If You Could See Now


Chapter 1: February 14th


It was February 14th,

Valentine's Day,

the roses came but they took you away.

Blaine gave a loud sigh as he surveyed the large property before him which now belonged to him. He found it hard to believe that just 6 months ago he was singing flirty Christmas songs with Kurt in the common room around an open fire. It was hard to believe that they had been discussing their graduation the following year. It was hard to believe that because of "forces beyond his control" he would be lucky to graduate at all.

The short brunette ran his fingers through his unruly hair; he hadn't had it cut since 'the incident' had happened and it was one of the little things he'd overlooked. He looked down at his phone when it vibrated with yet another message. 17 missed calls and 26 messages. Most of those were from Wes and David back at Dalton. Kurt had stopped calling now; during the first few months of his absence Kurt had called a dozen times a day and texted twice as much. After 4 months the messages had just stopped. From his weekly updates from his two favourite members of the council he'd learnt that Kurt had debated leaving Dalton and returning back to McKinley, he'd also heard that Kurt and Dave had met on the day of 'the incident' and that they had patched things up. He tried to ignore the jealousy that reared its head whenever he thought of them together, laughing together, joking together. The Warbler frontman knew that he didn't have the right to be jealous of mad at Kurt for making up with his ex-bully and he certainly didn't have the right to be mad that Kurt had stopped calling.


Kurt was sat in the senior common room with the other Warblers who were having a heated debate about which Rihanna song they should sing at their monthly showcase for the competing show choirs. He tapped his pen on the page as he let his mind wander back to the lead Warbler and where he had disappeared to. He knew where Blaine lived but he had been told by Wes and David that they had knocked on his door numerous times and that there was just no answer.

"I'm so sorry to interrupt guys, Ms Pilsbury and I really need a word with Kurt."
Kurt looked up when he heard his name and eventually recognized who the voice belonged to before he looked up. It was his old choir master and the McKinley counsellor. What were they doing here? Maybe that's what Dave was trying to call about earlier. Ms Pilsbury looked like she'd been crying; this certainly didn't look good. He got to his feet and walked out after them to the Dean's office across the hall that looked like it had been vacated especially.
"Please sit down Kurt." The shy lady said when the door had been closed behind them. This definitely didn't look good. He complied and sat on the chair that faced the large oak desk. He looked between the couple and was confused when he saw that it appeared as though Mr Schuester had been crying as well. "It has come to our attention that you have been in touch with Dave Karofsky recently."

"Yes, but that's hardly a crime, is it? We sorted everything out between us and now I couldn't be happier to spend time with him." He argued, brows furrowing in confusion.
"No Kurt, that's fine, very good in fact. Mr Karofsky called us this morning from the hospital. Dave made an attempt on his life last night and he wrote a letter that insisted that you be informed and that he apologises for the pain that this might cause you." Ms Pilsbury choked out; each sentence sounding more and more disjointed as she finally finished speaking, turning to Will and burying her head in his chest as she sobbed quietly. Kurt looked between the two teachers as he let the information process. Suddenly as the realisation of their words hit him he felt like he couldn't breathe. The air was ripped from his lungs as he gasped for oxygen, anything that would make him stop feeling so dizzy. He pushed himself up from the chair and turned around to leave the room, stumbling in front of the door when he couldn't find the lack of oxygen and consciousness any longer. His old Spanish teacher leant down to hold onto him and help keep him sitting upright. The other member of staff rushed out to get Kurt's two best friends; Wes and David.

Kurt succumbed to the woozy feeling and his eyes fell shut briefly. His eyes snapped open when he felt a hand on his and another on his shoulder.
"Kurt, it's me, Wes. Can you hear me, buddy?" Wes said, helping Mr Scheuster to help the boy back into his seat as his eyes fluttered open again.
"You – lying." The younger boy managed to say, shaking vigorously as he rocked himself backwards and forwards. They couldn't be right; he couldn't lose both his best friends in less than 6 months. He couldn't.


Blaine had reverted to sitting in his sitting room and staring at a blank music composition book. He'd been trying to write a song for the last 3 weeks and nothing sounded right anymore. He leant back against the sofa and checked his phone when he saw that the number calling him wasn't in his contact list. He decided to answer but not say a word as he listened carefully, shocked by who had called him.
"Buddy, I know you haven't spoken to Kurt in a while, and Carole told me why. She was working at the hospital when they called it in. Mr Karofsky just called me to let me know that Dave attempted to take his own life and has been in a coma since they found him last night. They're telling Kurt as we speak and he really needs you to be there for him. That's all I wanted to say. Goodbye Blaine." The gruff voice on the other end disconnected the call as promised and Blaine stared at his phone. How had Burt got his number anyway?