Disclaimer: I do not own shit.
Author's Note: This is dedicated to all those YuxSho\AlyssaxBates fans out there. Especially you, KazeTaco.
Only I Know Yu like You
I'm an asshole, I know. But you have to understand WHY I'm an asshole. I'm an asshole, because of what I've been through. I've had a horrible life... Heh... Life. Funny word. Considering I never had one. I was born Hikiragi Sho. I lived in a typical Japanese setting with my parents and brother. I was the eldest, only five years older then my brother, but he saw me more like a father then a brother.
My parents were priests. We lived in a small shrine on the outskirts of Kyoto. I was born in... seventeen... thirty I believe. Somewhere along those lines. It's been so long I forgot what I even looked like. In an effort to spread my legs some, I went off and joined the Japanese infantry when I was nineteen. My parents weren't too keen with it, but they honored my wishes.
That was when I lost it. Everything. I was sent to this tiny island to do some digging. Scientific stuff. I was to provide escort to a group of archaeologists. I had to be the unlucky son of a bitch to find that damn book.
It looked docile enough. It was a thick, heavy leather bound book with a crucifix on the cover. I found it, and what would you do with a book? Read it! So that's what I did! I opened it! Just opened the fuckin' thing! Nothing more! I don't remember what the words said. All I remember is a brilliant, bright flash of white light, and I was lying on a bed somewhere. Upon investigation, I had found myself in the body of a twenty seven year old woman. She worked at a meat processing plant. I feel the need to say she worked at a meat processing plant, because that happened to be where she died. She was closing down one night when a catwalk gave out. During the meat grinder's cool down cycle, she fell in, head-fucking-first. She died instantly, the lucky bitch. I, however... I felt every excruciating moment of the pain to follow. I had to suffer in that metal hell for sixteen hours before someone finally came to pull me out. Worst sixteen hours of my life, but I think you could have gathered that.
After they pulled me out, I awoke in the body of a police sergeant by the name of May Withers. I was only with her for... shit... twelve hours. She was called to a situation at a Napalm Processing Facility, and when she went in, a worker had opened a napalm valve right over her. She died. I suffered. She was dead within seconds, I was stuck a burning, smoldering corpse for over twelve days before the napalm finally wore off.
The others are a blur of short lives and painful, slow deaths. I can't remember them all, but I remember my last body very, very clearly.
Her name was Anne. She was an orphan. I can't remember exactly where it was, but it was cold, so probably in the north. When she was adopted, her and her friends... they're names were... ah, christ, I can't remember. But the important thing is, you wouldn't believe it, but that was the most painful death imaginable.
She was impaled by a pair of scissors and pushed through a glass window, fell two stories to the ground below. She died. I suffered. Again. As if killing her wasn't enough, the cockfag who did it felt the need to mutilate her body. She was already dead, and didn't feel it. I, however, felt every moment of it. All six days of pain and agony, before I was finally granted some rest.
And this brings us to my latest, and longest held body. Midoshima Yu is her name. She's a nice girl. Bit of a ditz, but I suppose 'nice', 'smart' and 'good looking' can't always go in the same sentence.
"Sho... are you talkin' to yourself again..." A soft voice spoke from my lips. I shook the previous monologue from my thoughts.
"Ugh... no. Nothing. Go back to sleep." I growled in fake aggitation. I heard her mutter something, felt her roll over, then doze off. Too close.
I suppose the reason I'm an ass is because I want to protect Yu. And, in protecting her, I can avoid another painful demise. My thoughts wander to various other things, and eventually, I, like Yu, find the peace of mind to fall asleep.
--Sometime that night--
"Your curse... has been... lifted..."
--Next Morning--
I was awoken by a sharp gust of cold air rushing across my body. I pulled my arms closer and shivered.
"Hey... Yu... wanna put some clothes on? It's cold in here..." I grumbled, yanking the covers up to my shoulders. I heard a little mumble, but nothing distinguishable. "Hey! Yu! Clothes! Put some on!" I barked again.
"Water'you talkin' bout, Sho... I am wearin'... I am wearin' clothes! You're jus bein' paranoid..." I heard her mutter.
"More like I'm just freezin' my freakin' ass off, here!" I replied, climbing out of bed, walking to her drawers.
"Just don't touch me okay..." I heard her mutter a distance away from me. It took me a bit for this fact to sink in. She spoke behind me... I opened my eyes and spun around. Curled comfortable in bed was Yu, the covers pulled all the way up. I walked carefully over to her and touched her. She didn't stir. I grinned. With a finger, I pulled the covers down slightly, then poked her in the breast. Instict kicked in, and she slapped herself.
"Stop hitting yourself." I spoke, smiling. She didn't say anything, just rolled over. I grinned.
--Later.--
I heard Yu stirring from the bed at about half-past nine. I had showered, washed up, and was now in the process of cooking breakfast. Of course, not having clothes of my own, I was forced to wear one of Yu's accursed skirts again. Oh, well. I suppose once more for old times sake wasn't too bad off.
"Uh... smoke... fire..." I heard her mumble. As a second action, she shot up. "FIRE!"
"Hey, hey, hey! Relax, huh? I thought I'd make you breakfast this morning." She started scanning the room, then came into the kitchen.
"Sho?!" She asked, slightly surprised.
"That's mah name!" I replied, flipping a waffle over in the pan.
"How..." She began.
"Dunno. But I don't look a gift horse in the mouth. Hungry?" I asked rather nonchalantly.
"When did you figure THIS out?"
"Early this morning. Here." I put the waffle on a plate, atop three others with eggs, bacon and sausage, and handed it to her. "Enjoy." She opened the drawer with the cutlery with a hand, never taking her eyes off of me. Fork and spoon in hand, she sat at the table.
After getting up to switch the spoon out with a knife, she finished her breakfast as I sat down to mine.
"I don't understand. When I went to bed last night, you and I were one... and now... What's going on?" She stared at the last remaining bits of syrup on her plate in a daze, thinking.
"I don't understand it either, but if this is real and perminant, can I ask a favor?"
"Sure, what's up?" I stood up and frilled the skirt out a little.
"Could we go shopping? Like, today?" I asked, sitting back down. Yu covered her mouth as she giggled.
"But you look so cute in a skirt! It fits you." I only rolled my eyes and finished my breakfast. She started looking me over.
"What?" I asked, placing my fork and knife side by side.
"You're... different... Nicer." She stared at me through slitted eyes. "Are you sure you're Sho?" She muttered. I smiled.
"Of course! I've been a right asshole to you, Yu, and I understand that. But there's a reason behind it. I've got a bit of a story behind me... care to hear it?"
"Sure!" She replied.
"Well..." I told her the story.
-Later-
"A-Are you serious! Oh my god! I didn't know the pain you went though. So... all those comments about me being a 'little shit'..."
"Simply my way of steering you away from danger. I'm sorry if I hurt you in any way."
"Oh, no. Those comments are what kept me safe during the Ghost Head incident... Thank you."
"Hey, no problem. But now that we're separate, looks like you and I are going our separate ways, huh?" I stood and collected the plates. "I'll be leaving shortly. Then I'll be out of your life." I took the plates into the kitchen and ran some water over them. From the table, I could have sworn that I heard sobbing. "Yu? Are you okay? Dammit, did you cut yourself on the napkin, again?!" I groaned.
"No... I..." She struggled though her tears. "I just... don't know how to live without you... four years together... and it's over... I feel like a dejected girlfriend..."
"Well, in my defense, we never were quite that close."
"But... We lived together! By all accounts... we were closer then husband and wife."
"Ah, Christ. Here comes the sob story..." I muttered, slapping my forehead with my palm. "Alright Yu. No bushwhacking. What do you want to say to me?" I sat down and gave her the stare down.
"Sho... What I want to say is that I love you... and I don't want you to leave... I never want you out of my life and I never did!" She stood and stared at the table, her head hung low. I simply blinked a few times.
"Come again?" I said simply. She ran around the table and hugged me.
"I love you, Sho!" She shouted, sobbing.
"I... I... I love you too..." I muttered softly. "Now please get off me..."
"No!" She barked in reply. I squinted. "Tell me that you'll not leave and I'll get off."
"I... I'm not going to leave you, Yu." Her grip tightened.
"I don't believe you!" I rolled my eyes and struggled to get oxygen.
"Damnit, Yu! I'm not going to leave you! For the love of Christ almighty, let me go!"
"I still don't believe you!" She continued. Her grip loosened, but it was still hell to breath. Mustering my strength, I pulled her away, stared her right in the eyes, and kissed her. Now, keep in mind, it's not that I like Yu at all, but some things have to be done if I wanted air anytime soon.
I held our kiss for a few seconds. She was the one to pull away.
"I'm not going to leave you, Yu. I mean it." I told her sternly. She looked at me like a cow stares at an oncoming train, her eyes glassy and starry, her lower lip trembling slightly. I smiled.
"I knew you loved me, Sho!" she shouted, kissing me again. Fuck! I thought to myself. She translated that SO the wrong way! Think, Sho, think! I continued. Ah, fuck it! I finally finished, giving in.
"You know..." Yu started, pulling away. I grunted. "I always wondered if... the reason you were always touching me at night... was because you were fascinated by me... Is that true?" I just sorta looked at Yu with a dumbfounded stare.
"Maybe. Maybe it's just because I like touching your breasts. Ever thought of that?"
"Yes, I did. But I don't think that's the reason..."
"And how'd you draw THAT conclusion. Sherlock Yu?" I continued, crossing my arms.
"Because. Whenever I have a shower, you always go to sleep. If you just liked touching me for the hell of it, you would have not done so." She smiled, rocking back and forth. I nodded.
"Hum.. touche..." I continued. "Maybe I just don't like prying into your private moments. Ever thought of that?"
"Yes. But I don't think that's the cause, either." Before I could say anything, she continued. "I drew THAT conclusion from the fact that you're awake whenever I'm sleeping, eating, shaving, you know, the OTHER private moments."
"FUCK! Got me..." I shouted, slamming my fist on my leg. "Alright, Yu. Ya got me. I am fascinated by you. But no more then any boy would be fascinated by any girl." I continued, taking a drink from my glass.
"Ah... so you want to have sex with me." This comment caused my gag reflex to kick in, causing me to choke on the water. I spit it out back into my cup quickly, wiped my mouth and replied very sternly.
"Fuggin... WHAT?!" Yu smiled.
"Well... you said you were fascinated by me no more then any boy would be fascinated by any girl... you want to have sex with me." She muttered. A slight blush crossed her face. I sighed. Poor choice of words, Sho buddy... I told myself.
"Look... That's not it..."
"You mean you don't want to have sex with me?" She continued.
"N-No! That's not it either..."
"Then you do!"
"W-H-Would you just LISTEN for a second, Yu?! Please?" I pleaded. She nodded. "It's not that I don't want to have sex with you. I just don't feel RIGHT doing it, you see?" Her eyes betrayed a question. "I don't feel right doing it because... because... I've known you for four years... and in my mind, you're still that little scared Yu I help out in the Tate house... I just... I don't feel clean even THINKING about it, let alone DOING it!" She nodded. There was a pause between us for a moment.
"You do know I'm eighteen now, right?" I slumped. All that which I just explained, she didn't understand.
"Yes... Yu. I know you're eighteen now. That's not the point! I don't feel right! Do you understand?!"
"Yes. You don't feel right having sex with me. So I'll have sex with you!" She smiled. I gagged again.
"Fuggin... what?! Did ANYTHING I just said sink into that thick skull of yours?! Or am I just talkin' to the air?!"
"It sunk in! I'll just have to catch you when you're asleep!"
"We have a word for that, Yu. It's called rape." I replied simply.
"Only if you say no all the time." I closed my eyes against the image. All I could see was Yu on top of me in the middle of the night... up... down...
"S-STOP IT!" I shouted, shaking my head. "I'm not going to have sex with you, Yu, and that's final!" I stood and walked away. "Note to self... don't fall asleep..." I continued. I heard Yu sobbing again behind me. "Oh, for CHRIST'S SAKE! Would you STOP the crying game, Yu! Jesus!" I spun around. She was standing, napkin in hand, crying like there's no tomorrow. I stared at her. Sighing heavily, I sat her down and crouched at her side. "Hey... hey... don't cry... Yu, don't cry... what's wrong? Come on, you can tell me..." I spoke softly.
"I just... I just... I've been saving myself for someone special... someone who cared for me... and they don't want anything to do with me..." She sobbed harder. The girl's good at the guilt trip, I'll give her that. I ran my hand up and down her back, trying to stop her crying.
"Listen, Yu... I do like you. It's not that I don't want to have anything to do with you... I just..." I sighed again. I couldn't find the words. Only one word could surmise my feelings. "FUCK! Fine! Good god! If you're gonna lay it on that thick, I will!"
"Will what?" She asked, looking up. All traces of tears gone from her face. I sighed and diverted my eyes.
"I'll... I'll..." I lowered my voice as low as I could get it and still have it audible. "I'll have sex with you..." She sprung up.
"I KNEW you'd give in! How about now?!" She asked. I fell over.
"W-WHAT?! Now?! Good god, woman, can't you wait til tonight?!" I stammered. She shook her head.
"Nope. Now, or I'll cry again."
"FUCK! Fine! Christ... talk about Guilt Trip." I muttered. She stood up and grabbed me by the collar. It was a bit of an uncomfortable perdicament, but I couldn't complain. I suppose, deep down, despite how much of a little girl I've always seen her as... there's always been a part of me waiting for this day. No matter how pedophiliac that sounds... I stood and followed her commands back to the bedroom.
I'll admit it, and have no shame in doing so. In the past four years, Yu has developed from a child flatter then a two by four, to quite the... hehe... 'sizable' woman, if you catch my meaning. I wouldn't say she had D cups... but I could probably be more then safe in saying they were Mid-to-Upper C's. They're the kind of pair you just wanna reach out and squeeze, ya know? Anyways, she had me by the collar and was leading me slowly to the bedroom.
She owned a small flat on the outskirts of Tokyo. It's two room, one bath, perfect for a one-person owner like what Yu and I used to be. There was a little kitchen and a small dining area, but other then that, the only interesting thing in this flat was the bedroom, which was decorated in a motif of a very popular survival horror series currently running in Japan. Complete with a large 'Clock Tower 2' poster over her bed with a picture of a grim-looking young girl on it, staring off into space.
She let me go when she reached to foot of the bed and unbuttoned her blouse, tossing it needlessly to the floor. Even though she says she's still 'fresh', I doubt that... those moves...
"Damnit, Yu! I told you those are MY movies!" I growled.
"Hey... my body, your mind. I can watch them if I want."
"Fu-uck!" I growled again. Yu's been in my porn collection. Again.
-Some Time Later-
I'll admit it, and have no shame in doing so. I've never seen ANYTHING in Yu. She's whiny, complaining, foolish, and sometimes down right stupid. She never thinks before doing anything, and most importantly, she's stubborn. It seems that, no matter what she does I have to help her with. It's quite a pathetic existence, really, where your entire life is dictated by an outside invader.
But...
There is ONE thing I saw in Yu. It took me four long years to do so, but finally... FINALLY I saw in her what she wanted me to see. I managed to look past her outside flaws and see her for what she was. A beautiful, talented woman who happens to have a few shortcomings. Sure, she's not THE most beautiful woman, or terribly talented, but the beauty and talent she does possess is unique, and special to her. And I don't think, if she was any different, that I'd like her as much as I do.
I also managed to over come one of MY shortcomings. I managed to look past the fourteen year old Yu I always saw her as, and realize that she HAS grown up. In more ways then one.
I can't say if this body of mine is permanent. I can't tell if I'll wake up tomorrow and be right back in Yu's body. I can't even tell if I'll wake up tomorrow. But what I do know, and know for sure, is that no matter what happens, fire, flood, sleet or snow, I'll always have a special place in my heart for that little angle sleeping next to me.
I guess... I guess when you really think about it, I'm not quite the asshole I thought I was...