A/N: This is my first time writing for this particular fandom. I have nothing but love for The Flash and, more specifically, Iris. After watching the "Rupture" episode, I wanted to explore her feelings immediately after the accelerator explosion gone awry. I hope you enjoy this!
He's not gone, Iris told herself. He can't be gone.
Crouched in a corner of S.T.A.R. Labs where no one could touch her, Iris hugged her knees as tightly as she could. She sobbed to the brink of convulsion. She sobbed in hopes her tears would bring Barry back to her. She sobbed because life was so cruel towards love.
When she lost Eddie, she thought her world had shattered. But losing Barry—losing him just as she had pieced her world back together caused it to fall apart again. She wasn't sure if she could withstand rebuilding it a second time.
"What if something goes wrong? What if…" she asked him during their heart-to-heart. She should have seen it coming.
Just as she gave him half of her heart, just as she confessed to all the love she had for him, just as she grew ready to explore a future with him, Barry was snatched away from her.
Her intuition told her that Wells' machine was doomed. Even Zoom saw that it was a disaster.
She wanted to place the blame on Wells—just as her father did moments after Zoom's departure—but that wasn't in her nature. It wasn't Harry's fault. Barry offered to undergo the process; Harry simply constructed the machine.
She lifted her head up, letting it rest against the wall. Her expression grew bittersweet, a grin threatening to appear.
Barry was always thinking of the greater good, always sacrificing his well-being for the sake of others'. It was in his nature to be everyone's hero, even if it meant placing his life on the line. He never went a day without carrying the world on his shoulders.
Barry was the kind of man to keep moving forward, bringing his loved ones along with him. If he were still here, he would have sat beside her and asked her what was wrong. He would have consoled her and told her the words she longed to hear. He would have wiped her tears away and brought a smile to her face. Barry was the kind of man who would help her rise to her feet and take her hand for the sake of walking on.
After thinking about all the things Barry would do in the face of adversity, she wiped the last of her tears. By no stretch of the imagination was she ready to rebuild her world so soon, but Barry would have wanted her to try. (Hell, he had to rebuild his on multiple occasions.)
Because of him, she pushed herself to her feet and took small strides towards the door. Her footsteps grew less hesitant as she walked through S.T.A.R. Lab's cold, grey halls. Her concern shifted to how Wally and Jesse were doing after her father found them unconscious near the scene of the accelerator malfunction.
Iris found Cisco keeping watch over the two youths, their heart monitors beeping in the background.
"How are they?" she asked Cisco in a hushed voice.
"They're doing fine," he replied. "They're in stable condition."
"That's good," she said, a sigh following. At least two other fatalities were avoided tonight.
Cisco momentarily turned his attention to Wally and Jesse, touching the doorframe as he did so. He sharply inhaled and Iris rushed to his aid, propping him upright.
"Cisco, what's wrong? Are you okay?" she asked, quickly entering a frantic state. She couldn't bear to lose anyone else.
"I'm fine… I'm fine… I just—I vibed something," he said, not making eye contact with Iris yet.
"What is it?" she asked.
He turned towards her, with eyes full of hope and lips daring to grin. "I just saw Zoom somewhere with three speedsters."
Her heart skipped a beat. She glimpsed at her brother and Jesse before gazing at Cisco. Everything began to make sense. After all, Harry deduced that they were hit by the particle blast.
"Does this mean"—her voice choked up—"that he's still alive?"
"God, I hope so," Cisco said with gleamy eyes. "I really do."
She took a deep breath. "You should let everyone else know."
"I'm on it."
When he left to find the others, Iris found herself with renewed faith.
A tear ran down her cheek. He's not gone.