One day, Murtagh is going to kill him.
He's going to kill him slowly and as painfully as possible. He's going to trap him, chain him so he can't escape. He's going to slice his skin the way it's not life-threatening but hurts like hell. He's going to crush his bones, every single one of them. And then, he's going to rip his throat and watch his blood spill all over the floor. And he is sure as hell not going to care that Shruikan dies. Maybe Thorn will, but he won't.
Because…
Because Galbatorix makes him say and do things he hates, things he despises himself for. Things that hurt, not only others but him as well. Because Galbatorix ruined everything he ever longed for. He shattered every hope for a "normal" life and love Murtagh ever had; the first time when he killed Tornac, the second when he forced him into his service.
And Murtagh can't do anything about it. He could kill himself but that would put an end to Thorn's life as well and he's not going to let that happen, no matter what Eragon says. Eragon… probably hated him now. Bah, who was he fooling, Eragon hated him. No wonder, actually, after what he did. And now he knows. Knows that they're brothers. Murtagh's heart clenches at the thought of it.
Why on earth did I have to tell him that?
Because it hurts me.
Zar'roc lies unsheathed next to him, its blood-red blade glowing in the light of the fire. The way Eragon had looked at him when he took it… The way his eyes had widened when Murtagh told him of their blood relationship…
God, I was so close!
And now Murtagh wonders what it would be like to kiss Eragon. That time on the plateau it would have been so easy. Just a little tilt of the head and that would have been it. Most likely, it would have made matters only worse than they already were, but it would be worth it. Because, then he'd know if it was simply curiousity that would kill the cat or something else.
He wishes it's just curiousity. The other… the something would make it even more painful to think about his brother. But in moments like these, when he watches Zar'rocs blade reflecting the light like Eragons eyes do, he can only think about what it would be like and hope the ache will cease one day.