Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I don't own any of these characters. Don't remind me. It's saddening.
Update: I decided to rewrite this entire story before I continue it.
xXx
The usual dark and gloomy streets of Gotham City were lit up with celebrating lights, and the citizens marched past the buildings with colorful banners and bright floats. The crowd gathering around the parade responded to occasion with gleeful shouts, while children could be seen jumping up and down with suppressed excitement.
"A month of peace! A month of peace!" chanted one of the parade's clowns as he balanced gracefully on the edge of his float, juggling rubber balls as he did so. The audience cheered loudly at these words, a buzz of conversation following soon after.
Of course, the city wasn't entirely peaceful. There were still petty crimes such as bank robberies, muggings, and recently, school shootings. While these acts of crime were terrible, it didn't take much effort for the police to throw the criminals behind bars. By peace, everyone was referring to the big criminals, such as Poison Ivy or Two Face. It was strange for just one of the criminals to disappear but it was almost unheard of for all of them to go silent. The police were suspicious of the lack of crime but didn't have the heart to complain. Having a somewhat safe community meant that there were less Batman sightings these days and that also meant that they didn't have to rely on someone else to do there jobs.
"Man, look how popular this thing is," said a man dressed like Two Face, glancing over at a Joker, "They really hate these guys, eh? I'm going to be smelling like rotten tomatoes for weeks."
There was one specific float set up to look like a prison, and in it stood a few people dressed up as popular criminals, designed to excite the audience. In response to this, the people would throw fruits and vegetables at the "criminals," along with several shouted "boo's."
"That's the thing about people," The Joker replied, "They like to celebrate things, even when they didn't do anything! It's sad, what they do to feel a bit of hope."
The other man rose a brow at him, "Didja wake up on the wrong side of the bed buddy? Or is the food finally getting to ya?"
As if on cue, a large piece of lettuce went flying at their heads. The Joker ducked down to avoid it, looking a bit annoyed at the ongoings.
"I'm just used to a more attentive audience," He said sourly.
Two Face shrugged and pulled at the fake cell bars, making an angry face as he did so to enhance his act. In response, he got another tomato in the face. He didn't mind it very much, to be honest. He loved the victorious expressions that crossed the children's faces when they thought they actually defeated a real villain. He even saw a boy with a familiar black cowl pulled onto the front of his face. Man, kids were just too cute...
"By the way, who did your makeup?" he inquired as he pulled away from the bars, throwing a defeated look the children's way. "Whoever did it did a great job. You look just like the real thing!"
The Joker's lips twisted upwards into a huge smile and suddenly, the man felt somewhat nervous. "I did it myself! But, to be fair, I've had a lot of practice with it."
Two Face scratched his beard from under his mask as he tried to make sense of the man's words. He himself had to put on a mask over his face in order to get the effect of missing half of his features. He was expecting to see similar methods with the other criminals, but was impressed by the realistic traits that were displayed. "You dress like the Joker often, eh? You do birthday parties or somethin'?"
The other man's smile widened and he causally pulled something out of his pocket. "I wouldn't be against it! I do enjoy laughter! Hahaha."
"Man...Ya really have your act down. You could even be the real thing." Two Face glanced down at that moment, and saw the faint gleam of a needle resting in the other's hands. And suddenly, it all clicked. The man backed away from him with eyes the size of saucers. "Y-you're-"
He never got to finish. His sentence broke off as a giggle erupted from his throat. When the other "criminals" heard the commotion, they were more than a little surprised to see a man dressed up as Two Face laying on the ground, breathless with newfound laughter. The other man simple gazed down at him, looking as if he were about to join in on the laughter himself.
"Oi! Watcha think ya doin'?!" One of the "police" shouted. "Get back to work, you two."
"We're just having a bit of fun," The clown exclaimed without losing his grin.
"Well knock it off."
The Joker's smile suddenly left his face and was replaced by a look of pure anger. Everyone slowly became aware of the quieting giggles, and a quick glance at Two Face revealed that he was still smiling, but all the life had vanished from his eyes.
"You know...there are only a few things that can get on my nerves..."
Everyone froze as the Joker suddenly produced a gun, and shivers ran down their backs at the evil glint in his eyes. "One, I hate Batman," he said softly, aiming his gun at the empty space in front of him. "And two, I hate party poopers."
Suddenly, he changed the direction of the gun so that it was pointed to the "officer" who had apparently offended him. He pulled back on the trigger, but no bullets came out. The Clown blinked and tried the trigger again and sighed loudly when it did nothing. "Sorry, still working out the bugs," he mumbled in explanation. "Oh, wait! This outta do it!" He chucked the weapon at the wall, to everyone else's confusion, and it broke open upon impact. A large cloud of gas rose from the object and drifted towards the float's passengers with ease.
"No one breathe!" Someone shouted, but it was to no avail. No one could hold their breath forever. One by one, the men and woman burst into harmonious laughter, save for the Joker himself. The audience seemed to have finally noticed the brewing chaos; several people gasped as they witnessed the laughing crew claw at their throats desperately, eyes crazed and lips spread wide. In the center of the commotion, the Joker stood grinning, as if he was admiring his work. He pulled out another gun from his sock and proceeded to shoot the driver of the contraption, earning the pleasant sound of startled screams as he did so.
"Ladies and Gentlemen! Now that I finally have your attention, I have an announcement!" The Clown continued to smile.
The crowd went silent. Everyone was too afraid to even think about speaking. Some of the bravest people began to back away from the float in order to escape to safety but would stop whenever the crazed man's eyes would drift towards them. Mothers and fathers protectively wrapped their arms around their fearful children as they waited to see what their fate would be.
As if not sensing the frightened vibes in the air, the green haired man pouted. "Aww, nobody wants to ask what it is? Nobody's interested at all?! I'm kinda hurt. I thought this parade was made to show how much I was missed!"
Still, nobody made a sound. Everyone, even the youngest of children, knew that terror awaited them no matter what they did.
"You're a bunch of bores!" The clown complained. After a few seconds of added silence, he resigned himself into launching into an explanation anyways. There was no time to make threats, kill children, or use any more of his laughing gas. It was surprising enough that little Bats didn't make an appearance yet, and the Joker knew that if he wanted to accomplish this, he needed time on his side. "I have a message for my favorite hero!"
The maniac took a few steps backwards and grabbed a parcel from underneath one of the "cell" benches. The package looked like a child's gift. It was wrapped in colorful paper with amateur pictures of cartoon animals. The only strange thing about the gift was the blotches of crimson colored paint. Well, we'll pretend that it's paint.
"Oh, I do hope he'll like it! I've put a lot of thought into it, you see!" his smile grew a little, if it's possible, and he suddenly threw open the "cell" doors. Humming loudly, he hopped off of the float and landed a few feet away from of the growingly anxious crowd. "You will give this to Batty, won't you darling?" he asked as shoved the parcel into a young girl's arms, who seemed to go stiff with terror.
"You could always give it to me yourself." A deep voice commented from behind him.
The Joker slowly turned around. "I was starting to think that you wouldn't show up for you're own party! Now that would be just rude," the Joker gave him a seemingly regretful smile. "But alas, I really should get going!"
"Leaving so soon? You're a bit rude yourself," Batman said dryly as he took a step out of the shadows and towards the clown.
"I know, I know! But, no worries! You will be seeing me very soon."
"What makes you think that I'm going to let you get away?"
The Joker simply smiled. "Hunny, we're running late!" he called out, to the bystanders' confusion.
Batman took another step forward, but was knocked off of his feet as a motorcycle flew off of another float and rammed right into him with enough force to send him flying. The girl on the bike quickly removed her helmet and beamed at the clown "Sorry for the delay Mister Jay! I saw the worst impression of you a few cars back. I had to show him what a real smile looked like!"
The Joker grinned back at her and jumped onto the bike behind her. "That's my girl! Now, let's go! We've got another party to plan!"
"Yessur! Hold on hun!"
xXx
"Batman! They're getting away! Batman!"
The Dark Knight groaned and quickly sat up, eyeing those around him with paranoia. "...Joker?"
A police officer, a real one, offered him a hand, which the hero promptly refused. Instead of being offended by this, the man shrugged it off and went into an explanation. "They got away. We have some men on their trail."
"How long was I unconscious?"
"Not long. A few minutes."
Batman narrowed his eyes behind his cowl and nodded briskly. "He couldn't have gone too far. I'll pursuit him in the Batmobile."
The officer nodded before holding up the fallen package. The little girl who the Joker picked to deliver it seemed to have dropped it as soon as she could. "From what witnesses say, he wanted you to have this. Any idea of what it is?"
Batman shook his head before carefully taking the package away from the man. "I'll take this with me. It might have explosives."
The police officer nodded in understanding and looked in the direction of where the insane couple ran off to. "What is he planning?" He asked.
Silence.
The officer turned his head and was not surprised to see that he was now alone. "I heard that he did that..."
xXx Bat Cave xXx
Bruce tore off his cowl, suppressing a growl of frustration. He had been up all night searching for the deranged lunatic and was disappointed to come back empty handed.
"Master Bruce?"
"All that I was able to discover was that he was talking about private jets before he escaped from Arkham."
A pause. "So he is leaving?"
The billionaire bowed his head, annoyed at the entire situation. "Who knows. That could've been nothing, Alfred. He's insane! He probably doesn't even remember half of the things he says."
"I see..." The elderly man stopped and gazed at the package in the other's hands curiously. "May I ask what that is?"
Wayne brought his own eyes down to the gift and sighed. "I don't know. I went down to the police station and had it checked for explosives but there isn't any. There isn't any sign of technology in it at all. For all I know, he might've put Smilex in there."
"Shall I get the proper equipment?"
"Please."
A few minutes later, Bruce Wayne was wearing goggles over his eyes, an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, and long gloves over his hands. He voiced his thanks to his butler for his assistance before returning to the table and slowly opened the package.
"Oh," he breathed, eyes widening under his goggles.
"Master Bruce, what is it?" Alfred asked, but received no answer. With a worried frown, he walked over to younger man and peered over his shoulder to get a look at the object. "Oh my."
On the table, surrounded by bits of wrapping paper, sat a tattered domino mask, covered in what looked to be blood. A small piece of folded notebook paper sat on the less damaged side of it and Alfred tentatively picked it up and opened it.
"Dear Batty," he read out loud. "While I was sitting in Arkham, I read in the paper about how your little brat was doing in Jump and I thought: 'maybe I should visit!' Won't he be excited to see his dear uncle? Xoxo- Joker."
Bruce ripped the equipment off of his face and proceeded to take his gloves off. "He..." a growl. "I swear..."
Alfred put the message down, watching the other with increasing worry. "Master Bruce...?"
The other ignored the worried tone. "When was the last time you talked to him?"
"Last week, sir. Are you two still not on good terms?"
Bruce went silent, choosing to gently pick up the ruined mask and cradle it in one of his hands. Alfred knew that Bruce was overprotective on an ordinary day, but this act of violence could send him over the edge.
"Do you think he has him?"
"...No." the billionaire shook his head. "This was a warning. He's going to go after him."
"Could it be that he's simply luring you into a trap?"
A sigh escaped from the younger man's lips. "It most likely is but would you rather I abandoned Dick?"
Alfred paused. It was the first time he heard the man say that name in weeks. "Not at all, sir. However, I am concerned for your safety."
Bruce smiled a little at that- a rare sight. "I'm more worried about my s-" He paused and corrected himself automatically. "Richard is my highest concern."
Alfred tried to hide a smile at the near slip up. "Should I start packing your bags?"
"Please..."
Wayne was soon left by himself in the Bat Cave. Once he was alone, he let his expression fall into one of concern. Suppressed memories of a laughing child in a colorful outfit rose to the surface, and the unmasked vigilante had to shake his head to get rid of them. At last, an image of a scowling teen went through his brain, making him crack another smile. "Robin is not going to like this..."
xXx
AN: There. I actually never had a problem with this first chapter, but I did end up correcting a few things.
For those of you who don't know, Smilex, or Joker Venom, is a chemical agent created by the Joker that forces the victim to laugh so much that their smiles become impossibly wide, and they suffocate. Fuuuun.