I didn't know. How could I have known this would happen?
Three hours ago…
Romano stared out the window trying desperately to block out the happy chattering of his brother and Spain in the kitchen. He forced himself to focus on the warm sunlight streaming into the room, the people walking outside, the leaves falling from the trees… anything that could distract him. Try as he might he could still hear bits and pieces of the conversation. The conversation itself isn't really of any importance but that's not the problem. They sound happy as well…
Sighing, Romano stood up and quietly left the house through the backdoor making sure that neither Italy nor Spain heard him. Then again what does it matter? It's not as if they would all of a sudden notice his absence. Hell, they might even be happy that he left.
Gritting his teeth he angrily stormed off into the forest to try to quiet the thoughts and emotions that came bursting out of nowhere. Damn bastard, he thought. It's not like he cares that Spain hasn't talked or even acknowledged his existence for the past hour since Italy came to visit. …Or maybe it does bother him…? Frustrated, he shook his head and plopped down underneath a sycamore tree, his heart clenching in pain.
He knows. He knows that Spain doesn't give a damn about him. He could disappear right now and Spain wouldn't even notice since his precious Ita-chan is there to distract him from absolutely anything. He knows that Spain had tried to trade him for Italy once. Sure it was only one time but the bastard still did it and it hurt Romano in ways he couldn't put into words had he tried. He felt tears pricking his eyes and he blinked them back. Romano knew that even if he cried nobody would see the tears as they rolled of his cheeks in large drops. Still he couldn't cry not after he managed to stop himself from crying over his unrequited love for months.
But still…he knows that Spain is in love with Italy and not him. And that hurts him more than anything because even if Spain doesn't love him, he loves Spain. Always have always will be. Romano felt his heart crack a bit from thinking of all those thoughts but he couldn't help it. He just felt so unloved, uncared for and unimportant at the moment. After all, nobody cares about him so why should Spain? Hugging his knees tighter, he buried his head in his arms and tried to banish these thoughts but to no avail.
Romano stayed there in that position for a long time. It was only when a drop of rain landed on his head that he looked up from his arms. He looked at the darkened sky and watched as more and more rain poured from the clouds. Finally deciding to go back, he stood up and left the forest. The rain fell faster and by the time Romano got back he was drenched. It's almost as if the sky is crying the tears he refused to shed. How poetic, he thought bitterly. Stupid bastard did this to me. He opened the door and peered in cautiously. This is stupid what am I cautious for? Bastard wouldn't care if I get drenched and sick anyways. Seeing that the coast was clear he went in and the door suddenly slammed loudly as the wind outside howled. Shi- . Before he could finish the thought Spain came down from the stairs with a worried expression.
What the hell are you looking worried for? Damn bastard…
"Roma~! Where have you been? I was worried when you left and didn't come back immediately when it started pouring outside." The Spaniard stated and looked at Romano from head-to-toe. "You're drenched! Dios mio… where have gone?" Oh, so he did noticed me leaving…
"None of your business bastard," Romano retorted and walked past Spain, heading upstairs to get rid of his wet clothes.
"Ita-chan has left already in case you're wondering," Spain called out. Romano stopped in his tracks and glared straight ahead refusing to look at Spain. It hurts him. The way Spain calls his brother. The loving way he says 'Ita-chan'. A way he would never say his name in.
"Good," he spat. "I hope he never comes back." He doesn't mean it, really. He loves Feliciano and would protect him from anything that harms him. But right now he couldn't help but feel so inferior to his younger brother. Italy this, Italy that. Italy does anything better than him. Italy can beat him in anything. Hell, be even captured the bastard's heart. It just hurts so bad…
"Romano." The way Spain said his name, full of anger and exasperation, as if he had had enough of Romano's attitude or just Romano himself. "Don't say that. Ita-chan was really happy to see you and I missed him-"
"Well why don't you live with him instead? Why don't you go live with your sweet precious Ita-chan instead?"
"Romano." Spain snapped. "What is wrong with you? Why are you saying this? No te entiendo…"
"Admit it. You prefer my brother over me don't you?" It hurts…
"Romano…"
"You want to be with him more than me don't you?" It hurts…
"Romano…"
Tears started pricking his eyes again. No, no I can't cry I must not cry. "You love him don't yo-"
"LOVINO VARGAS!" Startled with his change of tone and use of his full name, Romano turned around to find Spain bristling with fury. He had never seen Spain this angry with him. Never and it scared him to see this.
"Just admit it already bastard!" He shot back finding his voice in the midst of fear. Spain and he stood there glaring at each other a pregnant silence hanging in the air. Then the Spaniard broke the silence.
"So this is why nobody likes you. No wonder." Romano gaped at him. What…why did he…?
"You want the truth? Fine, I'll give it to you." Spain looked at the side and took a deep breath as if to relax himself, then he looked at Romano. "All you ever do is whine."
Stop.
"You're nothing, absolutely nothing." Crack
"S-shut up." Romano whispered. "Just shut up."
"No," Spain snapped and stared Romano down. "You crossed the line you're doing this to yourself. You wanted the truth so I'm giving you the truth."
Stop.
"Yes I prefer Italy over you." Crack
Stop.
"And guess what?" Spain looked Romano steadily in the eye. "I hate you." Smash
There and then Romano's heart broke. Time stopped moving, the world stopped turning. For Romano everything was focused at this moment. He didn't even notice the tears streaming down his face. And then he ran… he ran and ran and ran. The farther he got away from that house the better. Twice he nearly slipped from the slippery road and all the while the rain soaked him to the bone, but he hardly noticed any of these things. None of it matters because the one person whom he actually thought cares for him doesn't.
.
.
.
.
.
All of a sudden a sense of calm over come him. What happened…? Why am I on the road? Why… why are there people clamoring all over me…..? Ahh… I'm so tired… I just want to rest….
Romano let out a soft sigh and closed his eyes feeling a sense of tranquility overcoming him.
…Spain… I'm sorry but….. I don't think I'll ever be able…to apologize to you properly…..even if…..your last words to me…..were 'I hate you'…just know that I'm so sorry for everything and…..I love you…..bastard
.
.
.
.
.
My name is Antonio Fernandez Carriedo and my last words to person I love was 'I hate you'.
-HGE