Angel was on his way to the library when he saw Cordelia walking across the parking lot. Since it was deserted, he followed her wanting to make sure she was okay. Checking on Cordy had become a habit over the past month. He liked to think of her as his friend now.
"It's late," Angel said standing behind her.
Cordy held her hand over her heart startled, "I swear to God Angel I'm buying you a freaking bell."
"Sorry," Angel said, but he was smiling slightly. He enjoyed flustering Cordelia because it didn't happen often. She was normally unflappable.
"Sure you're sorry," Cordy said liking his smile and feeling irritated by it.
"It's late for you to be walking through the parking lot," Angel said.
"Well, I stayed awhile after cheerleading practice. I'm not up to speed yet," Cordy said and then gestured to the cheerleading outfit she wore. "You think I wear this just to look cute."
Angel wished she hadn't called attention to her outfit cause he had to stop and study her from her feet to her eyes. He couldn't help looking at her legs a little to long, then her hips, then her breasts which he was certain would fit in his hands just right, and then his eyes meet her knowing eyes. She smiled at him then because she knew that even if he loved Buffy he wasn't blind to the fact that Cordelia Chase was a hottie.
"What is it with men and cheerleaders?" Cordy asked.
Angel had no reply for that and he suddenly couldn't look her in the eye, "Isn't it too soon for yo to be straining yourself. You've only been out of the hospital a few weeks."
"I"m doing okay, Angel," C ordy promised.
"Just be careful on your way home," Angel said worrying she was pushing herself too hard.
"I will," Cordy said getting in to her car. "And Angel."
"Yes Cordy," Angel replied, bracing himself for some cutting remark.
"Thanks for worrying about me but you don't have to," Cordy said and then she drove away before he could reply.
Those were almost the same words she said to him when he visited her in the hospital.. He'd known she'd been happily surprised to see him, but she'd brushed him off. He'd spent a lot of time with her since then but she would always end up hiding behind her defenses. It was almost like she didn't trust his concern. Angel was suddenly angry and was tempted to go after her, but he was already late to meet with Buffy and the others in the library.
Being around Buffy was always difficult. They hadn't really talked since she announced they couldn't be friends and then walked away from him. Any talking they did was confined to slayer business. Angel wished he knew what it took to fix things but he had no idea what to do. What happened with Angelus could not be taken back.
Later Angel and Buffy walked through the cemetery and came upon a woman being attacked by vampires. Together Angel and Buffy fought them off. When it came to a battle they were in perfect harmony with each other but in everything else there was confusion between them. For a moment when they looked at each other they actually understood what was in the other's mind but that moment didn't last. Buffy helped the woman stand up.
"Are you alright?" Buffy asked.
"I am thanks to you," she replied and then she looked at Angel. "You are one of them but you helped me."
"Angel isn't like them," Buffy assured her.
"I won't hurt you," Angel said.
"Thank you,' the woman said holding Angel and Buffy's hands.
Angel and Buffy both felt their hands get very warm for a moment and then the moment passed.
"Would you like us to walk you home?" Buffy asked.
"Just to my car," the woman replied.
She smiled at them both before she drove away.
Angel was having the dream again. The one he dreaded and longed for. Cordy was in his bed wearing her cheerleading uniform. She kissed her way down his body until she got to his corse curls. She kissed the inside of his left thigh and then the inside of his right thigh. Then her mouth hovered over his hardness. He could feel her warm breath against his skin.
"You like to play games," Angel grunted when she licked his belly.
"I'm really good at games," Cordy said kissing her way up his chest and kissing his mouth. Then she reversed the course her head resting on his stomach. "What do you want?"
"I won't beg," Angel growled. "I'll just take what I want."
Cordy laughed when she found herself on her back with Angel on top of her.
"You won't be laughing in a minute," Angel said placing his hand underneath her skirt. He was shocked to find she wasn't wearing any panties.
"I knew I forgot something when I left my house today," Cordy said thrusting her hip towards his hand.
He removed his hand rather than give her what she wanted.
"I'm good at games too," Angel said licking and nuzzling her neck. "You're wearing too many clothes.
Angel let her up long enough to remove her top and skirt. Angel just stared at her a while.
"I think," Cordy said inching towards him on her hands and knees. "If you wanted to," Cordy continued until Angel was on his back and she was on top of him, "You could make me come just by looking at me like that."
"Tonight that's not the way you'll come," Angel said his hands kneading her bottom.
"We've got all night," Cordy said kissing her way down his chest again. "And there are plenty of ways to come."
She licked his shaft and kissed it's tip. And then she took him in her mouth. Angel fought the urge to thrust further in to the warmth of her mouth. Suddenly Cordy was on her back again with Angel on top of her, but she wasn't laughing this time.
"I thought you wanted..." Cordy said suddenly uncertain of herself.
Angel leaned down to whisper in her ear, "I want to come inside you."
And then he thrust inside her. He and Cordy stared into each other's eyes as her hips meet his thrusts.
"I love you," Cordy said as she came.
That's usually where the dream would end and then Angel would wake up full of frustration and guilt. The frustration came from the realization that it was all a dream and Cordy wasn't in his arms. The guilt came when Angel thought that out of respect for both Cordy and Buffy that the dreams were wrong.
But Angel didn't wake up and he and his dream Cordy made love again. Cordy was right about there being many ways to come, and they tried several of them.
It was 3 in the afternoon when Angel finally woke up with the familiar feeling of guilt and frustration. Neither feeling lasted very long when he turned on his side to find Cordelia naked and asleep beside him.
Angel jumped out of the bed waking Cordy up.
"Come back to bed," Cordy said smiling. "I'm not finished with you yet."
Angel pinched his skin and wasn't happy when it hurt.
"What are you doing here?" Angel asked grabbing a pillow from his bed and covering himself.
Cordy stopped smiling, "What's wrong, Angel?"
"Did we..." Angel began.
"Yes," Cordy replied and then got angry. "And now you've changed your mind. I thought you wanted me as much as I wanted you."
She got out of the bed and angrily put on her cheerleading uniform.
"My soul?" Angel said. How could he have had sex no made love to Cordy and not lose his soul.
Cordy looked at him as if he were crazy, "You're soul's permanent. Have you forgotten everything?"
Angel thought it over. The dream he often had about Cordy involved him discovering his soul was permanent and then making love to her. Somehow the dream was now a reality. Cordy was on her way out of the mansion when Angel grabbed her arm.
"Let me go, Angel," Cordy said pulling away from him. "If I wasn't the one you wanted, you shouldn't have brought me home with you."
"You know I wanted you," Angel replied angrily. "It's just that this isn't right."
Cordy came to stand in front of Angel her body pressing against his, "It felt right."
Angel wanted to push her to ground right then and there and just fuck her, but he didn't. He stepped away from her.
"Let me take you home," Angel said softly.
Cordy shook her head, "I've got my car. Besides it's still daylight."
"I'll want to see you tonight," Angel said in spite of all his misgivings.
Cordy smiled her knowing smile as she walked out the door.
Angel dressed quickly and took the sewer route to the Sunnydale High Library. He was shocked to find Cordy standing in the isle where he entered.
She frowned at him, "Why are you bothering with the sewer route?"
Angle frowned in return. This wasn't the Cordy he woke up with. His Cordy would smile at him seductively instead of showering him with a bewildered frown.
"It's daylight. The sewer route's my only option," Angel replied.
Cordy walked towards him and placed a hand on his cheek, "You're cold."
"I'm a vampire," Angel replied matter of factly.
"You weren't this morning," Cordy said and suddenly her face was full of concern. "I'm sorry it didn't last."
"I don't know what you're talking about, Cordy," Angel said confused. "I've been at the mansion all day."
Cordy stepped away from Angel, "Then who was it with us all in the library this morning?"
"It wasn't me," Angel said. "Tell me what happened."
"Buffy gathered us all together this morning and announced that you were human," Cordy said. "We all went out in the courtyard together you included. You just stood there in the sunlight not burning to a crisp. Buffy said she woke up and found you sitting in her kitchen having breakfast with her mom. You even took them to breakfast. I touched your hand Angel. It was warm."
"It wasn't me," Angel repeated. "I need to speak with Giles."