Barret looked out the window of the house that he, Cloud, Tifa, Marlene, Yuffie and Vincent were sharing, which was, much to their disgust, was next to the holiday home of the Turks.
He turned away and glanced at the table that Cloud was sitting on, talking to Tifa.
'I'm just goin' outside fer a minute. Goin' for a…walk,' he said, not all that convincingly.
'First time for everything,' Cloud muttered under his breath. 'He'll be buyin' a treadmill next.'
Barret headed over to Reno, who had stepped outside to have a sneaky cigarette, having learnt after having a rather sensitive part of his anatomy roughly grabbed and rotated by Elena the previous week for enjoying a quick smoke.
Having heard heavy footsteps, Reno craned around to see who was approaching, and relaxed when he saw that it was Barret.
'Jeez, thought you were Elena, comin' to give my balls another squeeze,' he said.
'Well, I can if you want.'
'Uh…maybe later?'
The atmosphere between them suddenly turned awkward. Reno stood there gazing into space with his hands in his pockets, cigarette hanging from out of his mouth, and Barret scratching the back of his head.
'So…' Reno started.
'So…' parroted Barret. 'Fancy some buttsecks?'
Reno blinked.
Marlene came out of her room, stretching and rubbing her eyes. She yawned.
'Have a nice nap?' Tifa asked, swooping down upon the small girl.
'Mmm,' she mumbled back. She looked around at the others, and saw one prominent figure missing. 'Where's Papa?'
'I saw him skulking upstairs,' interjected Cloud, still sat on the edge of the table, feet resting on the seat of a chair. 'I guess he's gone to his room.'
Marlene headed over to the steps, and climbed up then, and after a few minutes stopped outside Barret's door, which was ajar. She pushed it further open, when she heard a voice.
'Damn it Reno, use the butt plug first! It hurts if you don't!'
She stuck her head around the door, and saw Barret and Reno, both naked and on the bed, in a somewhat compromising position. She ducked back, and closed the door silently, and scurried back downstairs before she was noticed. She charged into the room where the others were, yelling at the top of her voice.
'Auntie Tifa! Uncle Cloud! I saw Daddy and Uncle Reno! He had his pee-pee up Daddy's bum!'
The room, which had been filled with gentle chattering suddenly fell deathly silent at the sound of the child's words.
Tifa appeared horror struck; Vincent as emotionless as always, Yuffie turned a delicate shade of green, and Cloud started howling with laughter. Tifa elbowed him sharply in the side.
'Can I ask a question?' Marlene queried, looking at Cloud, who was still giggling and wiping his eyes.
'Go on,' he replied.
'What's a butt plug?'
The blonde's mirth kicked in again, until he had tears rolling down his face, and was clutching at his sides in hysteria.
'Oh my gawd, I really am gonna chuck now!' Yuffie exclaimed, one hand over her mouth, and running for the nearest toilet. Or bucket.
The next day, when Barret finally emerged from his room, he noticed that he was getting identical looks of a sort of shocked curiosity as he sat down.
'What?' he asked. 'What're you all lookin' at me like that for?'
'Have fun with your butt plug?' Cloud shot.