Disclaimer: Any character, location or magical vocabulary recognized from the Harry Potterverse the author does not own. It is all owned by the lovely Mrs. J. K. Rowling. The author is not receiving any sort of payment for this work.

Prologue

She should have seen this coming.

As the weeks progressed and the new school year came closer and closer to commencement Holly could feel him drawing away from her. Keeping their relationship a secret had been surprisingly easy. Grimmauld Place was a large home. Large enough that one could hide a relationship right under the noses of the other occupants, specifically one Mrs. Weasley. The person they found that was so much harder to fool had been Lupin. Holly should have known that even a simple cleansing or refresher charm was not enough to fool him.

The way that he eyeballed them, looked at her with a disappointed expression had almost been too much. No, it had not made her ashamed, it had made her angry. Who was he to be disappointed in her? He was her Third Year professor! Yes, be had been best friends with her father once upon a time, but that was the extent of their relationship. He had not been involved in her horribly scarring childhood with the Dursleys. He had not stayed in touch after he had quit the position either. At least dear Sirius had an excuse of Azkaban!

Lupin was the last person she would allow to pass judgement on her decisions. She was a seventeen year old, headstrong girl. No one told her what to do, bloody hell, not even Dumbledore could make her do something she did not want to do. The stubbornness, Minerva McGonagall said, she had gotten from her mother. It was the same stubbornness that had kept her mother from dating her father so early on in her school years. Her best friends, Ginny Weasley and Hermione Granger were supportive in her decisions. Well, as supportive as they could be in secret. At the beginning they were very conflicted with her decision. Well, Hermione had been conflicted while Ginny had been all for Holly doing exactly as she pleased. Hermione had been concerned about her reputation, about her feelings with being with an older man.

"It's love, Hermione," Ginny said with exasperation.

Thinking back on this conversation years later had made Holly realise how naive she and her two best friends had really been with many aspects of real life. But once again, who was anyone currently in her life, more qualified than herself, to have any idea on the longevity- the pureness of her love for Sirius Black? The answer is still the same as it is presently. No one but herself. Once again there was no conceivable way she would allow anyone to pass judgement on her relationships, her feelings, on anything let alone her love life.

"Sirius and Holly love each other."

"I'm not doubting Holly's feelings for him!" Hermione had defended. "But I will not deny doubting his."

Holly had been confused. Doubt Sirius' feelings for her? She? Never!

"What do mean?" Holly had asked, quite confused.

"Well, he's an older man, isn't he? Older and younger men think differently, I've come to realise. You are a younger women and he is an older man. His interpretation of this relationship may be different then your own. His feelings for you may be different then your own.."

Both Ginny and Holly looked to each other before bursting into laughter. Hermione looked on with a pinched expression. Her worry was evident in her brown eyes.

"Hermione," Holly had grinned. "I appreciate the concern for my feelings. But I think I know how Sirius feels about me."

Hermione bit on the side of her lip. "I just.. Don't want you to get your feelings hurt."

"Don't worry so much," Holly said. She smiled softly at her friend who returned it reluctantly.

"I'm not going to get hurt, Mione. The only thing, the only person, who can really hurt me is Sirius. And believe me, he would never do anything to hurt me."

How horribly wrong she was.

Author's note: Finally I'm back with this story. I'm not going to lie. I had every intention in leaving this story where it was and just moving on to other projects. I had lost all my muses for this story and had gained like a million in different other projects. And real life also got me caught up. But I recently decided to go thru all my uncompleted works to see if there were any "sparks". And there were, but only for the character of Holly Lily Potter, the story..heh not so much. This time around there is going to be a general plot instead of just porn with plot. Don't get me wrong, I may decide to put in a sex scene or two. That's a big MAY but I really do want to focus on the quality of the story I'm trying to weave out for my Fem!Harry. The updates will be slow, but please bear with me while I work on this plot. I'm going to be working on her relationships, feelings, her past and how her past influences those feelings and her overall decisions when life, especially a scandalous one, decides to take her for a spin. This is going to be a bumpy ride, but I hope you will enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy writing it. And of course, general comments on how this plot is coming along really is appreciated-Julie.