PAIRING: Cho/Harry, though only in Harry's mind

TABLE: Table 7 - DARK

PROMPT: #4 - HOPELESSNESS

RATING: G

SUMMARY: Harry contemplates romance during the Yule Ball.

WARNINGS: Harry realising that he might be bi?

NOTES: Ignores canon happenings at the ball after Harry and Ron return to the Hall after overhearing Hagrid and Madame Maxime up to Cedric asking to talk to Harry.

Harry Potter was sitting along in the middle of the Yule Ball, an event that was supposed to be, in part, a celebration of his and his fellow champions' triumph during the first task. The other champions were happily swaying in the middle of the dance floor with their respective partners. And it wasn't just the older years: Hermione was not the only fourth-year who was enjoying the night of dancing. Apart from Ron and himself, all the fourth-years were dancing: Neville with Ginny, Dean and Seamus with their dates, the rest of his year mates with their own.

Ron had found himself a corner to brood in, occasionally shooting glares and betrayed looks at Hermione and Krum. Harry, on the other hand, found that he couldn't summon up the will to do the same to Cedric and Cho. As much as he wished that he was the one dancing with Cho, he respected her enough that he was glad to see her happy - and if he was honest with himself, he doubted that he would have been dancing even if Cho had been his date tonight.

The night had already been eventful. It had started with Hermione and Ron's argument (no matter how much everyone else would term that a blow up, the Gryffindors knew better. The blow up was still to come). Then had come Hagrid's stunning, though unintended, revelation, along with the snippets of the overheard conversation between Snape and Karkaroff. There was more than enough new information to occupy his mind, yet it was, somehow, nowhere near enough to turn his mind from the dance floor.

He had stepped onto the floor after that disastrous opening dance with Parvati. The Gryffindor Chasers had all dragged him to dance, as had Hermione. But watching everyone with their dates made him feel wistful - and sad. Dancing with his friends was one thing, and - by the looks on everyone's faces - dancing with someone special was another thing altogether. He couldn't help but wish that he had someone special too, someone he actually wanted to spend time with at the Ball, instead of a last-minute date. If he had acted sooner, it might have been him on the dance floor with Cho instead of Cedric. Or maybe - just maybe - he would have acted on the confusing feelings he had recently started to feel. After all, according to Hermione, it wasn't a taboo here in the Wizarding World like in the Muggle one.

In his three-and-a-half years here at Hogwarts, he had seen quite a few such couples - and a number of the them had become famous. The may have been in the minority, but they definitely existed, and were accepted.

It was something that had confused Harry the first time he had seen a homosexual couple completely open with each other, at least until Hermione had informed him that it wasn't such a big thing here. It was in complete opposition to everything that Uncle Vernon had to say on the matter, and so he had taken to it quickly. Anything that went against his relatives' opinions was okay by him. But through it all, he had to wonder: how far did the acceptance go? Would the people of the wizarding world accept a Boy-Who-Lived who was - bisexual was the term he thought Hermione had used. Was the so-called "Saviour" supposed to be above such things? He knew he was attracted to women - Cho was evidence enough - but after he had noticed how fit Oliver Wood was last year, he had gone to Hermione for help. It was then that she had explained to him that it wasn't simply a choice between being straight or gay, and that he could be attracted to more than one gender. And to add to everything was the dream he had had about Voldemort. He wasn't sure that he could get involved with someone while Voldemort was looking to kill him: he didn't want anyone getting caught in the crossfire.

As if his life wasn't complicated enough to begin with - Voldemort was trying to kill him, and his body had decided that it was the perfect time to have a sexuality crisis. All when he couldn't do anything about it, of course. It might even have been a good thing that he was late asking Cho out: no one could possibly think that he was interested in Parvati after the Ball, and there was no chance of Cho being targeted for being his potential love interest. But that also meant that experimenting was completely out of the question. Maybe he -

'Harry?' Hermione's voice broke through his introspection. 'I think it's time to return to the Common Room, don't you?' she continued, as Harry looked up, and then down at his watch. He hadn't realised that it was quite so late - or that the Hall was mostly empty.

'Yeah,' he replied, getting up from his seat and starting to move towards the doors.

As he moved, he looked back at Hermione's flushed, happy face, and back at the few couples still swaying on the floor.

Harry had never felt so lonely.

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