Warnings: ZADR, which of course means xenophelia and slash, I assume there's strong language involved, and I assure you, the M rating will be understandable in later chapters.
People have been sweet and making nice comments so I decided to revamp the grammar of this story a bit. Did anyone notice there was a section I just slipped into present tense for two paragraphs before gliding right back into past? Man, I'm awesome.
I don't own any of these characters, yadda yadda yadda.
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Dib strolled out of Skool whistling cheerfully. It Friday afternoon and the students had just been released from their first week back at school. Dib couldn't be more delighted. Admittedly he had been a bit of a late bloomer, but over the summer he had shot up in height, putting him at a good solid 5'10". Zim, however, had remained the same size as always and there was no way Dib was going to let him forget it.
"Oh Ziiiiiiiiiiiim!" he called to the back of the tiny invader's head. He whipped around looking peevish.
"What is it, stink-monkey?" Dib smirked and leaned over a bit to speak down to Zim.
"You know, Zim, I do think you've grown a little..." He trailed off with a smug smile.
"Just because your stupid hyooman growth 'hormonies' have kicked in does not mean that ZIM will not defeat you and you're pitiful planet in the name of the ALMIGHTY TALLEST! Because he will. Ooooooh, he will!"
Dib grinned even wider, causing Zim to take an involuntary step backwards and sneer all the harder. "How tall are your Tallest, Zim?"
Looking quite enraged, Zim spun around and walked away from Dib who couldn't keep himself from laughing out loud. "I'm just wondering, you know?"
Zim stormed into his base cursing Dib and his stupid tallness. Completely ignoring Gir, who was clad in his green puppy suit, Zim ranted and raved for a good half hour; walking back and forth in front of the television. Gir sat on the couch and quite patiently swayed in time apposing Zim's movements, never taking his eyes off the Scary Monkey Show for more than a second. Zim eventually calmed down and flopped himself onto the couch beside the robot.
"I need a plan. There must be a way to reach the Dib-monkey's ridiculous height. It must be due to those disgusting hyooman 'hormonies'." He pondered thoughtfully. Gir continued to stare blankly at the screen.
"There must be a way... yeeeees. YES. That's IT. GIR! We're going OUT." He stood up quite triumphantly. Zim snapped the leash onto Gir's collar and quite literally dragged him out the door. Gir continued to stare blankly at the television screen until he lost sight of it.
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Dib returned home with an extra bounce in his step. He noticed Gaz playing her video games quite intently and proceeded to delight in telling her of his new methods to torment Zim.
"You should have SEEN his face Gaz! It was the best thing ever!" He continued to drone on along that vein as Gaz grew twitchier and twitchier until she finally vowed to throw him off a bridge if he so much as uttered another word in her presences.
"Alright, see you later." Her eyes nearly popped out of their sockets as Dib flounced up the stairs to his bedroom. The video game was apparently too interesting to pause for vengeance however, and Dib cheerfully turned his computer screen on in peace. It displayed the interior of Zim's living room, which stood empty.
Not to be detoured, Dib cranked up the volume so it would alert him when Zim returned and began organizing the stacks of alien sketches and blurred photographs that littered his entire room.
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"FINALLY!! Victory shall be MINE!" the speakers blasted. Dib was startled awake and was able to catch sight of Zim walking off camera, further into his base. Gir looked as though he was dragged to the middle of the floor and left there.
Quite suddenly, the defective SIR unit sprung to life with its eyes glowing red. He saluted off camera in a very professional manner before his eyes faded to turquoise once again. He shouted "I'll help!" and bounded out of the camera's view.
Dib gasped and instinctively reached for his handcuffs. Zim was up to something and he had to put a stop to it. He paused only to throw his trench coat on and zipped out the door.
If he hadn't left quite so quickly he would have heard.
"What does this button dooooooooo?"
"DON'T TOUCH THAT, GIR!"
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That's it for Chapter 1. There are three total and the other two are each about twice as long as this. Again, I just want to say constructive criticism will be appreciated but please be nice, I'm a delicate little flower, or something.