Sinking Ship pre9x16
A/N - This is based prior to everyone finding out that the hospital can be saved. April is scared of losing Jackson...One-shot Japril (M)
April closed her eyes tightly, listening to the sound of her shallow breathing in the dark on-call room, every so often a slight sniffle would interrupt her supposed state of calm and she would fight it back again. She was not going to cry. She had to be strong this time. When she had been fired a few years ago; she dealt with it, when she failed her boards; she moved back to Ohio and worked with her father, when she broke her virginal promise to Jesus; she "re-virginised". But now, she was on the brink of something far greater than she could ever have anticipated; losing love.
The sounds of the hospital buzzed around her in a distant cacophony, everyone was working overtime to keep the place running, pushing non-important surgeries to increase some sort of revenue, absolutely desperate to hold onto Seattle Grace. April could only keep her mind on one thing and that was Jackson. What would happen if they all lost their jobs and went their separate ways? Would she go to be near him? April sniffled again, wiping the stray tear that ran down her face. It was stupid really, Jackson was with Stephanie now. The fun, uncomplicated intern; who didn't re-virginize and guilt-trip him every 5 minutes! Stephanie was exactly what Jackson needed: the textbook booty-call.
April tried to convince herself that she didn't care, she had met Matt. Matt was also a virgin, religious, handsome, sweet; and totally head-over-heels for her. He was everything that she was looking for; Jesus had sent her Matt for staying away from Jackson. The false pregnancy had been her first warning, that being with Jackson would only drive her further away from her faith. Before Jackson there had always been Jesus and he had been the only 'man' she loved. However as much as all of that made sense, this tragic vacancy that weighed heavily in her chest, whenever she thought of Jackson, was killing her, slowly, and she hated herself for it.
Suddenly the door opened, snapping April out of her melancholy, she quickly wiped away any traces of sadness from her face.
"Dr Kepner." Shane beamed, fidgeting around her as he always did. "Dr Avery has an otoplasty at 6, he has said I can scrub in with him, is that okay?"
April sighed, "Yes that's fine."
Shane smiled, "Thank you Dr Kepner!" skidding out of the door before it closed again.
"W-wait! Shane!" She yelled, following him out into the corridor, the stark contrast of dark to light left her a bit dizzy. "Where's Stephanie? Shouldn't she be scrubbing in with Jackso-I mean- Dr Avery?"
"Oh didn't you hear? Stephanie has a job interview for her an internship over in Boston."
"What?" April screeched,
"Yeah I know! Clever girl, huh? I should have started looking for a new internship as soon as this ship starting sinking...Well, I have battled with the decision, and any loyal intern would! Do I stay here where I had always hoped my residency would be and deal with Pegasus? But then would I be stupid to pass up the opportunity to work for a real trauma hospital?! It's such a difficult decision, I know the Chief thinks Pegasus will fix everything but it just won't...Stephanie has done the right thing then maybe..."
"SHANE!"
"Yes?"
"Just shut up! Where is Dr Avery, right now?"
Shane nod nervously, "Understood, I'm sorry. He is up in Study room 6 – I can go and get him for you if you like?"
April darted round him, "No need."
April sped down the corridor dodging various other speeding interns and nurses.
"Uhmmm...Dr-Dr Kepner!"
"Yes Shane I will tell Dr Avery you are scrubbing in!" April exasperated
Shane did a small victory dance and ran off to tell the others.
April entered Study Room 6 in much more of a fluster than she had intended to. Jackson rose his head up from the computer screen, his perfect cerulean eyes narrowing in confusion.
"April? What's wrong?"
April flicked her hair back out of her face and straightened up. "What are you doing in here?" her shrill tone badly masking the interrogation in her voice.
"I'mmmm... reading up on a few of Mark's old articles and some emails from my mother...why?" He asked bewilderedly
April huffed and could feel the melancholy rising up to her throat again, "Are you going to Boston?!"
Jackson stood up from the desk and walked round to her, "April, what the hell is going –"
"It's a simple question, Jackson!" April rose her hands up over her head; she had really blown her lid now there was no going back. "Are you going to Boston?"
Jackson remained silent, holding his anger back at her aggressiveness.
"Everyone is thinking about getting as far away from here as they can! Are you going too? Are you going with Stephanie? Is that why she is getting a job over there so she can fuck her way into the Harper Avery Foundation?"
Jackson's eyes widened at April cursing, "April!"
"I mean, is that her game? Well, Shane is right, she is veryyyy clever...she bags Jackson Avery and gets a new job all in a fortnight. She should enter herself into the Skank World Records – I'm sure she would pass with flying colours!" April felt her face getting red hot, and the tears starting to well uncontrollably, she sniffled them back as best as she could but it was no use with Jackson. He always saw right through her.
"Why do you care anyway?" Jackson shrugged with mock disinterest, "You and I aren't together anymore. I distinctly remember you saying 'we dodged a bullet' when you found out we didn't have to get married. I was always a useful mistake to you. I was just something best forgotten about..."
Jackson took a step forward, "...and now you have met this paramedic, now you can royally screw him up and toy with his emotions."
"YOU wanted to end it! You said the false pregnancy was a SIGN! That's not f-fair..." April croaked, the tears coming on stronger now.
"What you said about Stephanie wasn't fair." Jackson said coldly, "How you treated me wasn't fair...tell me April – what is fair?"
"Why are you saying these things?" April cried the tears falling without abandon. Jackson sighed, dipping his head with shame.
"I'm sorry April. But I just can't do this anymore. I think... I think you would be happy with that guy and I will make everyone happy if I go to Boston, especially my mother..." Jackson sighed, "It's been a long time coming maybe..."
April felt as though her chest was crushed, he was really going to go and he didn't want her to go with him. The ship was sinking and Jackson had already swum to shore. She had really lost him this time and it was all her fault. She wanted nothing more than to just reach out and touch him, but the gap between them was more than just physical space.
Jackson took another step forward, feeling bad; he hated to see her cry. "April..."
"Don't." April snapped, taking a wider step back holding her arms up defensively.
Jackson put his hands in his pockets and pressed his lips together in earnest. "Okay, April." He shook his head dismissively and turned to place his hands on the table behind him, leaning forward in exasperation.
April tried to register everything that had just got on. The room remained in a deathly silence, and she found she was listening to her breathing again, all exterior noise muted to a faint hum droning in with the sound of the computer. Jackson kept his back turned to her, for what seemed an age but only a few moments had passed. Should she leave the room? There must be something she could do to swim to shore or she would drown.
She closed her eyes and whispered "I love you, Jackson." her sobs breathing out with her short breaths. Jackson turned slowly in shock, one of his hands still firmly on the table, his gaze poignant.
April opened her eyes again and knew he had heard. They looked at one another, drinking the situation in.
"Will you please... just stay? We-we don't even have to be together just –just don't..."
Within seconds he was against her, cupping her wilting head in his hands, placing his forehead against hers in an effort to soothe her. "...just please don't go."
He kissed her deeply as she cried, her hands holding his wrists which still cupped her face. The sniffles transferring to small moans as Jackson backed her slowly against the hard wall. He loved how even after all their times together her noises were still so pure and virginal.
He started to kiss down her cheek and jaw, till he buried himself in the crook of her neck, kissing the sensitive spot just above her pulse. His hand dipped below the waistband of her trousers, seeking out the heat of her. April's breath caught in her throat when his fingers started to stroke her, coaxing a warm flood of desire to her loins. He groaned, shifting his weight into her hard at feeling how ready she was for him, how much she wanted him. She mewed softly, her hand gripping his arm to aid his movements, the familiar twisting tension of pleasure rose slowly in the pit of her stomach. She arched her hips gently forward, gasping when his two fingers entered her completely, pushing frequently into the soft mound of nerves inside her.
Jackson came back to kissing her fully, before stopping to watch the haze of pleasure warm in her eyes. She was so beautiful that it hurt. He moved his hand faster, smirking as her fingers gripped his arm even more tightly, and her head lulled back. "J-Jackson...please..."
April wasn't sure what she was pleading for through the myriad of her lust. The coiling sensation in her stomach was getting tighter and tighter, her moans grew impatient as her inner walls gripped desperately to create more friction. Jackson flushed his body against hers again, knowing she was close. "Oh God...Jackson!"
April's head lulled into his shoulder, muffling the scream of her orgasm into him as she came apart in his arms, her body shuddering and convulsing as he held himself against her. He pulled his hand out and April immediately missed his touch. She kneaded her hips into him, wanting more.
Jackson reached down to pull down her trousers and underwear, leaving her half naked, running his fingers playfully through her wetness again before gripping her thighs and lifting her up the wall against him. She held onto him with desperate anticipation, the moments passing by for what seemed like an age as he struggled to pull his pants apart enough to free himself.
April pulled him closer, placed a firm kiss on his lips as he positioned himself between them and with one swift movement he entered her completely causing April to cry out in satisfaction. Jackson grunted; April's heart warmed at the broken sound of his composure, so manly yet adorable. Her walls stretched blissfully to accommodate him. Jackson ran hot kisses along her neck again as he started to slowly thrust into her.
The room began to echo with the sound of their love-making, their harsh breathing in tune with each other. April bucked against him as much as she could, the crushing weight of him and the wall sending her pleasure to dizzying heights. She nudged his cheek with hers to bring him up to her again, kissing him as passionately as she could, her short little moans escaping into his mouth as his pace quickened. April hummed in ecstasy, the familiar aching urgency clustered deep inside her again and she felt faint at the thought of another orgasm. Jackson, held her face tightly, kissing her with a new-found passion, his thrusts becoming more frantic to her need, he felt honored as she murmured his name, raking her fingers over his head.
Jackson ran his hands over her smooth thighs, jolting her upwards as he felt her slip, the sensation of her tightness enveloping him was mind-blowing. Sex never felt as good as it did with April, maybe because there was something more.
"Harder, Jackson...please!" April panted, her eyes firmly shut as her breathing got more and more erratic, he knew she was close, he could feel her tense, her inner walls contracting, her eyelids shutting tightly, her face was flustered- she just needed that bit extra, a bit more of him; all of him.
It took all the last of his strength to pound into her, her nails dug into his back which sends sharp signals to his core feeding his hunger on. When she came, she was almost crying, her body spasming almost uncontrollably before enveloping herself against him. Jackson followed soon after, nearly dragging her down the wall as he collapsed forward, his shuddering moans in time with his release.
Afterwards, April held on to him heavy and limp, the slickness of her sweat on her brow was hot and wet against his neck. Jackson gently pulled out of her and brought her back to her feet.
April smiled up at him hazily, gathering her discarded underwear and bottoms at her feet. Jackson cupped her face, rubbing his thumb over her kiss-swollen lips, whilst other hand tucked a hair behind her ear. "Are you okay?"
April just nodded, a little dismayed that he hadn't mentioned anything about her declaration of love. Did he normally respond to things like that with sex? It was brilliant, soul-destroying sex by all means! But he had nothing to say?
The sound of hurried footsteps past the door snapped them out of their dream-like state. Jackson looked down at his watch.
"Oh shit!" Jackson spun round and picked up his pager which he had left by the computer earlier. "I have surgery in 10 minutes!"
April nodded quietly, feeling as though they had been robbed of more time together and not feeling particularly comforted by the situation. What had changed?
Jackson went to run out the door, before doubling back to April quickly and planting a lasting and meaningful kiss. "I love you." He whispered, and watching briefly as the expression across her face meant her heart was soaring. He smirked, "and I am so not going to Boston!"
April giggled, watching his fleeing back down the corridor. In the fit of schoolgirl euphoria, something came rushing back into her mind. "Oh Jackson!" She yelled, running out after him.
He turned mid-run and cocked his head.
"Shane can scrub in!" She giggled again not sure why she was laughing. Jackson gave a confused smile and continued on.
April couldn't express how she felt in words, not even emotions made sense to her anymore. She felt whole, no longer all alone. Even if she would never find work as a doctor again, she didn't care. Jackson loved her and she loved him. The ship may still be sinking but they had swum to shore together.