This story used to be called All Around Me, but I'm changing it up a tad. It will have the same story line, but out of order I guess.

Enjoy you guys!

2D P.O.V

'Look at you, you're disgusting. Blue hair was wild and unwashed, your broken black eyes that made you look undead, the two gaps in you mouth were you front teeth should be, the way your stomach caved in when you took deep breaths. How could anybody love you and your monstrous looks? Nobody ever would, especially Murdoc.'

Voices attacked my brain with brutal words, that shattered my already cracked sprit.

'How could one person be so stupid? You little fuck up. I bet Murdoc hit you with his car on purpose, who wouldn't want to hit something so ugly.' I flinched at the thoughts that sounded off in my head, but didn't belong to me.

'You're wrong he does care for me.' I thought back to the mind intruder.

'Open those broken eyes of yours Stuart, if you didn't have that voice of your do you honestly think Murdoc would bother to have you around?' I looked down at my fingers, feeling more depressed my the second. Mostly because every thing Voice had to say was completely true. I waited for Voice to come back, crush me some more. Thankful it stayed away, and I was left alone, not even having the imaginary voice in my head to keep me company. I took in beep breaths to sooth the silent tears that free fell from my empty eyes. A image fought it's way into my otherwise lonely mind. Murdoc. The perfect man that did this to me, made me weaker than I already was. The same man that nearly took my life with his car more than once, the same man that leaves burses and mental scars with me to survive with. Survive, not live. I wasn't living, I was suffocating, and I was damn tired of it. Most would question my sanity for even thinking of loving someone like Murdoc, hell people would question my sanity for having imaginary voice abuse me, but I saw through his tough shell. I saw the person he could be when he wasn't drunk off his ass. He could be the most wonderful human, than seconds later be so horrid. I didn't blame him, I blamed his father. The ass who 'raised' him.

My Voice had left me, but I still had the one friend that would never leave me, no matter how hideous I was. I was getting close to the same breaking point that I always seemed to cross. I eyes drifted downward to my switchblade, still stained red from the last time I used its healing powers. Its cold handle fit perfectly in my palm. I pressed the tip of the blade down to my already bare torso and dragged it down, not deep enough to cut, just to feel the sting. My arms looked as if somebody pushed them through a meat grinder. Some scars deeper than others, some long, some short. I was making my self uglier than I already was, but it was worth it. The few short moments of relief were all worth it. I found an open spot on my hip and positioned the blade at the right angle. When its sharp metal tip began to break my skin, I breathed a sigh of relief. Every moment leading up to this one was irrelevant. Every ache, insult, pain, cry, scream, was like it never happened, thanks to that one small cut. All to soon it was over, and I was left numb, and lifeless. I wanted to feel, if not joy or happiness, than pain and agony. Another cut found its way on to my soft flesh. My eyes were closed tightly, and I could feel the warm blood leaking down my naked hip. My nude body sat on my bed. I didn't give one fucking care about the blood that was leaking from my body, and onto my blankets. My neck went weak, and my head smashed down on the wall behind me. I didn't care about that either, it's not like I have anything in my skull that I need to protect. I pulled the cold blade from me and inspected it. Thick red liquids slipped from the tip. I found it… not beautiful but err, fascinating? (for lack of a better word.) The red ooze that belonged trapped behind skin fell onto my chest. I wondered if I remember to lock my door… It didn't really matter. The only other person home was Murdoc, and how often does he come to check up on me? Oh yeah, never. I craved to see his face, even thought it might end in a beating. I would beat the shit out of something as ugly as me if I was him. Surprising my wish came true… sadly it came true, I was still naked and blooding. I whimpered with shock, and pulled the covers around my body. Murdoc's eyes were wide and unmoving. God he looked beautiful. I caught myself staring, but quickly snapped out of it.

"What the hell 2D?" He whispered. Tears rained from the dents in my head, I remained silent.

"What the fuck are you doing?" he dared to move closer. I scooted away from him and into the wall. When he reached me and I could move away no more, his hand shot forward and took a hold of the blankets that were hiding me. The covers were torn from my body harshly, reopening a few cuts on my chest. I squeaked in slight pain. Murdoc's eyes rolled over my body, he seemed to be ignoring the fact that I was naked. His eyes found every one of the cuts that coated me. From my shoulders, to my stomach, and legs. I had been put though a paper shredder.

"What the fuck is wrong with you!?" he asked disgusted at my body. I felt myself tense.

'See, he thinks you're gross and ugly as hell. Can you really blame a guy for believing what is true?'

'FUCK YOU!' I screamed in my thoughts to Voice.

'Don't you mean fuck you? I'm a part of your mind, dumb ass.'

'If you're apart of me than everything you've said to me, applies to you too!' My mental outburst seemed to shut it up for the time being.

"Murdoc…" I whispered this time out loud.

"Are you fucking insane!?" he asked and threw the blanket back down on me.

"I… I'm sorry." I said even thought I didn't know why I was apologizing, for my waste of space I guess.

"You're sorry? Why the fuck are you even doing this?" he asked. He placed a hand to his forehead and began to pace back and fourth, all the while his eyes never leaving me. His black and red orbs were the sun and I was a child's ice cream cone, if you pardon my metaphor. My eyes tore from his and found the switchblade on the ground. Murdoc's eyes found it at the same time. I was fast, but he was faster. My bloody body tumbled from the bed and landed at Murdoc's feet. I looked up to see my knife in his hand.

"Give it back!" I shouted for my salvation. He looked at me like the mentally unstable person I was. He folded the knife and placed it in his pocket.

"Fuck no." he said sternly. I gripped onto his ankle.

"Murdoc, you don't understand I need that!" I would die with out it, but I would kill myself with it. Funny. The man above me shook me off like I was a dieing puppy, begging for the euthanasia shot that would end all misery.

"Murdoc!" I moaned. He shook his head.

"Fuck you!" I shouted even though I would never mean it. I stood from my oh so comfortable spot on the ground and pushed my way into the bathroom. I found the bandages and anti-bacterial cream. Murdoc had followed me he stood in the corner of the room, watching my naked figure move back and fourth. My hand reached out for the sink, I turned on the water and stuck a wash cloth under it. My movements were jerky and angry. I guessed because I was pissed as hell. I raked the wet cloth on my cuts, only causing them the bleed more.

"Stop it you idiot." Murdoc advised me. His hand took the cloth from me and began taking over my job. I suddenly felt self conscious with the fact that I was standing in the buff with Murdoc wiping me down.

"That's enough. Stop." I pulled away from me and grabbed at the anti-bacterial cream. I applied it to needed the need places. I was becoming a pro at fixing my self up. The gauze was next. I wrapped a long part around my waist so that it was covering my cut up hips.

"Are you going to give me my switchblade back now, or what?" I asked with anger noticeable in my voice. Still he shook his head no. I scolded at him.

"This is none of your business Murdoc!"

"I'm not letting you kill yourself 2D…"

"What not? You half murder me every time you see me!" I shouted to him. He looked indifferent.

"I'm doing this for you 2D."

"Why!? You don't give a fuck about me!" I felt the tears strolling down my cheeks again. He just kept shaking his head, what the fuck does that mean?

"Get the hell out of my room. Leave me alone." I said in a low, hellish voice. He had no right to do what he did. He doesn't give a shit about me. I was doing my best not to break down in sobs until he was out of my sight. He took in the words I fed him, and made his way to the door.

"This isn't over 2D. You're not going to do this." he said before shutting the door behind him. I reclaimed my spot on the bed and sank down in it. My bare chest was growing and shrinking with every deep breath I took. My hands were shaking rapidly. What the hell just happened?

'He's acting, he doesn't really give a fuck. He just doesn't want you to leave the band. You're just a pussy who can't handle emotions like any other normal person in the world. You should kill yourself already. Do yourself and everyone around you the pleaser of your own death. Murdoc can find a new singer, probably a better one too. Nobody needs you around!' Voice was back, and it was sure to be extra cruel. And I think I would do it, kill my self. It only I had something to do it with, damn Murdoc had to take my blade. I hated him because I loved him to much. He hated me because I was… me. I clawed at myself until layers of skin were wedged under my nails. It felt wonderful, beautiful, magnificent, perfect, everything that I wasn't. I would never be any of those things, I am and always will be slime, dirty, hideous, and flaw full. Nothing could change that.

WOOHOO! How do you guys like it? I like it a whole lot better than All Around Me if you guys remember that fic. (I've deleted it) I have no idea when updates will occur, since I have school, and Baby Daddy to attend to! But Don't forget to review, favorite, and follow! ;)