Disclaimer: I do not own Castle.
This was written from a prompt from Castle Fanfic Promps blog and was written for CastleFanficMonday
Prompt: Beckett was held captive by Nieman for a month, after having her hearing damaged caused by an explosion & temporary blindness caused by Nieman, she didn't know she was rescued die to the sick games 3XK played, and as an emotional response she wasn't talking.
Breaking through the locked door she was the first thing he saw. So still and quiet, like she hadn't even heard that they had entered. She was still tied to that god damn table, unmoving and small. His heart raced as he rushed towards her. His feet almost tripping over themselves as he propelled his body towards her without thinking about his own safety. He ripped the straps from her thighs and stomach off her before working to free her feet and wrists. She wasn't responding to his touch. Even as her name fell repeatedly from his lips, she didn't move to show any sign to acknowledge his existence and that she had in fact noticed him. Instead she lay frozen on the table. Silent and unmoving. He never knew Kate to be unmoving. Never. Even in her sleep her eyes or nose would twitch adorably so or she would shift slightly.
His fingers worked quickly at releasing her from her bonds before cupping her face gently. It broke his heart to see her shrink away from his touch. Her face grimaced as his fingers traced her cheek line and slipped the gag from her mouth.
She didn't respond to him. Her eyes wandered the ceiling and he wondered what the hell that psychotic doctor had done to her.
It took them a while to move her off the table. Even when her limbs were free she refused to move, her bleeding fingers clinging to the metal for dear life as he tried to convince her that it was ok to let go. Eventually, Castle and Ryan managed to guide her off the table and towards the awaiting ambulance. Castle tried to hold her and whisper reassurances in her ear that she was safe, but she didn't respond. Her eyes didn't focus on him but instead stared aimlessly at the ceiling. She jumped at the slightest touch, shrinking away from anyone that tried to come into contact with her. All Castle could do was sit and watch as the woman he loved shied away from anyone that tried to help her.
God what had they done to her?
Temporary hearing loss and partial blindness the doctor called it, or something to that effect. Rick had stopped listening as soon as he saw Kate try and fight off the young nurse who was attempting to take her blood pressure. He was by her side in an instant, holding her hand and telling her that everything was ok and that she was going to get better. He had been without her for three weeks, almost four, and every hour they had spent apart had ripped him apart just that little bit more. But this? This was something he hadn't planned on. She was there, his wife, Kate. She was right in front of him, alive and breathing right before his eyes, but at the same time, it was not Kate. She didn't respond how he thought she would, he couldn't tell her everything would be alright because she couldn't hear. The doctor explained that it was probably from a loud explosion. To Castle that didn't matter, she couldn't hear, that was his only concern. But it would return in a week or so. He held onto that fact. The Doctor told him that the blindness was temporary, and that she was able to make out some shapes or outlines. Once again the doctor couldn't pinpoint exactly what had caused it. However three weeks with two psychopaths left much to the imagination, and Castle didn't want to know the extent of the trauma they had inflicted on his wife. That might truly shatter him. Watching her live with the repercussions was torture enough. He did not need a play by play of what Kate had actually gone through. His writer's mind could fill in the gaps and take care of the details.
It was temporary, it was all temporary he reminded himself. But the fact that she wasn't talking, nobody could explain.
She still hasn't said a word. Even when they arrived home it was like she was a zombie. Every time he touched her she flinched away. Her body defending itself from the touch that she couldn't see. He had no way of explaining to her that Tyson and Nieman were dead, or that she had been rescued. All he could do was pray that deep down she knew it was him. She resisted at first, weary of where he was leading her, before allowing herself to be lead to wherever they were going. This wasn't his wife, his strong and beautiful wife who would fight for anything, was now a shell of a person, scared and alone, trapped in a world that Tyson controlled.
She didn't look at him, even when he sat directly in front of her, held her hand and told her she was safe, she still didn't properly look at him.
He guided her to the bedroom to lie down. The doctors had finally released her from the hospital on his promise that she would rest. Her sight and hearing would return within a week, her voice however was something they could not determine. There was no medical explanation about why she suddenly could not speak. They would just have to hope that with time, her voice, like her other senses would return.
She lay rigid on the bed, never allowing herself to relax completely as Castle moved around the room and got ready for bed himself. He didn't know what to do, he had no idea how to show her that she was safe. He thought that by bringing her back to the loft it would remind her of everything she loved, but instead it seemed to shock her even more. He had asked Martha and Alexis to stay at a hotel for a few nights, just until things settled. Although it may help to have her family around, the Doctor also warned him about over stimulation, and right now, for her to be in a room full of people that she couldn't see or hear would push her recovery back even further.
Rick glanced at his wife. She was resting on her side, her legs curled up to her chest and her hands clasped underneath her chin. He helped her change into her favourite pyjamas, even changed the bedding to the red silk one she loved so much. Anything to make her feel at home again.
He climbed into the bed. Lying on his side to face her back. She looked so small. Three weeks of being at the mercy of Jerry Tyson, it was no wonder he could see the bones of her shoulders and the prominent slope of her waist. He calmly pulled the covers up to her shoulders, as if the blanket would protect her against everything she was experiencing. She didn't move, didn't respond to his softest touch as his hand skimmed her shoulder. He wanted to hold her, tell her how much he loved her and that in a few days she should be back to how she was before. But he couldn't. There was no way of knowing what she could see or hear. The doctors had mentioned that she would be able to make out light sources, but every time he turned a light on she squinted and shied away as if it hurt her too much to look straight at it.
He leaned into her as close as he dared, not wanting to scare her, but needing to feel her warm presence next to him that he had missed for so long.
"Kate" he whispered gently. He knew she couldn't hear him, but he wasn't going to sit in silence whilst he wife lay terrified in front of him. "Honey. It's me. It's Rick." He could feel the tremble in his voice as he spoke. He had dreamed of this moment, getting her back and holding her but this was never what he imagined. "You're safe here honey, you're home. Remember these pyjamas? You once told me that they are your favourite pair because you like how the silk feels on your skin. And these sheets? You told me you wanted to add more colour to the bedroom, something we both liked, remember? I wish I'd bought some flowers, but you're better at choosing them than me. I love it when you come home with a new bunch for the bedside table."
He promised himself he would buy her some, maybe the smell would remind her of home, and help her realise that she was no longer in that clinic of a prison. He watched her breathing in and out rhythmically. He wasn't going to sleep tonight, he would stay awake and make sure she was safe. He would make sure that she was still lying so perfectly next to him, even if she couldn't respond to him yet.
It was around 4am when he felt a slight shuffle next to him. He had been drifting off to sleep when he felt the covers shift slightly. His eyes flew open at the movement, just in time to catch her trying to get out of bed. She was unsteady on her feet, using her hands to guide her into a standing position and feel around for the wall to guide herself.
He was out of bed and by her side before he even thought about how she would react. He held her softly, one arm around her waist, another taking her hand and holding her steady. She froze as soon as she felt him near her. Squeezing her eyes shut and tensing her body as if to prepare herself for whatever was to follow - whatever Tyson or Nieman would usually do when they caught her trying to escape.
He didn't know what to do, his hands felt awkward and clammy, like he was holding a stranger.
"It's ok Kate, you're at home" he reminded her, and then remembered that she couldn't hear a word he was saying.
She thrashed in his arms, trying to get away from him, turning her body so that she spun out of his embrace and into the wall at the side of the bed. He let her go. He wasn't about to hold her down when she had spent weeks receiving the same treatment from two psychopaths. He could only watch as she moved against the wall, balancing herself as she did so. Her eyes were wide open but he knew she couldn't see anything, instead she was using her hands to find safety somewhere.
She continued to move, like a lion circling its prey until she came to the gap in the wall where the bathroom was. She stood up straight, no longer having the wall to rely on as she reached her hands in front her of as a way to defend herself.
He couldn't let this go on. He needed her to know she was safe with him. As slowly as he could he reached out and took her hand, just softly, hardly applying any pressure as he curled his large fingers are her slim cold hand. He kept looking at her eyes, determined that even if she couldn't see him, he hoped she knew that he was with her.
If only she would talk, maybe then he would have a chance to know where on earth she thought she was. It was clear she didn't feel safe, but if he knew where she thought she was, he would have a chance of proving to her that she was in their home.
He began to circle his thumb around the top of her hand. The same motion they used when they first started out together, it was a way to tell each other how much they wanted to kiss each other but couldn't. He longed to kiss his wife. Kiss away the bruises that marked her body, kiss away her fears that she was still with Tyson, that he hadn't come to rescue her and that she was still at the mercy of a sadistic doctor. He wanted to kiss her and tell her that he loved her.
Her hand twitched beneath his, a small movement of recognition as she began to gently circle her thumb on his palm.
He watched her closely. She was still weary, her shoulders still hunched up and her stance showing that she was ready to bolt any moment. But she didn't. She let him hold her hand and guide her back to the bed.
He helped her lie down again and then moved to sit at the side of her. Even though she wasn't speaking, couldn't see or hear anything he did or said, she was still his Kate and he knew she was exhausted. She didn't put up a fight when he eased her into bed, a sign he hoped meant that she knew deep down that it was him she was with.
She was peaceful the rest of the night, in fact she barely moved, even when he shuffled towards her , his body drawn to her in such a natural dance that they had perfected over the years. But this time she didn't move, she lay there silently, curled on her side, waiting for the morning to come.
The morning sun that came bursting through the blinds usually woke her early, but today she slept until late morning. He couldn't bring himself to wake her, not when she was sleeping so peacefully. For the rest of the night she had been peaceful, sleeping soundly as her breathing evened out and her body relaxed into their soft bed. He knew it wouldn't last. As soon as she was awake he expected her to fight him again. He didn't blame her, for all she knew she was still at the hands of Tyson and Nieman, she couldn't see that it was him, and she couldn't hear his voice when he whispered in her ear and told her that he loved her.
Propping himself up he grabbed his IPhone and began googling symptoms, yes it wasn't the most accurate thing to do, but at the same time it felt better than watching his wife shrink away from him in fear. Most of his searches were futile, until he found one about a trauma victim who refused to talk as an emotional response. That had to be it. If Tyson and Nieman were taunting her and doing God knows what else to her, then the one way she may have survived and kept her sanity was to not speak to them. It made sense. She would be able to block them out, imagine they were not there and take herself somewhere else. However now she was home and he needed her to know that it was ok to talk again, that she didn't need to protect herself any longer because he would be there to do that.
He felt her jolt into consciousness beside him, making him quickly put down the phone in favour of taking her hand.
"Kate it's ok, it's me" he soothed, she might not be able to hear him, but that didn't mean he wasn't going to stop talking to her. "You're safe here Kate, you're home" he reminded her, continuing to run his thumb over the back of her hand.
She didn't pull away, instead he watched as she visibly relaxed under his touch and settled back under the covers, closing her eyes once more. He let her drift back to sleep, he knew she was exhausted and sleep would help speed her recovery. The doctor had told him it would be up to a week before her sight and hearing returned to a good level at least, but only then would they be able to assess for any further damage.
He watched her for a few more minutes before leaving the bedroom and heading to the bathroom. After showering and shaving he returned to the bedroom to find Kate propped up in bed, the blanket clutched in the hands as her feet twitched under the covers. It was then he noticed her wedding ring was still missing. He had it. He'd had it since the day they found the body of the woman who looked like Beckett. He took it out of the small trinket box that he kept on the shelf and returned to sit on the bed with her.
Her body went ridged but she didn't move away from him. Once again he took her hand and gently placed her wedding ring back on her finger, settled so perfectly in its rightful place.
"Kate. I love you, I've always loved you. Please come back to me" he sobbed softly.
He continued to stare down at their joined hands, their wedding rings pressed so tenderly together. He wanted his wife back. He wanted Kate back.
The soft yet shaky hand that caressed his face came as a surprise but he forced himself to remain still. His eyes flicked up to watch her face, her eyes were closed as if she was focusing all her thoughts on her sense of touch.
She slowly stroked down the side of his temple and down his cheek. Towards the slope of his nose and around the corner of his mouth, then down towards his chin. Her thumb brushed over his smooth skin and back up towards his soft lips. She was memorizing him, making sure she captured each of his features by skimming her fingers back to trace the familiar pattern.
A tear rolled down his cheek as he watched his wife trace the lines of his face. She gently brushed it away, before pulling her hand higher to run her fingers through his hair. Her touch was gentle and loving and everything he had missed about her for the past few weeks.
"Castle?" she breathed, the uncertainty evidence in her voice. One word that she had finally had the courage to say.
Castle nodded slowly, allowing her to feel his movements.
"It's me Kate. You're home"
"Castle" she repeated, more certain this time.
He reached for her hand, lowering it down to his chest to rest on his heart beat. The steady thud as his heart raced at the thought that she finally knew who he was. His other hand; still linked with hers, moved to her face, to gently caress the lines of her cheekbones. His fingers were rougher, years of writing till the early hours of the morning had caused calluses on the tips of his fingers, a unique symbol to prove it was him. It was a part of him, a part that she loved about it, a part that gave her no doubt that she really was home.
They stayed that way for a few more hours, gently drinking in the touch of one another. Lying together, knowing that they were with each other and that it was more than enough for now.
Over the next few days they would spend time sitting together. Castle bought her some flowers for her side of the bed and gave her back her father's watch. He was her eyes and ears for four long days before finally one morning Kate woke early and turned towards Castle.
"Castle?" she asked, uncertain at what had woken her. Without sound or light, she had been sleeping until the late morning almost every day. So when the sound of New York traffic had woken her, she knew something was different.
"Kate" he mumbled, his voice still laced with sleep. "Kate, it's ok, I'm here" he comforted, grasping her hand and circling her palm, a notion they had grown accustomed to doing every morning.
"Castle. I can hear you" she whispered, her voice soft and delicate, as if she feared that talking too loudly would force her into a world of silence again.
"Kate, you can hear me?"
"Yes. I can hear your voice."
"Can you see me?"
"No. But it's lighter. And I can hear you. I can hear your voice Rick" a smile spread across her lips.
She might not be fully recovered yet, but she was well on her way there.
The next few days were long, but at least they could have conversations now. Neither of them mentioned Tyson, neither wanting to set back her recovery by dragging up the past. She would sit in his arms and he would read to her, all the stories of Nikki and Rook, and even some new material he had worked on before this mess of a case reared its head.
It wasn't until the eighth day after her rescue that she finally was able to see him again.
They were eating dinner together on the couch, a homemade pizza that Castle had made and Kate was currently tucking into. The doctors had told her to eat lightly for the first few days, especially after not knowing what she had been eating for the past few weeks. But now that she was recovering she was able to eat whatever she wanted.
She thought it was just her mind playing tricks on her again, she had been able to make out light sources and some larger objects for the past few days but detailed objects and faces were still lost on her.
Rick had been guiding her through the loft and helping her with whatever she needed. It had been hard for both of them. Kate wasn't used to relying on someone so heavily for daily tasks and he wasn't used to intruding on her private matters. But they were partners and together they made it work. He had tried to keep the atmosphere light, never pushing her to talk about what happened or breach the subject of her sight, because he knew it would return, it would just take time.
Lifting his head he took in her face, it was only then that he noticed the soft tears rolling down her cheeks. She hadn't cried yet, as much as he thought she would have done, until now she had managed to hold them back. But now the dam was broken and the tears were flowing freely. He was at her side in seconds, holding her hand and cupping her face, making sure that he was as close to her as possible so she knew it was really him.
"Shhh, Kate don't cry. You will get better I promise you" he soothed in her ear.
"Castle" she whispered and shifted so she was looking at him.
He gazed into her eyes, expecting them to be lost and staring ahead of him rather than taking in his appearance. He couldn't have been more relieved when he saw her actually looking at him. Her pupils were fixed on his, never shifting back and forth and instead were solely focused on the piercing blue of his eyes.
"Kate? Can you?"
"Yes" she breathed. "Yes, I can see you"
"You can see me?" he asked in disbelief.
"When you're this close. I can see you"
"Thank God" he whispered, before pulling her into his arms.
He refused to let go, only when he felt her relax into his did he finally feel that he could look at her again. He continued to look into her eyes, to finally see his wife again, alive and well was all he had dreamed of for so long now.
They went to bed early that night, each content to be in each other's arms. They didn't speak about Tyson or Nieman, no that conversation would be saved for another day. They also didn't talk about her recovery and what implications it would have on her job in the near future. Instead, tonight was about reconnecting, about finding their solid ground together.
Together, they would find their way home.
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