I could die. From Happiness? Sorrow? Both? Yes that's right, both. But how could this have happened. I'm certain we were safe. Oh, God, weren't we? I was so caught up, I can't remember. I replayed the moment in my head, over and over again. We went from the couch to the wall to the bed. Couch, wall, bed. Couch, wall, bed. Couch, wall, bed. Couch, bed- no wall, bed. But as much as I do this I can't, for the life of me, remember for sure. It's perfectly normal to miss a month. Two isn't so, I'll just wait another month. Another 31 days. 31 long days. That will be May 7th. OK I'll just mark it on my calendar. But I already knew without waiting. Inside of me a baby grew. Merlin, what have I gotten myself into?
A big mess that's what. Not only am I unmarried, but the father of my child-to-be is a secret. No one knows about 'us'. No one can know about 'us'. I never even dreamed of 'being' with my professor. It just happened. Eric, erm I mean Professor Robertson, is drop-dead gorgeous. He's perfect. Silky black hair that touches his square jaw bone. 5 o'clock stubble. Striking blue eyes that simply make me melt inside. I'm not the only girl attracted to him. Hell, he gives Sirius Black a run for his money. But I am the girl who is with him. Now, as I think about him, my heart beats furiously.
Merlin, I hope our child has ALL of his features and none of mine. I shudder at the thought of having a child who is like a clone of me. Same ugly brown eyes. Same straight brown hair with no personality whatsoever . I want a child with is raven black hair and breath-taking eyes. Our child. How weird is that. I'm going to be a…..a mother. The words seemed to roll off my tongue as I said them out loud.
"I'm going to be a mother." I hope no hears me, but I'm all alone. No worries.
I start to wonder how Eric will react to all of this. Will he be happy? Or sad? Or both like me? Or will he call me a slut, and say that it certainly isn't his? No, not Eric. He wouldn't do that. He loves me and I love him. We are one. Nothing can come between us.
Nothing.
It all started at the beginning of my 7th and final year at Hogwarts. Dumbledore decided that we needed some….. culture? What that the word he used? Anyway, this 'culture' is a poetry class. Poetry. Beautiful, meaningful, poetry. Boring, confusing, poetry. Poetry.
I first saw him on platform 9¾, leaning against the brick wall……
Kings Cross 1977, September 1st
I pushed my trolley with vigor trying to make it through the barrier in time. I glanced down at my watch. 10:40. Good, I thought, still have about 20 minutes left. I looked over my shoulder making sure no muggles were watching. Feeling safe I ran through the bricks. As soon as I was through, I started my way to the train, hoping to get a compartment without the Marauders. I glanced to my left and right looking for them. I spotted them not 5 meters away from me, laughing at something. Or someone. I rolled my eyes and moved on. Not really noticing where I was going I ran into a girl.
"Oh, jeez. I'm so sorry." I gasped as I helped her up. I gawked when I saw who it was. Alice Summers. But it surely couldn't be her. Alice had visible acne everywhere, and short bob-cut hair. The girl standing in front of me had very fair clear skin and had long beautiful curly blond hair. She wore jeans and a tee shirt that looked a size too big. It suited her perfectly. I shut my mouth instantly realizing it had opened slightly. "Alice, is that you?"
She nodded, beaming. "The one and only. How was your summer?"
"Just fine. Yours?" I lied, praying that I had gotten better at it. Apparently I had.
"Great, I spent it mainly with my sister in Greece." She flipped her hair back catching many boy's eyes.
"Really? I'm jealous. I always wanted to go there." I helped her pick up the books that fell from her hands when I ran into her. As I was getting back up, I noticed a man leaning across one of the brick walls. He wore muggle sunglasses and his long legs were crossed over one another, his hands stuffed into his jean pockets. He seemed to be observing people. I grabbed Alice's shoulder, which came to up my chin. "Who is that?" I asked nodding towards the man.
She seemed to be taken by surprise. "I'm not sure. An older brother maybe? Certainly not a student. Or a father. Hmm…… Oh great. It seems that The Cobra has found her prey."
I looked at the man again. And sure enough, Narcissa Black made her way over to him. She smile her white smile, as she began talking to him. He must have said something funny, because she started laughing. Her nose crinkled up as she asked a question. He answered. Her smile fell considerably at what he said. She shook his hand, surprising me and Alice, and left.
"Well that was odd." I muttered. Alice nodded in agreement. The train's 5 minute horn blew.
"We'd better get going." Alice suggested. I followed her taking quick glances at the young man, wondering what he could have said to offend Black.
Once we were in the train Alice and I parted. She had a friend in Hufflepuff who she promised she would sit with. I searched for an empty compartment. Finally I found one far in the back. I was very comfortable on the plush brown seats. I stared out the window, watching kids bid adieu to their parents. A tear threatened to escape me eye, but I forcefully blinked it away.
I heard the final whistle. Closing my eyes I thought of the man, wondering who his.
Suddenly the door of my compartment flew open. I knew who it was before I opened my eyes. The Marauders. I grumbled a little and pretended to be a sleep, so they might leave. No such luck.
"Well hello Orna, dear. How are you this glorious day?" I gave up on my pitiful attempts and opened my eyes. Sirius Black stood before me. In one swift motion he took my hand and kissed it. I yanked it back.
"I was doing fine, Black. Of course that was until you showed up." I took the elastic from my wrist and pulled my hair back into a ponytail.
Sirius put a hand up to his heart, mock sadness filled his eyes. "Merlin Orna, that hurt." He staggered back onto the seat behind him. I glared at Pettigrew who was laughing tremendously. He stopped immediately. I looked over to Remus, the most tolerable of the four, and smiled. Remus and I had been the best of friends since 1st year, when some Slythereins called me a mudblood and he fired jelly legs jinx at them.
"Hello Orabella." He said softly. He was the only person who didn't call me Orna. Orabella is my real name, it's just that when I was younger I couldn't pronounce my name correctly and always said Ornabella. My father shortened it and called me Orna. It been that way ever since. He told me for the first time last year, why he called me Orabella. He said that it meant beautiful and that I was beautiful. That was when I kissed him. It was short, but sweet. It didn't change anything between us. Well anything to me anyway. It was just like kissing my brother.
"Hi Remus!" I jumped up and threw my arms around his neck. He wrapped his arms around my waist. We pulled apart at the same time and I kissed his cheek. "How have you been?" I asked as we sat down.
I ignored Sirius when he whined, "Oh, you'll be nice to him."
"Good. I learned how to control him a little better." He said referring to the beast inside of him. I frowned remembering how he used to have the worst temper when the wolf inside of him would show it's appearance. He went on. "My grandfather is terribly ill though." I gasped. Remus loves his grandfather. More than any of his other relatives. Even his mum.
"Oh my God. I'm so sorry Remus. How old is he again?"
"Still very young for a wizard. Only 100." He gave me a small smile. "Don't worry. He's getting better." It was quiet for a moment. Even Sirius stopped mumbling. Then I realized why it was so quiet.
"Where's James?" I thought for a moment. Sirius gave me a sad look. "No. He couldn't. Could he? How did that happen? He's the most annoying, arrogant prat in the school! Besides you, of course. Dumbledore must have gone off his rocker, making him Head Boy."
Peter smiled. "Guess who's Head Girl."
My jaw dropped. "Lily?" They nodded. Sirius sniffed, pretending to cry. "Our little Prongsie, might just be getting that fearsome Evans this year."
"Oh stop your blubbering." I snapped, stifling my laughter. I lost. My laugh rang throughout the compartment. The look on the three Marauders faces, just made me laugh more. I always did this. I stated to cry, tears rolling down my red cheeks. I clutched my sides feeling them start to cramp. "Oh Merlin," I groaned, still laughing. Sirius got down on his knees, grabbed my shoulders with incredible force, pulled me down to him and bit my ear. I yelped in pain, but mostly shock. Then he kissed my ear.
"What the fuck was that for?" I said touching my ear. That wasn't the most shocking thing Sirius has ever done, but it was just weird.
"Well it got you to stop laughing." He shrugged. At that my whole body shook in silent laughter. "Oh c'mon what do I have to do? Kiss you?" I stopped.
"No. Anything, but that!" I covered my lips with my hand. Remus laughed beside of me. I playfully hit his arm.
"The girls tell me that I'm a very good snog, actually." Sirius huffed, crossing his arms over his chest, sitting between Remus and me. I rolled my eyes. The conversation that followed was mainly about all of our summers. I didn't say much. I was very tired. Before I knew it I was off in a dreamless sleep, laying across Sirius' chest.
I woke about 2 hours later at the sound of someone opening the compartment door. I looked around. Everyone was asleep. I realized that I was laying across Sirius. I almost gagged. Not only did I lay across him, but he wrapped his arm around my waist. He grumbled a little as I crawled out of his grasp. I hadn't thought of the man on the platform, until I saw him looking in our compartment. I jumped up and went over to him.
"Can I help you?" I asked politely, rubbing my eyes. I stepped out into the corridor with him. I noticed, with his sunglasses off, that his eyes were a electrifying blue.
"Oh sorry. Did I wake you?" He looked embarrassed. I laughed softly. He was American. Are all men from the States this cute?
"Yeah, but that's ok. I was about to wake up anyway." I smiled, knowing I looked like crap.
"Good. Good, well I was just going around asking if anyone had seen this little bunny. A second year girl lost it. So have you?" He looked like a little lost puppy. He's so cute. Oh my god, I must be drunk or something, the way I'm thinking. Trust me, I'm not usually like this.
"Erm… No, no I haven't. Sorry. But I'll let you know if I do." I noticed then, how tall I was next to him. Now, I know I'm taller than most girls at 5'10", but he was only about an inch taller than me. Damn, I felt like a giraffe.
"Oh, well that's ok. Thanks. I'll see you around." With that he turned, about to leave. I had to ask him.
"Wait," He turned, and his hair fell into his eyes. "Can I ask you something?"
"Uh, yeah sure."
"Erm…… Well I saw you earlier talking to Narcissa Black, and well I was just wondering what you said to make her leave like that."
"Oh, is she a friend of yours?"
I had to put all of my power into not laughing. "No, not at all. It's just that I've never seen her run away from a bloke so quickly."
"She must be the school slut than, huh?"
"Yeah, I guess you could say that." I agreed laughing. Am I flirting with this guy?
"Anyway, she asked me what I was doing there."
"And that would be?"
"I'm your new professor." He said simply.