A/N: This is my first attempt at a song fic, so I'd really appreciate nay suggestions/constructive criticisms you all have to offer. This is based on Kelly Clarkson's Addicted. The POV starts by switching from Cuddy to House, and then the single paragraphs could be either's POV (or rather both saying the same thing). Hope you enjoy it and please review on your way out!
Disclaimer: I do not own House, the characters, the song Addicted or Kelly Clarkson (but oh the money I'd make if I did!). No infringement intended, all in good fun
It's like you're a drug—
Gregory House is a force all of his own. He is compelling and manipulative, weaving a web of half-truths and facts that tangle together and pull me along for whatever crazy ride on which he wants to take me. His eyes emulate a mischievous sparkle as his cunning voice drips over me like honey, wrapping ever so sweetly around my senses. He is dangerous and I should walk away, but the desire, the need, the temptation is greater. It's like staring at a pill sitting harmlessly on a table, taunting and innocent, and before walking away is even an option, there is already a glass of water in my hand and he is coursing through my veins again. He is a glorious high, a whole experience full of endless colors, and I cannot help but feel deliriously alive.
HCHCHCHCHC
Lisa Cuddy radiates a life force like nothing I can ever comprehend. She is strong and compassionate, a strict leader with an undercurrent of understanding and a flash of femininity that has me always entranced. Her eyes flash a smoky shade as she lures me into her, ensnaring my senses temptuously with her whiskey-like ways. The seductive sway of her hips combined with the challenging bite to her words captivates me in a way that none other has ever mastered. It is a completely intoxicating experience, with a feverish fire and icy sharpness that leaves me feeling more human, more aware, more alive.
It's like you're a demon I can't face down—
He is always there to point out my faults, to drive the spike a little deeper then stand back and make sure the blood runs thicker. It should be a damning characteristic, something I should hate and resent him for doing, for being. Yet, there is a momentary shine hidden beneath this black trait- motivation. He pushes me, challenges me, always makes sure I am being the very best I can be, the best he knows I always expect from myself. He has become like an inner shadow, a haunting driving force behind most anything I undertake.
HCHCHCHCHC
She is never far from the forefront of my thoughts. Her drive and determination in my basic day-to-day existence is not matched by another. When the pain has all but consumed me and all the other dark thoughts are swarming inside my head, her ebony mane and blinding blues are the shadowy force that keeps me grounded. Her actions overtime, the constant battle to make me a decent human being eclipse the temptation to teeter off the edge completely. No matter how hard I push, there she is, like an innate part of me from which I cannot turn away.
And I know, I let you have all the power—
One would think that a woman in my position of authority would not allow someone like the terrible Dr. House have any sort of power over her. They would all be wrong, manipulated and fooled by the delicate dance we perform on a daily basis. We are both forces that cannot be dominated; strong, fierce and independent creatures who know how to get what we want by flipping the blinders up to shut the rest of the world out of our complicated demeanor. However, the result of our collision of force and manipulation, that began crashing back when we were both still in school, is a total surrender, yet absolute gain of power against the other. We understand each other in a way that no one else seems to touch. No one else has ever had me so figured out that at times it is as if he owns me, and can predict what I will do before I do it. It is with this understanding that respect, trust, and an unbreakable bond of friendship forms. His thorough knowledge gives him that power over me, and it is because of the equal clout I hold over him that allows my willing surrender of it, no matter how wrong, dangerous or destructive it may seem.
HCHCHCHCHC
She is the only one who can rein my ferocious persona, like a lion tamer brandishing a chair and fierce biting whip. Everyone may believe that I answer to no one, that my carelessness will cease for no man, but there is but one woman. One that knows me as deeply and securely as I understand her, giving her the leverage I hold over her, over me. She is the one I can go to for anything, the one who knows and understands any craziness I may dish out, who sees my weaknesses and is aware of my strengths, and thinks no differently of me for either of them. Every intrinsic step we take is a power play, our desires to finally trump the other are futile we both know, but it is because we know, and we try all the same that keeps us on an even playing field.
I realize I'm never going to quit you over time—
I have known Greg for over twenty years now. He has strung me along through his outlandish schemes, seduced me with his hazy charms, blasted me with his brilliance, broke me with his pain, bound me with his guilt, and touched me with his subtle sentiment. So many phases, colors, feelings, and seasons have blown through and defined our relationship. Although it has never been easy, never been a carefree luxury, it has been a twisted indulgence that is a comfort within itself if for no other reason than it has been constant. No matter what insanity has blasted though our lives and shaken us to the core, we are still here, still connected, still fighting with a blazing passion dancing behind our eyes. It's something that I have finally realized and accepted as permanent.
HCHCHCHCHC
The unquenchable thirst for her presence in my life, still now after all this time, has made me aware of her never-ending permanence. It is as if hot lava wound its way around us all those years ago, igniting our sparring personalities and locking us together in an explosive unbreakable future. To me she is like one of those annoying catchy songs that flitter through your senses and lodge themselves annoyingly within you. You catch yourself thinking of it when you should be focused on other things, humming the entertaining tune down the halls, singing the fun words quietly in the shower, cursing its constant presence, yet hopelessly loving it all the while. She is one that cannot help but leave an impression and I have come to realize that her impression on my life is deep and lasting, one that I only encourage and probably have since we first met.
It's like I can't breathe—
The heavy weight of a demanding job filled with long hours and low social time chokes me wherever I turn. I am boxed in by the career path I chose, forced to accept the harsh reality that it has hardened me in a way that few others, if any, accept. You are the life forces that pushes air into my lungs again when the stresses of being a doctor have left me deflated. You, who sought out this life with the same vigor keep me floating above the surface when it all becomes too much to bear.
It's like I can't see anything—
When all colors seem to fade from their vibrant flavors into dusky half tones, and shapes' crisp edges skew into a fuzzy focus, it is always surprisingly you that shakes my world and rights it again. You are always rich and demanding, whether it be meaningless tasks or emotional challenges. Everything in life seems to fade from time to time, but you always remain bright, focused, and sharp in your personal unique way.
Nothing but you—
You bring a fresh splash of color to the grayish tones that encase the world. Taunt for taunt, sly smile to malicious glare, and every wise crack that lashes from your delectable mouth burns away the haze that settles in your absence. In a day full of mundane your eyes flash a vivid wave of refreshment that has been crashing over me for far too long for me not to take a dive into the enticing watery depths.
I'm addicted to you—
You are a devilishly delectable nectar, sinfully sweet, that one's tongue cannot help but lap up, causing the taste buds to jump alive in a gripping ferocity that is impossible to ignore. My need for this dangerously decadent treat has only intensified over the years, blinding my senses in need for what only you can provide.
I'm hooked on you—
Desire, need, hunger, lust, it courses through my veins, igniting them with a feverish fiery pitch whenever you are near. The thrill is so sweetly addictive it leaves a void that nothing but you could ever fill. The pull that draws me too you runs deep, like a dark secret that is constantly clawing to get out.
I need a fix I can't take it—
You have become an undeniable desire. So much of you has been absorbed into my skin over the years, thickening and softening it, caressing and lashing out against it, stripping it down and stitching it back up again. You are a necessity that nothing else can stifle, an essential to maintaining my sanity.
Just one more hit I promise I can deal with—
We play with fire just because we like to feel the burning licks of the flames caress and singe our senses. You know it and I know it, yet we both fear for the other, sometimes trying to deny the other the pleasurable torture to try and avoid causing them the pain.
You've taken over me—
You infiltrate my thoughts and actions with your explosive personality and witticism. I have absorbed you into me, your mannerisms, your personality, your very essence has ebbed its way into my soul, thrashing wildly throughout my body in complete domination. You are so much a part of me now; nothing could ever expel your overpowering presence.
It's like I'm not me—
When you are not there to interrupt my day, I feel less like myself. In some twisted way, I need you. Like it or not you have become a part of me, and given the chance, I am not sure I would ever change that fact. You make me a better version of myself. Your stubborn, challenging and controlling ways have pushed me to heights unattainable on my own. You have made me, me.
It's like I'm not me—
…without you.
Hit the purple button on your way out please!!
