A/N: Okay, I'll admit it before I get so wrapped up in writing that I forget: I stole the title of this fic from a My Chemical Romance song. So don't think I was all creative and stuff by thinking up the title. (sweatdrops) Anyway, I've been thinking of writing this for a little while now, and since school lets out in less than two months, I figured it was okay to start another long-term project. I'm trying for something a little darker this time, and maybe less romance and humor than usual, too. I'm a little nervous about venturing out of the well-known territory of comical-romances, so be nice about things! Also, I honestly don't know how long the Shaman Fights lasted from beginning to end, but I'm assuming it was only about three years or so, so if I got something wrong, don't spazz. And I've elaborated on Hao's death a bit. The one in the anime wasn't really dramatic enough for this fic to work. So if you haven't seen the end, don't think Yoh was a big meanie or anything.
Warnings: Spoilers if you haven't seen the last few episodes, OOC-ness (hentai!Yoh for a moment or two, and wussy!Hao as well), some violence, and other unhappy things later on.
Disclaimer: I just play with them, Takei-sama, I promise. I'll be sure to put them back when I'm done, even if some of them are broken.
Drowning Lessons
Chapter I
It had been one year. One year since Yoh's last match against Ren. One year since the X-LAWS were slaughtered. One year since Ren, Horohoro, and the others had all given Yoh their last reserves of strength. One year since the Great Spirit was destroyed.
It had been one year.
Yoh had remembered, while everyone else had forgotten. He tried to forget it all, too, but for different reasons. He didn't really mind having witnessed all the deaths and destruction like everyone else had. No, it was something different.
It had been one entire year since Yoh's dreams were shattered.
Once the news had reached him that the Great Spirit was gone, he was completely devastated. For months on end he put on a brilliant façade of apathy for the matter; almost like he hadn't cared either way. Of course, now that the Great Spirit was no more, Yoh felt like there was almost no point in living. After all, his family had been counting on him for five hundred years to win the title of Shaman King, and he had failed them all. It was his fault that the Great Spirit had been destroyed, and he knew it.
It had been one year since Yoh had killed Hao in Hoshi no Seichi.
Yoh had never liked the prospect of killing; he opted to keep his opponents alive at the end of a fight and give them a chance to change their ways. In time, he always forgave them, no matter what the crime. Hao was no different. Yoh would have kept his twin alive if given the opportunity, but the others were not so sympathetic; they urged him to kill Hao as soon as he could. But to kill his own brother--his very own flesh and blood--was not something Yoh was accustomed to doing. And it haunted him day and night, but he never told a soul.
He could hear Hao's last gasps for breath echoing over and over in his head, sometimes accompanied by choking coughs and sobs. Eventually he was able to see his brother's bleeding form laying on the rocky ground, without any protection or security, tears streaming from eyes just like his own. Yoh would look over the weeping and bleeding form, and clench the handle of Harusame tightly, not wanting to take pity of the one who had made life so hard. Hao would reach up to him with a bruised hand, using the last of his strength and whisper something Yoh could never quite understand. All Yoh would do would be to point Harusame at his older brother, the tip touching the tanned skin at his throat. Hao would choke something incomprehensible, but Yoh would close his eyes tightly and shove the blade deep into what felt like his own flesh and blood...
"Asakura!" Yoh's head shot up off his desk. He had fallen asleep during class again, even though he knew he was on the edge of being pitched out of the school. He blinked, trying to remember what he was dreaming about. "What is the function of a spleen!" the Biology teacher demanded from the front of the class. He had been dissecting what appeared to be a squirrel for half an hour already, and the desk at the front of the classroom was covered in all sorts of little squirrelly-organs.
"Erm..." Yoh had practically thrown up when he saw the squat man pick up a little blob of squirrel-innards and wiggle it around as if to prove to the class that it, indeed, was a spleen. "I don't know, sir," Yoh mumbled, growing paler by the second. Beside him, Manta was scribbling notes furiously, not at all minding that there was a spleen being waved around at the front of the class.
"I just told the entire class," the Biology teacher huffed, dropping the organ down onto the table. "That the spleen filters and stores blood, and creates lymphocytes." What exactly a lymphocyte was, Yoh did not know. "But, since you were clearly not listening, Asakura," the teacher continued, adjusting his glasses. "I will keep you after class, and you will clean the squirrel organs off this desk, taking precise notes as you do so. You're failing this class as it is, and if you don't pass the exam next Tuesday, you'll have to repeat this course next year." A few teacher's-pet students giggled quietly, exchanging smirks.
"Yes, sir," Yoh said dully. He wished the teacher hadn't announced all that in front of the entire class; now that he wasn't going to be Shaman King, he needed to find some way to succeed in the world. He had all but given up on being a shaman once the Great Spirit was lost, knowing that he had no real goal to work for as a shaman, that he'd better get used to living as a regular, not-Shaman-King person. Of course, he was trying as hard as he could to pass Biology, and had been since the beginning of the school year, but he just couldn't. Just as his theory stated, his brain wasn't made for thinking.
"It's okay, Yoh-kun," Manta whispered, seeing Yoh shoot the teacher a glare Anna would have been very proud of. "I'll stay and help you. I need to double-check my notes, anyway." Yoh smiled a bit, turning back into his old self as seamlessly as possible. Just like he always would when a teacher scolded him, he cast a glance at Anna, who was sitting on the other side of the classroom.
Over the past three years or so, Yoh had gotten to know a large number of girls. He wasn't exactly sure how, but all of them seemed to blossom quite nicely into curvy, young women; save for his fiancée. Anna was still as spindly as ever, and had yet to grow out of the black dresses she'd worn as a pre-teen. She'd grown taller, just like everyone else had, but Yoh was beginning to wish she would put on a little weight so he wouldn't have to worry about her getting blown away on a blustery day.
Anna rolled her eyes at Yoh, then when she looked away a small smirk danced around her lips. She was always so hateful when it came to Yoh doing things he didn't want to, and the Asakura knew that she was delighting in his misery. Manta had called her slightly sadistic at one point, and Yoh didn't know whether to laugh with his best buddy about it or to scold him for being not-so-nice to his fiancée.
The rest of the class passed uneventfully, the teacher's drawn-out words going into one of Yoh's ears and out the other, and by the time Manta and Yoh were done cleaning up the squirrel-innards from the teacher's desk, the latter had only thrown up three times.
While walking home, Yoh and Manta were relatively quiet. They had finally learned to just appreciate each other's company instead of yapping the entire time, and they were taking advantage of this new-found skill until Manta broke the silence.
"Feeling better, Yoh-kun?" he asked.
"I think so," Yoh said, nodding lazily. He was enjoying the silence, his dream from Biology class replaying out slowly. It wasn't the first time he'd had it, and he was beginning to wonder if it meant something.
"I got a letter from Lyserg-kun the other day," Manta said after a while more of silent walking. Yoh raised his eyebrows, being too lethargic to actually say something. "He said he's coming to Tokyo to visit us for a while."
"Are you saying you want to stay with us at Funbari Onsen while he's here?" Yoh asked, then stumbled over a crack in the sidewalk. It was hard to see things like that at dusk, as Yoh had just noticed. His wooden sandals clomped loudly as he regained his balance, and the sound of Manta laughing echoed throughout the neighborhood.
"Careful Yoh-kun!" the blonde laughed. "You'll be dead before your next birthday if you keep tripping like that!" Yoh giggled, knowing that Manta was right. Yoh had been awfully clumsy lately, and if he was going to reach the age of seventeen, he was going to have to stop face-planting himself on the sidewalk.
"What about you?" Yoh asked, still smiling. "I seem to remember you slipping on that squirrel's liver a little while ago, remember?" Manta blushed, scowling.
"That was only once!" he defended, shrugging. "At least I don't fall down every time I try to walk!" The two boys stared at each other in mock-anger for a moment, then burst out laughing as they continued home.
Once at Funbari Onsen, both boys were relatively surprised at the amount of noise coming from inside the house. Laughing, talking, and what sounded like a scream now and then all resonated from the former inn, along with rather loud music.
"Is Anna having a party?" Yoh asked, completely stumped.
"I dunno..." Manta said, shrugging. "Maybe we should go see..."
The two boys cautiously opened the front door of Funbari Onsen and slipped inside. They edged down the hall, but saw no source of where the noise was coming from. They slid open one of the doors to a semi-useless room, they learned that Yoh was indeed correct. The room was packed with people, all of them talking to one another and laughing. It took Yoh and Manta a moment to realize it, but the people in the room were the ones they'd traveled across the United States with. Yoh thought he'd never see any of them again once they'd parted ways a year ago, but he was plainly wrong.
Yoh's eyes and smile grew wide as he took a moment to recognize each guest. Ryu had apparently brought Horohoro and Pirika down from Hokkaido; Lyserg had flown in from London, along with Jeanne and Marco; Ren and Jun were somewhere in the flock of people (Yoh could see their hair-spikes standing up above the crowd); Tamao had come from Izumo; Faust and Eliza had done all they could to make themselves unnoticeable, and were now making out in a corner; and Chocolove had traveled halfway around to world from New York. Anna was the first to notice Yoh and Manta, and scooted herself over to them unobtrusively.
"I didn't invite them, I swear," said, shooting a death glare into the crowd. Yoh smiled at his fiancée.
"Sure, " he said, smiling more. He was guessing that Anna had invited them over to celebrate something. Anna scowled.
"They just showed up," the blonde fumed. "I was going to send them away, but I thought you might want to see them." Yoh stared at Anna, not sure if she had invited them or if they had really just appeared there. He supposed that since Tamao was there, they had all been invited; it just wasn't like her at all to show up uninvited.
"Thanks, Anna," Yoh said, smiling, then he excused himself to go talk to his old friends, Manta in tow.
"You're welcome," Anna said, knowing that Yoh wouldn't hear her. If he heard her being nice, he might think that she was going to be this thoughtful forever.
Over the course of the evening, Yoh received more hugs than he could count, and was so happy that he actually forgot that it was the anniversary of Hao's death. He didn't want to go to bed when the time came, but he was literally so tired that he was tripping over his own feet. It was 3:00 in the morning, and Yoh had eaten so much that he felt like he's swallowed large boulder. He was the happiest he'd been in a year, and he'd had a rather pleasant conversation with Pirika a few minutes ago. Horohoro's younger sister had matured rather quickly (given she was two years younger than almost everyone else there), and she still had a habit of bouncing around when she talked; of course, the genki Ainu didn't know how much Yoh was enjoying the bouncing... Anyhow, Yoh didn't bother to get undressed before he plopped down onto his futon, and fell asleep almost instantly.
Swimming in the warm darkness of sleep, Yoh could hear the gasping coughs and sobs of Hao. He wrenched his head around, searching for his older brother like he always did, but all he saw was gloom. He felt weightless yet heavy as an anchor at the same time, and he tried desperately to run toward his other half. Suddenly, he was back in Hoshi no Seichi, Harusame in his hand, and staring down at Hao. Once again, he was witnessing the final moments of his brother's life.
"...Otôto..." Hao gasped, gazing up tearfully at his younger brother. "...Please...help me..." Yoh scowled at his other half, tightening his grip on Harusame. He had actually understood what Hao had said, though he wasn't aware of it at the moment.
"I can't," Yoh replied sullenly. "You've hurt too many people, and that can't be forgiven." Hao's brown eyes grew wide, and he held up a battered hand to Yoh. The red glove that had once covered the appendage was missing, and Yoh could see just how fragile the skin underneath was.
"...I'll...change m-my ways..." Hao pleaded, tears streaming from the corners of his eyes down onto the rocky ground beneath him. "I...I s-swear..." Yoh actually considered letting Hao live this time, but a gut instinct forced him to shove Harusame under his chin.
"You've made too many people suffer, Hao!" Yoh barked. "Including me and my friends!" But before he could finish his little speech, Hao had miraculously gotten to his feet, despite the large gash across his chest from Harusame's earlier strike, and now had a hand clamped around his otôto's throat.
"You suffered!" Hao spat, giving Yoh a little shake. "You don't know what it means to suffer! I've suffered! For fifteen centuries, my soul has been in constant pain! And now it's going to have to wait another five hundred years before it can be healed!" Yoh was so surprised by his older brother's action that he didn't do anything to defend himself. "Do you want to know?" the older Asakura hissed, digging his fingernails into the soft flesh of his otôto's neck. Yoh shook his head slowly, knowing that the dream had gone far off track as he heard Harusame clang to the ground. "You don't...? Well, that's just too bad, otôto." With that, Hao threw Yoh down onto the rocky ground and glared at him. Instead of kicking him or whatnot, Hao just left Yoh laying there with a throbbing neck, and walked away into the nothingness of Hoshi no Seichi.
Yoh awoke with a start, coughing and sputtering, utterly shocked at the pain at his neck. It felt like Hao had actually tried to choke him, and after a few minutes of waiting for the throbbing to cease, Yoh wondered if he'd had too much of Tamao's wonderful sherry-laced strawberry-mango punch, and that was what was giving him such a horrid dream. Anyway, Yoh decided that it was the punch (which was begging for release at the moment), and it would be wise to find a bathroom before the futon was damped.
A few minutes later, after Yoh was sure his bladder wasn't going to explode anymore, the young Asakura boy was standing at the sink in the bathroom washing his hands. He gazed tiredly into the mirror above the sink, noticing how long his hair was getting. Tilting his head to the side to see more of the coffee-colored locks shining in the light reflecting off the mirror, Yoh noticed a small mark on the side of his neck. Pulling back the sheet of dark hair revealed more marks, giving him a grand total of four. Leaning over nearer to the mirror to examine them, Yoh realized that they were open wounds; gashes from where Hao's fingers had dug into his neck, and they were bleeding slightly.
Yoh gasped, staring at his terrified reflection in the mirror and clutching the slashes at his throat with trembling fingers. He thought the he had imagined the pain! It was an illusion from too much strawberry-mango punch! But...this was real. He'd heard of things like this happening to people who got themselves mixed up in the wrong crowd of spirits, but Yoh never thought anything like this would ever happen to him. Tears of fear were beginning to well up in the corners of Yoh's eyes as he stared at the gashes in the mirror, and he did everything he could to keep them from falling. As he walked slowly back to his room, he couldn't help thinking that this was only the beginning of a long period of suffering. He knew that Hao was persistent, and would stop at nothing to get what he wanted. But exactly what he wanted, Yoh didn't know.
End Chapter I.
A/N: There's the first chapter. Just like I mentioned at the top, I don't know exactly where I'm going with this, but all I know is that there'll be some bloodshed later on. (giggle) I know I'm not the best at writing darker stuff, but this is just practice, so be nice in the reviews I'm sure you'll give me. Also, if you haven't seen the Japanese version of the anime, 'Hoshi no Seichi' is the 'Land of Stars,' or something like that. (I don't watch the dub regularly, so I'm not exactly sure what some of these names are.) Anyway, the rating on this might rise sometime within the next few chapters...so if it disappears from the main page, check the M-rated stuff. By the way, am I the only person who finds this new rating system completely annoying? I think I liked the movie-based system better than this one... It was clearer, in a way.