Title: Childhood

Author: Rayshia

Fandom: Heart no Kuni no Alice

Genre: Angst, Horror

Rating: T

Pairings/Characters: Tweedle Dee, Tweedle Dum, Boris Airay, and Alice Liddel, Blood Dupre; no pairings

Suggested soundtrack: 菩提樹 by 月子天 (Bodaiju by Tsukiko Amano), 眠れる森 by 鏡音 リン・レン (The Sleeping Forest by Kagamine Rin and Len)

Warning(s): Character death, mature themes, angst, blood, self-mutilation, slight OOC, slight AU

PART I - TWIN

It isn't often that twins are born in the Kingdom of Heart, nevertheless healthy identical male twins. It's even rarer that such twins can be found among the faceless of the kingdom at the exact timing when the previous Twins resign from their position as roleholders. The twins chosen to take the role have to become role holders at a very young age. Preferably newborn, a month old at most. They have to be too young to know or remember anything, for whatever name or life they had before must disappear into nothing. Each generation, the two twins holding that role are nameless, only holding a title: Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum, the Bloody Twins. Every single game, it's the same. They have no other name besides that. The twins must be taken at a young age not only so they have no name, but also no past. For children were not meant to kill, it is not in their nature. The only way to turn a child into a murderer is to raise him as one.

Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum are four days old when they are taken away. They do not remember their father or mother, they do not remember any names besides the ones they have now, and they do not know any other life besides that of a role holder. They do not know of toys and games. Their toys are lethal tools of murder, and their games are better described as manslaughter. They do not know of lullabies and fairytales. Their lullabies are the sound of an axe slicing clean through its target or a bullet hitting its mark, and their fairytales are recounts and memories of their own homicidal achievements. Their father is bloodshed and their mother is the battlefield.

However, to them, this is all normal. After all, when they see the faceless children in the amusement park, laughing and playing like normal children do, it is of no consequence. The twins do not realize that they were once like that as well, young and innocent, hands free from bloodstains and hearts untainted by sadism. After all, for as long as the Bloody Twins remember, they have been role holders. They are different from the nameless, unimportant children. And that makes all the difference.

Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum do not understand why Alice onee-san's smile turns into an expression of surprise and concern when they ask her what the strange soft bear-resembling cushion she's given to them as a present is, asking if it's some sort of grenade or bomb in disguise. After all, "Teddy Bear" is such a strange name.

Later, after Alice onee-san has left, the twins cut it open just to see if it bleeds. They can't help but be disappointed that it doesn't.

Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum are ten years old when they first try cutting themselves. It's interesting to them. At first, it is simply out of curiosity. They have cut their opponents and victims many times before, and they have accidently been cut before whether while training or while fighting. However, they've never cut themselves before. They wonder how it feels like. Dum is braver and he goes first, sliding his edge of his axe along the skin of his upper arm, leaving a crimson trail in its wake. The red ruby blood that runs out of their opponents' wounds when they fight is always a beautiful sight, but it is even more enchanting to watch their own trickle down the pale skin. Dee insists that he goes next, and follows suit. Soon, both of them have identical lines of red dripping down their arms. The twins look each other in the eye, standing side by side, with eerily pleased grins on their faces. The cuts hurt, but they love it too much to stop. Besides, they've experienced much worse pain. This is nothing. The next time, they try different places. The wrists, the cheeks, the back, the fingers... And so the new game begins.

However to them, this is all normal. Their other games are no different after all. Killing is exciting, the feeling of power and achievement when you hear your opponent groveling and begging for mercy, the metallic smell of blood that fills the air, always their opponents', never theirs, and the sight of the victim's tense shoulders finally slacken as their life force leaves them in one fell swoop.

Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum do not understand why Alice onee-san is scared and flinches away when they ask her if they can test out their newest treasure on her. After all, the knife is sharper than the edges of their axes, it should be more fun for her, right? But when the newbie-hare and Boris 'save' her from them, they wonder why nobody else likes to play their game with them. They suppose that nobody else knows how to appreciate it.

Later, after Alice onee-san has left, they grin at each other and decide why not test out their special treasure on themselves. They can't help but be happy when they discover that it is, in fact, more fun when the blade is sharper.

Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum are sixteen when they first begin to split apart. Up till now, they have always been completely identical, save for several weapons preferences, as well as the colors of their eyes and uniform. It is difficult to think of them seperately, and nobody can even recall seeing them not together. However, it all changes. Dum notices that their hair is getting long, and suggests that they cut it. Their hair has never been that long, and the Red Twin intends to keep it in the same style that he has worn ever since they were young. However, while trimming his brother's hair, Dee comments that he might leave his hair long this time. Dum frowns and says that it doesn't sound like a good idea, after all, if he does, then the two of them won't look the same anymore. The blue-eyed twin coolly responds that maybe that isn't such a bad thing. So from that day onwards, Dee grows his hair out while Dum keeps his short.

However to them, this is all normal. Though they hate to ever think of it, they know that no two people can stay identical forever. Bonds never last. That is their nature. No matter how close they are to each other, there will come a time when things start to change, when they will have to seperate. They always have known it, but just never acknowledged it. At first people are shocked when they see the twins the next day, one with the same short hairdo that they have always had, and one with long, nearly shoulder length hair. It takes them a while to get used to the change, to get used to the twins not looking identical anymore, but they cope. It's then that others begin to notice the small differences. The way Dum's smile and laugh more rougish and coarse than his brother's, the way Dee is more graceful and delicate in his words and actions. They begin to notice how Dum is more bold and adventurous, the way he is more shrewd in business matters and cares more for hygiene, effeciency and tradition. They begin to see how Dee is more romantic and quick-witted, the way he is more bloodthirsty in combat and cares more for refinement, elegance and creativity. For once, they no longer see the twins as a set pair, but as seperate individuals.

Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum do not understand why Alice onee-san tells them that she's concerned, and that they don't seem like the twins she met when she first came to Wonderland. They didn't think that a simple hairstyle change would cause such a large reaction. They are still the same Tweedle Twins, aren't they? A mere haircut won't change that. Their identities haven't changed.

Later, after Alice onee-san has left, the twins stay silent for a while. They know exactly what she means. Their identity has not changed, but they themselves have.

PART II - BROTHER

Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum are twenty when they finally seperate. The tension that has always been there would have driven them apart sooner or later, but one final is the catalyst in their splitting. To the surprise of some, it isn't the rivalry for the affections of Alice Liddel. As beautiful and witty as she is, they can see that with all the other role holders so infatuated with her, she is clearly off limits to the likes of them. Besides, there is just far too much competition for her heart. After a while of pursuing, they simply gave up. The final straw that breaks the Bloody Twins apart is, ironically, an old photograph. The twins have not done anything fun together for a while, and the cluttered closet in the back corner of the room they used to share hasn't been touched in years. Some spring cleaning is in order, and so, instead of having the maids of the mansion clean it for them, they decide to sort out its contents together. Had they done this but five, six years earlier, it surely would have been full of laughter and conversation, of showing each other interesting things from ages ago and weapons and such they thought that they had lost a long time ago. However, now, there is nothing but tense, awkward silence between the two as they each sort through the various items cluttering up the space. All of a sudden, the two hands brush as they reach for the same item: An old, dusty picture frame. Dum hasn't been in their-no, Dee's room in about three years, ever since he moved out. However, they both recognize the picture perfectly. The photograph was taken roughly seven years ago, back when they were thirteen. It's a simple, happy photo of times long past. The faded piece of laminated paper inside the outdated frame shows a picture of two nearly identical boys, the only difference between them being the color of the eyes and clothing, Both of them are smiling as they stand with one on either side of a brunette girl in the center, each with an arm wrapped around her shoulders. Resting his head on top of hers is a boy older than the two others with purple hair and cat ears. In the picture, everyone looks happy.

But things have changed now. Staring at the photograph, then each other, a silent question without an answer is passed between them. What went wrong? Looking back towards the photo, Dee's gaze settles on the cat-eared boy with a wide grin on his face. This picture was obviously taken long before the power struggles and tension between the areas in Wonderland finally evolved into an all-out civil war. There was no way a friendship could branch two sides on a war, no matter how hard you tried. Communications with Boris had lessened more and more as the combat progressed, and finally ceased completely.

The last time the twins had saw him was when they met on the battlefield, a border dispute between the Amusement Park and the Hatters. As bloodthirsty as he was, it would be too hard for even Dee to engage Boris, so the two parties avoided confronting each other, not wanting to have to kill their friend. The last they saw of the Cat was when the purplette was cut down by the March Hare himself. Whether Boris survived or not, they never found out, but they certainly hadn't seen any sign of him afterwards.

Meanwhile, Dum brushes his hand over the girl in the picture. Alice Lidell resolved to remain neutral when the war broke out, and remained in the clock tower with Julius Monrey. Last news that the Hatters had heard about the neutral area was that it had been invaded and annexed by Vivaldi. Dum had also heard rumors, albeit unconfirmed ones, that the clockfixer had been killed by the Knight of Hearts, and that the Tower of Clover had been razed to the ground, burned to ashes along with its inhabitants. One could only hope that Peter White would have spared Alice out of his love for her.

Finally, both of them focus on the twins on either side of the photo. Themselves. They are certainly identical no longer. Dee's hair is much longer now, and he ties it up in a ponytail wig a blue ribbon. Dum's bangs are now clipped up with a pair of red and blue hairclips. They both sport smart-looking black suits instead of the silly striped uniform of their youths. Dee is the first to break the silence. "You're not the same person anymore."

His brother's suave answer is, "Neither are you."

There is silence again for a few minutes before Dee speaks again. "Lately, I've been thinking... I might join the red side. Vivaldi's been gaining more and more power... It's only a matter of time before she wins his war."

There is a loud sound as Dum slams his hands on the lid of a nearby trunk. "What? You want to betray Dupre and March? What are you thinking?" he yells at his twin.

Ice-cold blue eyes look away. "We owe them no loyalty. We're technically mercenaries. They just pay us to fight and guard their mansion. We're allowed to switch sides. Besides..." Dee clenched his fists and glances at the picture again. "March killed Boris. I will never forgive him for that."

The red twin is horrified at what his brother is saying, and conflicted crimson eyes swim with a dozen emotions. "But.."

This time it's Dee's turn to slam on the trunk lid. "But what? They don't care about us. Blood Dupre only sees us as another two people to fight for him. And the stupid hare killed-"

Before he can finish, Dum objects. "No! You don't know that Boris is dead!" Because it can't be true, he refuses to believe it. There is no proof that the Cat is dead... Right? There was no body or clock or anything to be found.

Dee grits his teeth and looks at the floor. He takes a deep breath before muttering something he had never planned to tell his brother. "... I have proof. The other day, before the neutral area was invaded, I sneaked into the Amusement Park because I wanted to see if Boris was okay... There was a new Cheshire Cat."

Time seems to stand still for both of them. Dum's mind seems to break down upon this sudden input of data. Boris Airay cannot be gone. It is simply against the rules of logic. The Amusement Park's Cat has survived so many reckless fights, so many battles, that it seems impossible for him to just kick the bucket like that. But... Dum looks at his twin, and sees the honesty in his eyes. As different as they are now, they can still tell when the other is lying. Dee is telling the truth.

The ponytailed twin puts a hand on his brother's shoulder, a gesture to bring him back to reality and to provide comfort. "If you join me, then we'll be able to avenge him together. Besides, don't you want to see Alice onee-san again after so long? She'll be there."

Dum holds his breath at his brother's words. Dee sees this, and knows that the other twin still hasn't completely gotten over the brunette foreigner. The truth is, neither has he. The blue-eyed twin glances at his brother, and knows that if anyone can see the benefits of switching sides to the Queen of Hearts', Dum can. The shorter-haired of the two has always excelled in strategy and business. With the largest number of troops at her disposal, as well as the once-neutral area under her control, Vivaldi is clearly at a huge advantage. With one of their role holders gone, and their small number of combatants, the Amusement Park doesn't stand much of a chance. The Hatters won't stand a chance either, if two of their most fearsome fighters change over to the enemy's side. Reaching out his hand as if to tell his brother to take it and come with him, Dee looks Dum in the eye.

"What do you say, brother?"

The last word sends a shock through Dum's system. Brother... Staring at the dark-haired young man with the shining blue eyes and the long ponytail tied up with a ribbon, he comes to a realization. The both of them have changed far too much. Dum's head and heart are telling him to accept Dee's offer but still...

Dum turns away and leaves, saying, "No. You're no brother of mine. Not anymore."

PART III - ENEMY

Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum are twenty-two years old when they finally decide to settle their feud once and for all. For two years, the Hatter family and the Castle of Hearts have been head to head with each other, at a standstill, except for the occassional skirmish. At the head of each sides forces is always a young man weilding a strange-looking axe as well a gun and a knife. However, unlike most commanders, they don't immediately target each other. It's quite the opposite actually, and the two try to stay out of each others' way as much as possible.

However, a fated meeting in a forest clearing occurs. Near the grave of the previous Cheshire Cat, Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum meet. For some time, they just stand there,a couple of metres apart, just staring at each other. If you were to look at them now, it would be difficult to tell that they ever were identical twins. Dee's hair is tied up into a high ponytail at the crown of his head, his long hair flowing down past his shoulders. He has traded his black mafia-esque suit for an ornate red and black coat, with a white dress shirt and dark blue tie underneath. Dum's hair is messy, short and wild, several red and blue clips haphazardly clipped to his bangs, simply so he can see better. His outfit hasn't changed much, but the purple ribbon tied to his wrist in remembrance of a certain late role holder does not go unnoticed by the other man.

The silence throughout the clearing his deafening, and the two men don't move at all. There is no conversation, no movement, no aversion of the eyes, no facial expression. Only the sound of each other's breathing.

Neither of them know how or who started it, but the next thing they know, they are locked in heated combat. The razor sharp edges of their axes scrape against each other, and a few sparks can be seen escaping as the two warriors fight for dominance in the battle. Deciding that brute strength will not be enough, Dee reaches into his coat pocket to pull out a blue handgun, aiming it at Dum. Said gatekeeper of the Hatter mansion barely dodges the bullet that the blue-eyed man fires at him, and winces as it scrapes his upper arm, drawing blood.

Dee's eyes seem to darken with sadism at the sight of the red liquid seeping out of the cut on his enemy's arm. It may not be much more than a mere cut, but it's enough to plant a triumphant smirk on his face. After all, he has landed the first hit of the battle. However, this euphoria immediately dissolves into thin air as another bullet whizzes through the air, barely missing the ponytailed man's ear. Dee focuses back on Dum to see that the mafioso has drawn his semiautomatic as well, and the expression on the man's face, with normally cheerful and boasting red eyes are not angry or shocked or hurt or sad. It is the fact that they are completely blank and emotionless that is blood-chillingly frightening. In all his year's, Dee has never seen that completely dead look on the red-eyed man's face. But he knows that it means Dum certainly will not be taking it easy on his blue-eyed opponent, even despite their history.

Drawing his lips into a thin line, Dum spins his axe around in his hand once before firing a round of lead towards his rival. Dee dodges them smoothly with the grace of a gentleman, twisting, turning and stepping around so that the bullets simply pass by him, and the man spins around as if dancing, when in reality his is preparing the hidden knives in his coat, getting poised to fling them at the red-eyed mafioso with practiced accuraccy. However, even he is not fast enough to turn around in time to block Dum, who's much jumped up right before him and is lifting his axe up, ready to bring the blade down on his attacker. Dee escapes the sharp edge only by dropping to the ground and rolling away, the sharp edge of his rival's axe slamming into the ground where he was less than a second ago, and raising dust from its force.

As Dum lands on the ground, Dee takes this chance to counterattack. Swinging his axe horizontally, Dum has to parry with the metal handle of his own axe to avoid getting his own head sliced off. Reaching out a leg to make a sweeping kick, the red-eyed gatekeeper nearly knocks his blue-eyed man off his feet. Stumbling back, Dee tries to regain his balance as Dum grabs something out of his pocket before biting it and tossing it towards to the ponytailed man. Dee's eyes widen as he realizes what the item is: a grenade. How ironic. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Dee recalls the shadow a memory of two twins arguing to Alice about whether grenades or knives were better. However, he does not have time for reminiscing in the heat of the battle as he barely escapes the exploding grenade behind him. A few small pieces of shrapnel embed themselves in his back and arm, and the blue-eyed man winces.

Dum grins in delight as he sees his adversary clutch his shoulder from where some shrapnel has stuck there, and raises his semiautomatic again, this time aiming for the blue-clad man's legs. After all, if he can't dodge, this battle will be over a lot sooner. His finger is just about to pull the trigger when all of a sudden, seeming materializing out of thin air, three throwing knives are flying at him. Meeting Dee's eyes for a split second, he notices a gloating sparkle, as if to say, "Hah, you didn't know I could do that, did you?"

Dum stumbles as one of the knives hits it's mark, stabbing into part of his thigh. He drops to his knees, but still tries to get up. However, before the mafioso can regain his composure, Dee is upon him, axe in one hand and more knives in the other.

The battle is long and hard and bloody, each side dealing as well as receiving damage. In the end, all it takes is for Dee's injured arm to slip just that little bit, so that the bullet he fires misses and he is caught off guard, for Dum to make a lucky slash with the axe in his left hand at just the right opening, for the gun in his right hand to fire at just the right moment, and all of a sudden, Dee has a huge gash stretching from his shoulder to his waist, and a bullet lodged firmly in his leg. The blue-eyed man just stares at the blood dripping out of his wounds for a moment, then locks eyes with the hairclip-wearing mercenary, before wavering and finally collapsing to the ground. Strangely, as his bodily fluids ooze out onto the ground, staining it dark red to match his killer's eyes, and as he begins to cough out blood and bile, the ponytailed traitor makes no effort to save himself or to try and bring down Dum as well. He just stays down, coughing, convulsing, his breath coming in shallow, raspy, uneven gasps.

Dum knows that the blue-eyed man will die soon, and the emotionless mask remains on his features. But he does his enemy one last courtesy and turns away slightly, not gloating or watching his suffering and weakness. However, among the gasps of breath and coughs, the red-eyed guard hears a sound he certainly never expected to hear. Laughter.

Spinning around quickly to face his fallen opponent, apathetic facade shattered and shock now in his eyes, he confirms that yes, it is Dee who is laughing. But why would a dying man waste his breathe and energy laughing when his killer is still alive?

All of a sudden, Dum knows the answer. Pain. It feels as if his blood is fire in his veins, as if his body has been set aflame. And the Mafioso identifies it as the works of poison. No doubt laced on the edges of his adversary's weapons or planted in the bullets, and now circulating through his system. He falls to the ground as well, muscles convulsing from the effects of the toxin.

Dee's victorious grin, with his face streaked and stained with blood, bruises, dirt and sweat as he lays there, bleeding to death on the forest floor, has never looked so positively demonic. It's as if he derives sick, sadistic pleasure from seeing the other man dying even when he himself is choking on his last breaths. But his expression wavers slightly when he sees his victim's expression. It's bloody and weak, but the smile on Dum's face is unmistakable.

The Mafioso winces in pain for a moment before croaking out hoarsely between coughs, "… This really is quite pathetic isn't it?"

Dee cannot help but agree to his statement. Both of them, lying on the ground, dying at each other's devices: Who would have thought it would end like this? It isn't long before the bittersweet smile on his face matches Dum's and his drained, whispered reply, almost unheard amongst the other's coughs, is, "Yeah… We suck."

If either of them had any strength left in them, they would have broken into a small fit of laughter and giggles, just like they would after having a fight back when they were younger. But sadly, it's too late for them. All they can do as they watch each other die is stretch out a calloused, frail hand to touch the others.

As their last breaths leave them, they whisper only one word. "Brother…"

PART IV – TWIN

Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum are a week old when they are taken away. They do not remember their father or mother, they do not remember any names besides the ones they have now, and they do not know any other life besides that of a role holder. This time round, they are not bright-eyed, lively boys with midnight-black hair, shining red and blue eyes, and a pair of gleaming, lethal axes. Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum are light blonde, one with piercing green eyes and the other with a gaze of bright purple. They will be rather solemn and quiet, taking their jobs seriously, but still delighting in the kill. Their signature tools of the trade will be a pair of matching lances.

But these two blonde infants being snatched from their cradles by a certain dark-haired Mafia boss and being bestowed with faces, have no idea of the troubled and tragic role that beholds them. For children were not meant to kill, it is not in their nature. The only way to turn a child into a murderer is to raise him as one. And this is how the cycle repeats itself.

A/N: Was that alright? Did I make it too angsty? I'm afraid that the ending isn't very good, I was out of ideas, and it was late. I hope that this was okay. Feel free to give constructive criticism, tell me the good and bad points so I know how to do better next time. Thank you for reading!

Edit: Sorry to spam all your inboxes and everything. Just fixed a couple typos, linebreaks and the ending. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed so far! I really appreciate it!

~Rayshia