Title: My Angel
Author: BlackDemonAngel
Summary: It has been two years since Hermione's death and Harry reflects on it. Harmony angst, takes place during 7th year.
It has been a month, one month since her death. She was always so joyful and full of life. Now all that is left are the memories of her laugh, face and just her. I mean how couldn't I have known? What kind of friend am I? She was always full of life, she had so many dreams and now they were nothing but dreams. She always wanted to witness a miracle, fall in love, to get married in the church that her mom grew up in. She wanted to write a book and learn how to play the guitar. Even join an organization against Child Abuse and Child Labor.
I was there, during the last days of her life. The way she was pale and her hair had lost its shine and her eyes looked hallow as the leukemia claimed her thought every second. Every day was pure and unbelievable torture. I hated to see her there lying in the hospital bed like there was no hope in the world left. She was strong and she showed it until her dying breath.
I let the tears fall on my pillow as I just hold it tight to my body, trying to get rid of the thoughts. Knowing that it wouldn't work I let the memories take over. From the time of our first encounter on the train to the beginning of this year, flashes in front of my eyes, that just made it worse. I remember her smile that lit up a room and gave you the strength to continue. She was my angel and I realized it to late to do anything about it. I remember the night before her death. She was looked at the window that was opened, watching the moon and the letting the spring breeze caress her face. For that moment, she seemed like the girl I knew so well. She told me a few things like, she was going to die tonight and that I shouldn't be sad because she would never leave completely, and if I ever needed to feel comforted, I should look at the moon. Most likely, she would look back.
I told her that she was thinking badly and that she would make it. I said that while trying to hold back my tears. She noticed and moved a bit to give me enough room for me to lie down next to her. I did and she told me to let it out. I did, I cried and let the tears just flow down my checks until I just couldn't cry anymore. I just lay their and enjoyed her company well knowing that it might be the last. She turned around to face me and dried my tears. I looked at her and noticed that she had lost weight and even though fate and destiny had chosen her to die, her eyes showed the same compassion and deep in them.
Flashback:
Hermione laid on the bed with a hospital gown on while looking out the window toward the moon. Letting the moon light hit her right, giving her an angelic appearance. Her hair
spread all around her pillow and her eye shining with a promise. I knew she wasn't scared so why should I? I stared directly out of the window.
"Harry" She called out to me with a soft gentle voice.
"Yes" I answered
"Tonight's the last night of my life, Harry" She whispered in a soothing way.
"What? Hermione stop your scaring me. You are going to make it. I promise on my life." I said with a shaky voice.
"Oh, Harry don't make a promise you can't keep okay. I know it in my heart that tonight's the night, Harry. I want you to promise me that you won't cry and you won't let this affect you." Hermione said while staring me directly in the eyes.
I couldn't, I was losing the battle with my tears. I was trying to be strong and calm and she noticed. She moved enough to give me space on the bed. I cried so much after I had calmed down I just lay with her staring at the moon and watching her breath in and out. She noticed my tears and she hugged me gently as she decided to tell me a few things.
"Harry, I want to tell you what I feel at this moment. I feel that even though death is right around the corner, I feel content with my life so far, like I have done what I was sent to do. I want you to live by this: People are unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered; love them anyway. If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; do good anyway. If you are successful, you win false friends and true enemies; succeed anyway. The good you do will be forgotten tomorrow; do good anyway. Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable; be honest and frank anyway. What you spent years building may be destroyed overnight; build anyway. People really need help but may attack you if you help them; help them anyway. Give the world the best you have and you may get kicked in the teeth; give the world the best you've got anyway." She said in a gently and continued.
"Harry, don't ever fear death because death isn't something that can hurt you it's the passage to immortality and it's not meant to be feared. It's meant to be respected and understood. Harry, do me a favor." I nodded and she continued. "For when you get married, I want you to recite this at you wedding- Love is patient; love is kind. Love is not jealous, it does not put on airs; it is not snobbish. Love is never rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not prone to anger; neither does it brood over injuries. Love does not rejoice in what is wrong but rejoices with the truth. There is no limit to love's forbearance, to its trust, its hope, its power to endure whatever comes. Love never fails.I want you to remember me as you speak it. I want you to have hope for the future because it's the brightest thing to look forward too besides love." And with that she died. She took her last breath and that was it. I was in shock and after it wore off I just held her body close to mine and buried my face into her neck and let the tears roll down with the pain and anger all directed at fate. I kissed her forehead and her palm remembering one of her favor quotes, "Palm to palm is a holy palmer's kiss" from Romeo and Juliet act one scene 3.
I know I promised not to cry and all but what can you do when you lose your guarding angel? When you can't seem to find the good out of the bad, I really try to follow what she said about giving everything. She changed my life and made me see something that I didn't. She showed me not to fear death and to be grateful about things. To never ever let anyone tell what you can and can't do.
I get of out bed and sit on the window still. I let the breeze caress my face as I look up at the moon. It was bright and shining with what seemed joy. And for this moment I feel content for the first time since Hermione's death. I knew that the future looked a whole lot brighter with my angel looking out for me.
AN: Yes it ended a bit happy. So yeah read and review!
B.D.A