Disclaimer: Mai-Hime and its characters do not belong to me. Sunrise has the privilege. Bastards…
Author's Notes: Hello, guys. This story has been on my mind for quite a while, but it took me some time to realize it would probably get a bit too long for a one shot so I will divide it to a few parts. Anyways, I got the idea from a short story I suddenly remembered (I've read it a long time ago), written by Stephen King. If that name rings any bell than you've probably guessed right. It's going to be horror…ish. Most of the fic will be written with the use of flashbacks. And yes, the main… pairing is Natsuki/Shizuru (the latter will make an appearance later) although, I warn you, this story might seem a little screwed up. Also, Nao plays a solid part in this as a… listener of sorts. Anyways, I have no idea what else to add. Enjoy?
The sound made by the limping old man's uneven footsteps could still be heard echoing across the empty hallway, not completely muted by the firmly shut door, as Nao Yuuki literally slammed her forehead on her working desk and let out a long, frustrated sigh, her fingers entangling in her messy red locks trying to ease the horrible headache she had to put up with through the entire session.
She waited patiently in this position and listened until her former and, fortunately, last patient, for the day at least, languidly descended down the staircase leading to the small entrance lobby. She barely made out the high-pitched voice of her incompetent secretary wishing the man a 'good night' and the automatic sliding door's hiss indicating that he had left.
"Good riddance…" murmured the redhead and let her eyelids close for a few short moments, imagining the warmth of her bed at home.
Nao hated this job… Well, not the job exactly. It was more like this - she hated the people she had to deal with every day. Whiny 'depressed' teenagers… Stupid ex-alcoholics who quite noticeably stank of beer or whiskey from the night before… Cranky yet harmless old hags, some of whom being the prime examples of the crazy cat lady cliché… And finally, there were the people who really needed her help. They were no exception.
When she had first entered this same office almost two years ago, consumed by that mixed feeling of both confidence and arrogance, she hadn't expected that she would eventually grow to dislike the circle of people she had sworn to guide and comfort such a long time ago when her mother had been taken into an asylum for the mentally ill.
Her mother's absence had left Nao to foster care, alone with the hope that one day they would have the chance to talk to each other like normal human beings again. However, that flicker of hope had long been put out… ever since that phone call, bringing along the news of Mrs. Yuuki's unfortunate death… Well, it was never explained how exactly she had managed to 'accidentally' hang herself on her on bed sheets in her own room, but Nao had been just a kid and, of course, everyone thought she wouldn't question the circumstances of Mrs. Yuuki's death... Not any time soon, at least…
But what the red haired woman despised the most about her profession was that she understood how they felt, their emotions… and not just because she had spent years studying in advanced fields such as counseling psychology, psychiatry, psychoanalysis, and whatnot... To put it simply, she had a gift for it, she could sense their troubles. And yet Nao only did what was needed, without any indications that she wanted to be friendly with her patients like most of her colleagues.
The problem was, these people also had an effect on her, the main difference being that the said effect wasn't positive. She couldn't really explain it to herself. She just knew that she wanted out and yet she felt guilty because of it. This had slightly affected her behavior and, very soon after the first couple of months, she had become known as a cold, sarcastic jerk who only helped because of the profit she would get from it. Her demeanor often betrayed her uncaringness, annoyance and loathing for the damn place. However, people still came to her… because she never judged, she listened. People felt more comfortable around her, more willing to share what was on their mind. And that probably was the reason she wasn't struggling with problems such as low income or growing debts.
"Shit." Nao cursed under her breath and raised her head, having realized she had been caught up in memories again... It was happening often lately. She needed a drink. Maybe two… Or at least a smoke.
Leaning on her right elbow, she threw a quick glance at the clock, ticking quietly on the only part of her desk that wasn't entirely covered with papers she should have sorted out weeks ago. She didn't consider herself as an overly organized person when it came to work or even her life style and usually left everything to her impulsiveness.
"Seven." She muttered and managed to suppress a rising yawn. It was still early in the evening, but it was already getting dark, judging by the lack of light that usually still came from behind the blinds. She tried to remember what… or rather who she had to work with today, but nothing really came out of the chaos that was her mind at the moment. It all seemed like a broken fragment of a past memory, a blur of faces and life stories she was completely indifferent to, something she just wanted to forget.
She forced herself to stand up and stretched her body, feeling her spine releasing all the tension that had gathered up during the entire time sitting on that uncomfortable leather chair. Seriously, why did the patients got to be the ones to sit on the soft leather couch and she have to put up with that?
"Oh well…"
The redhead walked to the only window in the dimly lit room and nonchalantly looked out, to the dark street. The streetlight flickered, casting an eerie glow. There were no cars thundering along the street. No people, no sounds… save for the occasional grunt coming from a wandering outcast… It was like the entire city was desperately trying to keep deadly quiet, as if it was expecting something to happen… Or maybe it was just the red haired woman's imagination, she couldn't tell.
Nao shook her head and, grumbling quietly, reached her hands to lower the white transparent curtains.
But suddenly she felt a strange feeling coursing through her body and stopped slowing her movement… As if… she wasn't completely done here, like she had to finish something important.
That sensation lasted for a few very short moments and then it was gone. Nao blinked, not sure what to make of this… Another demonstration of her mind to prove that she, indeed, was slowly losing it?
However, she quickly shrugged it off as one of those moments and dropped down the curtains, the depressing view of the street disappearing from her sight.
Her eyes started searching for her jacket while at the same time her fingers danced along the line of buttons on her white medical uniform...
Hsss…
Her ears perked up at the sound. It was the door to the lobby. The sound was followed by muffled hasty footsteps.
She furrowed her brows into an angry scoff. She didn't have any more appointments for the day. Who the hell had decided to brag in at this time? There was a sign outside that made it perfectly clear that, in order to talk with doctor Nao Yuuki, one would have to arrange a session beforehand since her schedule was full. Couldn't people read? It was dark outside, but still…
With a beep, the intercom on her desk went on and the sweet voice of Nao's secretary spoke in an annoyed tone.
"Doctor Yuuki, a woman here, who doesn't have an appointment," she underlined each syllable of that last word and Nao could just imagine the way she was glaring at the newcomer at the same time "wants to meet you… Like, now.
Nao's frown deepened as she went back to her working place and held down a small red button on the device to answer.
"Didn't she read the damn sign? It's way past the time I should've left, anyways. Tell her to come back in Monday and set a meeting." She cut short, hoping that her would-be patient would just leave. She had had enough for one day.
There was some silence before the intercom beeped again.
"She says it's urgent." The voice exclaimed, sounding a bit unsure.
Nao gritted her teeth, tempted to storm downstairs and deal with the matter in person.
"Suzume, if every person coming here told you it was urgent for them to talk to me and you fell for it, I would have long passed out from sleep deprivation." Technically, they both would have, but Nao barely acknowledged her secretary enough to care about her well-being.
Another twenty or so seconds of silence passed without an interruption. Nao was beginning to feel triumphant, but the feeling soon evaporated as Suzume's voice echoed again. It just wasn't her lucky day, she thought with a sigh.
"I… don't think she would listen to me, Doctor… Maybe you could… make an exception? Just this time?"
The redhead couldn't believe her ears.
"Pardon, Suzume? Are you suggesting I accept her? Do you have any idea how tired I am?" her voice was shaking. She was desperately trying to keep her tone low and stern. The last thing she needed right now was to get in a verbal fight with her secretary.
To her surprise when the other woman replied it was in the form of a barely audible whisper.
"Ms. Yuuki, please. There's just something about her eyes… It's trouble. I have the bad feeling she might cause harm if you don't talk with her. She… she doesn't look stable." There was something in her voice that Nao didn't like. She had never before seen, or in this case – heard, this side of her secretary. She sounded genuinely concerned, but whether it was for the stranger or for herself, the young psychotherapist couldn't tell.
The woman's words had torn Nao between two different emotions. On one hand she had to admit she was interested – for the first time since she had first hired Suzume the stupid girl actually sounded serious. However, on the other hand the redhead wanted nothing more than to leave this office. Her secretary could be trying to act scared in order to let Nao deal with the problem. The girl had proven many times before how absent-minded and lazy she could be.
'What to do? What to do?' a voice singsonged in Nao's head.
"C'mon, Doctor. Just let her go upstairs, she might decide to go home after a minute or two with you." Nao couldn't decide whether to take that as an insult or to shrug it off. After a short mental battle, she let it go, with the mental note to give Suzume a harsh lecture about certain liberties she was allowing herself.
The redhead rubbed her temples before answering.
"Fine." She stated coldly, effectively masking the frustration. "Tell her to come upstairs. As for you… you're done for the day, but I plan on having a nice, looong talk with you next week. Am I clear?"
"Yes, ma'am." Came the reply.
Nao grunted as she put her medical uniform back on. Normally, the other woman would most likely answer sarcastically with that 'fuck you' tone the redhead hated so much. Maybe this patient was, in fact, different. Props to her for managing to unsettle her secretary like that at least.
The red haired woman leaned backward, sitting nonchalantly on her desk and crossed her legs. She perked up her ears as a pair of feet began climbing the stairs to her office. Something about the sound pinched her curiosity, something only someone highly trained like her would notice... She couldn't quite put her finger on it. The footsteps were uneven, almost unsure, with an occasional cease, as if the stranger stopped to look outside the windows or something like that. If she wanted to see Doctor Yuuki that badly, why was she taking so much time to do so?
Eventually, as the footsteps began to sound closer, Nao could hear the quiet ragged breathing of the woman. It sounded like she was under a lot of pressure. Maybe it really was 'urgent'.
'I'm about to find out.' Thought the redhead and brushed a strand of hair behind her ear.
The footsteps ceased just in front of the door. All Nao could hear in the complete silence that followed was the woman's breaths. She had stopped outside the office, but she wasn't entering. Nao hoped she wasn't about to turn back and leave, after pretty much becoming the reason of the redhead's increased headache.
Another minute passed as Nao waited patiently, until the silence was interrupted. She started wondering how this woman looked like. Most of her female patients were either old ladies who talked too much or teenage girls who often had suicidal tendencies because they boyfriends had dumped them. Hopefully, this one wasn't either case.
Knock, knock…
'Finally…'
"Come in."
After some hesitation on her part the door slowly opened.
Nao stared.
The woman that stepped cautiously into the room was neither an old lady nor particularly depressed looking teen.
She was really pale and the way the small amount of light in the room illuminated her skin made her look like a ghost. Her facial features were perfectly sculpted, to the point where Nao thought the woman would resemble a marble statue were she standing completely still. Her dark hair had a strange bluish tint to it that made the doctor want to reach her hand and take a few of those locks between her fingers and feel their softness. Her clothes were stylish and looked pretty expensive, but Nao noted that they were really worn off, there were also a few cuts along the tight jeans and her jacket, as if she had just came running out of the woods or something. She was young, probably in her early twenties, somewhere around Nao's age.
But the most striking thing about the woman was her eyes. Green and deep, they shined like a pair of magical orbs. But… they looked so tired, as if the woman had been put through a lot of emotional pain.
Nao remembered Suzume's words. There's just something about her eyes… She had been right. There were a good number of different emotions floating behind them. Suspicion... Desperation… Sadness… Hopelessness… Some of the others feelings even Nao couldn't decipher. Not that she cared, of course. Well, at least… not yet.
In spite of the tired look the woman seemed to fare remarkably well in terms of her physical condition, the redhead noted appreciatively. Slender legs, shapely waist and hips… Overall, the woman reminded Nao of one of those chicks in action films, the ones that eventually had a scene with only their underwear on. The fantasy of the warm bed quickly came back, with the slight difference that this time this woman also starred in it with most of her clothes off, promising a relaxing body massage with a sinister smile…
'Hmm, one of those weird thoughts again.' The redhead mentally mused, snapping off her little daydream and turning back her attention to the woman's confused face. 'I seriously need to get laid…'
If anything, the woman was a looker and Nao decided to soften up a bit. Maybe some time ago, her conscience would have scoffed at her that this was a really shallow way of thinking, but right now it didn't matter to her.
"So," Nao started, feeling that the other woman wasn't about to start the conversation on her own. She motioned to the infamous leather couch. "Why don't you take a seat and explain to whom I own the pleasure of still being here, in this room, instead of going home?"
The sarcasm was obvious and yet, the newcomer didn't seem to acknowledge it, as she nodded and made her way to where Nao had pointed.
When she sat down her neckpiece rode a little, leaving her neck open. Nao suppressed her confused scow when she saw a bunch of marks, each of them with a different tint which contrasted on her pale neck. Some of them had faded and were barely noticeable, but others were still scarlet colored – they seemed more recent… fresh.
However, the woman hastily fixed her collar and the young therapist didn't get the chance to figure out the marks' origin. She could only guess. A wild animal? An abusive lover? Maybe she had made them by herself?
Nao's line of thought was cut off when the newcomer raised her hand, her fingers clasped around a yellow paper.
"What's this?" the redhead asked.
The other woman looked coldly at her and furrowed her brows, as if wondering why the doctor would ask such a silly question.
"My file… I thought every therapist needed their patient's file before working with them…" Came the quiet reply. Her voice was low and husky with certain softness in her timbre. However, it also sounded… sad, somewhat hopeless maybe…?
Nao blinked, the previous anger quickly rushing back into her veins. Who did this woman think she was? Was she really that dense or was she trying to get on Nao's nerves on purpose? If she was going to act like a bitch why had she requested for them to meet.
"Normally, yes, but I thought it was 'urgent'. So far, it doesn't seem to be so." she spat through gritted teeth, keeping her cold tone calm and low. She seemed to lose her cool way too quickly today.
The emerald eyed woman remained unperturbed by the small outburst, as she slightly waved the paper at Nao's direction.
"It's part of the rules, yes? It provides information about me. I don't see what the problem is."
Nao bit on her own tongue to stop a witty remark coming out and, instead, snatched the paper out of the woman's hand. She looked at the top right corner. June 8th, 2006…
"This file is more than five years old, not even made in this city... You do know that I would need current and valid psychological information in order to accept you as my patient, right?" Nao said maliciously and resisted the urge to grin. If this chick was such a goody two-shoes that stuck to the norms, maybe she'd leave the doctor alone for now…
"Nothing has really changed since then. I will tell you the rest, if you would just take a look." The woman replied, as if what Nao had said had gone straight through her ears.
The red haired woman humphed, admitting the small defeat, and brought her eyes back down to the piece of paper.
As her eyes scanned what was written on it, her anger slowly evaporated, being replaced by mere curiosity.
The woman's name was Natsuki Kuga. By the time the file was made she had just started college, specializing herself in science and computer technology. That meant Nao's guess was right – they were both around the same age. There was some basic info about her family – her father was unidentified and her mother, a biologist from a rather wealthy family, had died in 'mysterious circumstances' ten years ago.
'Hmm, an orphan…' Nao thought, beginning to feel some sympathy for the woman, whom she had something in common with.
Some details about her performance in middle and high school… She had been a top student… excellent grades, no problems with the teachers in general, quite popular with her schoolmates... Although, the redhead noted, she had often been caught wandering around the school grounds instead of being in class. Her behavior had been labeled as sociopathic. She had had many admirers, but hadn't been seen to get closer to somebody specific.
That wasn't anything too unusual. Most of Nao's younger patients hadn't been very socially active in the first place.
Her interest increased as she reached the last couple of paragraphs of Kuga's file, those concerning her mental disorders. She had been noted to talk about 'paranormal events and mythical creatures'.
That was something Nao had rarely encountered in her (still quite short) career. She remembered having a patient who had claimed that he had been bitten by a… werewolf. The doctor had found out that he had been having hallucinations and the actual places where the flesh had, indeed, been ripped off, had been caused by none other but himself. He had been taken in an asylum for treatment. The last thing Nao had heard of him, had been the news that he had tried to kill one of the doctors assigned to take care of him…
Nao's eyes scrolled downwards and she raised a brow.
'This keeps getting better and better…'
'Through the course of five years (2002-2006) Natsuki Kuga has disappeared on more than one occasion for a few days, only to be found unconscious in different places without any memory of what had happened. Initial guess is that this is a random case of developed somnambulism. However, during her college days, after two of those sudden disappearances she had reappeared close to the murder site of two other girls (names respectively Mai Tokiha and Midori Sugiura), each of whom she had been suspected of having an intimate relationship with. These events occurred accordingly on April 12th, 2003, and February 15th, 2005. The cause of both girls' deaths remains unknown, with the only indication of murder being a red mark on both victims' necks – presumable the killer's signature (?). As of June 8th 2006 no evidence, proving Natsuki Kuga's guilt, has been found so no charges have been pressed.
There was a hand written note just at the end of the file that said 'The patient is considered to be mentally unstable and should remain under regular advisory by a capable psychiatrist.'
Nao lifted her gaze and looked thoughtfully at her patient. So, the chances were… she was either dealing with your average schizophrenic with a traumatizing childhood which probably involved the Boogeyman, as Nao liked to call that other side of her good old friend, the Obsessive-compulsive disorder, at some point… Ooor the woman was a potentially dangerous killer… traumatizing childhood and all the good stuff included. Either way this case was pretty unique and, even if the redhead disliked her job, she definitely liked a challenge.
"Tell me, Miss Kuga—" she began, not completely sure how to begin her conversation with the other woman who hadn't seemed to follow her actions and was just staring blankly at the ceiling. Her body was tense, like a corded string, but it didn't look like she realized that herself.
"Just Natsuki." The woman cut her off, playing with the end of her sleeve.
"Alright, Natsuki… did you ever come back to my colleague, whoever they are, to receive… 'advisory'?"
"No… unfortunately, he was found dead about a month after my first visit."
Nao was caught off guard and it took her a second to recollect herself. After an awkward cough she parted her lips.
"There have been an awful lot of deaths throughout your life…" she murmured.
This seemed to cause a sudden outburst of different emotions on the other woman's face. She turned her head to the side and looked directly into Nao's eyes.
"I'm here to… tell you about what happened to me…"
Nao nodded and leaned back on her chair expectantly. She couldn't lie to herself. She was interested in learning more about this Natsuki Kuga.
The raven haired woman shook her head.
"Don't get me wrong. I… I'm not like your other patients. I don't want your help in any form. I just want to let all out, to get rid of this burden."
"Burden?"
She was quiet for a moment.
"I can't confess to a priest… I'm neither a firm believer nor do I think I'd be taken seriously. I can't turn to a lawyer because I haven't broken any laws. My only sin is that I was the reason for all those deaths… Many of them aren't even listed on that paper… I killed them, all of them." She closed her mouth then to let the words sink in, the swirling pain behind her eyes betraying her cold, expressionless face.
Nao took advantage of the momentary silence to process what Kuga had just said. Was this a regretful murderer's confession? Or was it a madwoman's incoherent words with no real meaning? Or maybe something entirely else, something Nao had never encountered before.
"Do you mean… you killed them like that, with your bare hands? How is that 'not breaking the law'?" asked Nao.
"No…" Kuga replied and waved her palm impatiently. "It was my fault."
"Tell me." Nao requested.
The brunette nodded and was just about to say something, but her attention suddenly turned to something behind Nao's chair. Judging by her gaze she was looking at where the window was.
"What's the matter?"
"The window…" Kuga whispered.
"Yes?"
She didn't really answer. A look of fright and… suspicion was displayed on her face.
Nao glanced backward. By the way Kuga was looking at it she almost expected to see someone spying on them from the other side. She couldn't see anything other than darkness through the blinds though.
"Would you like me to open it or something?"
"Just in case…" she other woman murmured, mostly to herself.
The doctor got up. She then walked to where the window was at and did as she was silently asked.
The view wasn't any different than before. It had gotten completely dark and there still wasn't a living soul. There was nothing out of the ordinary.
"Happy?" she asked, hoping that Kuga wasn't suffering from any kind of phobias. That would only make things complicated.
"Yeah…" came the reply and the woman visibly relaxed on the couch, but her fists were glued to her sides, the nails digging into the skin so hard to the point where her knuckles were white.
The redhead retreated back to her chair and carefully examined her patient's face. Her features were stiff and distant… and, for unknown reasons, made Nao feel slightly uncomfortable.
"So… You were saying that… there were others?"
A nod.
"I tried to keep myself away from people after everything that happened in High school… but it wouldn't let me... Chie and Aoi were found dead, together, in their own bed… The investigators couldn't find anything and, of course, resorted to lies. Gas leak, they concluded. Can you imagine? A bunch of naïve pricks…" she seemed to have completely forgotten about Nao and was talking to no one in particular. "I knew the truth though… But I never told anyone."
The doctor was confused. None of this was making any sense to her.
"Why?" she asked, not quite sure how to approach the situation. She had too many questions, not only regarding what Kuga had said, but also her file. What were those 'mythical creatures'? Had something happened during her childhood? What the hell was going on?
"Do you think I'm stupid? Because they wouldn't believe me! Not even after Youko and Takeda died!" the other woman hissed and snapped her eyes at the redhead, her eyes sparking with anger, which Nao couldn't determine whom it was directed to. "Because they would have just locked me in a madhouse, instead of sending me to one of you!"
Nao frowned deeply and put all her mental strength into suppressing her own anger that had quickly fueled through her body. She hated the term 'madhouse'. She vaguely remembered the first time a guy from her class had made a joke out of her mother about that. Nao had broken his nose then, earning herself a painful beating from his pals that same week. It had been the first of many fights she later got into in Elementary and Secondary school. She had proven to be quite a troublesome kid. Those years were hard for her and pretty much determined her dislike for men.
"Well then, Miss Kuga." She spoke through gritted teeth, "If you seem to hate my… kind so much, why are you still here?"
The other woman seemingly realized her mistake and rested back her head on the soft cushion. She didn't apologize though.
As for Nao… The doctor was torn between giving in to the urge to throw this brat out and the strange need to... hear her out. She wasn't used to this feeling.
'After this, I'm taking a long rest.'
A minute of silence passed. Nao was starting to grow annoyed by the other woman's silence, she needed to gather her thoughts…
"Go ahead."
"What?" Nao asked, a bit taken aback.
"Your fingers are twitching... My mother used to do that when she was nervous and wanted a smoke. And I noticed the lighter on your desk too. Help yourself out." Kuga motioned with her hand, her gaze avoiding the doctor still. The blank expression was back on her face.
"It would be unprofessional... in the presence of my patient." The red haired woman replied as, ironically, her fingers started reaching for her pocket.
"I don't mind… And, besides," the emerald eyed woman murmured as her eyes turned to the young psychiatrist with a softened gaze "I think I'm different than your other patients, wouldn't you agree?"
Click.
Nao waited for the sharp smell of nicotine to reach her nostrils and threw the lighter back on her desk, pulling the ashtray closer to her elbow in the process. After a deep inhale she opened her lips, the thick cloud of smoke leaving her lungs.
"You have… captured my interest, I admit."
"Good to know… " Kuga uttered before tiredly rubbing her eyes. "Maybe… I should start from the very beginning… Tell you about my life so you'd understand…"
Nao glanced at the clock. Half past seven.
'Ah, screw it.'
"I won't be going to bed any time soon, it seems… " A quiet sigh, "I'm at your disposal for this evening... Natsuki." She said with a hint of sarcasm, but on the inside, she was curious. It looked like they had reached some form of a mutual agreement.
Natsuki Kuga nodded and closed her eyes, taking a deep breath, and massaged her temples to clear her mind.
When the dark haired woman parted her lips to speak Nao sensed a certain… presence… not one in physical form, but of a more… mental nature. She suddenly felt very cold and unsafe, as if someone, whom she could not see or hear, had set their predatory gaze on the nape of her neck. She shivered and leaned further back into the chair, which seemed very warm all of the sudden.
Whatever that had been… One thing was for certain, she mused… It had something to do with her visitor.
Author's Notes: So, umm, what do you think? If there's interest in something like this I will definitely continue it. Please, if you have the time, let me know about your thoughts by leaving a review. Criticism is appreciated :)