COMING SOON TO FOX!
From the creators of the recently
aired "Conspiracy Theory: Did We Land on the Moon ?" comes
the most frightening and shocking program ever shown on national television.
The Fox network presents to you
"You Decide: Does the Boogey-Man Exist?"
Hear shocking eye-witness accounts!
[A small, 5 year old girl is looking into the camera as she is being interviewed by a female OFF-SCREEN REPORTER.]
OFF-SCREEN REPORTER
What did you see that night, Jenny?
[JENNY pauses a moment before answering]
JENNY
I....saw somfing under my bed, and it was orange and it had really
big feet and my Mommy and Daddy said I ate too much cookies and that's
why I saw it and-
OFF-SCREEN REPORTER
(Interrupting)
Did you get a better look Jenny? Did it attack you?
JENNY
(shaking her head avidly)
No...I fell off my bike.
See unbelievable yet true infrared photographs detailing every horrifying moment!
[A dark splotch is shown in a bigger dark splotch and a really old guy with glasses and a white labcoat stands next to it, nodding and pointing at the smaller splotch wisely.]
Your faith in everything will be tested!
[The camera suddenly cuts to a close-up of the old man and a red lens is over the camera so everything is tinted like blood. The man's voice is echoed as he speaks.]
OLD WISE GUY
The facts are undeniable. It's the Boogey-Man. And he's in JC Pennies
here, looting.
[The camera cuts again to a black-and-white shot of a girl that looks a lot like Jenny in bed. Her closet door is opening slowly and the camera is tilted at a crazy angle. The announcer cuts off the old man's voice.]
Could Your Own Children be in DANGER?! ?
[Suddenly "Dramatization" appears at the bottom and the closet bangs open. A scream is heard but the camera fades to black before anything can be seen.]
[Creepy music fades in and a close-up of Jenny is shown in black-and-white]
O.S. REPORTER
At night, alone in your bed...are you afraid for your life, Jenny?
JENNY
...Sometimes I go tinkle in the bed and Mommy and Daddy get mad at
me...
O.S. REPORTER
Does the Boogey-Man ever speak to you, Jenny?
JENNY
(shaking her head)
No.
O.S. REPORTER
No?
JENNY
No. He just farts. He goes tppppptthtthhh...
O.S. REPORTER
(dead-pan serious)
He goes tppppptthtthhh?
JENNY
(giggling)
Yeah and it smells really bad...
[The camera locks on Jenny and someone has colored red into her eyes digitally. The shot is now still and otherwise black-and-white]
FOX TELEVISION PRESENTS
"You Decide: Does the Boogey-Man Exist?"
Watch it...or go to sleep in your beds, never knowing for certain...
Also coming soon to Fox:
Conspiracy Theory: Did we Win World War II / Is Adolf Hitler still Alive?!?!
and
Conspiracy Theory: Are Black People Really Black, or are They Faking it in an Effort for World Domination?!?!
FOX: The Network for Intelligent Programming