A/N: I really wanted this to be a one-shot, short and all that. But, I couldn't stop writing once I started this prompt fic from the Gun and Guitar community from LJ. This is prompt #26 K and Hiro write a fanfic. There was so much possibility for this and I made a little story. All the references I made to other fics or fanart I got permission for by the people that wrote or drew them.
Disclaimer: I make no profit from writing yummy fics about K and Hiro, which belong to Maki Murakami.
K and Hiro Do America
Chapter 1
The world is made up of many things. One can say it is a bounty of loveliness or a cesspool of hate and ugly things. The people that roam her vast plains are parasites: they climb her mountains and build on her surface. These people create great things, some of which slaughter their creators, like atomic bombs and other such monstrous creations.
They kill each other…
We shan't look only at the bad; there are many beautiful things in this world too. The Egyptian pyramids for example, divine structures built so long ago with technology still unknown to modern man. To man who constructs buildings to scrape the skies, to man who splits atoms and repairs a beating heart, to man who creates music and film and captures the pure essence of humankind.
To make us weep, applaud, scream, and most of all laugh.
He turns grains of sand into glass, carves wonderful objects from stone, and his hand flourishes over the canvas. Before our very eyes a picture forms: it could be a surrealistic landscape, a harrowing death, a cataclysmic event… It could be pure love in its most sacred form. Endless, are the ways in which we portray ourselves, our planet and our beings.
But there is one thing more powerful than even one hundred Supermen, something greater than the next Coca-Cola flavor—it is even more fantastic than the religion-altering suggestions in the Da Vinci Code.
Ladies and gentlemen… It is the written word, very likely the Holy Grail itself, the thing your next door neighbor partakes in but you'll never know about, it is…
THE FANFIC!
Two members of Bad Luck stood watching another member of their band.
"Tell me Hiro has not zoned out reading, again?" complained a haughty young boy in the mid stages of adolescence.
His name was Suguru.
Shuichi, vocalist of Bad Luck, turned his head from his best friend, their guitarist, back to Suguru their keyboardist.
"Yeah, I know he's smart, but why does he have to rub it in?" Shuichi murmured.
Suguru rolled his eyes disdainfully, "I don't think that's the point. The point is that he's dragging down our practice time again. The point is that his fly is open and I'm saying this loudly, yet he doesn't hear me!"
Hiro calmly turned a page.
"Hmm, you have a point. By now he should have screeched at us to stop being perverts," the pink-haired singer suggested.
Suguru looked stricken. "I…I'm not a pervert! Take that back!"
"Well, I didn't even know Hiro's fly was open until you pointed it out." Shuichi retaliated.
The green-haired synthesizing star turned crimson. "Just tell him that we need to start practicing now!"
"HEY! You're not the boss of me! You go over there and tell him to get back to work!" Shuichi cried. He didn't like when this so-smart Tohma-cousin boy got in his way.
Suguru almost bared fangs, "If I was your boss, I'd kill myself!"
A new voice, one with an American accent, came between them and interrupted in a hurried whisper, "Is Hiroshi really flying low…?"
Shuichi and Suguru jumped, startled. When did he get there?! K, their insane manager, held one gun in each hand, his arms crisscrossed, looking over at Hiro reading something intently.
"I see we have a crisis, please evacuate the studio. Operation 'Breeze in my Pants' is about to commence," K commanded.
"What the hell does that mean?!" Suguru wailed, swatting the gun away from his cheek.
Shuichi stood silent, pondering how funny it was that 'breeze in my pants' made him think of Yuki…
K put his guns away and looked sadly at Suguru. "A shame… I had such high hopes for you," the blond with his feminine-like ponytail lamented.
Suguru looked stunned. "I give up; you're all a bunch of…"
Just then, Hiro, who was casually leaning up against the wall, dressed in plain jeans and a black Van Halen t-shirt, giggled.
All heads spun in his direction.
"The curiosity is killing me!" K blasted.
"Me too! He's been doing this for a week now but he won't tell me what it is," Shuichi explained to K.
"I'm going to go eat rat poison. Does anyone want any?" Suguru muttered offhandedly.
"Sure…" K and Shuichi both murmured vacantly, waving their hands in his general direction.
Huffing, Suguru left the studio grumbling, "I need a real gig."
Suddenly Hiro looked up at Shuichi and K who were just standing there, staring at him. His eyes widened; when had K gotten there?! His cheeks grew hot and he buried his face in his hands, dropping the sheets of paper he was holding.
The printouts scattered all over the place.
"I see you have returned to planet Earth, Hiroshi," K mused and eyed the younger man speculatively. "Here, let me help you with those."
Shuichi looked oddly over at K who seemed so eager to help Hiro. He too crouched down to help pick up the papers.
"NO!" Hiro shouted, shoving them back and began scooping up the papers himself. He grabbed at the ones in Shuichi's and K's hands violently. They laughed at the bewilderment of it but tried to help anyway.
"What's the big deal, Hiro?" Shuichi questioned, watching his friend scramble on hands and knees.
Hiro crawled between K's legs, reaching for a stray sheet, but as he was doing so K bent down and snatched up a paper stuck to the bottom of Hiro's shoe.
Before Hiro could stop him, K began read out loud:
"It was the middle of the night, when only the stars shone and the heartbeats of two spent lovers lay peacefully in each other's arms. Such was the beauty of their afterglow that the world just seemed to stop turning.
"Will you love me even when the press finds out about this and tears our world apart?"
"I won't let that happen, you should know me better than that."
The redhead laughed at the blonde softly, "My girlfriend would dump me and your wife…"
"…she would practice her aim on my head. Shh, come now, don't think like that…they'll never know, Hir…."
K trailed off, his ears growing hot. He flashed a look at Shuichi, then down at Hiro. He blinked, Hiro was gone!
"Oooo what happens?!" Shuichi squealed. "Don't stop now!"
A shuffling noise revealed Hiro crawling out the studio door, escaping. K wore a goofy look on his face, he glanced at Shuichi. "I just remembered I have some dire business to conduct. Err…go play with Yuki or something."
Shuichi beamed, quickly forgetting about the story.
K slipped out of the studio and peered up and down the hall. Hunting was his specialty! Hiro wouldn't get very far. Oh look, there was another sheet of paper Hiro must have dropped in his flight. K went to retrieve it.
Well, call him a son of a gun!
Who knew that with fame came such dirty distractions? He couldn't help himself, couldn't stop once he'd discovered them.
Fanfics…
People created worlds for Bad Luck, pictures and stories, incredible stuff. Before he knew it, he was spellbound—especially by the stories. It shocked him at first, tales of his band members' and NG's torrid love affairs. There was no limit to the countless ways in which they were paired either.
Hiro read them all.
Then, last night he'd found one starring K and himself. Those were so rare. He couldn't put it down, so he printed it off and brought it to work. There was something so delicious about it, sinful.
Fanfiction became Hiro's little secret obsession.
At first he was going to run away in his embarrassment, but now that K had found out about it… There really was no hiding. He might as well fess up or leave the country. Hiro wondered what K would think, or do. His insides twisted with the thought. But it was better to face K now than risking having him blab it to the entire band and humiliate him more.
Geez, it was bad enough that K had started to read out loud!
Hiro spun around in K's office chair.
He'd hidden in the very last place K would search for him. snort Give the man a run for his money at least. Still, how could a man that was armed to the teeth keep his office door unlocked? Perhaps there were booby traps; he looked over the sparsely decorated room, at the large blind-adorned window, the sill littered with gun pieces and NRA magazines.
In the corner Hiro spotted a rocket launcher propped up against the wall. He looked under the desk and found something stuck there. The blood drained from Hiro's face. It was a grenade. You know, maybe it'd be best if he didn't investigate K's office too much. Instead, he looked over at the framed photo of K's wife and kid. Very nice, hard to believe K was a family man. In the waste basket he found an empty can of beer, lots of cigarette butts, gum wrappers and an empty gun cartridge. Hiro sat back and wondered if there might be a closed-circuited camera filming him right now.
He gave the room an unsuspecting \m/ sign, the universal symbol to Rock On!
The doorknob turned and Hiro slapped his hands down on top of the desk and stopped spinning the chair. K strolled in, wearing those functional tan slacks, white shirt, and that ever present purple tie of his. A particular fanfic filled his vision and for a moment, Hiro wondered what K would look like dressed as a cowboy...
"Hiro?!" he cried. "I tore the building apart looking for you! And here you are in my office," K gruffed. How lucky for Hiro, because he'd almost called in the big guns!
Instead, K placed his hands on his lean hips, the small collection of printouts clutched in his left hand. Then, he smirked and twirled a stray lock of hair. "So, you have the hots for me, huh?" He gave a silly hand wave and a goofy chuckle.
Hiro's brows rose. "What?! No!"
K's face fell, his paw stopping in mid air. "Well, didn't you write this story? It's pretty good you know. I must say I'm a bit tickled."
Heat bloomed on Hiro's cheeks. "I didn't write that, I found it on the Internet. I decided to come here because I don't want you to embarrass me further. You'll tell everyone if I don't stop you, I bet you already told Shuichi, didn't you? It's just a story, fanfiction actually, I couldn't help it, they're…they're addictive. Its weird, but kind of neat reading stuff about yourself," he explained and dug out a cigarette from his back pocket. "I swear if you tell anyone I…I'll tell everyone you have one nut and… And that I caught you picking your nose!" Hiro threatened, sitting back satisfied.
That would fix him.
K perked up one brow peculiarly. He watched Hiro light his smoke, staring up at him boldly. "Having one nut is nothing to be ashamed of Hiro," K said seriously.
Hiro shifted his eyes uneasily before they dared to land back on K's, "You don't have…?"
"That's none of your business…" K began, but his eyes twinkled with mischief.
Damn! K was messing with him. Hiro's face fell this time. "That's not funny!"
"You're getting yourself pretty worked up, Hiro. For your information, I didn't tell Shuichi anything. I stopped reading just as your name appeared in a printed story about you and me. Care to explain the fact that you were giggling in the studio over a story involving us?" K asked curiously.
Hiro shrugged. "It was funny, and it's hot, ok? It's not just me and you, these authors make up all kinds of crazy shit about Bad Luck. Even Nittle Grasper, even your boss," Hiro enlightened.
"Tohma?" K replied, astounded.
Hiro nodded. "Haven't you ever come across this stuff?"
"No, I never really thought about fanfiction. What's this all about?" K insisted and came closer, "Get out of my chair."
Hiro hesitated.
"I can and will sit on you," K warned pleasantly.
In a flash Hiro leapt out of K's office chair and came around front. But he did steal his ashtray. "I don't think you're ready to enter the world of Bad Luck fanfiction or fanart," Hiro stated and parked half his rear at the front of K's desk.
"Gimme a break," K scoffed. He sat down in his chair, looking over at Hiro inquisitively.
"Oh, I mean it," Hiro informed, "I even came across doujinshi, some woman named Maki Something made a bunch of them called "Remixes". It stars all of us, except Sakano, poor guy. I wonder if he ever gets any lovin'. Actually, I'm not sure I want to know about that," Hiro muttered uneasily. "Personally K, I don't think you're ready."
A gun appeared, aimed at Hiro's head.
"Stop talking to me like a kid and just show me already. It gets boring doing paperwork all day and talking to dumbasses on the phone. Why do you think I do half of what I do? Shits and giggles Hiro, shits and giggles!" K batted his eyelashes innocently as he aimed the pistol at Hiro's lovely noggin.
Hiro stared at the gun, and then absurdly back at K…he sweatdropped
There was a moment of apprehension that came when showing someone else the wicked world of fanfiction and art, especially to a person unfamiliar with it, especially, if that person had never heard of 'yaoi'.
Hiro wasn't certain if K was unfamiliar with these things or not. Actually, now that he came to think of it, he really didn't know K at all.
Coming back around K's desk, Hiro leaned over him and tapped into K's terminal. "All you have to do is Google 'Bad Luck' and you'll be surprised. Of course there is our official website, fan-sites, blah, blah, blah. But I found this one fanfiction archive through a blog."
"Those online journal thingies?" K asked wondrously, catching Hiro's scent as he hovered in front of him.
"Yea, there's one entirely dedicated to us," Hiro admitted, blushing.
K's ears grew hot again, "Us?"
"Wanna see it?"
"Ok."
"They call it Gun and Guitar," Hiro told him, feeling as though he could die a billion times, like he'd jumped into the pool of sharks wearing a steak necklace. He watched K out of the corner of his eye.
Curious, K moved in closer, an enormous grin forming, his cheeks burning fiercely on his face. He took over the mouse and began to scroll over the site eagerly. "HA! They even have a mood theme of us," K said amicably. "Wow, I feel kind of flattered, weird too, but flattered. Oh look!" he pointed to the screen, "Pictures."
"I wouldn't click on those if I were you…" Hiro warned, remembering a particular Christmas portrait involving a candy cane, but K was already staring at them in turn.
The man was noxiously silent as he stared…click…stare…click…stare.
Feeling unsure, Hiro puffed on his smoke and felt his stomach knot. This was so strange looking at fan-porn with his manager! K would surely think him depraved, immoral… Perverted.
Dumbly, K's mouth hung open. He'd never considered himself shy, but now he felt completely flustered. Being paired with Hiroshi Nakano, K peeked over at him curiously. "So, this site is just about us, I wonder where these people got my information. Who's been watching us?! I knew there was stuff out there about Bad Luck that is expected with fame, but not me." He glanced back at picture of him strumming Hiro's guitar and then one with his derrière on display. "Hmm, they sure made my ass look good. And my hair!" He discovered another picture. "Whoa…I'm dressed as a girl!" K said with too much glee.
Hiro ran a hand over his face. K sounded like an excited little boy. He was taking this much better than he thought! "Why not, you're with us everywhere we go… You're a good looking guy even though you are a nut."
Warm blue eyes landed on Hiro then. The whole term of 'nut' just flew over K's proverbial blonde head. There wasn't a place for such things in K's world; he just went with the flow, shot the breeze. K was a man of more emotion that anyone would ever give him credit for, it was just that... He displayed it in a very different way.
Flustered, Hiro reached over with the intention of closing the browser. "I think you've had enough of that, eh? Crazy fan shit, what will they come up with next?" He huffed uneasily.
Only K placed his hand over Hiro's on the mouse. "Hey, I'm not finished! I haven't even read the stories or those remixes!"
As if burned, Hiro retracted his hand and wailed, "K! You can't be serious!"
"Of course I'm serious Hiroshi. Chill out, I'm not going to tell anyone your dirty little secret—correction, our dirty little secret. It's just fiction."
"Right, fiction. Well, I leave you to it then," Hiro said and got off the desk, heading for the door.
K stood up from his chair, "Aww, come on Hiro, stay."
"What about Shuichi and Suguru?" Hiro wondered, turning around.
"Shuichi's playing with Yuki and well, I dunno where Suguru went," K said thoughtfully.
"I see, um, can I ask? Why is there a rocket launcher in your office and a grenade tapped under your desk?" Hiro inquired.
"Precautionary measures," K said flippantly. He pulled up an extra seat, patting the cushion, eager for Hiro to come back.
Sighing, Hiro trod back over and sat.
Without realizing it, hours went by and something wonderful was happening—worlds collided. K and Hiro found they shared something in common other than their sexy long hair.
They were laughing and snickering together over fanfiction!
Work forgotten, both men left their embarrassment outside the door and ogled over words written about them. They were no longer adult males but boys simpering over their discoveries with such unabashed joy.
K even broke out his hidden arsenal of beer.
"You know, I suddenly have a serious fear of flying and a craving for pancakes and mangos," K declared, looking up from the computer screen.
Sitting back in his chair, Hiro shook his head and replied ironically, "Yeah only if I make them for you, because you know I make the best." Funny, how he sounded like he was boasting.
K smiled, his eyes crested happily. "I can't believe this stuff; my life has been altered to the ninth degree. I can't count the number of divorces I've had, the breakups you've had. And our hair—"
"—it's all about the hair," Hiro said with a wink.
"He-he, yeah, I guess we knew what we were doing," K said impishly.
Chicks dug the hair.
"But some of this stuff made me weepy," K revealed, "Especially when they write about my kid. I'm still having issues about that one. And they make you such an emotional drama queen…damn." He looked at Hiro seriously, "I know just the right people to hunt these authors down, and I could have them obliterated and put them on a deserted island!"
Hiro tilted his head knowingly at the blonde. "But it's not real, not even the time you wore that showgirl costume and did the can-can," he tossed in smartly.
K turned bright red. "Yeah, well you dumped me! What's a girl supposed to do, huh?!"
Hands on his belly, Hiro roared laughing.
"Say, do you wanna check out stories about Shuichi and Yuki now?" K questioned.
"Not really," Hiro said, "I kinda like our stories."
For some reason that gave K a strange fuzzy feeling, he glanced at Hiro who was also watching him back. Thump, thump, thump. He turned back to the screen and clicked on the review section on one of the K and Hiro stories. "Hey, look at the comments these people get, people are merciless."
Hiro looked over eagerly.
Gazoogirl
Zomg! You rock my socks! Kiro is the best, so fucking hot. Write MOAR plz!
Free My Butterfree
Please stop wasting our time with your crap! Do us a favor and STOP writing!
"Ouch," they said in unison and sipped on some beer.
"Totally unnecessary," muttered Hiro.
Spicy Marmalade
OMG!!!!! My underwear is stuck to my chair! d00d! that was the hottest lemon EVAR!!
"What's a lemon?" K asked bewildered.
"A sex scene, just as PWP stands for 'Plot? What Plot?' or 'Porn without Plot'," Hiro explained with a silly wave of his hand.
K stared at him, "I see I'm talking to the expert."
"Wikipedia (dot) com," Hiro instructed with a shrug, "It'll tell you everything."
Buzz. Buzz. "Mr. K, Seguchi-san is on line one."
K put a finger to his lips to shush Hiro and pushed a button on his desk phone. "Bossman!" he said cheerily as Hiro quietly pointed to a dirty picture where he was playing his guitar naked. K twittered silently and winked at him.
"What are you up to, K?" came Tohma's voice.
"Porn..."
Hiro gasped at K and swatted his arm viciously.
K paled and stumbled, "Horn! Oh gawd, I hear a horn coming from outside. Permission to stop it, sir?!"
"Denied," Tohma sighed. "I was calling to find out why you're still in your office? It's eight o'clock, go home already. Your secretary says you've locked yourself in there again, I do hope K-san that you are using NG's time appropriately?"
K peered dryly at Hiro and spoke, "Of course I am, Sir. Just crunching numbers, you know, tapping into the ol' smarts."
In the other chair Hiro was clutching his stomach from silent laughter pains.
K stuck his tongue out at him.
"Well alright then. I'm heading home myself, have a pleasant evening. Goodnight."
"G'night, K finished and disconnected the line. He looked at Hiro coolly, "Don't even say it."
"You told the boss you were looking at porn!" Hiro laughed, "Priceless!"
K waited patiently as Hiro calmed down enough to wipe away his tears. "I think we should leave NG soon," K said, but his eyes landed on something new. "Oooo look," K murmured and pointed at the screen, "A porn war…I bet I, no—we, could write great porn."
"Pshh, you've lost your mind," Hiro chuckled embarrassedly and shook his head.
"Look at this list." K flicked his finger off the screen. "It's pretty long."
Hiro peeked at the screen and raised his brows. There was a list of prompts, encouraging fellow 'Kiro' fans to write naughty stories. "Mermaids and Sleeping Beauty?" Hiro questioned with utter mystification.
K giggled and Hiro swatted him again. "Guys aren't supposed to giggle like that!" he cried.
"They can too!"
"You're enjoying this too much, K!"
"It's your fault!"
Hiro pouted, crossing his arms. So maybe it was… He spotted K smirking at him.
"Come on, you can't tell me that you weren't getting tingles reading the smut scenes?"
"I don't want to know about your 'tingles'!" Hiro bemoaned.
K pursed his lips in thought, "I see… You just don't have what it takes to write a fic, no balls."
What? Hiro's eyes flashed at K. "You don't know that Mr. One Nut."
K guffawed at the moniker. "Low blow Hiro, low blow… Aren't you at least curious what kind of writers we'd make? What kind of reviews we could get if we wrote one? I mean what would a 'Kiro' fic mean if it was written by the real deal? It'd be the biggest joke ever!" K leaned back and loosened his tie, watching Hiro closely.
Suddenly Hiro's mouth felt dry, "But that would mean… We'd have to…"
"Write dirty scenes Hiro," K put in mischievously. "So, it's just fiction, right?"
That was beginning to sound like a broken record.
"Yeah, just fiction," Hiro murmured in deep thought. This fanfiction business was so much fun. He'd never thought about writing a story of his own, never the less collaborate with K! Admittedly, they were a pretty hot couple in these series of Bad Luck literature, Hiro couldn't deny that. Looking over at K, he wondered what it might be like to really kiss the man.
But he caught his breath and his runaway thoughts. He had a girlfriend...
K studied Hiro. He wasn't sure what he was instigating really—writing fanfiction. It was a pretty heavy duty project to take on with a guy he barely hung out with, who probably got his jollies talking dirty with his girlfriend on the phone at night. But this had been one of the most enjoyable days he could remember. Life was for living and fun was K's middle name!
Sometimes, it got lonely in Japan when one's wife lived so far away…
Both men stared at each other, side by side behind K's office desk.
"Let's do it," Hiro spoke up first.
K let out a rush of air. "Ok, let's show these fangirls that men can write man smut too!" K encouraged once more.
Men who could write smut…Hiro liked the ring of that. It was so wrong, sinfully wrong, but it sounded like fun. He never knew that K could be so cool to hang out with. "Alright, but what would our story be about?" he wondered, he couldn't resist.
"What else?" K's lips curled into a naughty grin, "Sex."
Hiro smirked. "I can't believe I'm agreeing to this."
K shrugged, "Why not? It'll be fun."
"Have you written a story before, K?"
"Not really, but I have written love letters," K told him.
"You have?" Hiro realized his voice reached a higher pitch than normal. He restrained himself, "To your wife?"
Chuckling, K replied, "Of course. I can be a romantic guy, you know."
"I really had no idea," Hiro stated brazenly.
K ignored the jibe. "Haven't you ever written a girl a love letter before?" K couldn't believe he hadn't.
Hiro blushed now. "I tried once but then Shuichi put it into the wrong girl's locker and this strange chick stalked me for a whole year. It was hard to get another girlfriend after that," he said, scratching his head awkwardly, "It was back in highschool."
"I can't imagine," K said with bafflement.
"K, h-have you ever kissed a guy?" Hiro stammered. "I mean, you're talking about writing yaoi with me."
"Well then, I guess I must have kissed a guy before, huh?" K said with a spry look. "I suppose you have too, since the both of us have no qualms about attempting gay fanfiction."
"Yeah, but, did you like it?" Hiro asked curiously, moistening his lips and leaning over K to close the browser.
K inhaled Hiro's cologne again. It was musky, tantalizing. His eyes fluttered closed to signal out his sense of smell. "Yeah, but it was a long time ago," he murmured. "A life long ago that holds no relevance anymore," he added.
Hiro looked over at K, his face inches from his. "You know, I realized today that I don't know much about you," Hiro said softly, and K's blue eyes opened up to look at him.
Warm breath washed over his face. K stared at Hiro's slightly parted lips, "It's not all that interesting. But, maybe if you ask I'll tell you…"
The room had grown so quiet that Hiro could hear his stomach growling.
Amused and flustered huffs escaped them. Hiro stood up quickly and K got up to grab his jacket that hung on over the couch arm. They shook their heads ruefully.
"You must be hungry… I know I'm starving. We've been at this for hours," K reflected. "You wanna grab a bite to eat? I know a tiny place that makes the best American-style hamburgers in Japan. It's not very far from here, we could walk?"
"Greasy food?" Hiro smiled, "Sure, why not?"
"Ok, my treat," K declared and turned off his workstation. He grabbed his wallet and keys and turned off the main office light.
"Let me go grab my jacket too, it's in the studio," Hiro suggested, opening the door and stepping into the hall. K was right behind him. He turned, "So, what do we call our story? The Redhead and the Blonde? A Day Out with my Crazy Manager?"
K laughed, "Gee, thanks. Actually, I have a great title in mind." Hiro held his breath.
"K and Hiro Do America."
Hiro gaped. "That is the most perverted thing I ever heard!" he exclaimed. He grinned. "So wrong… So, so wrong… We're going to hell, K."
"Perhaps, but they'll love it!" K looked down at the front of Hiro's pants, "Ohh, I forgot to mention, your fly's open."
A/N: On to part two!