Kela Harrington
October 1, 2009
Sci Fi Version of "Does your Dog Bite" from Pink Panther
Sci-Fi Version of "Does Your Dog Bite?" from the Pink Panther
Luke Skywalker: (walks into a room on the U.S.S Enterprise ) My name is Skywalker, Luke Skywalker. Tell me, do you have any Valakas on this….."Enterprise"?
Checkov: ( I'm not very good at writing in a Russian accent but just imagine him talking with the accent anyway!) You're not a member of Starfleet are you?
Luke: Uh….
Intercom: Checkov, this is your captain speaking, we've just been confronted by 6 presumably hostile Klingon war birds! Report to the Bridge immediately!
(sirens come on)
Checkov: Oh, I better go-!
Luke: No wait dude, aren't you going to give me the keys to a Valaka?
Checkov: Valaka? I'm afraid I don't know what a Valaka is.
Luke: Well it's um-uh….(flips through dictionary)
(mutters) Gee where is it?
Spock: (walks in quickly) Checkov, your presence is needed at the Bridge.
Checkov: This new-comer needs a Valaka, Commander, but I don't even know-!
Luke: (snickers) What's with the ears?
Spock: (raises eyebrow, ignores Luke otherwise) I will see you at the bridge in approximately 47.986 seconds, or I'll send Scotty to alert you. (exits)
Luke: What was that , an elf?
Checkov: Hurry, I must leave!
Luke: Right, uh, do you have any cabins on the Enterprise?
Checkov: Cabins? Certainly! Why didn't you say so earlier?
Luke: That's what I've been saying the whole time you idiot!
Checkov: We don't use keys here. So I'll tell you the password to Cabin 216, when you get to the room type in the password on the lock remote outside the door and it should slide open instantly.
Luke: Okay…. So what's the password?
Checkov: (here's my try at writing the accent!) Nine nine seeven twelf one four seeven nine four tee eet.
Luke: Four-tee-eet?
Checkov: Fourtee eeeeet!
Luke: Dude, I don't get a word you're saying.
Checkov: Aak it's…. Four-tee-eht!
Luke: You mean forty-eight? Oh, thanks, I get it now- what the-!
Scotty: (runs in screaming with his maniacal Scottish accent) Pavel, what the bloody hell are you doing here!? We're going down! Shields reduced to 7.98%! The gravitational control is going haywire, there's an air leak in the hold, the warp engine's disabled, the electricity is out on Decks 11 to 14, and worst of all we're using up our last emergency photon torpedoes!
Luke: I've got a bad feeling about this….
Scotty: You should laddie! Because in a moment we'll all be blown sky high!
Luke: But we're in the sky.
Scotty: …… Hmm, on second thought you're right! (then shouts to Checkov) Move it Pavel, the Enterprise needs you NOW!!!
Checkov: Alright Skywalker, I'm off to the Bridge!
Luke: (turns around and comes face to face with a Wookie who had been in the room the whole time but wasn't noticed by anyone) Does you're Wookie bite?
Checkov: No….? (he hadn't noticed it there either.)
Luke: (walks up to Wookie) Hey there my name is-!
Wookie: GROOOOAAARRRR!!!
Luke: (freaks out and attacks Wookie with light saber) YAAAAAHHHH! I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOUR WOOKIE DIDN'T BITE!
Checkov: Well, that's not my Wookie!