Sequel to final goodbyes: Goodbyes aren't Written in Stone

disclaimers i don't own Buffy or Angel

This time- john legend

Ran into you yesterday
Memories rushed through my brain
it started to hit me
now you're not with me
I realized I made a mistake
I thought I needed some space
But I just let love go to waste
It's so crystal clear now
that I need your here now
I gotta get you back today

It's been three months since my beloved's death. I hope and pray that somehow it's going to get easier but who am I kidding in all my 250 years I have never felt so alone. I wake up every night and I felt like I betrayed her. How is it fair that that I'm here when someone so pure is not. My girl; the one who couldn't be broken.

I needed to get away from all their pity and symphony; I just couldn't take it anymore. It made things real and all I could think about is seeing her one last time. Inhaling that vanilla scent of hers or laughing at one of her clever remarks. I would give anything to hold her in my arms again; this time I would be selfish and never let go. I'm such a fool, I should have treasured every moment with her; found a way around the curse. But instead I have broken her heart so many times and pushed her away when really all I wanted was for her to stay. Now, I got my wish. She's finally safe from me and I know that without a doubt that my baby is in heaven. I fell empty and numb but coming to this monk place I've been soul searching trying to find inner peace. Trying to get a feel for where she has gone and when I reach far enough I never felt more loved, so free. That must be what heaven feels like, and the pain I'm feeling is a fate worse than hell.

I still remember going to her grave site every second is etched in my mind. It was surreal and I stood there just watching the ground hoping it would rise. A part of my beloved is better than nothing, but she would not rise again. When the fates took her from me they made sure she was dead. I life my gaze and read the head stone. I wished it was more on it, but she was always modesty. She would have liked it. She saved the world a lot is what is engraved on it and the statement was the truest thing I ever read because she saved mine. I read how she was a beloved sister and daughter, and friend, but there are no words that tell how she was a beloved mate. For a moment I am jealous that her friends had what I could not. They had her and now she was all alone; I felt like I couldn't leave her. So I stated till the first hours of dawn and left before the sun came up. As I stayed I talked about any and everything reminiscing and finally my final good bye.

"Hello lover, I never wanted this day to come. You asked me if forever worked for you so now, I'm going to seat here and tell you that I'm perfectly okay with that. Forever with you doesn't seem long enough but I'll take what I can get. I always wanted you save and sound, never here, but I guess you are safe now huh. No one could touch you now. The world without you isn't as bright anymore. No matter what ever happened between us you were the only woman I have ever loved. You may be gone but I will love you till the end of time. I'm sorry I left you, but I am so happy that I got the honor of knowing you and loving you I never thought you could love a demon like me.

This is all surreal just this morning I swear that we were making wild passionate love. I was so happy to see you when I walked through those doors. In my heart I know that it was real. You think you're so slick getting me to promise you that I'll keep going without you knowing that all I want to do is stay here and watch the sunrise. You must have help from the powers. They need their champion but I don't think I'm him any more a part of me is buried with you. I don't want to leave you but I broken to many promises and this one I hope to keep. Never doubt my love for you", I say as I get up wiping the tears and left Sunnydale and her behind. I didn't look back because that would have been too tempting.

Today is the day I have to go back. They finally say I'm ready to face the harsh world; a world without her. I have to go back to people who need me. People that I chose to help, instead of my beloved. I promised her forever, but all demons lie.

This time I want it all
This time I want it all
Showing you all the cards
giving you all my heart
This time I'll take the chance
This time I'll be your man
I can be all you need
This time it's all of me.

Wesley, Fred and Cordiela came strolling into the lobby discussing the latest demon they attacked and what it was doing to their social lives. Wesley and guy were talking about how sad their lives have become.

"I'm not sad", Cordy whines as she lies down on the couch.

They looked at her and decided to change the subject.

"How needs a social life when we're doing demons…didn't that come out sad and wrong. I need to get out more speaking of has anyone talked to Fred lately, has anyone seen her", asks Gunn

"Not seen, glimpses she pops her head out of her room and runs right back in. She's been doing that for three months ever since Angel left" explains Cordiela.

"She's become quite attached to him", Wesley says cleaning his weapon off.

"Ah yes Angel groupie, it's understandable that she gotten attached to her. He saved her", guns shrugs. "But speaking of him, when is he coming back".

Cordiela signs and get up towards the office. "He'll be back as soon as he let out a little grieved".

"A little Bu", gun starts to argue and was immediately interrupted by Cordy.

"Don't say the b word", she yells.

Gunn wonders how dumb Cordy actually is. "The b word was the love of his live and he's what 250 years, that aint no short live, this grieve work going to take more than a vacation to Treblinka to get over".

"It isn't a vacation it's a spiritual retreat at a monastery" Wesley countered.

"Hum Angel and a bunch of monks in the middle of nowhere", Gunn exclaim. "There's a party. He should have went to Vegas and got hammered like I told him"

The next day the trio was arguing about mouse traps. Wes and Gunn both wanted nothing to do with it. So Cordy went into the door with the sewers access and screamed.

There before her was Angel.

"You guy's he's back, he's back", and she hugged him.

Everyone rushed over and hugged him happy that he was back.

Pennies for ya thoughts...next chapter is the scoobies turn!