My oldest and dearest friend, who currently sits next to me and scoffs at my "pathetic attempts at prose", has almost gotten me killed on eight separate occasions. Said friend has now also pointed out that on six of those occasions, she was the one to save my life, and that I shouldn't even bother keeping score because if we were truly friends, none of that would matter anyway because if we shared a real comradely bond, it would be about more than flesh and blood. She has also pointed out that I should shut it, and stop making her look bad.
How fortunate am I, to have such a wonderful and selfle-
"OW!"
"I said, SHUT IT."
"Ava, no one is going to be reading this anyway. It's a joke. Just something for you and me," I said, rubbing the sore spot on my head where I had been whacked.
"C'mon, you dog," my so-called friend said. "Let's head up on deck and see if we're almost to port yet." Ava scrambled up from where we were sitting and rushed out of the cabin.
"Hey—wait!" I hastily began to put away the pen, ink, and paper I had been using.
"Those who fall behind get left behind!"
"Hang the code," I grumbled, and followed her out the door.
"Don't let Teague hear that talk, Will," Ava said, sneaking up behind me.
I managed not to flinch, and turned around to glare. "Teague is addled."
Ava managed to fake insult, "Watch yourself, Mr. Turner, or I'll run you through." She drew her cutlass from the scabbard attached to her belt. "No one dare insult my family."
"None other than yourself, you mean," I smiled slyly, also drawing out my sword.
"Well, of course," Ava said, "After everything, I think I owe them a bit of abuse, eh?" She brought her sword up, and soon the cramped hall we were in was filled with the sound of metal on metal.
Soon we were both breathless, from laughter and exertion. I caught Ava's eye and noticed an all-too-familiar glint, the one I usually associated with her thinking of a really terrible plan, or some kind of my own misfortune.
I opted for the latter, and took a giant leap backwards as she feinted and swiped at my legs. Unfortunately, this step backwards landed me straight in a pile of crates, which crashed over and knocked down a lantern resting on top of them.
The noise, although not deafening, was loud enough.
Ava and I stared at each other, with her usual half-amused face, and me with my slightly horrified one.
"WILLIAM! AVA!"
"You know, it's times like these that I am grateful for not having one of those treacherously long names," Ava said, returning her sword to her scabbard and reaching out to help me up. "Imagine how much longer tongue-lashings would take?"
I didn't answer, for I heard the stomping of boots coming down the stairs and gulped. The Pirate King.