The Ties That Bind

Kelly Severide strode quickly to his car. He just wanted out...out of Station 51.

He looked back at the firehouse that had been his home away from home for almost twenty five years now...and he was certain that this shift he'd just finished had without a doubt been the longest of his entire career.

It was one year...one year to the day...since he'd nearly died in the line of duty. One year since a fellow firefighter had decided he was done with this life...and he was taking Kelly with him.

If the shift had been busy...if he'd had work to do...he'd have been fine. He'd have been able to just get out of his head and not think about it. But Squad hadn't been called out once. It was all ambulance runs...and once in a while Truck rolled with them. Severide had almost gone and hopped on the truck a couple times. He knew could still do the job...he didn't care if he had to vent a roof or man a hose line...and anything to break up the monotony would have been a relief.

But no. No...instead he had twenty-four solid hours to remember. To remember coming face to face with a six and a half foot wall of fire. Chesnick, the former firefighter turned arsonist, had been a human torch when he had fought Kelly...when he knocked him unconscious and yanked his mask off.

"Hey! Severide!"

The sound of his name brought him back from the private hell he'd been occupying for the past day...and Kelly saw his fellow Lieutenant, Matt Casey, striding purposefully toward his car.

"When did you want me to come by and help you with that bed?" Casey asked.

"Whenever you got time..." Kelly replied.

"I got a job I need to finish up today. How's tomorrow?"

"That's fine. Make it afternoon...and I'll feed you."

"Deal." Casey agreed with a huge smile.

Then he headed for his truck...and whatever this job was.

Severide took one last look at the firehouse as he unlocked his car and yanked open the door.

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He drove the thirteen blocks to his house, wondering what he'd find when he walked in. If he knew anything about Alyssa, she'd been up all night cooking. And after almost eleven years of marriage, he knew her pretty well.

Since he'd returned to duty three months before she hardly slept at all the nights he was on shift. She would just lay awake praying the phone wouldn't ring.

Kelly couldn't blame her...but it bothered him just the same. He knew how he had felt when the situation was reversed. When it had been her hovering at Death's door...back in the early stages of their relationship he had never felt so helpless. He wasn't used to that feeling, and he didn't like it.

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He pulled into his driveway and parked the car.

He came in the back door, like he always did...and he could smell the onions and the garlic and the olive oil. They had enough pasta sauce in jars in the pantry and down in the deep freezer in the basement to last a year. And so did Alyssa's brothers...and everyone else they knew.

He walked into the kitchen to find Maggie standing on a chair in her school uniform and Alyssa brushing strawberry blonde curls and arranging them into little pig tails.

Today was a school day.

"Daddy!" Maggie cried out.

She was Kelly's little princess...his little girl...and she knew how to work it.

"There's my girl!" he said with a smile.

Maggie reached out to him, and as soon as Lyssa secured the last barrette...Kelly swung her into his arms.

Then he leaned down to kiss his wife.

"Mornin'..." he said in a low voice.

Alyssa gave him a quick kiss.

"I'll get some breakfast ready..." she said. "Then we can take the Princess to school."

Usually Kelly walked Maggie to and from St. Pasqual's three blocks away. He had done the same with the boys.

But today, Lyssa wasn't about to let him out of her sight.

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They had a couple hours to themselves before they had to go back for Maggie.

Kelly lay on his bed while Alyssa rubbed his back. She had been a massage therapist before they had gotten married...before she'd had to give it up. But she never stopped doing for him.

He felt her hands...soft and warm as they worked on his right shoulder. She always took extra time with that. Chesnick had ripped it from the socket during their fight...and he'd had to have it put back into place in the operating room. That and have the bones in his arm set. It had taken months and months to get the strength and mobility back.

"What is it, Honey?" Alyssa whispered.

But she knew.

Kelly turned over onto his back and reached out to pull his wife into his arms.

"It's today." he said. "I just can't get out of my head. I keep remembering bits and pieces...little flashes here and there. I wish I could remember it all...or I wish I could just forget the whole thing."

"I know...same with me." she told him.

The past year had been hell for her too.

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Watching her husband struggle through his recovery and rehab had been bad enough...but trying to take care of the house...the children...and be there for Kelly, both physically as well as emotionally. just sapped every ounce of strength she had.

The family had pulled together to try and help them. But she still wasn't accustomed to asking for help. She was stretching herself thin, trying to be everything to everyone. And she had felt like she was failing miserably.

And there was the physical stress. She still suffered residual effects from the injuries she'd sustained a dozen years ago when her crazy ex-boyfriend had kicked in her apartment door and beaten her within an inch of her life. She had never regained her strength and mobility in her right arm...and after having to take care of Kelly 24/7 and having to do everything for him the way she had...it was worse.

The last time she had gone to the doctor he had talked about trying a couple of different procedures before they had to go ahead and replace her shoulder joint. That had scared the shit out of her...and she wanted Kelly to be there for that discussion. She just hadn't had the nerve to tell him yet.

She wrapped her arms around him a little tighter. As long as he was there...as long as she could feel him...touch him...that was all she needed.

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Casey and Severide were working to break down Maggie's crib and put together the new daybed Alyssa had picked out. With everything that had happened, they'd never gotten around to getting her out of the crib and into a big girl bed.

And she was going to be three in another week and a half.

Where had the time gone?

As he wrestled with a stripped screw, Kelly couldn't help but think about all the things he felt like he had missed out on.

Maggie came running into the room.

Kelly quickly set down what he was doing and caught her as she launched herself into his arms.

"Daddy!"

She looked around at the pieces of her crib lying around the floor.

"Why you breaking my bed?" she asked.

Kelly chuckled as he reached out and pulled her into a big hug.

"We gotta take your crib apart..." he said. "So Uncle Matt and I can put together your new 'big girl' bed."

Maggie cracked a giant grin that stretched from ear to ear.

Kelly held his daughter and just studied her...she was just the most beautiful little girl he'd ever seen. Obviously he was biased...but it was true. She had strawberry blonde curls...just like his mom had had...and her eyes...her eyes were the most unusual shade of blue he'd ever seen. They were a blue/green...almost a teal.

She still had her little school uniform on...well, her re-made uniform. Maggie took after Alyssa when it came to her size...and the smallest size skirts and jumpers were still too big for her. So Lyssa's mom had pulled out her sewing machine and made skirts and shorts and jumpers in navy blue...just the way she had made all Alyssa's clothes when she was a kid.

"That's my Baby Girl..." Kelly said.

"No Baby..." Maggie told him. "Big Girl!"

He held her out in front of him at arm's length.

"You're always gonna be my Baby Girl." He told her. "Even when you're a little old grandma rocking in a chair...you'll still be Daddy's Baby Girl."

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That night...after dinner...after Casey had gone on his way...after the kids were tucked in bed...Kelly closed the door to his bedroom. He pulled his shirt over his head and crossed the room to where Alyssa was folding back the covers.

He caught her in his arms and pulled her flush against him. Then he leaned down to capture her lips with his.

And she slid her arms up around his neck and melted into his kiss. He backed her against the bed and easily lifted her up and gently laid her down.

Kelly slid his hands under the t-shirt Alyssa wore and slipped it up over her head. Then he went to work on her panties. She was busy with his belt and the fly of his jeans. After a dozen years they knew exactly what to do...exactly what each of them needed.

It had occurred to him...that all the times in his life he had had sex...how few women he had ever made love to. Only two. With Alyssa, it had always been making love, even when he tried to tell himself it wasn't. But even from that very first time, she had this hold on him. Every kiss...every touch...the fire smoldering deep in her eyes when she looked into his...it burned deep into his very soul.

Lyssa rose up to meet him again and again...pulling him closer and closer. They were as close as two people could ever be, both physically and emotionally. And they rode the wave together to the crest when they held onto each other as tight and as close as they could.

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They lay tangled up together...unable to take their hands off one another. They shared kiss after tender kiss as they didn't want it to end.

"Lyssa?" he whispered in the dark.

"Hmmm?" she whispered back as she placed a soft, gentle kiss on her husband's lips.

"I want us to have another baby..."