Thea Queen clasped her left hand over her mouth, a pose she had been using quite a bit lately, although this time it wasn't because she was about to throw up. Her legs shook beneath her, and she slid down the wall of her bathroom before they gave out beneath her completely.
Time seemed to have lost all meaning, and Thea had no idea how long she spent huddled on the cold tile floor of the bathroom, one hand over her mouth, the other trembling as she gazed, transfixed, at it, or rather the object she was holding with that hand. A fat tear rolled down her cheek, and she wiped it away with the back of her hand.
Closing her eyes, blocking out the sight of the object, Thea dropped her forehead onto her knees, groaning quietly to herself at her own stupidity. How on earth had she let this happen? They'd been careful…both of them knowing that their lives were too dangerous…too unpredictable, to risk something like this happening.
Now, if the pregnancy test she was holding in her hand was anything to go by, it had happened. She was pregnant…she was going to be a mother, and her boyfriend, Roy, was going to be a father.
Thea's heart clenched fearfully as she thought about what Roy did every night…serving Starling City as one of its protectors…the vigilante known as Arsenal. Thea knew how much protecting Starling City meant to Roy…she understood his loyalty to her brother Oliver and the rest of their team…Felicity, Diggle and Sara, but, as she sat on the bathroom floor, Thea realized that she, without even thinking about it, had rested her hand over her abdomen, where their child was only just beginning to grow and develop.
The idea of their child losing his or her father before they'd even been born terrified Thea. She knew the pain of losing a father all too well, but she hated the idea of Roy never getting the chance to meet their child because of how he spent his evenings.
Ever since Oliver had told her about his vigilante life…since Roy had told her about how involved in everything she was Thea had experienced nightmares…of walking into the basement of Verdant and finding Oliver dead on the metal table used for medical procedures…or of Oliver knocking on her bedroom door and telling her that something had happened to Roy. Thea had lost count of the number of times she'd woken up screaming, only calmed when Roy had held her in his strong arms, reassuring her that everyone was fine…that nothing bad had happened.
Thea startled violently when she heard the distant sound of her apartment door opening, a soft, gentle voice calling her name. A smile flickered across Thea's face. She honestly couldn't be happier for Oliver that he'd found Felicity. They were perfect for one another…if only they'd realize it.
When Oliver's inner darkness threatened to overwhelm him Felicity could always bring him back to the light. She had that affect on everyone, if Thea was honest with herself. Felicity was the shining light that they all fought to protect, the innocence that they wanted to preserve in the world.
That wasn't to say that Felicity wasn't dangerous in her own way. Thea knew that everyone…even her biological father Malcolm, had a healthy respect for what Felicity could do to you if you threatened those she was closest to. Sara hadn't held back in her admiration for the hacker when she'd told Thea and Nyssa about the time Felicity had taken a bullet for Sara before she'd knocked a guy out using his own virus.
"Thea…are you in there…are you ok?" Felicity called through the bathroom door, knocking on the wood gently. Thea swallowed, her mouth suddenly dry.
"Felicity," she croaked out, "come in,"
The door swung open and revealed Felicity standing in the doorway, dressed comfortably, as if she'd just come from the Arrow Cave, as Roy and Felicity jokingly called it. Thea glanced at her watch, having not realized how late it was. She'd gone into the bathroom to take the pregnancy test immediately after Oliver, Roy, Felicity and Diggle had left her apartment for Verdant. Usually she went with them, but she'd begged off with being tired and having an early morning meeting, and Roy and Oliver had been more than happy to leave her behind so she would feel better. Now though, it was passed midnight, and Felicity was here in Thea's home…which meant the boys wouldn't be far away.
"Thea…Thea what's wrong…are you okay…Are you sick…I can call Roy and Oliver and get them to come straight home…they were talking about just training for a bit before calling it a night, but if you need them then I'm sure they'll come." Felicity gasped, dropping to her knees in front of Thea and immediately beginning to check Thea for a fever or any other signs of illness.
Thea shook her head, "I'm…I'm fine, Felicity."
"What's going on?" Felicity asked rocking back out of Thea's personal space. It was then her eyes fell on the little white stick in Thea's hand, her eyes widening as she reached p to adjust her glasses, just to make sure she was seeing correctly.
"Ohhh…is that what I think it is?" she asked after a moment.
"Yeah…it is," Thea nodded, her own gaze dropping back to the pregnancy test, the little blue plus sign just as clear as it was initially.
"And…it's positive?"
"Yeah…Oliver's going to be an uncle."
"You're going to be a mom," Felicity corrected, reaching into Thea's personal space once again. Thea tensed minutely, her own recent training regime making her uncomfortable with people being so close, but she relaxed when Felicity's arms wrapped around her in a reassuring hug.
"Congratulations, Thea…I'm so happy for you…you're going to be a great mom…or, um, actually, maybe not the best thing to say…this is a good thing, right? Are we treating this like it's a good thing?"
Thea shrugged, "I've always wanted to a have a baby…but our lives are so…" she faded off, not knowing the best word to describe their unique situation.
"Unpredictable? Dangerous? Uncertain?" Felicity suggested.
"All of the above," Thea nodded, "I can't risk brining a baby into all of this…craziness."
"Dig and Lyla have…and so far that's going okay," Felicity offered reassuringly, and Thea had to concede that Felicity had a point.
"I'm just scared that something will happen to him…or her. I've lost both of my parents, and I thought I'd lost my brother…I can't go through losing a child as well…and what about Roy? He's never told me anything about his family…and if he ever wants to have children himself."
"Thea I am far from an expert when it comes to love, but even I can see how much Roy loves you…how much he'd love your children. He loves playing with Arabella; I think he'd make a good father. You should tell him about this…unless you're thinking about…" Felicity faded off, but Thea knew what she was implying.
"I don't think I'd ever be able to do that," she told Felicity, "not with what we'd gone through it's just…with everything that's going on right now it'd going to be dangerous for everyone. My baby will be Roy's child, Oliver's niece or nephew, and Malcolm Merlyn's grandchild. They're never going to be safe."
"We'll find a way around it." Felicity told her firmly.
"I'll have to tell them soon…very soon. I can't risk training like I have been, not now, and I'll need to go to my doctor to confirm that I am actually pregnant and it's not a false positive."
"Do you think it could be a false positive?' asked Felicity curiously. Thea considered it for a moment, before she shook her head.
"No…I think I knew I was pregnant even before I took the test. I feel…different, and all of the symptoms match up, from what I've heard. I'm tired, I've been throwing up lots, mostly in the mornings, my period is late, which is uncommon, but I just thought I was stressed, and my boobs have felt weird."
"Sounds like being pregnant to me, from what I've read," Felicity nodded. Thea gave the other woman an assessing look.
"Are you?' she asked.
Felicity choked, "Me, no, God no. Aside from the fact that I haven't slept with anyone in years, which you don't need to know, I don't think it's possible to find someone that would be interested in having a family with me when I spend most of my time in the basement of a nightclub helping vigilantes save the city."
Thea scoffed at Felicity's comment, thinking immediately of Oliver and the smile that being around Felicity always put on his face, the way his eyes would rest on her, follow her around the room, when he thought no one was watching. Thea had had her suspicions about the pair long before she'd left Starling City to train with Malcolm, but now she'd had some training it was even more painfully obvious.
"If you don't want to tell Roy yet, I'll go to your doctor's appointment if you want, for moral comfort or something like that," Felicity offered, "we could go out for lunch afterwards, make a day of it."
"I'd like that. I'm glad you're around, Felicity." This time it was Thea who initiated a hug between the two women, although Felicity returned it eagerly. Thea smiled to herself as Felicity ran her fingers through Thea's short hair. Felicity might not be dating Oliver (yet) but she still felt more like Thea's sister than anyone else Oliver had ever shown an interest in.