The Smiles We Leave Behind, a naruto fanfic

The Smiles We Leave Behind

A Naruto Fanfic

Okay, so this one is certainly different from what I normally write (or post, rather). Aside from the fact that the story itself had come to mean a lot to me, writing this was strangely easy and incredibly hard at the same time. I finished it in a little over eight hours and I've been going over it ever since (which was in last summer), reading and re-reading and wondering if it was possible to understand and grasp the scenes I had in mind when I did the writing. I finally showed it to a friend this weekend and she said it was alright. So, here it is.

The only thing I think may need explaining is the timeline I use: I am so not going to acknowledge what's happening - or has been happening for a while now - in the manga right now, so I'm kind of fabricating my own timeline. Therefore, you will recognize some of the events while I completely changed or omitted others. I'm not going into details about the whole "How can event B happen, when event A never occured?" argument, but in my head, it does work out quite well. ;D

Also, Orochimaru rules as a villain. Madara, on the other hand, is a bad joke that I refuse to laugh about. Suck it up, bitches. That would be all.

Naruto knew that the moment he entered the Village to find Kiba waiting for him by the gate, eyes agonized and watery, would stay burned into his memory for as long as he lived. It was one of the moments that would accompany him, haunt him, remind him – never leave that place right behind his forehead. He would remember the tears on his friend's face, the shaking quality of his voice, the way he had to stop and restart his sentence three times until he actually managed to finish it, pulling the floor from underneath Naruto's feet with a force that left him dizzy, lightheaded with shock and a pain so intense that it drowned out all other thought.

There was no way he could forget, and if the world suddenly turned upside down and all laws of physic were suspended, that one fact would still remain, cemented into his mind and his world and the very core of his being. He would never forget.

The worst thing about it all was that the last words Sakura had said to him before he'd left had been, "No matter what – just come back alive and everything will eventually turn out right. You will make it alright."

Sakura was bleeding heavily. Her entire left side was soaking wet with blood, dark crimson trickling down her leg to leave a painfully obvious trail on the forest floor. Her hands – one pressing a piece of cloth that had used to be part of her skirt at one point against the wound in her shoulder, the other fisting to fabric of Naruto's jacket hard enough for her fingers turn white – were trembling as he half-dragged her forward, supporting as much of her weight as he could.

"I told you to leave me," she gasped, slightly slurred, and he had to bite the insides of his cheeks to keep from snapping at her. She was barely even conscious.

"Shut up, just shut the fuck up, okay?" he hissed, red hot anger rising at the back of his throat like acid. His right leg was a bloody mess since he'd run into that explosive tag and every step was pure agony, but he wouldn't – would not – leave her behind. "Concentrate on walking, goddammit!"

It was only another hour, two at the most, but hopefully even less, until they reached the camp, where Shikamaru's team would be waiting with medical support. They just had to make it there...

"How's your shoulder doing?" Naruto asked by way of greeting, and Sakura very nearly dropped the pot she'd been scrubbing. She turned to glare at him with slightly flushed cheeks.

"Don't scare me like that!" she hissed threateningly, pointing a finger at him in warning. "And use the damn door, for god's sake!"

Naruto laughed easily and hopped down from the windowsill, placing the plastic bag he'd brought along on her kitchen table.

"I thought you might be hungry," he said with a wicked little grin, eyes pointedly focused on the pot she been working on, "since Tsunade-baachan mentioned something about a total ban on using that arm. I think she had that look in her eyes, now that I think about it. You know, the one that says she'll rip you to shreds and pieces if you're stupid enough not to listen to her."

"She's just being overprotective," Sakura muttered defensively, putting the pot back in the sink nevertheless, her right hand coming up to massage her left shoulder in a gesture that was just as much unconscious as it was treacherous. "I know what I'm doing. My shoulder's okay."

"Uh-huh."

"Stop mothering me. I'm a medic, Naruto," she told him sharply, two weeks of being stuck in her apartment making her short-tempered and snappy.

"You're also my teammate," he grinned broadly, turning back to the food he'd brought. "Let me have my fun once in a while. It's not like you'd not be mothering me for weeks on end if I came back like that..."

"It's different when I do it..." Sakura pouted sulkily.

"Wow, hi there!" Naruto called in delighted mock-surprise as Sakura entered the Hokage's office in full gear. "So nice you could make it—" She punched him in the face, her lips twitching into a barely-there grin.

"Brats..." Tsunade sighed dejectedly, rolling her eyes. Kakashi smiled knowingly. "Can we go on now?"

"Nooo, Lee's not here yet!" Naruto remarked from the floor, grinning up at them goofily, making a conscious – and not so successful – effort to ignore Sakura's foot tickling his sides.

"Kakashi, correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't I mention you'd be meeting Lee at the Gate?" the blond Hokage turned to the gray-haired man in front of her desk, a sullen frown on her face.

"Twice, I think," he nodded, his one visible eye arching into a smile.

"Thank you," she said simply before her eyes shifted back to Naruto, her suffering look morphing into a glare. "Now get the fuck up and let me explain your mission!"

Naruto scrambled to his feet with a laugh.

"Naruto, we're friends, right?" Sakura asked somberly, her firm gaze making him squirm.

"Of course we are, but—"

"And as a friend, you would never lie to me."

"Sakura, I couldn't lie to you if I wanted, but—"

"Good," she said with a tiny smile, obviously satisfied with his answers. "Then be honest with me." Her eyes grew a little harder as he opened his mouth to interrupt her and he audibly clacked his teeth shut again. "Does pink even suit me?"

"In my opinion, you look fucking amazing in everything, Sakura," he told her desperately, looking back and forth between her and the three summer dresses she'd spread out on her bed. "Why can't you just choose one when you look great in all of them?"

Her face was unreadable as she watched him for a few long seconds. When she finally sighed, Naruto realized that he'd stopped breathing.

"I guess you were right when you said you were the wrong guy for this..." she admitted. "I'll go ask Ino."

"She's here? I thought she was on a mission! Why didn't you ask her from the beginning?" he demanded incredulously, unable to believe that she'd put him through the hell of going shopping with her when Ino was available.

"Because Ino's my rival in this, Naruto," she explained patiently, sounding like a parent that explained something to an exceptionally stupid child. "I know that she'll look amazing tonight, so I'll just have to look even better. I can't just go ask her for help when I'm trying to beat her."

"...I don't get you girls. It's just a night out with the rest of the guys. We've all known each other for years. Why dress up so much?"

And suddenly, Sakura's cheeks took a light rosy color and she looked at him like she'd been caught with her hand in the cookie jar, and Naruto knew that she was Not Telling The Truth when she shrugged and mumbled, "Oh, just for fun I guess..."

Naruto opened his door to her erratic knocking to find himself with an armful of his pink-haired teammate no second later. She was panting like she'd been running for hours, her face flushed and her hands trembling as they clutched the fabric of his t-shirt, and he was too stunned to react for a second.

"I did it, Naruto," she then breathed, sounding almost feverish.

"What?" he asked intelligently, staring down at her in confusion.

"I did it. I mean, he did– he..." She blinked, her cheeks turning scarlet and suddenly, she was hiding her face against his chest, either crying or laughing manically, he couldn't tell.

"You did what? Wait, fuck. What did de do? And who is he?" he placed his hands on her shoulder, pushing her away with gentle force, his mind working at the speed of light to come up with an explanation. "Did you kill someone? What happened, Sakura?"

"Kill him?" she exclaimed, bursting into almost-hysterical laughter. "No, no! Fuck, I said yes!" She laughed again, overwhelmed with joy. "He– Lee asked me to go out with him, and I said yes, because— Fuck, because I love him. God help me, but I love him!"

And then, she started to cry, only that it wasn't really crying but rather having small sobbing fits thrown in between her laughing fits, and Naruto gaped at her incredulously. Then, it clicked.

"You're going out with Lee!" he almost yelped, his voice spiking as his brain tried to get used to the idea.

"Hell yeah, I'm going out with Lee," Sakura laughed, tears streaming down her face, and Naruto hugged her with a shout, feeling a surge of euphoria wash over him.

He'd never believed he would ever reach the point where he could truly be so completely and utterly happy for her from the bottom of his heart when the one she'd chosen was not he himself. But as he held her, both of them moving back and forth between tears and helplessly stupid smiles, he realized that there was no ounce of regret in him.

He realized that he was in fact not in love with her anymore.

"Things don't look so good, Naruto," Shikamaru said quietly, a cigaret dangling loosely from his fingers as he stared off into the distance. "The Rain's gathering troops at the border. Orochimaru's influence goes much further than we had feared and if we can't find a way to stop them..."

"You mean..." Naruto trailed off, leaving it to the raven's genius to figure out what he meant. Not that it was that hard anyways...

"We'll be going to war." His lips pulled downwards ever so slightly and his eyes distant, Shikamaru looked older, wiser. The knowing pain on his face did not sit right with someone of his age. "And very soon, from the looks of it."

Naruto couldn't help the sudden cold that spread through his body, the sudden tightness in his chest making it difficult to breath normally. He swallowed heavily.

"Did you... Did–"

"I didn't hear anything," the raven said almost apologetically, finally turning to look Naruto in the face. "I'm sorry, but there's no trace of Sasuke whatsoever. All we've got are a few vague rumors and if we chose to believe what they say, we'll have to up his rank in the Bingo Book." Naruto winced visibly, quickly averting his eyes. "I'm sorry."

"I'll go talk to Tsunade," he forced out, feeling like Shikamaru's knowing gaze was scalding him. "If this turns into a war, I need to be there."

"Good morning, sunshine!" Sakura startled him out of his happy dreams, jumping into his bed and whacking him with his own pillow before he even had the chance to fully wake up – there had been ramen and ice cream and something that had looked like a giant frog involved, no blood and fighting and dying people.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!" he shouted, managing to grab a hold of her weapon eventually, but she just abandoned it in favor of poking him in the side rather vigorously. "What the hell is wrong with you!"

"We did it!" she sing-songed, sounding ridiculously happy all over again. "Lee and I, we finally did it!"

He shook his slightly head to get the last of the sleep-induced dizziness out of his head and clear his mind, his thoughts still processing way too slowly to keep up with his teammate.

"Did what?" he asked suspiciously, the voice of reason in his head telling him too late that it was a dangerous question. Sakura's smile turned dreamy and she rolled over and snuggled up to him, giggling girlishly.

"We slept with each other..." she sighed, poking him.

'...slept with each other...' The words echoed in his skull for all of three seconds before he sat bolt upright, staring down at her in pure horror.

"Sakura!" he squeaked, some part of him wondering when he'd become such a prude until anther part suggested that it might have something to do with the fact that this was Sakura and Lee. "What the hell! I have a mission with the guy tomorrow! How do you expect me to act when...! Ugh..." He buried his face in his hands, shuddering.

"Easy," Sakura laughed, sounding a touch too smug for Naruto's taste. "Just don't visualize the detai—"

"Nooo, shut up!"

"You need to get some sleep," Kiba insisted intently, his hands tightening on Naruto's shoulders as if to emphasize his point. "Your body's at its limits, for fuck's sake. If you go on like this, you'll..." He cut himself off, the look in his eyes haunted and sick with worry.

"I'm alright, Kiba," he breathed back, dimly wondering why he was even trying to lie when the truth was so painfully obvious. He hadn't slept in days.

"No," the other whispered back. "No, you're not. You're everything but alright." His fingers were digging into Naruto's skin, even through his jacket. "I know you too well to believe the same shit you give everyone else."

"Kiba, please, can't you just—"

"No, Naruto, I cannot just leave you alone!" the brunet exploded desperately. "I'm not going to stand aside and watch you slowly kill yourself. Do you think I can't see what you're doing?" There were tears in his eyes and Naruto knew that they were both nearing their breaking point. "This is war, Naruto. And war kills people. Nothing you do will change that part of reality. But this, this- this has nothing to do with war..."

"I can't take this," he finally whispered helplessly, suddenly feeling like he had to hold on to something to stay on his feet. "I can't take this anymore. I don't care what happens to me, but I don't want anyone else to die, I don't want anyone else to get hurt..." He took a shaky breath, eyes overflowing.

He couldn't bear to fall asleep next to his friends, knowing that this night might be their last, that he might never see them again – he couldn't bear to think about Tenten and the dread in her eyes as she'd seen the man swing his katana at her and realized that she was not going to make it, he couldn't think about the pain that she must have felt in her last few seconds without something inside him breaking.

This was not what they'd dreamt of, what they had wanted to become. Dying for your village, to protect your friends – what value did that hold in those last hopeless, pain-filled moments? This was not how it was supposed to be.

"I can't take this," he repeated, clinging to Kiba like a child, except that he did not feel secure when the other wrapped his trembling arms around his shoulders and patted his back awkwardly.

"You'll have to, Naruto... God, you have to... You can't just leave me like that, okay? Just promise we'll get through this together... I beg you."

"I don't care what Tsunade said!" Naruto screamed into his radio, the Kyuubi's rage clawing at his mind and eroding away the last of his reason. "I'm gonna do this, with or without you!"

"Naruto, don't! You can't take him on like that, you'll never make it!" Shikamaru yelled back desperately. "He's going to crush you and then he's going to crush us all! I need you to cover our retreat, please!"

"I'm not going to run away forever. If I can take him out, we can push them back! We both now we wouldn't survive your damn retreat—"

"You will die!" Each word was forced and laced with pain, each syllable punctuated by a dull thudding sound, like someone was slamming his fist into a tree. "Orochimaru will rip you to pieces!"

"Oh, he won't," Naruto smiled grimly, tearing the radio's collar from his throat. "I promised."

"Neji's team just returned from their recon mission," Shikamaru reported dutifully, both Tsunade and Naruto looking at him expectantly. "They found another four of their hideouts, three of which will no longer pose any thread now. Neji's exact words were 'will no longer taint this ugly world with their ugly existence'." He crooked a bitterly satisfied half-smile. "He wiped them out completely."

Naruto felt a pang of pain in his chest when he thought about how much just one damn war could change people.

"Thank you," Tsunade said tiredly – sadly – and the raven bowed, that faraway look in his eyes, and left without another word. "I'll have to do something about that Hyuuga kid," she stated absently, staring into nowhere for an instant. "Who knows who he'll turn to when he runs out of Oto nins..."

"He'll get a hold of himself eventually," Naruto said, almost wishing he could convince himself if he just said it firmly enough.

"Maybe," Tsunade admitted. "Maybe not." Then, she fell silent, lost in her own thoughts.

"Mission complete," he announced cheerfully as he barged into Tsunade's office without bothering to knock, his smile freezing on his lips when the blond woman's eyes snapped to his face in startled disbelieve.

Mitokado Homura and Utatane Koharu were both glaring at him in obvious disdain.

"I, uh..." He stared at the blond Hokage helplessly, her answering look cold with annoyance. The meeting had been an important one, it seemed. "I'm terribly sorry for interrupting. I was not aware..." Naruto trailed off, realizing a little too late that his way of wording it was unfortunate in the least.

"Of course you were not aware," Koharu told him icily, hardened steel in her voice.

"Your insolence knows no borders, apparently," Homura added, not bothering to hide his vehement dislike of Naruto in the least.

"Get out, Naruto," Tsunade grit out through clenched teeth, her glare promising pain and bloodshed as soon as she got her hands on him. He contemplated fleeing Konoha for a few weeks, wondering whether Gaara would take him in for a while if he asked nicely enough. "I will send for you when I have time for your report."

He smiled weakly and disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

"He's somewhere out there," Naruto stated quietly, gazing up at the star-dotted night sky above his head.

"Yes, he's out there," Sakura confirmed gently, her hand coming to rest on his arm in a gesture of warmth and love and I'm-here-for-you. "But we might not be able to change that, Naruto..."

"But the moment I start to think like that, it's over!" he shouted at her in a sudden surge of frustration. "Why can't you see that, for fuck's sake! I've been hunting him ever since he left – he's my motivation, he's the one thing driving me forward when everything else fails. If I give up on him now, if I even just allow myself to consider the possibility, then what do I have left, Sakura? What will I be?" His voice was intent, cutting, but the look in his eyes spoke volumes of the pain in his chest.

"Don't say that..." she pleaded, stricken. "I know he's important, but you have friend here as well..."

"...I know..." He ran a hand through his hair, turning his back to her to stop himself from taking all that years old anger out on her. "It's just that... He's Sasuke, you know? He's..." He trailed off, searching for words. "Sometimes, it's like he's the very center of my entire world," he admitted almost inaudibly.

"I know what you mean," she smiled sadly, rubbing at her eyes.

"Team Seven all over again..." Naruto laughed helplessly, shaking his head.

"And we'll get through this together. As a team. And who knows, maybe Sasuke is waiting for you just as much as you are waiting for him." She pinched him in the arm lightly, taking his hand in hers. "Just don't try to leave me and Kakashi behind again. We're also part of this family, right?"

"I'll do what I can," he promised with a smile, poking her back playfully. It was times like this when he was just so damn glad that they were in this together.

Sakura was waiting by his front door, her combat gloves pulled on.

"I thought you'd never come," she hissed dangerously, clenching her fists. She was seething with anger, her eyes narrowed. Looking back on all the years they'd spent with each other, he couldn't remember a time when she had looked that furious.

"Tsunade took a little longer than expected," he said quietly, gesturing at the black-eye adorning his face.

"She was done with you two hours ago, don't treat me like an idiot, Naruto," she warned icily, pushing away from the wall with the elegance of a lioness.

"Maybe I'm just not in the mood to let myself get beaten up by you, too," he threw at her, frustrated.

"Frankly, I don't care for your mood right now!" she exploded, crossing the distance between them with a few forceful strides, slamming her fist into his face without another warning. This time, she wasn't pulling her punches. His head was spinning when blinked his eyes open again, finding himself sliding down the hallway wall.

"What do you want, Sakura," he breathed weakly, feeling lost. "What the fuck do you all want!"

"Don't ask me what I want, you asshole!" she screamed him in the face, grabbing him by the collar and pulling him towards her. "Why did you leave him there? How could you do that to me?"

"He was alright when I left!" he yelled back, his hands closing around her wrists to stop her from choking him. "We were done with our mission and everything seemed safe!"

"You were supposed to return together, Naruto!" And then, something inside her broke, her rage vanishing into thin air as tears welled up in her eyes. "Lee got hurt because of your stupid stubbornness, goddammit... Can you even imagine what I went through those past days? I thought I was going to lose him! I thought he would die because of you..." She sobbed, stumbling back until she hit the opposite wall, sliding down to the floor. "Because of you and your stupid obsession..."

"Don't say that when you don't mean it, Sakura..." he begged quietly, covering his face with both hands as if not looking at her would make it all better.

"Don't tell me what to think!" she cried, slamming her fist into the wall. "He's not going to come back, that's what I think! He's gone, okay? You're hunting a ghost! I'm not even sure he's our Sasuke anymore... If he were, why won't he come back now that Orochimaru's dead, huh? How comes he's still avoiding you and—"

"Get out," he hissed through clenched teeth, unable to take it anymore. "Get the fuck out of my sight!"

"Sometimes we just can't save the people we love most..." she whispered, agonized, as she shakily stood and turned to leave. "You can't continue like this forever."

When she was gone, Naruto cried for the first time in months, his emotions overflowing as he thought about what might have happened if Lee had died out there. If he had died because Naruto had send him home alone, taking a detour to hunt after rumors.

"Gods..." he breathed, silently praying that he would one day be able to just let it go.

Tsunade's expression was one of barely restrained pain when she told him, the dark circles under her red, swollen eyes making it obvious that she had neither slept nor stopped crying the night before. That fact alone made it hard not to believe her, even though every part of his soul screamed that she was lying. That she had to be lying.

Behind him, Sakura gasped audibly and he could vividly imagine tears forming in her usually so bright eyes, but somehow, he couldn't bring himself to turn and confirm his suspicion.

"What?" he asked weakly, his own voice sounding strange to his ears – so faint and trembling.

"I said," Tsunade forced out, her eyes watering as something inside her gave way under the pressure. "Jiraiya's dead. He went to gather information concerning Akatsuki and somehow..."

But Naruto had stopped listening, feeling like his entire world had just been shattered to pieces.

"I'm sorry, but I can't do this," Naruto stated firmly, placing the scroll back on Tsunade's desk with an expression of ironlike determination.

The old woman stared at him in pure disbelieve for all of three seconds before she started to yell at him, even going as far as to throw things at his head in her fury. Naruto swallowed around the lump in his throat and waited for her to cool down, dodging and catching the few breakable projectiles that came his way.

"Three years!" Tsunade screamed at him, pointing her finger at him threateningly when she ran out of ammunition. "Three fucking years you've been bugging me about this and now you think you can just not do it!" She was breathing hard, her eyes ablaze with rage, as she finally sat back down slowly. "Get out of here," she ordered hotly. "Get the fuck out of my sight before I bash your skull in, you arrogant little fucker!"

"Don't I even get a chance to explain myself?" he demanded a little hurt, running a hand through his hair in frustration.

"I'm done listening to you for this life!"

"Fine, don't listen!" He glared back at her, pissed off by her ignorance more than anything else. "You plan on sending me out there with an eight-man squad. What the hell? How many of them do you think will return? What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Don't use that tone with me," she hissed sharply, dangerously and he knew that this was one of the rare times when he had really struck a nerve. But the sudden cold calm in her eyes was proof that she'd at least gotten his point.

"I'm sorry," he apologized honestly, admitting to himself that his words might have been too harsh.

"What do you want me to do then," she asked just as coldly, crossing her arms in front of her chest. "Send you three out there alone? Don't make me laugh. None of you would return."

"I know that––"

"Then what do you want, Naruto?" she exploded, throwing her hands up in exasperation.

"...I want to go after him on my own," he admitted very quietly, only knowing that she'd caught it from the way her eyes narrowed.

"I can't believe you're doing this," Sakura whispered in disbelieve, her eyes watering dangerously fast. "I can't believe you..."

"I'm sorry," he whispered back simply, throwing an apologizing glance at Kakashi as he turned to leave. The gray-haired man's stare was cold, hard, but underlying the mute rejection of Naruto's decision was the resignation that came with understanding his reasons.

"What happened to us being a team?" Sakura screamed after him, going from shocked to furious in the blink of an eye.

"I'm doing this to protect you," he told her before he could stop himself, regretting it almost immediately when she gasped, a look of utter hurt and betrayal crossing her face.

"You think I'm that weak?" she asked incredulously, ignoring Kakashi's quiet warning as she strode after Naruto, slapping him across the face. It was the fact that he was not even worthy of her punches anymore that made him flinch back in almost-physical pain. "Have fun out there," she spat spitefully before she turned on her heels and left, breaking into a run as the first choked sobs started to wreck her frame.

"Good luck, I guess," Kakashi said very quietly, patting his shoulder.

Naruto waited until his teacher was gone, too, before he reached for his mask, freezing mid-air when he caught a glance of his reflection on the water beneath the small bridge. The thought that occurred to him was almost surreal, a grim smile tugging at his lips as he shook his head. He didn't stay to hear the splashing sound of his fox-shaped ANBU mask hitting the water, nor did he wait to watch it drown.

Sasuke would recognize him the moment he saw him, so to hell with it all.

Naruto jerked out of his unconsciousness with a pained gasp, his thoughts jumbled and his memory fragmented. His entire body hurt like hell, the pain hitting him with almost enough force to black him out again.

"Look at me," Tsunade ordered intently and he jumped, looking around wide-eyed until the world came into focus. The blond Hokage was looming over him, one hand around his neck and keeping him down. Her eyes were sharp and alert and it felt like they were looking right down into his soul. "You recognize me, brat?"

"Baa-chan," he gasped out, blinking rapidly when his vision started to blacken around the edges.

"Stay with me, you hear me?" she told him, her voice sounding faint to his ears, like it was coming from incredibly far away, and he frowned, finding it hard to understand the words he heard.

"Don't fall asleep now, you hear me? This is important, Naruto," she almost-yelled at him, slapping him across the face. "Stay awake just a little longer!"

But his eyes were already drifting shut, no matter how hard he tried, and he just felt so damn tired. When Sakura slammed into the room, her voice high-pitched and hysterical, it took him half an eternity to process her words.

"Sasuke just flat-lined!"

"Good morning," Kakashi greeted him cheerfully, a kunai and a half-peeled apple in his hands, as Naruto slowly opened his eyes,

"'kashi," he slurred, dizzy.

"So your brain's still intact," the other observed and Naruto frowned, sitting up slowly. "There was a chance we'd lost that part of you on the way back. Not that it would have made much of a difference," he added as an afterthought. "Apple?"

Naruto blinked at the piece of fruit Kakashi offered him on the tip of his kunai , trying to clear the fog in his head, before he slowly extended his hand and took it.

"It's edible, you know," the Copy Nin informed him dryly and he vaguely wondered why his voice sounded just a little sharper than usually. He still took Kakashi's advice, noting with a grimace that that was probably the most disgusting apple he'd ever had. He send Kakashi an accusatory glance. "Oh, Sakura put something in it, but I didn't stop to ask what it was... I guess you'll find out though."

"What the hell?" he whined, swallowing with difficulty.

"I kind of feel better now," Kakashi smiled, impaling the apple on his kunai and placing both on the small night stand beside Naruto's hospital bed. "Consider my need for revenge fulfilled."

"Revenge for what?" Naruto demanded hotly, his head clearing considerably, and then it hit him. "Oh," he breathed weakly as the memories returned, in bits and pieces, like a flood of pictures, but complete. "Oh fuck..."

Then, whatever Sakura had done to that apple took effect and he barely managed to make it to the bathroom before he started dry heaving. She had to be in an awfully bad mood...

"I need to see him!" he gasped as he barged into the Hokage's office, not surprised that he found Tsunade already waiting for him, Kakashi standing in front of her desk with his visible eye arched into a smile.

"You need to sit down and shut up," the blond woman told him icily, looking at the chair next to Kakashi pointedly.

"You don't understand, I—"

"Sit the fuck down!" Tsunade hollered at him, her chair hitting the wall behind her as she propelled herself out of it furiously, rage radiating from every pore of her body. Naruto shut his mouth with an audible clack of teeth and obeyed, mostly out of habit. "Do you even know what you put all of us through?" she screamed at him, slamming her fists down on the table. "Don't come in here making demands – you should be fucking groveling on the ground right now, you arrogant, insolent imbecile!"

"I'm sorry I—"

"You would have died, Naruto," Tsunade hissed venomously, her voice turning quiet as her eyes narrowed. "You were almost dead by the time Sakura reached you. Both of you were." She sat down slowly, folding her hands on her desk. "If she hadn't gone after you – and if Kakashi hadn't gone after her – where would you be right now? Your sorry ass would be rotting out there in the middle of nowhere, that's where you would be!"

"And what can I do to apologize?" he threw back, feeling helpless and frustrated, the knowledge that she was right almost smothering him. "I can't change the fact that it happened, what the fuck do you want—"

"I want you to fucking be aware of what you owe her this time," the blond Hokage whispered, almost inaudibly, but she might as well have screamed again. Her voice was like a hot knife. "And I want you to realize what you mean to the people you apparently can't bring yourself to care about."

His reunion with Sakura was wordless and the most heartwarming thing that had ever happened between them, probably because their relationship had been just a few words short of ruined before he'd left. The things that had been said didn't matter as she slowly stood from her chair by Sasuke's bed, looking like she hadn't left his side in days.

Her steps were measured as she crossed the distance between them and put her arms around his neck, threading her fingers through the short hair at the back of his head. Taking a few deep breaths, she hid her face against his chest and tightened her embrace, her whole presence seeming too weak, too faint. He hugged her back with all the gentleness he could muster, trying to convey without words that he was sorry, that he loved her, that she was a part of his life that he wouldn't be able to live without.

When she exhaled against his neck shakily and fainted, the sheer insanity of what she'd put herself through to make sure that none of them died catching up with her, he caught her and gently lowered her to the floor. Shifting so that he could get a hand under her knees, he lifted her light form without any troubles, pausing only to take a deep breath when his eyes flickered to the bed he'd originally come to visit.

Then, he turned and left, carefully carrying Sakura down the hall to where Tsunade was waiting, a look of utter resignation on her face.

"Sometimes, you two are just too much for me," she admitted softly, pushing off the wall and coming over to brush a few stray strands of pink hair our of Sakura's pale face. Naruto smiled tiredly, forcibly keeping his thoughts focused on the here and now. Sasuke would have to wait. After all that Sakura had done, he felt like he owed her at least that much.

"How is he?" Naruto asked nervously, fidgeting, his eyes flickering back and forth between his pink-haired teammate, his almost-grandmother and the high-security prison cell they'd just emerged from.

"He's recovering," Sakura answered evasively and his expression clouded considerably.

"What the hell's that supposed to mean?"

"That we're doing our best, brat," Tsunade told him with a stern look. "You fucked him up pretty badly–" Naruto couldn't help but flinch, the look in his eyes turning haunted for the briefest moment. "–and there's only so much we can do. He's not happy about his eyes, but he won't let me check on them either."

"I'm also worried about his shoulder..." Sakura admitted hesitantly, brushing her hair our of her face. "Naturally, chakra burns take a lot longer to heal than normal burns, but I'm starting to wonder if his are healing at all..." The way she glanced at her master made it almost seem like a question. Naruto frowned. "But more than his body, it's his mind that concerns me... He's... you know how he is..."

"Stubborn? Arrogant? Sasuke-ish?"

She smiled faintly. "Yeah, that..." She sighed, turning to look at the heavy, chakra-sealed iron door that separated them from their black-haired friend-turned-something-else with a far-away look in her eyes. "It's like he's not sure whether he even wants to live..."

It must have been at least five minutes when Naruto finally managed to muster enough mental strength to detach himself from his pillow and react to the stubborn knocking at his front door.

"What?" he spat before the door was even half open and Iruka silently raised an eyebrow, like he was telling him to remember his manners or something. "Sorry..." he mumbled grouchily, rubbing the back of his head as he stepped aside to allow the older man in.

"I just wanted to know if you're okay, Naruto," his former teacher informed him gently, patting his head in passing. The blond merely snorted sarcastically and slammed his front door shut with unnecessary force. "Be a little more considerate of your neighbors," Iruka chided mildly.

At that, Naruto had to bite his tongue, but he managed to keep his mouth shut.

"I heard what happened with Sasuke," Iruka said empathetically after a short silence. "I figured you might want to talk about it with someone...?"

Naruto couldn't help the bitter taste rising in his throat, his lips curling into a grimace of almost-hatred.

"I'm so fucking sick of this," he said, his anger turning into cold frustration as he spoke. "What right do they have to judge us? They agreed to make Tsunade the Godaime Hokage, yet they interfere with her decisions almost as soon as she makes them..."

"Sasuke doesn't seem to like them either, I was told."

"Hell yeah," Naruto snorted, feeling inappropriately gleeful about the fact that Sasuke had managed to drive Utatane Koharu into a fit of rage within less than half an hour. "Sakura said the old hag looked like she was about to have a stroke or something..."

"Unfortunately, I suppose that does not make things easier for you," Iruka said with a small smile of his own, pointedly ignoring Naruto's choice of words.

"But it makes me feel better," Naruto sighed, his expression turning bitter again. "They want us dead. Both of us. Or him dead and me locked away for the rest of my life." He crossed his arms in front of his chest, hatefully glaring into nowhere. "And it seems like they're not even bothering to hide it anymore..."

"Tsunade won't let them kill Sasuke," the brunet stated confidently, ruffling Naruto's hair like he used to when the blond was younger and Naruto felt the negativity and the gloomy thoughts drain out of him at the affectionate gesture.

"...thanks, Iruka," he mumbled, meaning it.

"Something tells me I won't like what I'm about to hear," Naruto sighed dejectedly, rubbing at his eyes as he plopped down on the other side of the table Tsunade occupied. The very fact that this conversation was going to take place in Tsunade's favorite pub and not in her office was proof enough that things were going to get ugly.

"Sit down and shut up – and, most importantly, listen to me," the blond woman began after knocking back another cup of sake, sounding somewhat grim. Naruto had a notion that she'd already made her decision, and that his personal opinion wouldn't matter all that much anyways.

"Is this about Sasuke?" he asked warily.

"No," she replied quietly after a few seconds of thoughtful silence. Then, she sighed and leaned back, staring up at the ceiling. "I want you out of Konoha for a while."

She could have slapped him in the face, super-human strength and all, and it wouldn't have made much of a difference.

"What?" he breathed, almost too shocked for words, only vaguely noticing how pitiful he sounded.

"Don't get me wrong, it's for your own good," Tsunade answered gently, looking back at him, the soft warmth of love in her eyes contradicting her words from before. "I thought about this for a long time and I think I know what I want Konoha's future to look like..." she continued, her voice soft and affectionate. "I think this is the right thing to do." She smiled. "You haven't given up on becoming Hokage, have you?"

And for the second time that evening, Naruto felt his world shift beneath him as the full weight of what she was implying sunk in.

"What!"

"I'm planning to make it official within the next year."

"Oh my... Oh holy fuck..." Naruto stared at her, the words evading him.

"But right now," Tsunade went on in a more serious tone, her expression turning grave, "you're faced with an enemy that you simply cannot beat and that I fear I can't protect you from. They're still the Village's Council... That's why I want you to leave Konoha for a while... undergo the same training that Jiraiya went through–" Naruto felt the first tendrils of excitement wrap around his stomach, his eyes lighting up instantly. "–and unleash the potential the old pervert always saw in you... I think you owe him that much. I think we owe him..."

Naruto stared at the thick iron door pensively. He wasn't used to 'pensive', really...

In the dim twilight, the chakra pulsating through the cold material made the metal glow, though almost unnoticeably. For the fourth time in over half an hour, he carefully lifted his hand and placed it on the seal, the ink seemingly coming to life under his touch. And for the fourth time in over half an hour, he couldn't bring himself to actually open it.

Shaking his head, he sighed in resignation, glancing up and down the corridor thoughtfully before he pressed his forehead against the cool iron briefly.

"I meant it when I said I'd give you a chance to start over again..." he whispered intently, seriously hoping that chakra seals were sound proof. Then, he turned on his heels and left, refusing to look back.

"How long are you going to stay there?" Sakura asked awkwardly, watching him stuff his backpack with the essentials – a few spare sets of clothes, first-aid kit, ramen... He was serious about the whole thing.

"I don't know yet..." he admitted distractedly, going through his mental check-list for the third time. "...Toothbrush..." He frowned, looking around searchingly. Sakura wordlessly pointed at the kitchen table. "Tsunade's not sure how long it took Jiraiya to finish his training there, and the Toads aren't exactly talkative about their secret techniques... I might be back by the end of the month, or I might be away for a while."

"I don't like it..." Sakura mumbled almost inaudibly, crossing her arms in front of her chest almost protectively.

"...Tsunade promised to make sure nothing happens to him," Naruto told her with a smile, finishing his packing and shouldering his bag. She nodded jerkily, wiping at her eyes almost viciously. Everything about her posture screamed fear, and Naruto was almost surprised to know how much she'd come to depend on him over the past few months. Years. Maybe.

"I don't know what you two are planning," she said quietly, crossing the distance between him and hugging him so tightly it nearly hurt. "But promise me you'll take care. And, please, go see him before you leave... He's... "

"...just make sure you keep him alive until I return," he replied quietly. "I'll be back as soon as possible."

Konoha was in ruins when he returned, only rubble, dust, and the fleeting memory of a place he'd always believed to be the most secure in the whole world remaining.

He couldn't say why it took so long for the fact to fully sink in, but it was only after the fight was long since over that he truly realized the extent of the damage Konoha had taken. It was only after the Kyuubi's rage had calmed and the pain had subsided that he truly realized that Hinata had been willing to sacrifice her own life to save him, that Tsunade had almost died trying to protect everyone from the blast of Pein's jutsu, that Kakashi had been dead. It was only after his return, when he and Sakura met at the edge of the crater that had once been their Village, her face covered in dust and blood and tears, that he really, truly realized what had happened.

Konoha was in ruins.

"I've been wondering when you'd show up," Sasuke greeted him evenly, breaking the silence that had filled the space between them for over a minute with such ease and such calm that Naruto didn't know if he wanted to laugh or cry.

"I was busy," he admitted, wondering if Sasuke was still enough of a child to take it the I-couldn't-bother-myself-with-you kind of way or the way he actually meant it. He was almost surprised when Sasuke nodded ever so slightly.

"Sakura told me," he replied, his voice never wavering. It felt like the sheer monotony of his tone created a wall between them that Naruto didn't know how to climb over. He swallowed, remembering Sakura's words. It's like he's not sure if he even wants to live.

"She's probably exaggerating..." he mumbled, wondering why someone like the pale-faced, way too thin person on the other side of those iron bars could still make him feel so insecure. Maybe it was because their relationship had been based on rivalry from the very beginning. Now that Sasuke had been defeated, there was nothing to tell him how to act anymore...

"What brings you here then? I'm not going to congratulate you."

"I just thought..." Naruto began, trailing off when he realized he had no idea what he wanted. "I guess I just wanted to make sure you're okay," he said quietly after a few short moments, shifting awkwardly.

This was not what he'd imagined their first real conversation in years to be. He'd imagined Sasuke would hiss and snarl and call him an idiot, he'd expected death threads or promises of pain and bloodshed, but through it all, he had always somehow believed that he'd be able to get through to the raven and that eventually, they'd be able to get back to the way they used to be...

Right then and there, he seriously wondered what had given him that idea.

The one positive thing that came out of Pein's attack and the resulting destruction was the fact that it had been Naruto who had defeated him - Naruto and no one else.

Naruto – the damned Kyuubi brat, the demon kid, the infamous dead-last who had failed the final exam at the Academy three times in a row – that exact Naruto had seemingly appeared out of nowhere and saved the Village. He'd never seen Kiba grin quite as smug as he did when one of the girls that had always looked down on the blond had suddenly asked him to go out with her. He'd never seen Sakura look quite as satisfied as she did when one of the Clan heads that had always supported Koharu and Homura in their attempts to lock Naruto up bowed to him in the corridors.

When Tsunade announced she would make him the next Hokage, the Village Council never stood much of a chance against the euphoric excitement of the Villagers, and Shikamaru implied they hadn't protested half as viciously as he would have expected.

Almost overnight, he had become the hero he'd always dreamt to be.

"How's it feel?" Kiba asked, plopping down next to Naruto and handing him another beer. The blond took it without a word, a content smile playing around his lips as he stared up at the cloudless night sky.

"Like a dream," he admitted after a few seconds and Kiba lightly punched him in the shoulder, laughing.

"Then come back inside, you lonesome dreamer! I assure you, nothing's ever been as real as the things going on in there." He pointed at the back door of Tsunade's favorite bar over his shoulder. "And I just can't comfortably get drunk when the one I'm drinking for's sitting out here on his own and staring at the stars of all things... How's that even fit you?"

Naruto laughed and decided that the brunet was probably. Taking a few gulps of his beer, he pushed himself to his feet, dragging Kiba up with him.

"One last thing before you're too smashed to even remember who I am," he grinned, ruffling the other's hair just because Kiba hated it like nothing else. "Thanks for the beer, thanks for the party and thanks for being my friend. I totally owe you one, alright?"

"Oh hell, don't get all mushy now..." Kiba laughed, scratching his cheek sheepishly. "I'm just kind of ridiculously happy for you, 's all..."

"How's he doing?" Naruto asked tensely, when Sakura exited Sasuke's room in the hospital.

"Better..." she replied tiredly, taking the paper cup of coffee Ino offered her with a grateful smile. "He's asleep now."

"His eyes?"

"As far as I can tell, there's no permanent damage... What about the other guy?" she added, turning back to Naruto with a look of concern on her face. "Anything new?" Naruto shook his head with a sigh.

"We've got just about nothing so far..." he admitted. "Except that he's not on the prisoner list and that none of the guards seems to remember since when or even why he's been in there. Shikamaru and Ibiki are doing what they can..."

"My father, too," Ino threw in quietly, shuffling her feet.

"Still nothing. We know that nothing seemed out of the ordinary right up to the point where the asshole attacked him." He paused, his face darkening some more. "What worries me most is that a few of the... more reliable inmates said Sasuke didn't really put up much of a fight... and we all know he should have been able to deal with the fucker, even with only taijutsu."

This time, it was Sakura's turn to sigh heavily. "We should have stopped them from releasing him from solitary confinement... We should have known something like this would happen sooner or later..."

"I already talked to Tsunade," he mumbled. "She promised to put him back in his cell below the Tower."

Out of the two of them, it was Sakura who finally voiced what both of them couldn't help but think – he knew that he had almost been at the point of admitting it to himself by the time she said it, but still her words pulled the ground from beneath his feet. Mostly because they forced him to face a part of reality that he'd been avoiding for an unhealthily long time.

"I think we're losing him," she whispered sadly as they arrived at Naruto's apartment together that day, Naruto carrying the plastic bag of food that Sasuke had once again refused to even look at. "He's killing himself..."

Suddenly, Sasuke reminded him of a bird, always striving for the next strip of blue sky. And no bird could survive in a cage like Sasuke's – not with nothing to live for, not without as much as the slightest sliver of hope or any other kind of motivation left for them.

They ate in silence that evening, both of them lost in their own thoughts, and when Sakura fell asleep on his couch, Naruto smiled and carried her to his bed, making sure she was comfortable before he went back to the livingroom, feeling once more like he hadn't slept in weeks. Still, he lay awake most of the night and when Sakura left the next morning, she looked like she hadn't been off any better.

"They've made their decision," Tsunade stated grimly, staring at the ceiling in her office with a mixture of disgust and frustration. "There's nothing more I can do about it. I'm sorry."

Naruto gaped at her incredulously, his thoughts running rampant.

"That's it!" he demanded, the Yondaime's seal suddenly alarmingly hot on his stomach. "They've made their decision! How the fuck do you— I can't believe you're..." He ran both hands through his hair, trying to calm down before something bad happened. "I'm out of here," he announced as calmly as he could. "I've made a decision as well, back when I was a child. I'm not going to put up with this."

"Don't be stupid, brat..." Tsunade laughed mirthlessly, still sounding somewhat stunned. Maybe even unsettled.

"I'm not going to watch him die. I don't care what I'll have to become to keep him alive, but I won't let him leave without trying anything."

And suddenly, Tsunade closed her eyes, taking one of those incredibly deep, slow breaths, and sagged back into her chair like all her strings had been cut. "What you'll have to become..." she echoed almost affectionately, one hand coming up smooth out the wrinkles between her brows. "It's your 19th birthday next week, isn't it?"

"...yeah," he confirmed after a few moments of confused silence and she laughed, sounding a lot younger than she actually was.

"Perfect," she said, a satisfied smile on her lips as she sat up straight again. Something about her was just totally different from instants before, like some invisible weight had just been lifted off her shoulders. "'cause maybe I can't safe him, but there's still a chance that you can. You're magical like that," she added with another laugh. "I never thought it'd be so relieving to get out of this chair."

"You okay?" Neji asked gravely, adjusting his mask atop his head.

"Sure," Naruto replied, raising an eyebrow in question. "Do I look like I'm not?"

"Just asking," the other said, a small smile spreading across his lips as he turned away, glancing over to where their captain was still discussing with their client. "I thought you might be nervous... Might be one of your last missions, after all."

Naruto took a few seconds before he understood and quickly pulled his mask over his face to hide the blush. "I'm okay," he muttered stubbornly.

"I still can't believe you actually made it this far," the other continued, his voice taking a teasing undertone as Shikamaru returned to them, looking thoroughly displeased.

"We're to take the western flank," he informed them begrudgingly, snapping his mask into place as well. "The order is to leave no one alive. What's up with the stupid grin, Neji?"

"Nothing," the Hyuuga said, finally slipping his ANBU mask down over his face as well. "Just trying to cheer up our bratty Hokage-to-be."

Naruto bit back a comment, simply shaking his head, miffed, while Shikamaru merely gave his usual answer to everything.

"I can't believe she's sending me out now!" Naruto yelled in frustration, slamming his fist into the hallway wall, leaving a small indent in the stone. "And for two weeks!" Sakura was by his side no second later, her gentle hands soothing the pain that had exploded up his arm at the impact.

"Gaara personally requested you to be send on this mission, you know that," she told him mollifyingly.

"Of course I fucking know!" he snapped, feeling sorry almost immediately when Sakura winced. "Sorry..." he added a lot less angrily.

"Don't worry," she mumbled back, finishing her work on his hand. "I know how you feel. I'm worried sick as well."

"I'm just... horribly scared that he's dead by the time I get back..." he admitted, the last of his anger morphing into almost-panic. "They tried to kill him before – leaving Konoha now is like begging them to just get it over with..."

"Hey, Kakashi and I will be here," Sakura offered weakly, not convincing at all. It was almost like an unspoken agreement by now that saving Sasuke's sorry ass was Naruto's job, if not fate – always had been, always would be. She was as concerned about him not being here for so long at such a critical time as he was.

"I know that, " he replied, letting go of a hissing breath. "It's just... Well..." He shifted awkwardly. "When Tsunade told me about the damn mission yesterday, I thought I'd just have to make good time on the way there and back, maybe beg Gaara to let me off early, and everything would be alright... But today, I woke up screaming because I dreamt I'd lost him... I can't even think straight since then." He pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes. "I feel like shit."

Sakura was quiet in that shocked silent kind of way for almost long enough for him to look up at her with a fake smile and tell it probably wasn't that bad after all and that he'd be back in no time and... Yeah. The kind of stuff she's hit him for. When she finally broke the silence, it was without words.

She simply put her arms around his neck and pulled him against her chest, burying her face in his hair.

"No matter what – just come back alive and everything will eventually turn out right. You will make it alright." she mumbled into his blond locks, her voice trembling ever so slightly and for once, Naruto thought it was alright to let her hold him the way he usually held her, her hands drawing soothing circles on his back.

Naruto knew that the moment he entered the Village to find Kiba waiting for him by the gate, eyes agonized and watery, would stay burned into his memory for as long as he lived. It would accompany him, haunt him, remind him – never leave that place right behind his forehead. He would remember the tears on his friend's face, the shaking quality of his voice, the way he had to stop and restart his sentence three times until he actually managed to finish it, pulling the floor from underneath Naruto's feet with a force that left him dizzy, lightheaded with shock and a pain so intense that it drowned out all other thought.

"I'm so fucking sorry, man..." Kiba sobbed.

He would never forget the day his teammate, his first love, his best friend, his everything, in a way, died. He would never forget the last words Haruno Sakura had said to him.

The first few hours after his return were nothing more than a shady flood of blurred pictures and scattered thoughts in his memory. The storm of emotions, mostly the pain and the despair, covered everything else.

The following days, he barely talked to anyone, though Kiba tried, really tried to get through to him. He was grateful and annoyed beyond reason at the same time and after Naruto yelled him to get his ass out of his damn apartment on the third day, the brunet gave up on the whole conversation thing. He still came by to make sure Naruto at least kept eating.

The funeral was probably the most painful experience, the very fact that caused the funeral not counting, of course. Iruka came by to pick him up shortly after noon, hours early, and took him over to Ichiraku's and for the first time in his life, Naruto sat at the counter and quietly admitted that he really wasn't hungry at all. They reached the graveyard together, still hours early, and Naruto spent a good two hours just sitting there and staring at the coffin, a wreath of white lilies adorning the lid. It was only when Tsunade arrived, dark circles running under her eyes, that he found it in himself to get back to his feet. Even Kakashi was there by then.

The ceremony itself was heart-warmingly beautiful and moving to the point of tears, though Naruto only really remembered bit and pieces of it – Ino's speech and how she'd broken down into sobs and pained sounds maybe halfway through, Lee's face – ashen with grief – as he watched the coffin being lowered into the grave, Kakashi's hand on his shoulder throughout the whole thing and how it trembled ever so slightly, the silent pain in Tsunade's eyes, the despair that welled up in him when he once again realized, in all mind-numbing clarity, that Haruno Sakura was gone.

She'd lived her life struggling to save and restore lives. It only seemed right, in a strange, fucked up kind of way, that she'd died protecting someone.

"You happy now?" Naruto asked bitterly, slamming the iron door to Sasuke's cell shut behind him way too forceful. Sasuke stared him in something that the rational part of Naruto's brain easily identified as shock for one of these eternal moments.

"One day," he then forced out through clenched teeth, "I will punch your face in for that alone." His voice was shaking with the strain to keep from screaming at Naruto.

Thrusting his hands into his pant pockets, he strolled over to stand in front of the iron bars that separated the room into his side and Sasuke's. The Uchiha kept glaring at him from his place on the small bed, where he'd probably been meditating, legs still crossed and hands resting on his knees.

"Get the fuck out if you have nothing better to say," Sasuke spat after a few minutes, his eyes ablaze with pain – maybe even hurt – and helpless fury.

"What do you want me to say?" Naruto hissed sharply, his trembling hands clenching into fists by his sides. "What do you want to hear, asshole?"

"As if any of that ever mattered!" Sasuke exploded, jumping to his feet and getting right up into Naruto's face in the blink of an eye, so much barely restrained energy behind his every movement that Naruto couldn't help but wonder for an instant. "What the hell's your problem anyway? If you hadn't fucking dragged me back here against my goddamn will, none of this would have happened!" he yelled, apparently only just so managing not to try and hit the blond. "Don't you fucking dare to act like this is my fault now, just don't fucking—!"

"You really think it would have been better if I'd killed you," Naruto interrupted him incredulously. "You really..." He swallowed with difficulty, one hand coming up to slowly reach for the collar of Sasuke's black shirt. "I can't believe she died for someone like you," he breathed, barely audible. "Hell, I can't believe I would have done the same. Isn't it funny, Sasuke, that we both fucking loved you enough to throw our whole fucking lives away for you?"

Sasuke's eyes were wide when Naruto finally grabbed him by the front of his shirt and jerked him the remaining inches closer, pulling him flush against the iron bars, the lightning-type chakra than ran trough them cracking through both his and Sasuke's body at the contact. But neither of them cared, really.

"She had a boyfriend, did you know that? She was fucking happy, Sasuke. And she still didn't hesitate to do what she did. She loved you, just like I love you, just like Kakashi loves you, because you're a fucking part of our fucking family, and now she's dead and you still—"

"Shut up," Sasuke cut him off almost breathlessly, his mask finally cracking. "I was there, for fuck's sake!" he whispered hotly, tears welling up in those usually so cold eyes and Naruto let go of him like he'd been burned, Sasuke stumbling back a few steps before he practically collapsed. "I was there when she died, Naruto. I held her when she died and I still feel her blood on my hands. And I swear to every god you want me to," he forced out, eyes piercing Naruto's very soul with their intensity. "I swear to god that if I could turn back time – if I could just bring her back, undo my mistakes, make sure you're both happy – I would. I'd do everything..."

Naruto took a few forcibly calm breaths, his rage and despair and whatever else had driven him to even think the words he'd thrown at Sasuke fading into nothing but regret and guilt and sadness.

"Live," he breathed weakly, before he turned and practically fled. "'cause that's what she wanted you to do."

"You look better," Naruto smiled, resting his forehead against the iron bars separating them. His fingers were drawing senseless patterns in the dust as he stayed squatted down as close to Sasuke as possible.

"I feel better," the raven admitted evenly, sounding so much more alive than weeks ago. "I can't complain."

"Your eyes?"

"Alright, I guess."

"So you can actually see me again now?" Naruto teased softly, drawing circles, spirals, hearts, whatever came to his mind as he thought about his life, his past and future, his dreams and wishes...

"I always saw you," Sasuke said with a smile of his own. More of a smirk, though, Naruto thought. "Even with my eyes closed, I could always see you," he admitted ever so softly and Naruto's head shot up in shock, startled by the suddenness of Sasuke's kind-of confession. "I could always see you and Sakura and Kakashi and Konoha... You were always there, somewhere in my heart, I just never really realized how much it actually meant to have you there."

And while Naruto could only stare at him wide-eyed and almost too close to tears all over again, Sasuke smiled almost ruefully and pushed away from the wall to cross the distance between them, crouching down in front of Naruto until they were eye-to-eye.

"Thank you, I guess," he said, ruffling the blond's hair through the bars, chakra crackling softly when he accidentally touched the metal with the loose sleeve of his black yukata. He che'd in annoyance, pulling his hand back.

It was then that the heavy iron door opened and Kiba perked his head inside, seeming somewhat flustered.

"Fuck, there you are!" he exclaimed, throwing the door open a little too forcefully. It banged against the wall and he quickly extended a hand to catch it before it came back to hit him in the face. "Tsunade's fucking furious, dude! What the hell do you think you're doing, disappearing like that?"

"You should have been able to guess he'd be here," Sasuke stated, one eyebrow raised in amusement.

"Fuck you, Uchiha!" Kiba snapped, pointing a finger at him in accusation. "You could have told him to get his ass out of here and come back to us, for fuck's sake! You should have, goddammit!"

"Calm down, mutt," the blond threw in before things could escalate – they always seemed to do between Sasuke and the Inuzuka, lately. He almost felt reminded of his childhood, but that would probably make him feel old as hell, so he pushed the thought aside, standing and dusting off his pants.

His robe, almost white safe for the fire pattern at the bottom, still felt somewhat unfamiliar, but he thought he might be able to get used to it, eventually. Or he'd just have the damn thing shortened by a few inches... Frowning he dusted it off as well, mutely wondering why his father had seemed to be so fond of it.

He heard the sound of Tsunade's heels hitting the stone floor of the corridor only a few seconds before the blond woman appeared behind Kiba, the brunet jumping a mile high, a high-pitched "Holy fuck!" escaping his lips.

"You!" she hollered and Naruto actually had the nerve to blink at her innocently.

"Me?"

"You...! Your inauguration is in less than ten minutes, you brainless imbecile! You fucking better get your ass out of here right about now unless you want your time as Hokage to commence with the spanking of your life! And you—" she added threateningly, her glare shifting to Sasuke, "—stop smirking like that if you know what's good for you." Naruto had a notion that Sasuke did not, in fact, stop smirking, if the constant darkening of Tsunade's expression was any indication. He didn't turn to confirm his suspicion, though.

He was almost out the door, Tsunade already stomping ahead, when something occurred to him and he turned on his heels, returning to Sasuke for one last question.

"You'll be with me from now on, right?" he asked almost suspiciously, his eyes narrowing when Sasuke simply looked stunned for a moment. "I think you owe me that much..."

"I think I will, "Sasuke eventually said, taking the hand Naruto offered him, the barest hint of a smile on his lips.

"You'd fucking better, bastard," Naruto exclaimed, his own smile turning into a head-splitting grin.

"Remind Kiba to tell me how you fucked up your speech, moron."

"Like hell I will..." When he pulled the iron door shut behind him, he briefly wished Sasuke could be there with him when he would realize his dream. But for now, it would have to be enough to know that Sasuke had managed to find his way back.

In the end, maybe something good could come from something Sakura's death. Something she would have liked... Naruto wondered.