hi. this is a lot darker than i intended it to be, but i guess i'm just in a really scary mood right now &i'm so intrigued by this concept. everyone's always writing about the popular kids as if they're gods and get what they want. i've attempted to switch it around, but i really don't know if it worked.

i'd update my other story but i need to feel in order to do that. i haven't been in the mood to write that and alicia seems to have disappeared for a while. she'll come back soon.

review this please?

i didn't know what to put this under so the genres might be way off. also, this is rated as strong a T as you can get without having to change to M.

-behind the scenes we lose our masks,

our true selves come out.. at last.

[AU. Kristen Gregory's suicide note, stained with blood and smelling of rust, did not only explain the reasons for her untimely death- it unveils the real definition of those we look up to, of those we revere: The A-list.]

Dear.. everyone,

I don't want you guys to think you had anything to do with my death. I know what you're thinking. I couldn't have done anything to this girl- she was one of my best friends! Well, you're completely wrong there. You were my best friends. You caused this. It is ALL YOUR FAULT. I want you to know that- I want you to keep that in mind as you read this.

I couldn't take the taunts anymore, the lies, the rumors you spread about me. Every day at school, I'd walk in and people would just.. stop. And stare. No, it wasn't because I was popular. They glared at me, called me names, spit. It was disgusting, to say the least. It wasn't my fault you guys decided to hate me one morning. I did nothing to you.

And now it's all your fault I'm dead.

I hope you're happy- this is what you wanted, right? I'm not going to mention any names but YOU said that to me: You told me everyone would be happier if I were dead. Well, you got your wish.

The A-List, my friends, is not what you think it is. It's not exclusive parties and glamorous clothes. It's nothing of the sort. You don't get what you want because you're popular, rich, famous. Scratch out the famous part, actually; the only people who are semi-famous are Massie Block and Alicia Rivera- their fathers bust their asses every day in order to be successful- and Dylan Marvil, with her pathetic mother. Anyway, The A-List? I can tell you who they really were. A group of incredibly fucked up kids who knew the right people and the ways of intimidation. There's nothing special about them. They're just like you. Or, even better, YOU'RE better than them.

Here. I'll show you why.

The Queen Bee – she knows when her kingdom is crumbling. She's known even before you noticed the whispers and what does she do? Fix it, like a good Queen Bee. Good doesn't even cut it. She couldn't fix it by being her bitchy self.. so she fixed it in a different way. Yes. She's what you would call a slut, a whore. Every guy you know, she's fucked. Just to stay on top. Not so perfect now, are we?

The Goodie Two Shoes – this is the biggest lie on the planet. She pretends to be something she's not when really, she gets her kicks by hitting up the nearest bars, get piss-ass drunk and do as many drugs as possible. Her family's just as screwed up as she is- her mother and father own that house up the block.. you know the one I'm talking about; everyone's had their first time there. How did we let someone like this in our town?

Daddy's Little Girl – she promised Daddy Dearest that she would never turn into one of them. Yet, she was the first one who joined The A-List back when they were in middle school. Daddy has no idea that his little princess isn't as innocent as he thinks. Hey, Dad? Why don't you go check out that strip club downtown. Apparently your baby thinks it's "totally in" right now.

The Slut – guess what? She's not even a slut, she's just weird. She's wild, she's got no idea what's going on half the time. Sure, she's considerably normal compared to her friends, but she's got her own problems. She can't stay with one guy. Not even if she loves them. Sorry, boyfriend, but you have to understand. The weird thing is.. he's perfectly fine with her staying with him and screwing with all of his best friends.. um?

Big Man On Campus – nope, he's not dating Queen Bee, just to be clear. He's with another one of these "lovely" ladies. He's not even a ladie's man. He'd rather stick with one girl- which he is. Boys, however, come and go as they please because, as he's said in conversation, "they just seem to understand his needs better than any girl could." Mmm, too bad you can't get your best friend to settle those needs of yours, big boy.

The Next Big Thing – you've seen him around, plays guitar, drums, piano, any other instrument that might get him somewhere in the future. He's depressed. Apparently. Never bothered to question much, never cared. He's got his step-sister wrapped around his finger. They're a bit too close, if you ask me.. I've seen them together at home, at parties- their parents don't even seem to care. He blames his depression. I think he's crazy.

The Jerk – no, I'm not going to say he's not a jerk. He is. He might charm you one second, but the next he could be screaming at you for having one small imperfection. No one he's found is perfect enough for him, and sorry if you think you're the one. You're not. He's got a little problem here, he's a male prostitute. Weren't expecting that, were ya?

Mr. Romantic – he literally studies every romance movie to get things perfect and yet.. he's never into it. Maybe it's his hormones, maybe it's the girl, or maybe it's because he's not who he says he is. He's constantly hiding the one secret that might send him straight to the slammer. I can tell you it- he confided in me. He's the one who killed his baby sister. And just wait. It gets better: He dreams of killing you.

The Man-Whore – the Queen Bee's semi-equivalent, although he's more public than she'll ever intend to be. One problem. He's only slept with about four girls in the grade. He's hot enough for girls to make up stories and he lets them. It brings his popularity up and with each story, he becomes more of a rebel than ever. The best part? He's trying to set his parents up for child abuse. And if you've ever seen them, you'd know that they'd never lay a hand on their little boy.. or would they? You never know with that father of his..

Why am I telling everyone their secrets? They were my best friends. Yes. Were. Past tense. I made one simple mistake- everyone does. A mistake that is so innocent compared to theirs. If you haven't heard, I got drunk, had sex, got pregnant. There. Was that so bad? Sorry I was unable to cleverly hide my secret. You all seem to have that down. I got an abortion, you guys, I went back to living my normal life. You just continued to make me miserable. And that's why I'm telling your stories. I've written them down, I've spied on you. Ever since you kicked me out in the beginning of the year, I've slowly been planning your demise.

Yes, I've planned my own death. I've had it planned for years. I'd rather die young and beautiful than old and ugly- you just sped it along, added to my misery with your taunts and teases. But it doesn't matter anymore because after I'm dead, you'll be known for your scandalous lives, not just because you're pretty or popular or the best athlete in the school. And that gives me the greatest pleasure in the world- sick, I know. Maybe I am as crazy as they say I am.

Goodbye.

Kristen Gregory.