Author's Notes: I'm finally back with yet another fic after my very, very, very long hiatus. Enough said though. More notes on the coming chapter.
Warning: Crack. Lots of it. Crossovers might be included in this one. It depends what the people -points at you- want.
Disclaimer: Kingdom Hearts belongs to SQUEENIX and Disney. I don't own anything. If I did, it would be crack-pairing paradise.
Breakfast With Villains
By: Keyblade-Wielding Nerd
Prologue: The Homicidal Breakfast ClubThere was a strange, unnerving silence hanging about in the air.
It was morning, if you considered the time carefully. However, the entire sky outside the large glass windows of the garishly white room was still an unfortunate shade of pitch black. The only light came from the sickly rays of Kingdom Hearts as it hovered above the castle like an expensive security camera. As usual, the thirteen members were seated around the garishly white table on also garish, yet drab and boring high-backed chairs. Breakfast was simple. It consisted of a basket of sliced bread, a plate with a large chunk of butter and the usual cutlery.
Axel did not burn the toast today.
Then the sound of a clattering fork shattered the uncomfortable silence. Xemnas cleared his throat.
"Pass the butter, will you Axel?" Xemnas said. Said redhead grabbed the entire chunk of butter and tossed it at the Superior, the flying chunk of yellow missing the silver-haired man's face by a hair's breadth. Xemnas grabbed the butter and shot the pyro an amber-eyed glare. "Just pass the plate next time." Xemnas muttered.
Then he realised that the entire chunk of butter nestled in his glove had melted into a pool of pale, disgusting yellow goop.
Axel had a maniacal glint in his eye.
The entire group seated at the table had now begun to edge their drab ivory chairs away from the victim, who whistled as if nothing had happened. Instead of breaking into an otherwise expected rage, Xemnas simply removed his gloves and tossed them into a nearby bin. He stood up, causing the entire table to shake and a few butter knives to move out of position.
"My dear Organization members," Xemnas boomed. "I have thought up of yet another wondrous plan. Do you not know what time it is?"
None of the members replied, except...
"I believe it is time for breakfast." Saix droned.
"No," Xemnas continued. "It is the time where all students in other worlds break for..."
The stagnant silence continued on.
"Summer vacation." Xemnas finished.
The other members said nothing. A certain few blinked, and a certain few twitched. All of them knew nothing good was going to be the outcome of this discussion. Or rather, it wasn't much of a discussion but was simply Xemnas' way of wordlessly telling them: 'I have yet another useless plan up my sleeve.' Only Demyx was innocuous enough to ask,
"So, what are you thinking Superior? Are we going to Atlantica like we did last time?"
All eyes turned to Demyx. "What?" The musician squeaked nervously. "It wasn't my fault all of you nearly got eate--"
"Enough." Xemnas said, "What I am planning is that we travel to Twilight Town during this period of time. Our friend Sora would be too busy having his little summer vacation there that he won't notice if we completely blend into the crowd. Then..." Xemnas emphasized this point by raising his hand dramatically towards the ceiling. A sharp tilt of his head back downwards indicated the climax of his speech.
"We kidnap him and force him to assist us on our noble mission." Xemnas said. "And we get some Sun at the same time."
"Wouldn't be easier if we just kill him?" Luxord muttered, shuffling his stack of cards.
"No. We need him to exterminate those wretched heartless for us." The Superior responded. "Therefore, I require all of you to be prepared in approximately two hours' time. Breakfast is over. Dismissed."