TITLE: Calendar Girl
AUTHOR: LOTSlover
CHARACTERS: Batman / Wonder Woman
RATING: T
WARNINGS: Author Chooses Not to Use Warnings
DISCLAIMER: I love Justice League, but especially Batman and Wonder Woman. Unfortunately, I do not own the characters and if I did things would be much different for them.
SUMMARY: Wonder Woman tries to talk Batman into doing a Justice League calendar for charity. Unfortunately, she doesn't know what she's gotten herself into. BMWW Humor & Fluff.
A/N: I know it's been said before I have to thank my awesome Beta and good friend, Dinasis! This one is for you! This idea hit me out of the blue and begged to be written. I hope you enjoy the fun while I go work on the next update for Father of the Bride. :)
Calendar Girl
"Hell no."
"Come on, Batman," Diana goaded him, her voice holding a pleading note to it. "I really think you should do it. It'll be a lot of fun."
"No," he ground out again as he stood from his chair in the Monitor Womb with files in hand.
Without even turning around to check, he knew she would follow him. She was very stubborn and more than determined, but so was he and he was not about to change his mind on this. Not even for her.
"Please, Bruce," she tried again in her most pleasant tone as she followed him out of the Monitor Womb. She wasn't exactly sure where he was going next, but wherever it was, she was going with him whether he liked it or not. "It's for charity."
"I'll write a check," he rasped, casting a sidelong glance at the gorgeous Amazon walking beside him with her hands clasped behind her back.
It was only because of her sinfully long legs that she was able to keep up with his hurried pace. She was one of only a very few who could keep up with him…and in more than just one way. She could go toe-to-toe with him in numerous ways and it fascinated him to no end. He'd never met anyone like her before and he knew he never would again.
"Bruce," she gently prodded in that sultry voice that always made his heart melt. She tilted her head slightly in a playfully chiding way that amused him as she tucked some raven strands behind her ear. "This is important."
"So is my money," he countered as he continued stalking through the corridors of the Watchtower. "I make sure it always makes a difference."
He wasn't the least bit annoyed by her following him or the fact that she had been trying to persuade him to do this charity project for the last half an hour. Flirting and antagonizing her was the highlight of his week. If he were truly honest with himself or anyone else for that matter, he loved it…loved her, but he wouldn't admit it.
At least not just yet.
He was dangerously close to giving in to what he wanted and what he wanted more than anything in this world was her. It was becoming more and more difficult not to grab her and kiss her, to press her up against the wall. Even though he was growing desperate to ravage her senseless, he just couldn't quite silence the small voice in his head telling him to run.
"You know what I mean," she said with a frown.
The amusement sparkling in her bright blue eyes betrayed her causing his stomach do an unexpected flip, making it more than difficult to maintain an air of annoyance when his desire for her was wrestling with his self-control. Why did she have to be so damn charming? She had been wreaking absolute havoc with his libido for the last two and a half years and if he didn't get some relief soon, he swore he'd implode.
"There's so much more to you than just your money, Bruce," she insisted, her lips pursed in obvious disapproval of his statement.
Turning a corner, they passed some junior leaguers who were desperately trying not to stare at the superhero couple walking past them. Rumors about Batman and Wonder Woman had been storming through the Watchtower for months on end and only gaining steam along with the sexual tension that ignited the air any time the two of them were in the same vicinity.
More money had passed hands in the last year, laying bets on when they would finally get together, than had ever been wagered in the Watchtower's entire history. Now that the couple had just been seen together talking intently, another flurry of new bets were sure to be placed.
Batman smiled to himself as the two junior leaguers began whispering frantically to each other. He knew all about the rumors and the bets being placed. Rather than being furious about it, he relished the fact that they were being paired together. It was far more preferable than all the infuriating tabloids predicting Diana marrying Superman.
The thought made him sneer.
Stopping without warning outside of his personal lab, he turned towards her, his lips dangerously close to hers. "Oh, there's a whole lot more to me than just my money, Princess," he flirted with a smirk. "More than you can begin to imagine."
Diana swallowed hard, forgetting how to breathe as she lost herself in his close proximity. She'd been dreaming about kissing him again ever since the Indian restaurant during the Thanagarian invasion, his comment about her not needing to be sorry she kissed him repeatedly playing over in her mind since then.
He had all but admitted that he felt something for her and she definitely couldn't ignore her desire for him that had been growing into something far stronger over the last several months. It was something that she'd never felt before and she wasn't going to give up until she got what she wanted.
He watched in fascination as the corners of her lips slowly curled, her eye darkening with a mutual desire that he felt clear to his toes. His heart began to race despite his best efforts to remain in complete control. How she managed to get his insides turned into tangled knots of lust and desire every damn time was beyond him. He had a feeling she would be a mystery he'd never be able to unravel, but oh how he ached inside to try.
"I don't know, Bruce," she replied with a sultry purr. "I have a very wild imagination."
It was Bruce's turn to swallow hard as she slowly raked her teeth over her bottom lip, refusing to back down from his all-too close proximity or his flirtatious advances. His fingers ached with the desire thrumming through him now, anxious to bury themselves in that thick raven mane as he kissed her breathless.
Instead, he forced himself to turn away from her and punch in the code, the door to his lab sliding open. "Good," he stated, his voice losing a measure of the practiced heated venom that Batman usually carried, "then you can imagine me in the calendar."
Greek curses preceded her into his lab, putting the smirk back on Batman's face as he laid the files down on the counter. "Hera, Bruce!" she said in obvious exasperation. "That wasn't funny. Kal and John are doing the calendar. Why can't you?"
"I'm busy," he claimed as he turned to leave his lab again, wondering just how long she was going to continue to follow him.
He was eventually going to have to return to the cave to begin preparations for patrol tonight which included getting a shower and clean uniform. His thoughts momentarily took him down a path that
included her and him, a loofah sponge, and a steaming hot shower. He would have to revisit that later in the privacy of home.
"With what?" she demanded to know, folding her arms against her chest as she followed him back out of his lab.
"Gotham," he evenly stated as he made his way to his next destination.
Diana released an exasperated breath as she walked beside him, her brow furrowing in thought. "There is always something going on in Gotham that requires your attention. Besides, this will only take a couple of minutes."
"Right, Princess," he responded with an air of obvious disbelief. "Two minutes turns into thirty and that's time I don't have to offer."
"Not even for me?" she innocently asked, but her eyes were anything but innocent in that moment.
He cast a sidelong glance at her, thankful for the white lens of his cowl hiding the fact that he was staring at her. It also hid the absolute adoration that no doubt permeated his eyes in that moment as he fought the overwhelming urge to kiss her right there.
"What I don't understand is why you, of all people, agreed to do this ridiculous Justice League calendar," he said, refusing to answer her. She knew she had him with her question. He could hardly refuse her anything. It was hard enough to refuse her his heart and it already belonged to her.
"Why is that?" she questioned him with a frown as they entered the commissary together, turning heads and generating a fresh buzz of gossip all over again that caused the cafeteria to hum loudly like a virtual beehive.
Diana seemed oblivious to the conversations roiling through the commissary involving her and her current companion as she tried to persuade the Dark Knight to be in the calendar. Bruce, on the other hand, loved every moment of it. Having everyone pair her with him kept her from being paired with someone else and inflaming his jealousy.
He was actually considering placing his own secret wager in the betting pool on when they would get together. He might as well make some money on it if everyone was going to gamble on their love life. Besides, he was the only one who knew when he would finally be ready to make that move. He just had to find a way to silence that nagging voice of fear in his head that told him that he was no good for her.
"You do know what kind of calendar this is, right?" he asked her as he grabbed a tray and then a cup of coffee and a sandwich.
Diana's brow furrowed even further as she thought back on the conversation that had led to her agreeing to do this calendar as she stopped before the iced mocha machine. "Yes, it's a pin-up calendar," she told him."So what?"
Bruce couldn't help but chuckle as she took a salad and followed him to a table where Superman sat eating his lunch and reading a newspaper. "Do you even know what a pin-up calendar is, Princess?"
"Yes," she said with a nod as she sat down next to Bruce across from Superman. "It's a calendar that is hung up on a wall."
Bruce and Clark shared a knowing smile as Clark lowered his head in an effort to stifle the laughter that bubbled up in his throat. Diana looked from Batman to Superman and back again, confusion coloring her face as she waited for an explanation.
"Princess, a pin-up calendar is a calendar with provocative pictures," he informed her, an unexpected wave of sheer jealousy washing through him as he suddenly realized that Diana would likely be wearing next to nothing in this calendar and every male in the world would be buying one just to ogle her. His appetite vanished in that instant as he began to plot ways to buy up every single one of these calendars.
"What do mean?" she demanded to know, panic swelling in her chest. "I thought we were going to be in our uniforms!"
Clark could contain his laughter no longer as he sat back in his chair with his arm around his stomach, laughter spilling from his lips. "I wondered why you were so eager to agree to do this, Di."
"I…I thought that we…that I…that you…" she stuttered, flabbergasted by the idea.
"Don't worry about it, Princess," Bruce reassured her, more than relieved by her sudden indignation. "Just don't do it."
"Too late," Clark told them. "The photographer comes tomorrow. Besides, everyone agreed to do it because you're doing it, Di. You can't back out now. The Cancer Society won't get the funding promised if we don't do it."
Diana scowled in response, her fork bending beneath the force of her grip. "What exactly do I have to wear?"
"It's a beach themed calendar so I imagine some sort of bathing suit," Clark said with an indifferent shrug. "To tell you the truth, I'm actually not quite certain. I'm sure it's nothing too revealing."
"Oh, well that won't be so bad then," she decided with a small measure of relief. "It probably won't be much different from my uniform."
Conveniently, Black Canary came to stand at their table just then, a couple of small bags in her hand. "Hey, Diana," Black Canary greeted her with a grin as she handed her one of the bags. "Here's your outfit for the calendar shoot tomorrow."
Diana reluctantly took it out of the small bag, nervous about what she was about to find inside. A bright pink blush suffused her face as she pulled out two small pieces. "And what in the name of Hera is this supposed to be?" she growled. "Red floss…with my Wonder Woman symbol across the bottom?"
"It's your bikini for the calendar," Black Canary told her with a smile as Bruce choked on his coffee, spitting it out all over Clark. "Mine is black, I think Vixen's is green, Fire and Ice…you know I'm not really sure what color they're going to be wearing. Zatanna decided on dark blue I think."
"Who else is doing this?" Diana asked.
"Well, I just found out that Hawk and Dove were more than eager to volunteer," Dinah revealed.
"That'll make people want to run out and buy it," Batman muttered under his breath.
Dinah continued without missing a beat, her voice filled with excitement. "We tried to talk Aquaman into posing for the calendar, but he was already in a snit about something or other and returned to Atlantis, refusing to set foot on dry land again so we're in need of a Justice League member for the month of October now."
"Batman would love to do it!" Diana immediately chimed in.
"No," Batman bit out with palpable disgust, his lips twisting into a sneer.
Black Canary put her hands on her hips. "Come on, Batman," she replied with a frown. "Flash is doing May."
Clark grabbed his napkin, wiping Bruce's coffee off of his face. "How is he going to do that? He has a secret identity."
"He's not letting it stop him from being in the calendar. He's wearing the swimsuit over his uniform," she said with a chuckle.
Clark frowned despite Canary's apparent amusement. "I think I'm officially scared to see what I'm going to have to wear."
"It's too late to back out now," Batman reminded him with a smirk, still trying to figure out how to get his hands on all the calendars without Diana finding out about it.
"Oh, you'll be wearing this," Dinah told him, handing him a bag smaller than the one she'd just given Diana.
Clark flushed a bright shade of scarlet as he held up a blue Speedo with the symbol of the House of El on the front of it. "Okay," he drawled in stunned disbelief, "and where is the rest of it?"
"That's what I'd like to know!" Diana squeaked as she continued to stare at the thin red strings of what was supposed to be swimwear, a golden WW on the bottoms.
Bruce couldn't take his eyes off of the red bikini Diana was holding up by her fingertips, his mind racing with ideas and various situations where he might need to help her remove it. A soft groan slipped past his lips, his uniform pants becoming far too tight and too embarrassing to move from his seat any time soon. He was in dire need of relief or an ice cold shower. Maybe he would get lucky and Diana would accidently dump her iced mocha in his lap.
Hearing his soft groan, Diana turned to look at Bruce, a grin spreading across her face as she noticed how flushed he looked, her extraordinary hearing picking up how ragged his breathing had become. "Are you alright, Bruce?" she murmured. "You seem to be struggling just a bit."
Bruce quickly cleared his throat, turning his attention back to the sandwich in his hands that was now mangled and crumbling from the death-grip he'd had on it. "Just thinking about a case I need to work on when I get back to Gotham," he grumbled.
Diana leaned in a little closer. "Are you sure it's not something else? Something small…and red…and barely there that I'll be modeling tomorrow?"
Mesmerized by the sultry tone of her voice, the knowing curve of her red lips, the glint of lust in her eyes, it was all Bruce could do not to throw her onto the table in the commissary and take her right there in front of everyone. He began to lean in, slowly closing the distance between them as his gaze fell to her enticing lips that practically begged him to kiss her.
His head jerked back at the last minute as the sounds of an argument erupted on the other side of the table between Dinah and Green Arrow who had evidently just arrived. "You are definitely not doing this calendar, Pretty Bird," Ollie stated in no uncertain terms, a scowl on his face. "I forbid it."
"You forbid it?" Dinah cried, anger simmering as she attempted to restrain herself from hitting him. "Just because we sleep together doesn't mean you can tell me what I can and can't do!"
"I don't want every man in the world staring at my girlfriend's body," Ollie maintained. "That's for me to do and no one else."
"I'm not going to be naked, Arrow. Besides, it's for charity," Dinah countered with a huff.
"I don't care if it ends world hunger. It ain't gonna happen," Oliver ground out.
"You're impossible! I'm doing it and there's nothing you can do to stop me!" Dinah shouted at him before turning on her heel and storming out of the commissary.
Ollie turned to look at the three founders staring at him, a sheepish expression creeping across his face. "If you'll excuse me, I have to see someone about buying a few million calendars."
They watched as Ollie stalked away, pulling his cell phone out of his uniform and grumbling something under his breath but girlfriends with hot tempers. Diana turned to look at Bruce and Clark, wondering what in Hera she had gotten herself into by agreeing to this while simultaneously cursing Ollie and Dinah for interrupting the intimate moment between her and Bruce.
Hera, if he didn't kiss her soon, she swore she was going to go mad.
"Well, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go try on my bikini for the photo shoot," she told them, glancing at Clark with a mischievous glint in her eye as she stood to her feet. "Care to come along for a sneak preview for tomorrow, Batman?"
Bruce nearly swallowed his tongue with her suggestion, wanting more than anything to race her to her quarters right now and forget all about the bikini. Instead, he kept his body rigid and his feet planted firmly on the floor. "I'll have to pass, Princess," he managed to choke out as he forced himself to look away. "I have to leave for Gotham."
Diana leaned down close to his face, causing a heated shiver of desire to race up his spine when he thought she was going to kiss him. She moved to the side of his cowl at the last second to whisper in his ear. "Your loss, Dark Knight. I guess you'll just have to wait for the calendar."
With that, she left without looking back, knowing that she had gotten to him. It's only a matter of time now, she thought to herself, humming happily all the way to her quarters.
Bruce watched Diana as she left, appreciating the sexy sway of her hips as well as the firm roundness of her bottom. What in hell was he thinking not going with her? He could be in her quarters right now, seeing her in that little red bikini, slowly removing it from that magnificent body, kissing her soft smooth skin, and –
His lustful thoughts were abruptly interrupted by Clark's laughter from across the table. Bruce turned his head to find the Daily Planet reporter handing him a napkin, a goofy grin on his face. "What's that for?" Batman snapped, taking the napkin.
"You have some drool on your chin," Clark teased.
"I do not," Batman insisted with a snarl.
"You are such an idiot for not going after her," Clark said as Bruce stood to his feet. "Everyone knows you're madly in love with her so you're not fooling anyone by trying to deny it. Even Diana knows it."
"Whether I'm in love with her or not is not the point," Batman bit out as Clark began to walk with him. "The fact still remains that nothing can come of it. Being with me would be far too dangerous."
"For who?" Clark questioned him with a chuckle. "For Joker? Riddler? Bane?"
"You don't know what they're really like, Clark," he coldly stated. "If Joker ever got his hands on her…"
Bruce couldn't even bring himself to finish that sentence, not with the fierce shudder of panic that roiled through him just thinking about it. It almost buckled his knees, reminding him once more why he had to protect her by pushing her away even though it was killing him inside to do it.
"What I don't understand is why you're not more upset about this Justice League pin-up calendar," Clark muttered. "You do realize Diana's picture will be hung up in every garage, health club, and bar around the world. Everyone will be leering at the woman you love. Doesn't that upset you?"
"I don't know. What does Lois think?" Batman asked in a decidedly calm voice, a slight smirk playing at the corner of his mouth.
Clark cast a furtive glance at him, wondering what the billionaire was up to. He decided to let it go for now. He had bigger problems of his own like how to tell Lois that was going to be the June Justice Leaguer of the month wearing a small bit of bright blue fabric and nothing else.
XXX
Diana wore her bathrobe and pink fuzzy bunny slippers as she made her way to where they were doing the photo shoot on the Watchtower. She was not about to parade through the halls of the floating satellite in nothing but the revealing string bikini she had gotten talked into wearing.
"This is for charity…this is for charity," she repeatedly murmured under her breath, fully unaware that she was being followed by a certain superhero of the night.
A smirk tugged at Batman's lips as he followed her, keeping his distance and yet keeping an eye on her. Bruce never would've dreamed that his princess was a pink-loving, bunny slipper-wearing kind of woman, but it only made him adore her even more if that was possible.
He silently slipped inside the room that had been designated for the photo shoot, keeping himself hidden in the shadows of the room. If things went according to plan, the calendar shoot for Diana's part shouldn't be as bad as he had originally imagined.
He had made a few well-placed phone calls yesterday afternoon by Bruce Wayne, ensuring some modest discretion for the Princess of the Amazons. No one was going to be seeing more of her than he was going to allow. He was more than determined to do whatever it took to make sure he was the only one who got to see her in all her wondrous gods-given glory some day.
He also had a back-up plan waiting in the wings if this went south.
Diana smiled brightly, shaking hands with the photographer who was a woman, much to Bruce's relief, as was each member of the lighting crew and staff brought along to help. They talked for a few moments before Diana began to remove her bathrobe and bunny slippers.
Bruce clenched his jaw and ground his teeth to keep the sudden moan trapped in his throat from escaping. She was stunning standing there in her little red string bikini, her raven hair falling in curly waves down her back. Her swimsuit left little to the imagination, his eyes roaming over her perfect form where he wanted his hands and mouth to follow.
He silently began to recite every single criminal locked up in Arkham in an effort to tamp down on the lust pumping through his veins. It didn't help though when she tilted her head and arched her back, running her fingers through her hair.
"Where do you want me to stand?" Diana asked.
"Actually, we had a change of mind," the photographer announced as she handed her a piece of material. "We would like you to wear this sarong around your waist."
"Alright," Diana agreed, somewhat confused by the change in plans. She held up the sarong, finding it to be nothing more than a translucent piece of red material.
Sneering, Bruce swore under his breath at the sight of the sheer sarong. That was not what he'd had in mind when he had told them to add a cover-up for her photo shoot. His jaw dropped as he stared at her, his heart racing as she finished wrapping the sheer red material around her waist. It only managed to make her look even sexier than she did before. Dammit.
"Perfect," the photographer beamed. "Let's get started. Why don't you stand here beneath this beach umbrella?"
Bruce watched her every single move as she placed a hand on her hip, her other hand settling on the pole of the umbrella. Of course, she was a complete natural at it, relaxed and flashing a dazzling smile that made Bruce's groin twitch even more than it already had.
Her sapphire eyes sparkled, her beautiful inner radiance shining through in her every move. There was no denying the purity of heart that resided inside of her, the absolute love and compassion she emanated without reservation.
In that moment, Bruce didn't think that he could possibly love her more, his heart expanding and seemingly filling his chest. It wasn't just her physical beautiful that was so attractive to him. It was the intelligence in her eyes, her passionate spirit and confidence that was evident in everything she did – even this.
"Great, Diana," the photographer complemented her as she took one photo after another. "Have you ever considered going into modeling? You are a natural in front of the camera."
"No, not really," Diana confessed, somewhat embarrassed.
Just then, one of the crew members turned on a fan that made her hair flutter in the wind, the sarong around her waist pulling away from her body. It was breathtaking, causing Bruce to gasp in response to what he was witnessing.
Diana immediately turned a little, tilting her head back slightly and closing her eyes as if enjoying the feel of the wind brushing against her body, a soft smile gracing her red lips. The photographer grew more excited by what she was seeing, snapping furiously and moving about the set.
Diana suddenly moved a hand to her sarong, untying it and slowly letting it slip through her fingers as the wind took it away. "Amazing, Diana!" the photographer cheered. "That was perfect!"
Bruce's legs suddenly felt like they were made of jelly, forcing him to lean against the wall for support as he released a long slow breath. He suddenly wished that fan was pointing in his direction as he brushed a gauntleted hand over his mouth and chin, finding beads of sweat had gathered there. This was not at all what he had anticipated.
He swore it had gotten at least a hundred degrees hotter in here as he continued to watch Diana with rapt attention, completely mesmerized by every shift of a hip or flip of her hair. It felt like a furnace in here, making him wonder what had happened to the environmental controls on the Watchtower.
What was even more charming to him was how she exuded so much sensuality and she wasn't even aware she was doing it. Despite how sexy she could be, she still managed to retain such an innocent air about her, a sweet naiveté that he loved.
"That was just amazing, Diana," the photographer gushed as she lowered her camera.
"Are we done already?" she asked, surprised.
"Yes, you were magnificent."
"Thank God," Bruce murmured to himself, making a very quick exit. He couldn't take one more moment of being in there with her without being forced to do something about the overwhelming desire that had gripped him.
"Thanks, it was really fun," Diana smiled as she reached for her bathrobe. "Am I the last one?"
Clark suddenly walked in dressed in a blue terrycloth bathrobe, a sheepish smile on his face. "Are you ready for me?"
"You're just in time, Superman," the photographer said with a smile.
"You'll be fine, Kal," Diana leaned in to whisper in his ear. "It's nothing to be worried about."
"Thanks, Di," Clark replied with a nervous sigh.
"What did Lois say about you doing this?" she softly asked as the photographer moved away to change cameras.
"She doesn't know yet," Clark told her, rubbing the back of his neck in obvious discomfort.
"I'm sure she'll understand," she reassured him. "It's for charity, right?"
"Right," he muttered as he drew an uneasy breath, sounding less than convinced about Lois understanding as he watched Diana leave.
XXX
"Batman to Green Arrow."
"Hey ya, Bats!"
"Did you get the goods?"
"Yah, we're all set."
"Good," Batman rasped into his commlink, his voice all business. "I'll meet you at the rendezvous point in fifteen."
"I'll be there with bells on. Arrow out."
The corners of Batman's lips quirked into a self-satisfied smirk as he relaxed back into his seat a little more. Things had gone better than he'd hoped. A couple of very substantial donations had come in – one from Queen Industries and another from Wayne Enterprises that would benefit the Cancer Society for the next five years at least.
On top of that, Bruce and Oliver had managed to buy every single calendar that had been printed since the photo shoot a week ago along with all of the negatives and the copyrights. There was no way that any pictures of Diana or Dinah were getting out unless either of them authorized it.
For a split second, Bruce almost felt guilty about buying up all of the calendars behind Diana's back. She had been so proud to be able to help people like that; her zealous compassion for various charity events was renowned. Not to mention, she had looked absolutely amazing in the pictures, more so than even he had dreamed was possible. Images of that photo shoot had been seared into his mind ever since that day a week ago, filling his dreams and adding to his fantasies about her.
At the same time, he couldn't stand the thought of Diana's picture being hung in every pawn shop and biker's bar around the world. It inflamed his jealous anger every time he thought about it. His gauntleted fingers wrapped even tighter around the steering wheel of the Batmobile as he raced through the night to meet up with Arrow, images of men leering at her picture as well as the vile things they would say about her only fueling his dark emotions.
His princess was not going to be viewed as some sex toy or a plaything to be drooled over. She meant far more to him than that and he was bound and determined to protect her no matter what it took or how much it cost him.
Now, if only he could find the courage to tell her just how much he loved her.
Pulling up beside Green Arrow's motorcycle, he turned the Batmobile off. Getting out, he noticed Green Arrow standing several yards away from a large stack of boxes. Batman stalked towards the Emerald Archer, ready to get this over with once and for all. This was a secret mission that would never be talked about again for as long as either of them lived.
"Ready to do this?" Arrow asked without even looking up as he drew an arrow from his quiver.
"I was ready last week," Batman grunted as he came to stand beside him.
"You know we're both dead if Diana or Dinah ever catch wind of this," Oliver stated. It was more of a statement then a question. Both already knew the answer.
"That's why they'll never find out…right?" Batman reminded him. The hard edge to his voice made it very clear that if Oliver ever confessed to Dinah, he would find himself being hunted down by a very pissed off Bat.
The last thing Batman wanted to deal with was an enraged Amazon Princess. He didn't have time to spend the next three months in a full body cast. Besides, how would Bruce Wayne ever begin to explain that one to the world?
"My lips are sealed," Ollie swore, nocking his arrow before aiming it towards the dozens of boxes.
"Is that all of them?" Batman asked. While he trusted Green Arrow, he also wouldn't put it past him keep a few just in case.
"All except for the two you had me leave out," Ollie responded, letting go of the bow string. "One for you…one for me."
Both men watched in silence as the arrow sailed through the air, finding its mark dead center in the stack of boxes. Neither of them flinched as the arrow exploded, setting the calendars on fire. They stood there for several moments as they watched them burn to ash inside the large orange ball of flames.
"Well, I guess that does it," Green Arrow finally said. "We never talked and this never happened. I never saw you…you never saw me tonight."
"I have no idea what you're talking about," Batman evenly replied as he turned to walk back to the Batmobile.
"Right," Ollie snickered. "Hey, Bats. You forgot something."
Batman turned around, taking the Justice League calendar from Ollie's outstretched hand. He began to flip through it, smiling to himself at how the calendar had actually turned out. Finding June, a full-fledged snort of laughter escaped when he saw Clark wearing nothing but a blue Speedo with his famous "S" symbol in a very appropriate spot on the front of his swimsuit. He had his hands on his hips, a large colorful beach ball under one arm.
"June?" Ollie asked.
"Yep," Batman responded with an amused smirk. "Lois is going to kill him if she ever gets wind of this."
"Yah, too bad there's none left."
"This picture just might accidentally appear in Lois's apartment," Batman decided.
"That's just cruel, man," Ollie chuckled with shake of his head.
Batman only grunted. "Where's August?"
"I took the liberty of tearing Dinah out of your calendar," Ollie informed him. "No one gets to see that except for me. By the way, I loved October."
Batman turned to October to find a very intimidating picture of himself standing in his uniform with his cape draped dramatically around him, his arms folded against his chest. He was standing beside a fake palm tree, a deadly sneer on his lips practically daring someone to try to make him crack a smile. "I think it turned out rather well."
"You're supposed to make criminals wet themselves, not innocent civilians," Oliver pointed out. "Where's the Speedo they wanted you to wear?"
"Burned it."
A sharp gasp escaped Bruce's lips against his will as he flipped to December, Diana's breathtaking image staring back at him. His throat was suddenly dry as he lost himself in the bluest eyes he'd ever seen, the brilliance of that smile that lit his world and the body that defied reality.
"Why don't you stop drooling over her and just tell her how you feel?"
Batman didn't even bother looking up from Diana's picture, his mind and heart already asking him that very same question. "It's complicated," he finally replied.
"Love is meant to be complicated and so is life," Oliver told him, "and it's not going to get any more uncomplicated as time goes by so you might as well tell her you love her and stop mooning over her like a lovesick schoolboy."
Batman scowled as he came to a stop beside his car door. "I'm not a lovesick schoolboy. I'm trying to protect her."
Green Arrow laughed in response. "You're trying to protect the strongest woman in the world, one of the very few who can take on Superman? That sounds like a pretty pathetic reason to me, even for you."
Bruce's chin dropped to his chest as he released a disheartened breath. "I know," he softly admitted. "I never said it was logical."
"Look, Bruce," Ollie began, leaning his backside against the hood of the Batmobile as he folded his arms against his chest. "I understand you're afraid of losing her or Joker hurting her, but she can only make your life better. Sure, me and Dinah get into some pretty heated fights sometimes, but let me tell you. The makeup part is more than worth it.
"There isn't anything in this world I wouldn't do for her…obviously. I mean between the two of us we coughed up twenty million dollars for calendars that we just incinerated. If that's not true love, I don't know what is."
The corner of Bruce's mouth twitched in amusement. He did have it bad when it came to Diana. He guessed it was time to finally do something about it. "I'll see you later," he told him. "And by the way, if Diana's picture isn't ripped out of your calendar in the next five minutes, your quiver will find a new home in your—"
"Already done, buddy," Oliver interrupted him, holding up his hands in self-defense. "It was the first thing I did."
"Good," Batman muttered before getting into the car with his calendar in hand and driving off into the night.
XXX
Diana suddenly appeared on the transportation pad in the Batcave. Her forehead was creased with determination, her blue eyes flaming with irritation bordering on anger if her suspicion was proven to be fact, but she had to find a certain Bat first.
She stormed through the Batcave, finding the object of her search sitting at his massive computer with his back to her. "Princess," he greeted her with a dark grating rasp without even turning around.
"What happened to the calendars, Bruce?" she demanded without preamble, coming to stand behind him with her hands on her hips.
"Nice to see you too," he calmly replied without even turning around. "What are you doing up at this hour?"
"I came to find out what happened to the Justice League calendars we made for charity," she informed him.
"I have no idea what you're talking about," he responded without missing a single keystroke on his computer as he continued typing up his reports for that night's patrol.
"Somehow I find that very hard to believe," she snorted in disbelief as she came around to lean against his computer desk so she could face him. "I have a feeling that you are at the heart of this mysterious disappearance."
"What disappearance?" he asked, avoiding making eye contact with her. He suddenly wished he hadn't taken off his cowl so he could gape at her all he wanted without her knowing. He was more than anxious to explore everything that he saw in that calendar picture and so much more.
"It seems that all of the calendars were bought by an unknown source," she revealed. "They were picked up yesterday by someone and no one has seen them since. You wouldn't know anything about that would you?"
"I didn't steal the calendars, Princess," he muttered with a frown. "What reason could I possibly have to take them?"
Diana stared at him for a long moment, chewing her bottom lip and deciding on a different approach since the direct one wasn't working. She slowly bent over, turning his chair to face her before placing a hand on each arm of the chair. She leaned in close, her blue eyes growing darker as she intently studied him.
"You know jealousy is a very powerful emotion, Bruce," she said in a low husky voice and allowing her proximity to have its desired effect on her prey. "It can drive a man to do almost anything…even steal."
"Well, I guess then it's a good thing I have nothing to be jealous about," he murmured, meeting her stare with his usual emotionless mask on his face.
Diana's lips curled into a soft smile as she leaned in even closer, undeterred by his resistance. "Are you sure about that, Bruce?" she countered with a curious tilt of her head, long ebony strands falling over one of her shoulders. "Are you sure it wouldn't bother you in the least that a picture of me in a bikini was in that calendar for the whole world to see?"
Bruce's breath hitched as she dragged a single finger along the edge of his jaw to his mouth, lightly tracing his lips as she gazed deep into his eyes. His voice came out in a strangled, "no."
"A little red string bikini that barely covered me as I stood beneath a beach umbrella, the wind blowing through my hair," she continued to torment him. "I could have sworn a heard someone gasp just before I removed a sarong that had mysteriously shown up at my photo shoot."
"It must have been one of the crew members that the photographer brought with her to the shoot," he decided.
"How did you know the photographer was a woman?"
"Princess, I know everyone who comes onto the Watchtower," he reminded her. "Nothing gets past me. Who do you think vetted them and approved their visit?"
"Oh, I thought maybe you were there hiding in the shadows during my photo shoot," she told him. "When I looked up, I could have sworn I caught a glimpse of a black cape rapidly exiting the room."
Bruce gulped loudly. He'd been caught. It was time to come clean. "So I was there," he nonchalantly admitted, his gaze repeatedly falling to her lips that he was dying to taste. "Someone had to make sure that they didn't try to get into secured sections of the Watchtower."
"That was the only reason you were there?" she asked him. "Was it also for security reasons that all of the calendars are now missing?"
"You know I'm not the only billionaire in the world, Princess," he reminded her, his hands moving to rest on her hips and pulling her even closer. "There are others who might have vested interest in making sure those calendars never saw the light of day."
It was Diana's turn to become flustered with the feel of his large hands on her hips, the warmth of his breath on her lips. "So you know nothing about it then?" she whispered, her irritation washed away by rapidly heating desire.
"Well, I may have one calendar for my own personal enjoyment," he murmured, his lips brushing softly against hers and earning a small whimper from her. "I personally think December was quite hot."
He kissed her again, his hands slipping up to caress her face before his fingers became tangled in her hair. Diana readily complied, parting her lips to allow him more access to her as she settled on his lap. The calendars were quickly forgotten as the kiss continued to grow more passionate, both momentarily wondering who had won in the betting pool on the Watchtower.
Meanwhile in Metropolis…
Lois entered her apartment with a weary sigh. It had been a very long night of following leads that had led her to nothing that she hadn't already known. Flipping the light switch, she dropped her purse on a nearby table before making her way into the bathroom.
Turning on the light, she was stunned to find a picture taped to her bathroom mirror. A furious scream filled the apartment as realization sank in.
"CLARK KENT!"
THE END