By Melody a.k.a. PraiseDivineMercy
Fear, Love, and Ignorance
Blood splattered in all directions as shining tempered steel ripped through flesh and bone, snuffing out lives as easily as candles. The wielder's eyes were molten flame, his hair: flowing trickles of crimson red. He was an angel of death, come to cut down the damned and send them to Hell. Some tried to fight back, but most froze in horror at his gaze, then fell to their knees in hopeless resignation to their inevitable fate. Then, somehow, a small startled gasp reached his ears through the cacophony of screams. He whirled around and began moving towards the sound, carving a path right and left through his attackers.
Seeing him approach, she tried to run but tripped and fell to the ground. She crawled back desperately with each step, looking up at him with terrified sapphire eyes. A tear dripped down her cheek, and she screamed, "No! No, please! Get away from me!"
He drew closer, carrying the still dripping sakabatou. Scrambling frantically to her feet, she grabbed her bokken and pointed it futilely in his direction.
"Kaoru…don't do this…" He said softly, and with a single swipe sliced the wooden sword cleanly in half.
"No!" she screamed, waving the broken end at him, "You're a monster! Get away from me!"
Her high piercing cry rang through the air, and Kenshin awoke.
Stretching slightly and taking a deep breath, Kenshin held the sakabatou on his shoulder in a white-knuckled grasp and glanced around the porch where he had fallen asleep, trying to will the images from the dream to fade. Putting a hand over his face, he rubbed his eyes and wiped a single tear from his left cheek. The sun was just starting to sink nearer to the horizon and a gentle breeze blew, billowing the fresh laundry hanging on the line.
Rising shakily to his feet, he stuck the sakabatou between the waist ties of his hakama pants before walking hurriedly towards the nearby forest.
"That was a new one…" he told himself nervously, "…but it was only a dream that it was, it will not happen…"
Ducking swiftly between the trees, Kenshin neared the hidden clearing where he normally practiced his kata. He reached down to draw the sakabatou, but realized his hands were shaking almost too much to grip the hilt. He froze, staring at his hands. Then, in a burst of fury, he lifted the sheathed sakabatou high into the air and threw it across the field. It banged against a tree and fell not far away. Collapsing against a tree trunk, he too sank to the ground where he sat with his arms wrapped around himself, weeping like a little child.
"Kaoru-dono would never love this unworthy one if she really knew…"
With this his sobs stilled and the life seemed to drain out of him. He sat motionless, staring blankly forward, simply shut off from the world.
It was two in the morning when a shot of cold wind snapped him from this emotion-induced stupor. Picking up the sword in one hand, he slowly dragged himself back to the dojo.
He entered silently, his past training functional even in this state.
"Maybe it is time to leave…"
His thoughts stopped him outside Kaoru's door. Hearing a frantic murmur inside, he inclined his ear to the door to listen.
"…O God please don't let him wander again! I love him! I don't care! Does he think I haven't heard all the stories? People hate him and are afraid of him for what he was but that doesn't matter he would never hurt me and he's not like that now! Why if anyone's done something to him, they will have me to deal with, that's for sure! O God please make him come back to me! I don't want to be alone…" Her voice trailed off into deep sobs.
"Oh Kaoru…" Kenshin thought. He sighed and leaned against the wall, which creaked loudly.
The shoji immediately slid open.
"Kenshin, you big jerk! I've been worried sick about you!" The anger in Kaoru's face was remarkably intimidating but failed to disguise the redness of her eyes.
As Kaoru's bokken hit him Kenshin made a small smile despite the pain, thinking, "Kaoru-dono…my Kaoru…you are too brave and foolish to ever be afraid of me…" Kenshin ducked and moved slightly, trying to seem like he was at least attempting to avoid her blows, his smile growing ever wider. "There is so much fire in you…so much naivety…so much life…"
Her stress and frustration expended, Kaoru hugged his chest, allowing some last tears to fall in relief.
Placing an arm comfortingly around her, Kenshin thought, "…How I love you…"
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The original idea for this fic was inspired by my friend Sarah, (a.k.a. ShoshanaFlower) who asked over IM, "Why is it that Kenshin lets Kaoru hit him so much?" My answer at the time was "Because it reminds him that she is not afraid of him, that she doesn't see him as Battousai." I saw the question again and again in author commentaries and so felt the impetus to try to make it into a story.
Is it possible for a story to be both WAFF and angst? ^_^x