SHISH KABOB

you know, I always thought shish kabob was one word... mm. Enjoy!

"RENJIIIIIIII!" Byakuya's voice rang out through the afternoon air, disturbing whatever silence that might have existed.

Oh god. No. Please god. Not again.

"Renji, Renji Renji Renji!" sniff, teary eyes, pout. Byakuya just looked too cute like that...

"Yes?" the lieutenant sighed. He was starting to get used to this foolishness...and that couldn't be a good sign.

"I can't find the kabob sticks..."

Renji closed his eyes, breathed deeply, and reminded himself to not even BOTHER to ask what Byakuya wanted with kabob sticks.

"We can have a barbeque if you help me look for them." Byakuya said hopefully.

Renji sighed. "Why do you always use bribery?"

Byakuya leaned his head to the side, giving Renji an innocent look (or so it seemed, it was hard to tell with the sixth squad captain.) "Because it works. So, are you gonna help me look for them?"

"Maybe..."

"I'll even do your paper work!" Byakuya added in a singsong voice.

"Let me top you tonight too?"

"Sure!"

"I'm in."

The search for the kabob sticks was...hellish. Byakuya made him do all the work and when he complained there was only the reminder or 'I'm letting you top tonight, I have to save my strength!' and not only that, he had been crunching on froot loops the entire bloody time. (And if Renji ever saw another box of froot loops again, it would be too soon)

eventually, two fallen stack of tires and a book imprint on his head later, they found the kabob sticks. They had been squished between the air hockey table and a giant teddy bear.

"Why, may I ask, do you need these kabob sticks anyway?" it slipped out of Renji's mouth before he could remember his reminder.

Byakuya was sitting on a kitchen chair, smiling happily as he speared a chunk of pineapple with his kabob stick. "I can't eat pineapples without them"

"So, can we do it now?" Renji asked, about to get undressed.

Byakuya shrugged. "Pineapples first." the poor lieutenant wanted to cry. No, not because he wouldn't get to go soon, no not because an encyclopedia had fallen on his head, and no, not because he still had scratches from a rabid rat.

It was because...food always came before him.

"Hey taicho?" Byakuya made a grunting noise. "Life's a bitch in a red dress whoring herself to whoever she meets." with that Renji left. At least he had a barbeque to look forward to.

OWARI

hee? I liked, I dunno about you! Hey, is whoring a real word?