"Just because you promised, doesn't mean you promised on the first try," Ike says. This calms me down as three months ago, Stefanzo died. The celebration was one of life, though a miscarriage. Ike and I now have a tradition to leave Lucy at a friend's while Ike and I put a rose on Stefazno's grave every week. We have to get back to work, I think. This snaps me back to reality.
"Star," I scream, "a bee!"
"A bee" Star screams, she randomly tries to bat the bee away. Bad idea, the entire swarm comes out from under the dock. We instantly flee, not caring how many times our feet hurt today.
"Fudge," I scream. "We are under attack" The whole dock is mayhem, people fled as soon as I scream a bee. That's me attracting attention, I think. I laugh when we have to flee. Star, Lucy and I reach the café in time to hear a bunch of bees slam into the windows. We start laughing like we are really drunk. In which I kind of was. I wonder how Davey is functioning,
"I can't believe it's been three months since he has touched a wine bottle" Star says. It's because of me, I think, because he knows I lost Stefanzo to it.
"Me neither," I say, Star quickly apologies because she knows how sad I get when someone mentions liquor. But, I still like to go to the bar; I just have to be strong, really, really strong. Mike's playing always gets my mind of the liquor for a short time, and he knows this and always plays happy songs when he sees me.
In a few hours, the bees are all gone, but the dock is deserted. It now looks like it was going to storm, good thing we only have six papes left, we sold them to the Café employees. I start crying randomly and only Star knows why.
"I'm sorry," I say, "just thinking about…." I trail off.
"Don't be, it's only been a short time, he will always live in your memories." She says.
"One word: depression" I say.
"Five words: your name is Hype," she replies, "We only gave you that name because you were so happy, and you were hyper.
"Yea, when I was like twelve," I say. It's been over ten years, and it's only been since Stefazno's death I've been depressed.
"We may need to change your name then." She smiles. This only reminds me of the time Sam never called me Hype in Santa Fe, he still doesn't just to tick me off and confuse me. I frown at her remark. Because I've been through so much, I think, Star knows this, she knows everything about me.
"I'm going to talk to Sketch about it; she has been through it too." I say.
"Fine by me, see you tomorrow," Star says.
"Bye," I say, hugging her.
After dinner, Sketch comes and Ike goes to the bar,
"To hear his playing," he says, he has been to the bar very rarely since Stefanzo.
"It's okay Hype, this is natural, and you'll get over it soon and realize this is what love is. You keep telling Ike love isn't everything you want but it is everything you need," Sketch says in a gentle tone. Tonight I actually realized what this meant.
"Thank you," I whisper, she hugs me.
"It is going to be okay, and if you ever need help, you know you can come to me day or night." Sketch says.
"I know," I say as she goes to the door. I quickly go to change Lucy as Sketch leaves.
"I got to go, Davey is watching Evan" she giggles. "Oh well, boys will be boys, no matter what."
I laugh as I feed Lucy one last time before bed. Well, this is it, I think as I lay my head against the wall. This is what I get for falling in love with the world, but I guess some things just never last. My universe is officially crumbling; I don't think I can survive. My friends need to lie to me sometimes, because the truth can really hurt. This makes me feel better. Is this what it takes to separate the raving from the purpose, measured by success and not the motives of our heart? I ask myself. The many questions I think of during the night. I am so creative, I think as I drift to sleep.