I have fallen into the musical trap that is Hamilton.
So here is an emotional one-shot on how I feel Eliza reacted when Alexander broke her heart.
My Dear Eliza,
.
My Dear Eliza,
Eliza Hamilton sat in front of her fireplace. She deftly picked up a letter from a box beside her. The address at the top of the page mocked her broken heart.
'My dear Eliza,' she thought derisively.
Eliza tossed the letter into the hungry flames. It joined the burning remains of its brothers.
Eliza heard footsteps enter her bedroom.
"Eliza,"
Eliza didn't turn around. She didn't even want to look at her husband right now. "I saved every letter you wrote me." She told him, hoping her words were like a knife to his heart. Because that's exactly what his words had done to her.
"Eliza,"
"I thought you were mine. You said you were mine." Eliza remembered seeing him in his uniform at the Winter's Ball. She remembered feeling her heart beat wildly when their eyes connected. She knew at that moment that she wanted to be his. She wanted him to be hers. She thought their wedding vows had meant something to him. She'd vowed to love and cherish him until death do them part. Just as he had promised her.
.
"Eliza," he was begging her.
Eliza tossed another letter into the fire, her eyes wet with tears as she did so. "I told Angelica what you'd done." Her older sister had held Eliza as she cried her heart out after the news. Philip, Eliza's oldest son, had been the one discover the pamphlet his father wrote. He'd shown his mother immediately. Angelica held her little sister as she grieved over her husband's betrayal.
Alexander winced at the reminder that Angelica knew of his actions. She'd already come by his office to berate him. He knew without a doubt that whatever they'd had was through. He'd messed up everything by hurting Eliza.
"Eliza," A mere whisper now.
Eliza turned around, her eyes, still wet from crying, glared in anger at her husband. He tried to step closer. "Don't!" Eliza held a hand out.
Alexander stared at her as if he'd never seen her before.
Eliza clutched a letter tightly in her hand. "Don't." She repeated. He wasn't going to talk his way into her arms. He wasn't going to talk his way back into her heart.
Alexander didn't move. He hated that fact that he'd put the mistrust in his dear Eliza's eyes. He watched in devastation as his wife threw another letter into the fireplace.
.
Eliza looked at the pile of burning letters. She looked back at the near empty box she'd kept them in. After all this time she thought they were happy. She thought he was hers and only hers. Eliza wiped away a tear; she was wrong. She didn't know her husband anymore. She still had so much to learn.
Eliza picked up another letter. It was the first letter he'd ever written her. Eliza remembered how giddy she'd felt upon receiving that letter. She'd been smitten, praying if the time came her father would approve.
Eliza looked at her husband once again. She saw his eyes watch her every movement. She saw love, regret, and pain in his eyes.
Her hand balled into a fist, crumpling the letter. Alexander didn't get to do this to her. He couldn't take back what he'd done. He didn't deserve her love.
She closed her eyes tightly, keeping the tears at bay, as she threw that letter, too, into the flames.
.
When the news had broken out, Eliza hadn't reacted. She hadn't wanted to believe that Alexander would do that to her. She'd pulled out her box of letters, safely stored and cherished. She continued to read their love story. She scanned the letters, searching for any hint that he truly loved her. That he wouldn't have done the unspeakable act of breaking her heart.
Eliza burnt another letter before picking up the paper her son had brought her. The Reynolds Pamphlet was written in bold letters at the top of the page. Alexander had published all the letters Maria Reynolds wrote him. He published every little detail of his torrid affair.
Alexander published the affair that only a few people knew because Thomas Jefferson tried to discredit him.
Alexander wished he could go back in time just to erase the look of pain and betrayal on his wife's face as she looked at his pamphlet. He hadn't meant to hurt her.
"You have ruined our lives." She told him softly.
Alexander caught the paper that was thrown at him. He let it fall to the ground, the title of his own creation mocking him from the floor.
"I'm not naive." Eliza knew other women looked at her husband. She knew her husband looked back. Women seemed to flock around him.
She'd even seen the looks Alexander sent her sister.
Eliza wasn't blind. She'd hoped her husband loved her enough to not hurt her the way he had. She'd believed he loved her. She thought she was his only one.
.
Eliza felt her anger return as her husband remained silent. She glanced at their bed before turning back to the flames. He'd brought his affair into their own home!
Eliza grabbed another letter, barely sparing it a glance as she tossed it into the roaring fire. The action did little to stop the pain in her heart. Eliza watched as the letters burned, the ink melting as the paper disintegrated. The world didn't get to know how she felt. The world didn't have a place in their bed. And neither did Alexander.
Alexander saw his wife glance at their bed. He tried to stop the images that flew through his mind. He'd been a fool to start the affair, let alone bring it into his own home.
Alexander glanced back at the pamphlet on the floor. Mere words had destroyed his whole world.
.
Eliza grabbed another letter. Her eyes reflected the fire of the flames as she watched the letters burn. She angrily wiped the tears away.
History wouldn't remember her. They wouldn't know how she reacted when her husband destroyed their lives.
She grabbed the last letter, the box now empty for the first time in years.
"Your legacy." She spat at her husband.
Alexander physically flinched at her words. He didn't see his oldest son watching from the doorway. He didn't see the pain in his son's eyes.
Eliza turned toward her husband. Pain and embarrassment clear on her face as she caught her oldest son watching.
Eliza looked away from the pain filled eyes of her oldest son. She waved that last letter at Alexander. "Look around!" Didn't he see what was right in front of him? She was his legacy! Philip and his brothers and sisters were his legacies!
Alexander took another step toward his wife. "Eliza,"
Eliza turned away from him. "Don't!" She whispered. She wasn't his. He burnt that bridge the moment he betrayed their love.
She threw that last letter away. Just like he'd thrown her heart away.
Eliza felt the tears begin again as she watched the last letter burn
This was a mix of Burn and First Burn. I was originally trying to convey how Eliza felt in First Burn but lyrics from Burn crept into my mind and they were too good to ignore.