"Understanding Muggles: No Thanks."
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Most of you think I waste my time and yours by writing down these
stupid rants and babbling incoherently, and I'll tell you right now, you
are absolutely right. So now that you know what you're in for, let's
continue. Most MLN (Muggle Loving Nincompoops) wizards would, naturally,
protest and mention the little fact that Muggles CAN'T use magic, they
are completely and utterly unable to (being the useless schmucks that
they are), therefore it's not THEIR fault that they are forced to live
off of equivocal and ambiguous junk, in fact they ought to be commended
for their supposedly unthinkable feats. BUT since ranting is so much more
fun, and as I happen to know, along with the rest of you SAI (Sensible
And Intelligent) wizards, those pathetic and civil ideas on Muggles are
Boring, Absurd, and Dull. So. on to the good stuff, eh?
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If you've never stopped to stare in disgust at some lunatic trying to
master the techniques of a tallyfone, laughed your head off, then walked
off.then you're definitely a potential patient for St. Mungo's. I mean,
who in the world would want to take Muggle Studies and read about
airheads with no ounce of magic in their veins and their silly worthless
inventions???? The dummy who created Muggle Studies was a lunatic who
wanted to destroy the world, did you know that??? It's true!!! Muggles
are extremely harmful, especially to impressionable young wizarding
children. With their VILE "inventions" and their CRAZY way of LIVING,
they're POISONING the brilliant MINDS of today's wizarding
world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *whew* ...And what are we to do?
-
Well here's your solution everyone and listen up!
..
Switch cars with hippogriffs! Hah, brilliant, eh? Can you believe that 69
% of the wizarding population use cars daily to get from destination to
destination? It's sickening! No wonder today's generation is going to the
gnomes. So remember.hippogriffs! You may have a slight greasy, feathery
feeling between your fingers and feet, and you may get a mouthful of
those feathers every now and then during your first 157 flights or so but
it wears off. Also, you don't get motion sick!! *coughcough* Well, maybe
at first, but believe me, the minute you fly off you will feel a feeling
of security and freedom, a feeling of liberation!!! So go out there and
get those hippogriffs, and this is our wise advice from Daily Prophet
Rants!
-
Most of you think I waste my time and yours by writing down these
stupid rants and babbling incoherently, and I'll tell you right now, you
are absolutely right. So now that you know what you're in for, let's
continue. Most MLN (Muggle Loving Nincompoops) wizards would, naturally,
protest and mention the little fact that Muggles CAN'T use magic, they
are completely and utterly unable to (being the useless schmucks that
they are), therefore it's not THEIR fault that they are forced to live
off of equivocal and ambiguous junk, in fact they ought to be commended
for their supposedly unthinkable feats. BUT since ranting is so much more
fun, and as I happen to know, along with the rest of you SAI (Sensible
And Intelligent) wizards, those pathetic and civil ideas on Muggles are
Boring, Absurd, and Dull. So. on to the good stuff, eh?
-
If you've never stopped to stare in disgust at some lunatic trying to
master the techniques of a tallyfone, laughed your head off, then walked
off.then you're definitely a potential patient for St. Mungo's. I mean,
who in the world would want to take Muggle Studies and read about
airheads with no ounce of magic in their veins and their silly worthless
inventions???? The dummy who created Muggle Studies was a lunatic who
wanted to destroy the world, did you know that??? It's true!!! Muggles
are extremely harmful, especially to impressionable young wizarding
children. With their VILE "inventions" and their CRAZY way of LIVING,
they're POISONING the brilliant MINDS of today's wizarding
world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *whew* ...And what are we to do?
-
Well here's your solution everyone and listen up!
..
Switch cars with hippogriffs! Hah, brilliant, eh? Can you believe that 69
% of the wizarding population use cars daily to get from destination to
destination? It's sickening! No wonder today's generation is going to the
gnomes. So remember.hippogriffs! You may have a slight greasy, feathery
feeling between your fingers and feet, and you may get a mouthful of
those feathers every now and then during your first 157 flights or so but
it wears off. Also, you don't get motion sick!! *coughcough* Well, maybe
at first, but believe me, the minute you fly off you will feel a feeling
of security and freedom, a feeling of liberation!!! So go out there and
get those hippogriffs, and this is our wise advice from Daily Prophet
Rants!