Disclaimer: NO.
A/n So I wrote this on the bus originally but ended up rewriting this to really good-depressing-weird music like Cellar Door, Russian Roulette, and some other things that involve depressing subjects. (I WAS IN A MOOD!) Well, anyway, Rihanna inspired me to re-write this first chapter/prologue thing but the only way it will be updated is if people read and review. For once. And A Song To Remember is on a HIATUS! This is a darkfic so its not happy…..
{Russian Roulette)
"Because to me he was like the adrenaline high you get before you pull the trigger. To me, he was the gun."
A dark room.
Table in the middle.
I sit in the chair in the corner and take a deep breath. The loudspeaker plays a slow and melodic beat that is supposed to calm me. All it does is give me breathtakingly devastating flashbacks. Each end before the final impact. The hit of a car; the cocking of a gun. "Cli—ck. Movement, deep breath, trigger pull…..It's all your fault…all your fault…..all..your…fault…"
Scream. It rips through my throat and fills the dark. His face, the one that haunts me. It hovers over me and then it smiles sadly. A gun goes off. Reality is hard to determine from my waking nightmare. I pull at my hair, cover my eyes…anything to get his face out of mine.
I can hear his velvety voice humming and mumbling a melody like the one in the room. All my fault. It's all my fault he's dead, gone forever from me. I was suppose to die that was the promise but they found me. They found all of us. They were looking for me. Why me? Why him? It's not fair…
All your fault.
I know. I should die. That bullet was mine.
The door opens, a tall woman walks in. She is dressed in all black and has a severely pulled back bun of blonde the color of a lightning flashing in the heat. I don't look at her cattail-brown eyes. They have honey suckle in them too. I turn my back on her. I don't want to talk about it, it hurts too much.
"Sakura." She says my name and I flinch. All I can hear is his voice and it tortures me.
Scream. Or maybe sob. It must be mine. Tsunade closes her eyes. Her expression flashes in pain and grief then goes back to stone cold. I like the emotion better. It means she won't remind me of him. I may be haunted, but I refuse to show it. I refuse to talk. I stare at her with an animalistic emotion rippling off me in waves.
All your fault.
"IT'S ALL MY FAULT! KILL ME! GET IT Over…with.." I trail off and am suddenly drained of energy. I curl into myself in the dark room in the dark corner in the black wooden chair. It's too painful. I won't talk.
"I need to know what happened. Or else you may not be protected." She sighs.
"No." I barely whisper. Then I reconsider. "He was like the adrenaline high before pulling the trigger. To me, he was the gun." I managed. I felt wet on my cheeks. "But in the end he jammed and it blew up in his face."
Two Years Ago
Sakura was livid. She had gone through her patient list only to find that two patients in the ICU were being improperly cared for. Walking (more like stomping) through to the nurses station, she called for her nurses. "AYUMI! TOYA! Get your ASSES over here NOW!" she demanded when she saw them flirting with the only two male reception nurses on the floor.
Both had looks of pure terror and embarrassment as they rushed over. "Care to tell me why the two patients in the ICU are on the wrong grams of IV drip? Because I'm a little lost on the whole thing." Ami was the first to respond. "That is what Dr. Wantanabe told us miss." She said sheepishly and looked down.
Sakura sighed. "I am the senior doctor here alright ladies? You listen to directions only ok?" Both girls nodded and were dismissed. Sakura changed the IV drip on both patients and left walking back to her office. Sitting down, she took out a hidden bottle of sake and poured a cup, letting her feet and body relax after a 32 hour shift.
"You're worse than Tsunade." a voice came from behind her by the window. She smirked and with a twitching eyebrow she turned toward the window at the back of her office avoiding the old and dusty medicine and herb books laying around her desk. "You're worse than your brother at knocking on doors then entering." She shot back.
Sai looked at her. "Touché." He said backing down, knowing Sakura was not a happy person when over stressed and bored. "The Hokage wants to see you, it's urgent or something." he said and flew out the window.
"No shit Sherlock." Sakura murmured to herself as she walked out the door to the showers to get rid of the hospital smell coming off her in waves.
At the Hokage's headquarters overlooking the village, screams could heard from a certain pink headed doctor and blonde Hokage. " You want me to WHAT?" screamed Sakura at her hokage. "It's vital to the border dispute against Mist!" The Hokage yelled back.
"FINE. But you so owe me a week off the hospital shifts and no missions or errands. Got it?" Sakura said bitterly.
At the border in the Mist village Sakura laid down on her bed. She had just gotten back to the mission headquarters after she had settled a dispute between the Mist and Leaf village. She acted as a dictatorial diplomat with a fiery temper and well thought out answers to the problems that the locals on he border had argued and fought over.
Sakura sighed and stared at the ceiling and closed her eyes. "Missions SUCK!" she yelled in frustration. Getting up, she put on her traveling spandex uniform and started packing up her things.
-A Week Later-
"A...seduction...information...mission?" Sakura gasped with wide eyes. "Well you're the only one who can perform under this situation, Sakura. In the Sand village no one really knows you 'cept Temari, Kankarou,and Gaara."
Sakura sighed and agreed. Even though she established herself as the best medic nin after Tsunade, and had a greater and more powerful temper, she was afraid of seduction missions. Not after the mission to Sound as a chunnin.
She took a deep breath and grabbed the mission scroll. She walked out of the Godiame's office and down the street to her apartment.
After she had packed her mission needs, she glanced at the old team seven photo, where she still had long pink hair and Naruto and Sasuke had continually challenged each other in a brotherly way. But that was all different now. He had tried to kill Naruto. He had tried to kill her. But she was different too. At Suna, she met up with Gaara, Temari and Kankarou and went over themission details, then checked into her hotel.
She didn't know he was so close in that very village, in the outskirts, but he could feel her. The dreams he had of her that made him feel something, something foreign and incredible, but to distant and disturbing to try and find her. The dreams were far more sensual than what he did with other women, and far more dark and sadistic than he knew she was capable of. Each ended the same….with her final climax and ultimate death and his suicide. Why did he have these dreams? Isn't that what Karin was for? And the other women he used and abused? He growled and walked out of the rundown shack he was in towards the town.
A low-cut dress. Black, corseted and shapely, with a dark purple silk sash under the bust. Shorter than most, in between the thigh and knee, and small slit. Halter. A simple henge hiding her behind black hair with strawberry blonde tips, razor-cut bangs falling over her sexy and well designed smoky eye.
The woman Sakura was supposed to be was a daughter of an aristocratic member of the mafia. Her high heel pumps which cost almost half her salary last year with the dress clicked on the wooden floor as she made her way to the entrance of the private party. Her john was talking with dangerous men, so she made her way over putting a napkin she had written directions on in his back pocket and kept walking to the bar.
In the john's hotel room, Sakura was waiting for the man as he went to shower and grab a condom. Or maybe a few. However many, it wasn't important because he would die tonight, hot and bothered because he had information that Sakura needed to gather and then report to Tsunade. About the mafia in the great villages and the weapons and drugs they were smuggling.
-A Few Hours Later-
Sakura was walking back to her room to pack her things and return to Konoha. She was tired and on edge, the man put up a fight, thinking Sakura was an aggressive teaser and he was very hot and very bothered. She shivered and rubbed her shoulders and arms trying to get rid of the goose bumps.
The next day, Sakura was halfway back to Konoha after a fitful rest in the hotel room. The nightmares were coming back again. She mentally sighed thinking about it and upped the pace.
"I must be going insane." She muttered to herself. After about another hour she saw the gates of Konoha and eased up on her aching and shaking legs. Jumping back down to the road, Sakura grunted in pain. "I need to see Tsunade when I unpack my things if this gets worse." She reminded herself mentally. Her migraines were hitting her again. All because of the nightmares…..with …..Him. Putting glowing, chakra-filled green hands on her temples, she healed herself and allowed her soft and easing chakra to flow through her body and relax her sore and aching muscles.
-PRESENT-
I watched Tsunade look at me in disappointment. She knew I was hiding something important.
His face. Just a glance to my left, in the village. The sound coming from behind me that I knew was more than an animal. "Sakura." Whispered in the wind.
Flash.
Gunshot. Blood spraying on the walls. Crunch boom smack boom scream spraying of blood.
Scream.
One. I'm running
Two. I'm falling, into a deep void and and and…..
Three. I'm dying of a broken heart.
Four. I've lost it. I've lost him.
By five, I'm screaming again and sobbing shaking my head repeating I'm sorry because it really is my fault.
AAAHHHH NEW FANFIC! Lolz I was like bipolar writing this. And you know it will only get updated if you hit the tiny little green button that says review….
TO MY WIFEY SIERRA!