Part 1

"I'm reeeally sexy you know," Craig looked at his step brother and nodded his head, as he chucked back his 10th pint," I am… really, sexy Craigy."

Darren kept a straight face, "yeah, course you are mate." He couldn't hold the chuckle anymore, "sooo sexy."

Craig carried on nodding even though it was making him feel slightly sick, "I could pull anyone in here… anyone, cos… cos, I'm luverley… got eyelashes yer know. Always… always get 'em with me eyelashes," Craig batted them at Darren to prove his point.

"Absolutely gawgess Craig," Darren grinned.

"I think maybe you've had a little to much to drink," Elliot decided it needed to be said.

"Nah, nah Elli, fine me, hold me drink, man me," he grinned, chucking his arm around an awkward looking Elliot.

"Well that may well be the case, but I can see your equilibrium is being abused, I suggest you make that your last," Elliot nodded, moving Craig's arm off his shoulder.

"You're… you're just jealous, cos you ain't got eyelashes and couldn't pull everyone. See… see her over there, could have her," Craig boasted a little disturbingly, "or… or her... weird red hair, her... over there, yeah her, have her."

Darren looked at where he was pointing.

"Her, in the red dress?" Darren asked.

"Yeah, yeah her, betcha I could pull her," Craig nodded.

"Ok then, 20 quid says you can't," Darren grinned.

"Deal," Craig nodded and tried to shake one of the many hands of Darren he was seeing. They got there in the end when Darren decided he was the one who had to grab Craig's hand or they would've been there all year.

Craig stumbled his way over to the girl in the red dress. It took him a little longer than expected as someone kept wobbling the floor all over the place, or so Craig thought.

"Hello darlin'," Craig declared as he reached the girl, "fancy a dance?"

As he asked, the world suddenly went very black as he landed head first in her lap.

Craig woke up wondering where the bloody hell he was. It was cold, especially on his bum. He opened his eyes slowly to see the girl looking down at him.

"What?" He asked as that was all he was able to think.

"You fainted, brought you outside," the girl replied with the gruffest voice and the bluest eyes.

"I did… oh," Craig wasn't quite sure what to say. "So, we gonna dance then," he pulled his sexy yet cute grin.

"Nah, don't think so mate," the girl replied.

"We gonna go back to yours… for a little naughties," he chuckled.

"Yeah, that would be interesting, come on then," the girl put her arm under Craig and lifting him from the cold ground, propped him up.

"Yeah?" Craig was a little surprised. Even pissed he was shocked he had actually pulled.

Going along the street, the girl struggled to keep Craig upright. She finally got him to the students campus where she lived, as he attempted little kisses on her cheek and neck, which she kept trying to avoid. Bundling him through the front door and then the room of her bedroom, he fell on the bed and discovering it was lovely and comfy, fell asleep.

"Yeah, that's about right," she mumbled as she pulled off his trainers, coat and trousers. "Sleep well mate," she smiled, as she undressed and crashed out next to him.

Craig's head hurt. He knew if he opened both eyes it would really hurt. One eye open was ok, but he didn't know where the fuck he was so guessed he really needed to prise open the other one to get his bearings. Bracing himself, he slowly let his other eyeball meet the world.

"Oh fuck," he mumbled, the effect of daylight making him want to hide under the quilt, away from all the brightness. He started to have empathy with the vampires of old, the ones who didn't wear sunglasses and go out in the sun.

"You awake then?" A voice asked him as he peeped from under the quilt, seeing a blond haired, blue eyed bloke looking at him.

"Er… er yeah, who are you?" Craig asked looking slightly alarmed, he did wonder if he'd been kidnapped, but the kidnappers were nice and gave him a bed.

"John Paul, you came back with me last night for naughties," he grinned.

"What?" Craig shot up in bed, "we… we…" he felt all the blood run from his cheeks and not just from the sudden movement. He'd never had naughties with a bloke, he didn't know how that happened. He tried to remember, all that came back was blue eyes, red dress and a cold bum.

"You came up to me, asked me if I wanted to dance, then said to come back here for naughties," John Paul replied casually, zipping up his hoody.

"So… so did we… yer know?" He concentrated on his bum, decided that didn't hurt so wondered if he'd done the plunging. He then reminded himself he didn't plunge boys, but go him for being so liberated when drunk. He then reminded himself again, he didn't plunge boys, so it really wasn't a thing to be go him'ing himself about.

John Paul sat on the edge of the bed.

"So does that make you feel a little excited that we may have?" John Paul pulled a sexy face.

"Well," Craig quite blatantly felt his plonker to check, "feels a little hard." He then realised what he said and blushed.

John Paul started to laugh, "really? Well that's good to know."

Craig sat there for a moment, trying to suss what was going on. It then struck him.

"But… but you was a girl… I mean, you had on a red dress and had long red hair. You had on fish net tights," it then hit him, "are you a tranny?" Well Craig knew he never won points on subtlety.

John Paul started to laugh again, "no I'm not a tranny. It was my sisters engagement party, a vicars and tarts do. All the blokes had to dress as tarts and the girls, vicars. That's why I was wearing the stuff you mentioned. Bloody uncomfortable it was and drafty," John Paul was perched on the side of the bed as heremembered how he'd tried to warm up his bits.

"Right, so er… why am I here then? Are you gay? Didn't you worry I might, yer know freak, when I realised you were a bloke?" Craig questioned, well it needed to be asked.

"I guessed you'd crash out when we got back here and I couldn't leave you on the bloody street could I? Didn't know who you were with or where you lived, so thought best to bring you here. Even if you did freak, knew I could handle it, after all you were so gone, don't think you'd dent a pillow if you hit it," John Paul grinned. "and yes, I am gay, but that weren't why I brought you back here. I was the perfect gentleman," he nodded, standing up and heading for the door. "Making a cuppa now, if yer want one," he declared as he left the room.

Craig wandered out in to the front room in his boxers and t shirt and asked where the loo was. Once he got himself sorted, he sat at the table and thanked John Paul for the tea.

"My head hurts," he declared, because it did.

"You were well pissed mate. The fact you thought I was girl, I mean really, showed how pissed you were," John Paul chuckled.

"Yeah, well, guess dress, stockings, red hair, blue eyes was all I was focusing on. By the way you should wear stockings more often, your pegs looked gawwgesss in them," Craig winked and chuckled.

John Paul tried to stop the blush, he knew Craig was taking the piss but still. It wasn't right for a sexy as fuck, bed haired, good looking, boxer shorted bloke to say things like that to him. After all, he was but human. He quickly picked up the newspaper to hide his redness and prayed Craig would just sit quietly and drink his tea.