Disclaimer: I don't own Firefly or any of its characters. I wish I did, but if wishes were horses… well Jayne would be happy.

Author's note: Italics are flashbacks.

Chapter 1

It had been three months to the day that Simon's world had changed forever. He woke up with that thought on his mind. He lay in his bunk thinking back to that day, the feel of Kaylee's warm body next to his and the clean smell of her hair in his nostrils was a slight comfort as he remembered that morning.

It was just a small job, dropping a few crates of cargo onto some dusty moon on the rim. Something the crew had done a thousand times before today. Mal, Jayne, and Simon were stacking the crates on the ground while Zoë spoke with the farmer who had ordered the shipment of seeds that they were delivering.

Simon clearly remembered looking over at Zoë and smiling, even with the grief of losing her husband only five months before she looked radiant. Her face had that glow that people talked about pregnant women having and every minute or so her hand would move to caress her expanding belly. Everyone on Serenity was excited about the baby, losing two of their own had been so painful and the prospect of new life was a comfort and source of pleasure for them all, even Mal who was still grumbling about how babies didn't belong on a spaceship.

Suddenly a large man came galloping up on a horse. He was tall and wearing a large black duster and had a large brimmed hat pulled down so that it obscured almost all of his facial features.

"Zoë Alleyne a little birdie back in town told me that you were here making a drop but I didn't really believe it was you till just now. Looks like you got yourself knocked up then huh? Well ain't that just perfect after what you done to me ya damn bitch!"

It was then that the man pulled his hat back to reveal his face. As soon as his features became clear Zoë swore and reached for the spot where her gun usually hung, forgetting that she had been forced to stop wearing her holster because it no longer fit around her waistline.

Simon heard the noise first and still had no idea how he managed to be faster than both Mal and Jayne, they were the ones trained to deal with stuff like this not him. But Simon heard a slight pop and glanced over to see the large man clutching a round metal ball behind his back. Almost as soon as Simon heard the noise he saw the large man's arm reach back to throw the small metal ball clenched in his fist. Without thinking twice Simon dove towards Zoë and pushed her out of the way before landing on the ground himself. It was less than a second later when Simon looked up and was able to catch the quickest glimpse of the metal ball landing directly in front of his face and then his world exploded into a searing white light and then darkness.

When Simon woke up he knew he was in the infirmary, the clean medicinal smell was one he knew well. He tried to open his eyes, but found that he couldn't get them to open. He reached his hand up and found that his eyes had been wrapped in gauze, which explained why he was having problems opening them.

"Hey Simon try and hold still ok? You were hurt pretty bad but we got you to the infirmary and patched you up." Mal told him reassuringly as he pushed Simon's hand back down to the bed.

"Zoë? Is Zoë ok? I pushed her and she hit the ground, is the baby alright?" Simon questioned remembering his last glimpse of Zoë hitting the ground.

"Zoë's fine, she's laying down in her room but her and the baby are both ok." This time it was Kaylee who spoke to him, it sounded like she had been crying. He heard her move to his side and felt the comforting stroke of her hand running through his hair.

"What happened? Who was that man and what the hell was that thing he threw at Zoë?" Simon questioned trying to sit up but being forced back down to the table by a pair of strong hands.

"The man was Zachary Jones. He was in Zoë's first platoon in the war." Mal answered.

"So if they were in the army together why did he try to kill her?" Kaylee asked.

"I never got all the details from Zoë but I guess one night he tried something with Zoë and she stopped him." Mal answered vaguely.

"He tried to…" Kaylee trailed off.

"Yeah he tried to rape her and from what Zoë says she took out her knife and stabbed him. Stabbed him in a place where, well lets just say he ain't capable of raping anyone ever again." Mal finished uncomfortably.

"Ok I get why he was so mad at her now, but what was that thing he threw that blew up in my face?" Simon questioned. The silence that followed filled his stomach with a cold dread.

"Please would someone just answer me? I've got my eyes all bandaged up so I can't see anything, it would really help if someone would just tell me what's going on." Simon said beginning to sound angry and afraid as he sat up on the bed once again.

"Ok Simon relax, I know you're the doctor and all but I would bet money that you have a pretty bad concussion so I don't think you should be movin a whole lot or getting upset." Mal replied sternly but gently. Simon once again allowed himself to be pushed down onto the bed and took a deep breath as he waited for an explanation.

"It was a nova bomb. Kinda like a flash bomb, but a hell of a lot brighter and without the noise. We used ta use em at night, temporarily blind the enemy, create confusion that sorta thing." Mal answered.

"So if they aren't deadly why do you sound so upset? What's wrong with me?" Simon asked, the doctor part of his mind was already coming to the conclusion on its own, but trying to deny what he suspected anyway.

"Simon nova bombs are meant to be used on a group of people, their range is usually about twenty feet away from the target, this one went off less than a foot from you. It sent you flying about ten feet right into Serenity, you hit your head really hard on the hull and well your eyes…" Mal trailed off.

"Mal whatever it is just tell me." Simon said growing impatient with the captain for dancing around the issue.

"Look Simon I'm not a doctor, that's your job. But I knew a guy once who had a nova bomb go off in his face accidentally, I'm just going off what happened to him." Mal tried to explain.

"Well what happened to him?" Simon asked. The doctor in him was already making a diagnosis; a flash of light that bright directly into the eyes would cause scarring of the cornea and the pupils to constrict too fast, causing a tearing of the retinas. Retinal detachment could be fixed in most cases if surgery was performed within a few hours of the injury, after that a lack of blood flow to the severed retinas would make them useless and the only treatment for severe corneal scarring was a complete eye transplant.

"How long have I been out?" Simon asked breaking the silence since the captain still hadn't answered his last question.

"You been out about six hours, we were gonna take you to the medical outpost on Greenleaf, but you were stable and I don't think there's much they could do for you there that we couldn't do here on Serenity. Plus there's an Alliance cruiser in orbit, so we couldn't take ya in there anyway." Mal answered quietly. "And well I'm not sure if…" Mal trailed off again.

"You don't think there's anything a doctor could do anyway right?" Simon interrupted, his voice beginning to tremble slightly.

"Look Simon lets just take off the bandages and see what we got ok? Maybe that bomb didn't do too much damage or maybe you closed your eyes right before it went off. Everything is probably just shiny." Kaylee added then in her cheery tone, but Simon knew her well enough now to tell when she was using her cheerfulness to mask pain and worry.

Simon felt Kaylee lean over him and press her warm lips to his own. She then helped him into a sitting position and he felt her hands begin to unwind the bandages from around his head. He drew in a breath as the air hit the large cut on the back of his head, causing it to sting.

"Ok Simon go ahead and open your eyes…"