wondered if things had turned out differently if Odin had been truthful about Loki's parentage at an earlier time. Finding out the way Loki had must have been a terrible shock, even more so than the shock he had received upon finding out he wasn't actually Odin's first born and that he had an older sister.
~I wonder what other secrets Odin took to Valhalla with him, ~ Odin mused as he continued to look down at the farewell from his brother.
If Odin did or did not, Thor knew that he would probably never find out. Any clues to those secrets had probably been destroyed in the fiery destruction of Asgard. Given the power of the last two secrets that had gotten out Thor wondered if that wasn't for the best.
With a sigh, Thor cast the note to the side. He had thought he and Loki had been doing well at patching their relationship. As of late, he had felt closer to his brother now than he had in a long time. He had thought Loki was finding a place among their people once more.
Apparently, Loki thought differently. Though perhaps that shouldn't be a surprise to him. Loki had often looked at things differently than most people.
As much as he wanted to go after Loki, and talk some reason into him, Thor knew that wouldn't be in anybody's best interest. His first responsibility was to the survivors of Asgard. He needed to find them a new home and get them settled. Besides, his brother wouldn't be easy to find unless he wanted to be found, which from the words he had written was clearly not the case. Loki clearly felt that he had some soul searching he must do on his own, and Thor hoped that his brother would finally find the peace that he was searching for.
"Safe journeys, Brother. May you find the answers that you seek and return home to us when you do," Thor said softly, knowing that for now his prayers were the only way in which he could help keep Loki safe.
Getting to his feet, Thor crossed to the door. As it opened, he was not surprised to find Heimdall patiently waiting against the wall across from the corridor.
"You can call off the search Heimdall," Thor instructed, knowing that there was no need to call the guard into the room to give his orders in private. Loki's absence among them would be noticed soon enough on its own anyway. "Loki has chosen to strike out on his own, and I have elected to honor his wishes that we not try to find him."
"Of course, My Lord," Heimdall replied, with a touch of regret in his voice. Thor knew that the guardian's feelings of regret were not personal but were from empathy for himself. There had never been any love lost between Loki and Heimdall.
With the orders given, Thor stepped back into his quarters and let the door close behind him. It was only within these walls that he had any privacy these days and right now, privacy was what he needed the most.
177A Bleecker Street.
Loki looked up at the house with mixed feelings. He knew he wouldn't be welcomed here. He was probably the last being the inhabitants of this planet wanted to see. However, the Asgardian Prince knew that if he didn't come here, then the occupant of this place would come seeking him out if he remained on Earth and remaining on Earth was exactly what he planed on doing.
No, it probably wasn't the wisest choice he could've made. Steering clear of the planet was probably in his best interests. However, there was no way he could make atonement for his past actions if he took that course. Doing just that was important to him, though he hadn't exactly been able to put into words, even to himself, exactly why that was. Yet, that was exactly the journey that he felt he must partake on, and it was one that circumstances dictated must start here.
With an air of confidence that he didn't really feel, The God of Mischief started up the walkway to the front door. Reaching the door, he reached out and pressed the button, unsure of what would happen next.
It didn't take long for the door to be opened by the same man who had sent the two brothers to where their father was right before Odin's death. As expected, the man didn't seem at all happy to see Loki standing on his doorstep.
"Dr. Stephen Strange, I presume," Loki ventured, breaking the silence that remained between the two men as they sized one another up.
"You presume correctly," Strange replied, in a cool aloof tone. "I knew you were on Earth but I've got to admit, I didn't expect to find you on my doorstep."
"I thought I'd save you the trouble of creating a doorway for me this time," Loki replied. Remembering the article he had picked up specifically for this occasion, he reached into his pocket and withdrew a white handkerchief. "I come in peace, I believe is the correct local term for this occasion," the God of Mischief said, waving the piece of fabric in front of him.
Dr. Strange hid his amusement as the gesture as he replied, "It's an old custom but it'll at least get you an invitation through the front door instead of a portal," the former surgeon said, stepping aside to allow Loki entrance into the New York Sanctum.
"I thank-you for your hospitality," Loki replied, stepping through the front door of 177A Bleecker Street.
The Asgardian Prince had only taken a couple of steps when he heard the door shut behind him with a bang. He hoped his guest didn't notice the slight jump at the sound, even as he looked around the entryway of the place.
"Nice place you have here," Loki offered as he turned back to face his host.
Dr. Stephen Strange stood right in front of the closed door, arms crossed in front of him, staring down his guest.
~Not the picture of a welcoming host at all, ~ Loki thought, wisely keeping the comment to himself.
"Let's just forego the pleasantries and get down to business," Strange replied. "Why are you back on Earth? Did falling for a half hour during your last visit not get through to you how little you are wanted here?"
"Not the most hospitable welcome, to be sure, but not totally unwarranted."
"Yet you're back."
"Yes, I'm back. I'm back because I have a desire to make up for past . . ." Loki paused as he thought of the best word to use in this situation. Crimes sounded a bit too harsh to his ears, while he was sure mistakes would sound much too trivial to Strange's ears. ". . . atrocities. Seems to me that New York City is as good a place to start as any."
Loki wasn't sure what reaction he expected from Strange, but the one he got was definitely not at all what he expected. The former neuro surgeon actually laughed at Loki's proclamation, and needed several moments to compose himself.
"I'm sorry that was rude of me," Strange replied when he had finally stopped laughing. "However, given your failed attempt of conquering this world, I'm sure you can understand my skepticism. Though, I guess the first question I would like answered is what could have possibly brought about this radical change?"
"Ragnarok," Loki replied, his gaze holding Strange's as he spoke. "I watched, no that's not quite right, I helped bring about the destruction of my own world to save those who had survived the Goddess of Death's brief reign of Asgard. It was the only way to stop her and protect the other nine realms."
"So you're telling me Asgard has been destroyed?" Strange asked, not sure if he believed what the trickster was saying but not sure it was safe to completely disregard the tale as false either.
"Asgard is nothing more than space debris at this point," Loki replied, a slight catch to his voice.
Dr. Strange didn't miss the uncharacteristic emotion in the alien being's voice. That alone led a bit of credulence to his words.
"Thor is the new king of Asgard. He and the survivors of Asgard are on a ship bound for Earth, as my brother hopes to find a place that our people will be welcomed and settle here on Earth. Though my brother hoped I would remain at his side, I feared that my presence among them would only cause trouble among your people. They have been through enough and I wanted to spare them at least that."
"And yet, here you are, on my doorstep," Strange commented, trying to bury the part of him that wanted to take Loki at his word. He knew the story would have to be corroborated, the easiest way of being able to do that being finding a way to get in touch with Thor. Until then, he planned on taking anything Loki said with a lot of skepticism.
"I don't wish to remain in exile from my people, even a self-exile, indefinitely. However, I need to prove that I've really changed my ways before I'll truly be accepted, even there. That's what I hope to accomplish here on Earth, if you'll let. However, if you order me to leave this planet and not come back, I will of course abide by your demands."
Dr. Strange left his post by the door and started pacing as he contemplated Loki's words. Thor had done quite a bit for the people of Earth in the past and Strange had felt a connection to Odin in the former Asgardian King's brief time on the planet. He didn't want to risk offending the new Asgardian King by turning his brother away without given him a chance, especially when Loki had been up-front about his arrival on the planet.
Stopping in front of Loki, Strange once again met the God of Mischief eye to eye. "I'm willing to give you a chance to prove that what you said here today is the truth but rest assured you will be closely watched. You put so much as a toe out of line and you will be falling through time and space for an eternity, I promise you."
"I understand," Loki replied, not at all relishing the thought. The half-hour had seemed like an eternity itself.
"I also intend to make contact with Thor and verify the information you have given me."
"A wise course of action," Loki admitted, not at all offended by not being completely trusted. He knew he had a long way to go before he'd gain anyone's confidence. "I only ask that you not tell him you spoke to me or where I am."
"Are you hiding from him?"
"In a way, yes. If my brother knew where I was at, he would come and try to convince me that my place is with our people, when right now it is not. When I go back, I want it to be on my own terms."
Dr. Strange nodded. "Very well. No, mention of you will be made when I make contact with Thor," the sorcerer promised. Stepping aside, he made a sweeping gesture toward the door. "You're free to leave but remember, we'll have eyes on you."
Loki nodded before stepping forward to let himself out the door. As he walked away from 177A Bleecker Street, he was relieved to be putting the place behind him even though he had no clue as to what his next steps would be.