Hey all. This is just a one shot of how Adrian feeling and thinking while getting the means together so Rose could go after Dimitri. Spoiler for those people who hasn't read shadow kissed.

Disclaimer... i do not own these characters the amazing richelle mead does sadly but give her credit

everyone who has read the series want a Dimitri or in my case an Adrian too =]

I couldn't believe to what Iav just agreed too. I stood up and walked into the bathroom and looked back to the love of my life, 'my little dhampir'. She still looked the same well body wise with curves that any women would die for, sun kissed skin, long dark brown hair that waved down to the middle of her back and those deep brown eyes that i always got lost in but she had changed. You could see it in those eyes and the way her face was set. Since the love of her life Dimitri, was taken away by the Strigoi after a search party went out to find other moroi and dhampir after St Vladimir was attack by them. Rose has not been the same and it was only a week ago that it happen. Today was her 18th birthday and I knew what she was going to do this day, drop out of the academy and go after him to kill him because she thinks its the last thing she should do for him. Since that day her eyes have been so cold they basically looked like glass eyes and she's worn the same expression on her face since. It was hard and showing no emotion at all, even my obnoxious flirting and bantering with her hasn't even gave her lips a slight curve, to the point she hasn't even retaliated back whenever Iav tried to get a normal responses from her.

I closed the door of my bathroom to block out the view of Rose and so she couldn't hear was i was about to do. I punched in the number on my mobile phone that I knew to well. After the third ringing tone they answered. " What can i do for you today Mr Ivashkov?"

" well if you could," I really didn't want to do what im about to do but i wanted to make sure at least Rose didn't have to worry about things while she was away, "can i open up a joint account?"

" Of course Mr Ivashkov, how much would you like to go in there and what should I put down for the second account holder?"

now this really put me off guard but a slight smile played on my lips. I know this is going to be childish but I want to make sure, she knew, she always had me and plus I like the sound of her being called this.

" can you exchange £2 million from my personal account to the joint account and the second account holders name will be Mrs Ivashkov could you all so make sure the balance can only be read by me and over the phone."

i must of sounded sort of excited or amused as the bank manager said " oh i didn't know you were married."

i nearly choked at the thought because I knew I could of settled down with Rose gave her everything she could of want but NO! She had to chose that useless Dhampir over me and he couldn't even protect himself from a strigoi attack and that's what he trained for. Why couldn't he leave her alone.

" oh im not just yet in a few weeks time just getting everything set up." I lied as much as I wanted it to be true, " how long until the account is set up and running?"

" it is all sort for use now Mr Ivashkov."

" right, I'll send my fiancée down this afternoon to pick up the cards. Thank you"

I put the phone down before I even waited for a reply. I choked back a sob because I knew deep down she wouldn't becoming back and she wouldn't be able to fill her promise to me. Even all this vodka and whiskey hasn't touch the sides because as I opened up the bathroom door, Rose's aura was black but unlike before it was bigger it almost invaded the whole room but within it you could see a few other colours, green, blue and even abit of pink. Well green was for envy, she's probably been sucked into lisa's head again, blue was for despair, no need to explain that one and pink which was confusing me. Pink was for love but it was only a small spot of it there but it was lingering infront of her heart. I cocked my head to the side to try and get a proper look at her aura and she just starred at me. I just carried on walking back to my chair

" its all been sorted go to this place at this time and there will be more there"

i handed her the piece of paper with the banks address on and when to get it. Before she could say another word I walked into my bedroom and opened up my safe. I pulled out enough money so she thinks there wasn't much in the bank account. I chucked it all into a gym bag and walked back towards my little dhampir trying hard not to show how much this was pulling at my heart helping her like this, knowing ill never get anything in return. I handed over the bag to Rose,

" right there's enough here to last you until you get to the bank." i slouched back into my chair and pour a glass of whiskey again, i knocked it back and quickly lit a cigarette.

" thank you Adrian you don't know how much this means to me" she said as she lent down and hug me.

Now that hurt not physically but mentally. I knew how much it meant to her. I've giving the means to go out and do what she thinks is right by him, but what about me. This was killing every single last bit of my heart known this, knowing the fact Lisa is going to kill my arse for helping her go and im going to have to live with the fact for the rest of my pitiful life that if Rose dies it was all my fault and no-one else's.

" just make sure you come back to me." is all i could string together at this point I couldn't even look into her glazed over eyes as I said that.

" I will" is all she said as she walked to the main doors and out of my life knowing deep down she was ling to me.

I slowly slouched more into my chair trying to forget what Iav just done and what is going to happen once it all came out. I was the only person who knew what Rose was about to do and all i could do is sit her, drink more alcohol and do as she ask like the useless, pathetic lap dog i was. I wish I was stronger physically and mentally to make her stay but I wasn't. The women has manage to the pull the strings to my heart that girls have been trying since I was 13. Why did it have to be her!