Title: "On A Rainy Day"
Author: Shaitanah
Rating: G
Summary: A day of peace spent in the Jedi Temple before a new mission is another trial for Anakin & Obi-Wan.
Disclaimer: Star Wars belong to George Lucas, George Lucas is a genius! ;)
A/N: One-shot. Set during the Clone Wars, closer to AOTC. Please, R&R!
ON A RAINY DAY
Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there
With open arms and open eyes.
Incubus. Drive
'On days like this I feel lost. Because of him. Yes, he is the reason. We're bound through the Force itself. I've never had a bond that strong with anyone save Qui-Gon, perhaps. Through that bond I feel him: his fear, his struggle with himself, his offence at me and his desire to forgive me. I feel him.
There he is, by the window. Looking outside, to the future, keeping his dark secrets, locking himself up away from me, his friend. Am I really his friend? Do I wish him the best? Or he might be right about me: I'm holding him back, I want him to suffer, I hate him, I blame him for losing Qui-Gon just as he blames me for having lost his mother'.
Rain dropped heavily from dark-grey clouds, ready to burst. The street was almost veiled with its streams. It cleared up occasionally for a while but then the rain went on again. The sky was that ghastly leaden color mixed with crumbled rotten leaves and the wet smell of autumn in the city that made people depressed and droids slow-running. Everything seemed to get saturated with moist. Its fumes sneaked even into the Jedi Temple, chasing away its warmth, its sense of home.
Anakin watched the city – that beautiful but dangerous durasteel maze – from the inner window-sill in his quarters at the Temple. A single free day in an endless row of missions. It reminded him of being a kid, here, in the Temple. Being next to his Master, or with other younglings, or alone, building a whole new droid out of second-hand circuits.
Anakin leaned his forehead against the cool glass. He wanted to go and see Padme, to hold her and tell her he missed her. She always knew how to soothe his longing for action. But no, the Jedi Council specifically requested Kenobi and Skywalker stayed in the Temple. They had a new mission tomorrow. Nobody asks me, Anakin thought wearily, if that's what I want.
It's not I. There's no I in the Jedi Code, there's only us. It's not Kenobi & Skywalker, it's KenobiSkywalker. Or rather, Skynobi… Kewalker… Anakin chuckled. The game turned out to be quite funny. He made an attempt to change even more names. Ana-Wan… Obi-Kin… Same goes for the rest. Like… YodaWindu – Yondu.
Jedi make you lose your individuality. I had more freedom when I was a slave, his inner voice taunted him.
Anakin banished the thought. It was unbearable to think of his past, his mother.
The rain wasn't going to stop. The Jedi Council held an urgent conference. After that it would summon KenobiSkywalker and explain the details of the mission. Then they would be free to go. Obi-Wan would go to meditate and ponder over everything in a quiet place, of that Anakin was sure. Skywalker would visit his wife.
But the rain would never stop. And The Council would never finish its session. Could their be so much rain that the entire planet could choke with it? Anakin brooded. Born on a sandy planet, unaccustomed to heavy raining, he could never estimate such an amount of water correctly.
'There he is. I know I should come up and say something… anything. Don't be silent, don't – be – silent. But I can't. What if he does hate me?
Stupid idea! He's a Jedi, and a very good Jedi indeed. He can be reckless from time to time, even exasperating, but he knows right from wrong. He knows where hatred leads'.
Obi-Wan came closer and stood by the window, his hand placed on his belt. Jedi found it comforting to feel the grip of their lightsaber from time to time. Anakin said nothing. At least that was less irritating than his Master's stupid habit to tousle his beard!
He regarded Obi-Wan studiously. The Jedi Master looked much older, his fair hair trimmed with whiteness, his face wrinkled and sad. There was the kind of sad wisdom to it now.
"You look thoughtful", Kenobi said. "Do I seem that old?"
"What? No! I was just–". What's the point to deny? Obi-Wan did look worn out.
Anakin felt his hand on his shoulder and sighed. There was no comforting sense to Kenobi's touch now. It seemed he needed comfort himself.
"I hate doing nothing", Anakin admitted.
Thunder rumbled through the air. A golden bolt of lightning shot through the clouds and disappeared without a trace.
"The sky is crying…" Anakin mused. Obi-Wan cocked his head curiously. "Padme sang me a song that her parents used to sing her when she was a kid. A long time ago. It deals with rain and all that. I asked her what rain was… back on Naboo, remember? And she sang me that song".
'I think about him and Senator Amidala. They made friends a long time ago. Their friendship is even stronger now. How much of what happens between them does he not reveal to me?'
Anakin gathered up his knees and buried his face in them, demonstrating how bored he was. Obi-Wan chuckled.
"It's not going to work on the Council, my young Padawan. We shan't be dismissed until the time is right".
Anakin muttered something incomprehensible.
Tiny droplets of rain chimed like a ribbon of silver bells, touching everything solid that was on their way. Skywalker had decided to spend the useless day outdoors, but that stupid rain spoiled everything. He had to grit his teeth and shut up. That was the Jedi way. Anakin smirked as he imagined Yoda telling the younglings the First and Foremost Rule of the Jedi: 'Grit your teeth, you must! Shut up and never complain, you must! Be yourself, you must NOT!' Too bad he couldn't share those seditious thoughts with Obi-Wan. The Jedi Master just would not understand.
'I feel this restlessness in him. He's like a tight spring ready to leap forward. I want to save him from the dark, but he only pulls further away from me. I'm losing everything.
That's exactly what I believe: if I lose him, I'll lose everything.
He tells me he's only "a promise". I gave Qui-Gon a promise a long time ago – to train the boy who might have been the Chosen One. He refuses to understand he's grown to be so much more than that. A brother. A friend. A hint of memory of Qui-Gon himself. He's so much like my Master, so very much more that I am. Qui-Gon should have lived to train this boy. I should have died'.
"You're thinking about Qui-Gon", Anakin stated. Obi-Wan raised his head and looked questioningly at his apprentice. He wanted to ask how he knew… again. "It kills me that you do that all the time".
Astounded by the revelation, Obi-Wan arched his eye-brows. He wondered if he might have asked why.
"You are so sad. You almost don't smile. The war has drained us all, but it seems you live in the past to escape the dreadful reality. But your past is painful. No need to dwell on it all the time".
He never stopped amazing Obi-Wan. Anakin sounded so calm, so mature despite the abyss of his own pain stinging him.
Skywalker kept staring at the rain. Its peal became softer. The thunderstorm withered, having left a sheer curtain of rain ready to fall and dry. Its fierceness faded away. Finally the sky was at peace.
Anakin turned his head to Obi-Wan. A broad grin blossomed there.
'How does he do that? He can calm me down like noone else can. Of course, he is the source of my greatest worries, my regrets… Damn myself for thinking he would never know! No matter how hard I tried to hide that from him, he had learnt of that promise, regardless. He used to refer to himself as "a promise".
But we're done with that now. I feel he has forsaken his disbelief a long time ago…'
"Let's go and kick those Separatists' asses, Master", Anakin interjected into the flow of Kenobi's thoughts. "But before that let's have fun and not allow that stupid war to spoil it!"
Obi-Wan looked at him with eyes wide open for a moment, then laughed out loud. How could Anakin be so optimistic?
"Now that's a shift of mood! You were very gloomy when I came".
Anakin shrugged. He hopped down from the window-sill and looked around, puzzled. It was as if he found himself in the Temple for the first time. Obi-Wan watched him attentively. Skywalker gestured briskly and rushed out of the hall. Intrigued, Kenobi stayed where he was.
Anakin returned quickly, carrying something round in his hands. It turned out to be a ball. A regular sports ball. Obi-Wan observed it for a while. Anakin planted it in the middle of the corridor, arranged a pair of gate and brushed his cloak aside.
"'Important days of reflection are as days of action'", he quoted Master Yoda and added: "But above all, days of fun important are. Agree with me you if do, join will me you!"
"Anakin! Master Yoda doesn't speak like that! Besides, it's rude to monkey people, especially those who are older than you are".
Anakin's grin broadened. His eyes sparkled mischievously. He threw the ball over to Kenobi and giggled when Obi-Wan failed to catch it. The Jedi Master reached out for it clumsily, slipped on the floor and fell down with a banging sound. Anakin couldn't choke laughter.
"Stop it! That's not funny at all!" Obi-Wan scolded, chuckling. Oh no, the first hint of laughter! Anakin wouldn't let him get away with that.
He picked the ball up and threw it hard, attempting to reach the gate. His apprentice, however, showed admirable speed and intercepted it. A triumphant smile bloomed on his lips. He kicked the ball. It hurtled above Obi-Wan's head, landed on the floor by the gate, jumped up and rolled around.
'He knows how to make me feel good. Just as I know that about him. Maybe I do fit him better than Qui-Gon, after all…'
"Jedi-ball Super Bowl, the final of the year!" Anakin yelled, beating the ball into the floor smartly. "Skywalker versus Kenobi! Tension is so thick you can cut it with a knife! The tribunes are quiet. The rivals are almost even. So who's gonna win? This is the question that has deprived everyone of peace!"
"Enough blabbering, Anakin!" Obi-Wan taunted. "I'm going to beat the Sith out of you!"
Laughing and cheering, they went on. Mournful sky cleared up, the air became transparent and fresh. Pale rays of sun tore through the cold.
Yoda's wrinkled head, famed with elfin, pointed ears, peeked out of the corner. The Jedi Master chuckled softly as he regarded the Master and his apprentice make fun of each other and try to triumph in the weirdest kind of sports.
May 25, 2006