AN: Re-uploaded. If there are some differences from the first time then it's because I only have the version written in my notebook and they were changes made in the typing process.
The definition of insanity is repeating and action over and over and expecting a different outcome each time.
That's exactly what I do. All the time. People just don't seem to realize exactly how crazy I am.
I do the same thing, all the time, over and over. I live in a cycle. I get an assignment. Then I hope, I foolishly allow myself to hope. I think to myself, maybe this is it, maybe we'll finally find what we've been searching for all this time. Maybe I can finally undo the wrong I did to my little brother so long ago. And when we finally arrive, all we find is some third-rate bastard frivolously breaking laws who knows less of the stone than we do, if he's ever heard of it.
And the worst part is, I keep doing it to myself. I keep getting my hopes up and thinking, 'This is finally it.' You'd think maybe I'd learn by now. After all I've been doing it knowingly for years.
People think I'm brave, noble, admirable even, the list goes on.
But I'm not. Not really. I'm not any of those things. I'm just so naive, so blindingly optimistic, that I think, maybe if I pour in enough blood and sweat, if I get up just one more time, I won't get knocked back on my ass again.
But I keep doing it. I keep picking myself up and I keep trying. And I will always keep getting up.
And I guess that makes me insane. By that definition I'm as crazy as they get. I'm insane. I'll gladly accept that title if it means I can keep hoping and keep believing there's a way I can save my little brother. I refuse to accept anything else. I know there's a way and I'll find it. I will scour every inch of this earth until my brother is back in the body he was born with or my heart stops beating.
I'm insane. This is a fact I know and accept and live with everyday. And I will continue to embrace this insanity until I can one day trade it for my brother.
AN: SO MANY SENTENCES STARTING WITH CONJUNCTIONS OH MY GOD IT HURTS TO LOOK AT IT. OVERZEALOUS COMMA USE HAVE I LEARNED NOTHING IN SCHOOL?