Hunting For Pink Elephants

by

Dark &Chaotic

Summary: Fiona Johnson and Michael Jessica Keats watch Rise of the Guardians. Fia makes a wish to meet them in person. In typical fanfic fashion, they wake up in Burgess the next morning. "Really? So we're here but can't see anything. This is like hunting for pink elephants while sober."Fia grumbled, while MJ raised an elegant black eyebrow. "Because pink elephants totally exist and hunting is easier when drunk?"MJ deadpanned, voice as dry as the Gobi Desert.

Pairings: Decided but secret.

Warnings: Language, Violence, Lewdness, mature situations, occasional gore or description of such, Pitch's level of Bad Ass. Rated M just to be safe, since not everybody appreciates clinical description of wounds and the like.

Disclaimer: I own nothing but Fia and MJ. And possibly the plot.

A/N: The reason I want to write this is because I've become fed up with the plethora of fluffy fanfics of Pitch magically falling in love with an OC that also oh so happens to be Mary Sue-ish. I'm not saying I'm the best writer out there, nor am I saying that the mentioned above stories are Bad per se. I'm merely saying that if I want to get what I want, I have to get it myself.

Chapter One

In which cat-calling the Bad Guy on the screen while surrounded by little children is inappropriate

Rise of the Guardians had been a long awaited movie for many reasons. First off, it had been years since they had done anything remotely as homely as this. Second, MJ had been so busy the last 6 months that Fia had barely seen her twice for that amount of time. And finally, the bad guy on the screen had Jude Law's voice and in Fia's books that was a reason enough to watch the entire thing. Similar reasoning had popped up when she had declared that the two of them had to watch the movie the Mummy Returns, simply because of the last five to ten minutes of the movie where The Rock happened to be attached to a scorpion. But that was another story.

The plan had been simple enough. Take MJ from the airport. Leave luggage at home. Drag best friend to the cinema. Of course, even the simplest and best laid plans had to go down the shit drain. MJ's flight was delayed because of a ruddy blizzard and they had to miss the Premiere of the movie, thus they were forced to watch it three days later, surrounded by ruddy, snotty, and, ugh, whiny little children.

The movie had still been enjoyable, though, even if Fia couldn't proactively cat-call the bad guy, one Pitch Black. MJ had made sure that her blonde friend wouldn't manage to traumatize the poor children that were surrounding them. Finally outside the cinema, they could discuss the topic they wanted to during the movie itself.

"You know what they say about men with big noses?" Fia giggled sweetly, as her blue eyes took on a mischievous glint.

MJ snorted.

"Or big ears?" the blonde lewdly continued. "Or just plain big?"

"I think that this movie has the potential to be completely ruined." the black-haired girl of the two finally stated, after quietly clearing her throat.

"Definitely!" the blonde animatedly agreed, nodding her head vigorously, ponytail bouncing with her movements, sapphire blue eyes wide with excitement. "We've ruined every single Disney Movie-"

"Except for Tron." MJ cut in.

"Except for Tron, of course, but they have Daft Punk and neon lights to thank for that. But seriously, MJ. Think about all the wonderful and majestic puns of dubious origins that can simply ruin the virtues of this movie." Fia threw an arm over MJ's shoulder and pulled her to her side."Think of all the naughty ideas just waiting to explode through the screen and into the minds and hearts of the fangirls all over the world."

With her free hand, Fia motioned in front of her, as if presenting an imaginary scenery before her friend's eyes. MJ laughed at her best friend's antics and pried herself from Fia's mighty grip.

"I've been thinking all right. Thinking about how you will forever more be on Santa's naughty list." the dark-haired girl quipped with a mock serious expression. A devilish grin spread on the blonde's face. "And, naturally, you'd be damn proud of it." she added dryly.

"And I might just show him how naughty I could really be." she added coyly before bursting out in laughter soon follower by MJ's own.

888

Perhaps this story should be started at the beginning, as is appropriate for any decent story. It all began in Paris, 2005. Well, a bit earlier than that, but 2005 had been the year in which Fia had finally found herself acknowledged. You see, Fiona Johnson was a special girl, to say the least. Incredibly smart and perceptive, she had seen the world for what it truly was (in her own opinion) at a very young age. Being different than most children her age, she had found it impossible to connect to them and thus turned to the only thing that gave her comfort – science. Her mother, however, had called that comfort madness and had decided to take her to various therapists. When that failed too, her family moved from Brooklyn, New York, to Paris, France, both because of her father's job and because her parents hoped she'd be able to start fresh in the new environment. Seeing that her parents, especially her mother, would continue to pursue that illusion of normalcy, little Fia came to the conclusion that no matter how well she did with the things that interested her, she'd never be good enough in her mother's eyes.

In the end, Fia never really did fit in with the children at her new neighborhood. With time, the girl grew more and more paranoid with the world surrounding her, her overly inquisitive mind presenting before her thousands upon thousands of scenarios in which she was hurt one way or the other. A silent terror grew within her, that threatened to overtake her entire world.

And yet, she was in Paris, the city of Love, the place where one could stare at the world on top of the Eiffel Tower, the place where one could get lost for days, marveling at all that there is to marvel in the Louvre. On one hand, there was a little voice in her head, telling her that she was too good, too smart for a world filled with so many unremarkable and mundane people. Like little ants. Millions of nobodies. Such thoughts often threatened to occupy her mind and Fia vehemently tried to fill her head with more important things than her standing within humanity. Science was important. Science proved that humanity had done something right with its existence. The Science , the idea that it represented to her, was the one thing that kept that dark and wretched madness at bay, deep within the vastness of her mind. It was The Science, The Enlightening, that she held in the other hand, like a light against the looming darkness of her own desperation and madness.

And for a while, there had been some balance within her. For a while, she had been seen as the slightly weird, bubbly and overly joyful girl that thought herself to be a mad scientist. True, that balance hadn't been a static one, but a dynamic force that shook her like a riptide a rowboat. But just for a while, that rickety balance had been enough. Like many other things in her life, however, that moment of tentative peace passed by, and she returned to her almost religious vigil upon the people of this world.

And then... Then, on that faithful day, so many years ago, she saw that pale, listless black-haired girl, just staring into the nothing, without purpose and motivation to not just exist, but to live. Don't give up! You mustn't give up! There must be something out there for us! She had approached the girl and a beautiful friendship had been born. She had acknowledged the girl and the girl had acknowledged her in return.

Acknowledgment was a powerful emotion to experience. To know that someone out there in the world believed in you no matter what. That someone out there, no matter how far away that was, was willing to cross the globe, just to have a drink with you and a laugh or two. Acknowledgment was a feeling far more powerful than mere friendship or even love to an extent. It meant that you had found your place in the world, among even a single person that understood you without having to say a word.

Thus their journey together began, and along the way, more and more people found themselves aboard their little circle of trust. First was Hatorri, one of Fia's cousins, then there was Leopold, the rival genius boy that had moved to Fia's neighborhood, then a shy pretty red-headed young woman called Rose, and the list went on. It was a journey of discovery, a last ditch effort to prevent being completely disillusioned by the world they lived in. Quitters never win, and winners never quit. Sometimes Fia thought that it was the journey itself that was truly important, and not the end of her most important quest in life.

Unlike her childhood, her teenage years had been blissfully filled with joy and laughter and adventure. But that time had to pass as well, and, as her friends grew up and went about the world to find their own niche in it, she found herself yet again alone on her journey. Keeping up contact with all of her friends was becoming harder, especially now that most of them were either working or in University. She herself, despite her own genius, had messed up yet again in her parents' eyes, and now was staying at home, living the stagnant life of a nobody.

The latest blow to her zest had been a short but sweet message she had received via mail from her crush and rival Leopold. He had finally gotten Rose to agree to marry him and they'd be celebrating their engagement with the gang soon enough. The message had been like a bucket of ice cold water dumped upon her. It had been one of the most horrible evenings in her life to this date and she had no idea how to respond. For several days, she had spent her time in some sort of hazy dream, not really comprehending the reality and gravity of the situation. She felt absolutely numb both inside and outside, and even her mother had been worried by the glint in her haunted gaze. In a way, she was happy for Rose and Leo. She couldn't force herself to hate them, not when they were two of her precious people. But it hurt oh so much inside. She couldn't bear the pain, so instead of hating them, she started hating herself for being so petty and weak, and ignorant. The hatred grew and with it her desire to inflict harm and destroy. She knew she was irrational and pushed hard to subdue those thoughts. She wasn't a quitter. She wasn't a winner either, but she would NEVER be a quitter! These thoughts, fueled by her self-loathing and desperation easily caused her to turn to the last thing that held the thin vestiges of her sanity together.

Michael and herself were incredibly alike. Most people often compared them to fire and ice. Where Fia was all nervous energy, MJ was cool and calm like water. Where Fia was obnoxious and almost violently the center of attention and excitement, MJ was unobtrusive and polite.

Fiona was tall and somewhat muscular, with well toned arms and legs and generally a very shapely figure. She was tan with a bushy, wavy, sunny blond hair. Her face was heart shaped, with cunning almond-shaped intense blue eyes, a small nose, like a doll's, and plumb, kissable lips. She was beautiful and she knew it. She was also batshit insane, and all of her friends were aware of it. She was confident and direct, always attentive to her surroundings and to people, always prepared for that stab in the back that would inevitably come one day.

MJ was slightly taller than Fiona, elegant and slim, built like a wiry athlete, as nimble and as deft as a forest nymph. Always light on her feet and impeccably graceful in every move. Her eyes were a soft pale blue color, her skin was of a pale complexion and her hair was shoulder-length and a silky pitch black color. Her face was like that of a porcelain doll, her eyes looking upon the world from atop, betraying a slightly holier-than-thou, snobbish attitude that came with her being of old money family.

Where Fia was a wild exotic Amazon, MJ was the elegant and graceful ice princess. They only had each other left in the world.

Christmas was approaching fast and Fia just didn't want to lose her last friend like she did the rest. She'd invite MJ to join her family for Christmas. London wasn't that far away from Paris after all, and she'd be able to come as easy as she pleased. And there was this movie premiering on the local cinema, Rise of the Guardians. It looked pretty awesome so maybe MJ would agree to watch it together for good ole days' sake? And they haven't bashed a children's movie in ages!

Perhaps it was a little crazy to be so excited about a little fantasy-based animation, especially when Fia was the poster child for Santa is an adult conspiracy to control children and the ever popular Disney Fairy Tales cause peer pressure that kills individuality movement. In short, Fia was born and raised without a single magical belief integrated into her body. Ever since she was a wee tyke, she had been nourished with CNN and National Geographic in stead of Teletubies or My Little Pony.

Perhaps it was her practically hereditary disillusionment with the world that drove her to such deep interest with anything fantastical or of supernatural origin. She was an avid RPG and MMO gamer and spent many hours watching fantasy or sci-fi movies or read such books. It was like an almost desperate plea for help, for something better and more meaningful in her life.

The world would be a much better and wonderful place if it had even a bit of magic in it.

"It's chilly. We better hurry back." MJ suggested as she readjusted her coat and snuggled into its warmth.

"Hm." Fia mumbled in agreement and looked up at the stark clear winter sky.

"Come on, you can derp at the stars some other time. I'm cold and tired." MJ reminded her again but she also glanced up.

"The sky has always been the prettiest in winter."

The two of them stood like that, watching the sky in comfortable silence.

I wish I could live among the stars...What an extraordinary life that would be...

A single streak of light flashed through the night.

"Eh! Did you see that shooting star?" the black-haired girl pointed up, pleasantly surprised. "We better make a wish. You never know when it can come true."

Wishes upon stars don't come true but it's the thought that counts.

"I guess you're right." Fia smiled at MJ but it was more of a cringe.

Magic isn't real but...

Sometimes...

Sometimes I wish it was real...

And if that is too much...

Then I'd wish there was something more to this life...

Something worth believing in...

Something worth living for...