I do not own any rights to Stargate Atlantis, or its characters, no matter how much I wish I did.
This is my first FanFic. It's kind of a Memoir to Weir, and how she affected John and Rodney's lives. My conclusion to Mortal Coil. I hope you like it!
A Time To Cope
John gazed out across the ocean, from the balcony by the gate room, and hopelessly looked up into the stars. He had never felt so tired in his life, but he knew he couldn't sleep. Sickness spread through his limbs, but it wasn't a physical one. Why did she have to go? I should have been able to save her, he silently berated himself. I shouldn't have taken her with us to the Replicator World. This is all my fault. He had pretty much been thinking this to himself ever since the Replicator mad Weir had told him that the real Elizabeth Weir, his Elizabeth Weir, had been killed seven months ago. John felt so angry with himself, even though his rational side knew that he couldn't have prevented her death. If she hadn't help them get the ZPM every one in Atlantis, including her, would have died. All these facts still didn't help him face what had happened. Pain flooded every part of him, at the image of her face in his head, her voice in his ears. Why did this happen, he told himself desperately. I loved her, I still love her, she's a friend and family. Or is she more than that? He forced that last thought away, knowing it would only intensify his pain even more. It was to lake to explore that feeling now. Somewhere deep inside, John believed that Elizabeth would return, that the next incoming wormhole would be her. I don't think I'll ever give up on Elizabeth. I can't. That was the simple truth. John would never give up on Elizabeth, nor would anyone else on Atlantis who she had been close enough with to consider a friend…
Rodney had been working for hours straight, in his lab. Everyone else had left to get some rest, but he stayed working on nothing, he was to distraught to concentrate. If he stopped though he would be forced to think about the weight of what had happened in full. This is Carson all over again! I can't handle losing any one else, so close to me. If I had just gone fishing with Carson, he would have never died. If I had decided to turn back on the planet that had the crystals when John wanted to, Heightmier would have never died. And if I had JUST KEPT MY MOUTH SHUT when I saw the Replicator base code control center, Elizabeth wouldn't have died. Everyone's death is my fault. Rodney wanted to scream with frustration at everything that had happened. He was supposed to be a genius, but if he was so smart why couldn't he save the people he loved. They're always the ones saving me. He reasoned with himself though, but I have saved the city on several occasions, and I tried my best to save them. His mind morosely countered, what if my best isn't enough.
If Elizabeth would have been there, she would have comforted John and Rodney that they had both done all they could to save her. She would undermine even their best counter arguments, and in the end they would have felt that she was right. If Elizabeth had been there she would have told the two that instead of mourning for her and worrying if they had done everything they could, they should start worrying about the threat the Replicator's still posed. Then, she would remind them that she was always at their side, in spirit, and that they would always have her guarding them. Finally perhaps, to John, she would say that she wished they had more time together too, to see if there was anything between them. Maybe Elizabeth was their, trying to tell them all of this, but John and Rodney were to deaf to hear. Or maybe Elizabeth was still out there somewhere, and the Replicator had lied. Maybe she was still alive under the Replicators grip, waiting for John and Rodney to someday find and save her. Just maybe hope wasn't gone, not yet.
Elizabeth was out there, somewhere...
I hope you liked it! Please leave reviews with any critisism or comments. Thanks for reading!