Arthur traced his kisses along Merlin's collar bones whilst running one hand through Merlin's hair, the other hand on the small of his back, his fingers softly stroking Merlin's smooth skin. Merlin's eye lids fluttered as Arthur bit down on his collar bone and began to suck at the supple skin causing Merlin to moan out. His hands were on Arthur's naked hips, which he held not only for the joy of touching him but to stop himself falling, as his knees grew weak, the more of him that Arthur's mouth explored.

Arthur moved back as if to admire his handy work, the small red blotch on Merlin's pale skin. He kissed the mark softly, his lips barely touching yet still enough to send shivers up Merlin's spine, making him shudder. Arthur smirked at the effect he had on Merlin but didn't have the time to gloat as Merlin's hands slid down over his hips and around to his ass which he grabbed pulling them closer together, extinguishing any cold, unwanted space between them.

Merlin held Arthur against him yet waited for Arthur's lead. Arthur's breath was unsteady now as he grew uncomfortably hard against Merlin, who mirrored him. Arthur put his own hand between them and began to rub at himself in order to ease his erection. Merlin took hold of Arthur's wrist moving his hand and replacing it with his own. The blue eyes met the others but neither said anything, just stared, unsure yet unhesitant at first, until Arthur closed his eyes, cocking his head backwards as Merlin rubbed him, the pants still between them.

'Mer...' Arthur gulped. 'Merlin, I err,' Arthur muttered breathlessly. 'MERLIN!'

Merlin opened his eyes hazily and found himself in his bedroom. His own bedroom. Alone. And with a hard on.

'Merlin? Merlin, are you awake?' Gaius called from the other room.

'Uh, err, yeah,' Merlin stuttered. He coughed trying to resume his voice to his normal pitch. 'Yeah, I'm up.'

'Good,' Gaius called. 'There's a bowl of water here. For washing.'

'Erm, thanks Gaius,' Merlin shouted and waited until he heard the click of the door before leaving the room to fetch the water. He didn't want to face Gaius as he felt his shame was all over his face. He hadn't had an 'Arthur dream' for a while now and he'd never had one as vivid. He traced his fingers over his collarbones to feel where Arthur had left the mark but he felt nothing. Of course. It was just a dream.

Merlin washed as quickly as he could, unable to face the shame of looking and touching his own body. The body he only wanted to be touched by Arthur, for some reason. Why it was Arthur that all his dreams and fantasies were pinned on he didn't know. Some things, like a lot of things in Merlin's life, he couldn't control. He had always denied his magic, still did to an extent but he could personally accept them. As for his feelings for Arthur, that was still something he could not only accept but he couldn't fully admit to them, not even to himself, so the thought of admitting it to anyone, especially Arthur, was just ridiculous.

Merlin pulled on his usual outfit and tied on his neckerchief after tracing his fingers over his collarbone one more time. He knew there would be no mark but he could still feel where Arthur's mouth, Arthur's very pink, slightly swollen mouth, had sucked at his skin and gently nibbled. Merlin shuddered remembering the dream and then closed his eyes trying to shut the dream flashbacks out but that didn't help at all. In fact it made it worse. Before things got out of hand, Merlin left the physician's quarters.

Heading towards the royal kitchens, Merlin fell into a daydream of how Arthur would greet him. Of course he knew it would never happen but there was no harm in dreaming, right? Besides he couldn't help it. He tried to not think about it but nothing could distract him long enough. He felt like a young damsel, swooning over the beautiful king, hoping to be the one to warm his heart. For one Merlin wasn't a damsel and he knew Arthur's heart belonged to Gwen.

'What you dreaming off?' Gwaine said. 'Something nice?'

'Uh, what? Nothing,' stumbled Merlin, his trance interrupted and his face growing hot as if Gwaine was able to see right through his head and into his dreams.

'You're blushing!' Gwaine announced. 'Why're you blushing, eh?'

'What's up?' Percival said walking over to stand next to Gwaine as Merlin shrunk in his boots wishing he could just disappear on the spot. Actually, he could disappear on the spot but that wouldn't go down to well. He looked up to Percival and Gwaine who just laughed at him. Percival ruffled Merlin's hair before he could duck out of the way and Gwaine laughed again.

'Don't worry, Merlin. It's only healthy you should have a crush. We won't tell anyone.' Gwaine said his face beaming with delight.

'Honest,' added Percival and they both walked away. It took Merlin a moment to gain the strength to move.

This was just what he needed. Gwaine and Percival knowing meant that the whole five kingdoms would know before lunchtime. It looks like there is harm in dreaming, especially when it's all over his face to read. Fortunately, they probably thought it was just another servant and a girl. Still all the more reason to avoid the knights.

'Merlin, I haven't got all day,' Arthur shouted. Arthur stood there topless, hands on hips, waiting for Merlin. Merlin stood a few feet in front of him, holding Arthur's shirt and in a complete daze. 'Merlin! Oh for goodness sake, just give me the shirt.'

Arthur grabbed the shirt out of Merlin's hands, snapping him back to reality.

'What's wrong with you today? You're even worse than usual. And with you, that is really saying something,' Arthur said fumbling with his shirt.

'Yeah, well… at least I can get dressed,' Merlin said, his face frowning at the ridiculousness of his own defence.

'And exactly how long does that take?' Arthur said, his eyebrows raised.

'A lot quicker than you,' retorted Merlin going over to help him.

'Not to worry, Merlin. I have something which will wake you up.' Merlin said nothing, silently putting on Arthur's armour and adjusting straps, carefully, not wanting to touch Arthur in fear it would make him blush. 'Merlin. Mer-lin. Are you even listening?' Merlin looked up, with a lost, other-worldly look on his face. 'Oh, never mind. Come on, some of us have things to do.' Merlin raised an eyebrow. 'Training, Merlin. Don't worry, you can help.' Arthur said shaking his head.

'What? Why would I worry?' Merlin said.

'Well, it might keep you from mucking out my horses. And I know how much you enjoy that,' Arthur smiled.

'But I mucked the horses yesterday!' Merlin protested but gave up by the look on Arthur's face. He already knew how this argument went. They both did. And Merlin never won.

The knights were standing around, Gwaine punching Elyan in the arm and laughing, whilst Percival was talking to Leon. They looked up when they saw Arthur and Merlin approach and turned around, all smiling.

'Joining us, Merlin,' Percival smiled. Merlin only snarled in reply. Merlin hated 'training' or in his case, holding a shield for his dear life, whilst he played the human target.

'Merlin volunteered,' Arthur announced and turned to smile at Merlin.

'Thanks, Merlin.' They all said walking over to pat him on the back whilst he scowled and tried to shove them off.

'Merlin, catch!' Arthur called, throwing a shield at him, which he just about caught. 'Wake up, Merlin. You're going to have to.' Arthur smirked at Merlin who smiled sarcastically.

Really, Merlin had no idea what he saw in him. Of all the people. Like life wasn't difficult as it was. Surely he had enough things to deal with, what with his destiny, Arthur of course and his work, again for Arthur. Why was everything about Arthur? This destiny thing really didn't do it by halves did it? Two halves of the same coin. Merlin shook his head. No wonder he couldn't get it off his mind. Arthur was in every aspect of his life and yet somehow, for some reason, Merlin wanted more.

'You okay, Merlin?' Gwaine asked.

'Of course he isn't,' Percival said laughing.

'There's nothing wrong with him.' Arthur stated. 'Well besides the usual. Isn't that right, Merlin?' Merlin bit his gums and nodded. He had to, otherwise he'd be shouting that everything wasn't right at all, not as long he was torturing him and not in the way he thought he was. 'Good,' Arthur said throwing his sword and catching it and lunging towards Merlin, who just about shielded himself.

Once Arthur was done the others had a go and back to Arthur, who worked Merlin hard. He lunged at him again catching Merlin of guard and knocking him to the ground. Arthur smiled but put down his weapon to help Merlin up. Merlin's insides turned over but he wasn't going to let his feelings get the better of him. He frowned and looked away.

'Oh stop sulking, Merlin' he sighed. 'If it makes you feel better, you can go. And muck my horses out.' Arthur smirked, impressed with himself. Merlin only nodded and began to walk away before Arthur grabbed his arm and turned him back around to face him. 'What's the matter, Merlin?' Arthur said, softly, almost whispering.

Merlin looked to the knights who raised their eyebrows at each other and turned away. Merlin looked back to Arthur who stood waiting for a reply. Merlin didn't know what to say. The truth was out of the question, of course. Merlin usually took things like Arthur being horrible to him in his stride but today everything stuck to him and he wasn't sure why. Sure he had feelings for Arthur but he always had, not that he always admitted it, so that wasn't it. Was it because that dream was more vivid, more real, than any of the others? He didn't know but the memory of the dream made him shudder slightly. He felt a fuzz in his nose, the fuzz he felt before tears emerged. Arthur being nice to him was making him cry. It wasn't that rare of an occasion.

'Merlin?' Arthur asked, his face now tinged with concern.

'Nothing,' Merlin said, his voice catching in his throat. He coughed and spoke again. 'I think I'm getting a cold,' he lied.

'Right,' Arthur said elongating the word. 'So could you muck out the horses before you fall ill?'

'I'll get right to it,' Merlin said and turned to walk away again.

'Merlin, I was only joking,' Arthur said running after him. 'Go and take the day off. Get plenty of rest. I can't be going long without my servant now, can I? As bad as you are of course.'

'I'm okay,' Merlin said. 'Besides the horses need mucking out.'

'Forget that. Now do as your told and go home,' Arthur said again waiting for a reply even though he gave a demand.

Merlin couldn't speak at the moment. For one, he didn't know what to say, he was always struck dumb when Arthur was nice to him. And two, he could feel the tears prickling at his eyes, threatening to fall. So he just nodded and strained a smile.

'Good.' Arthur said. 'I'll see you tomorrow. Bright and early.' Arthur smiled patting him on his back. Merlin walked over to the shield rack and set his down before rushing home, hoping to beat the tears.

Merlin walked into the physician's quarters, his eyesight blurry now, like that of a frosted window, but still he tried to hold the tears back. He could see the blur of his bedroom door, nearly there, until he could let his sorrow fall. He just wanted to let it all out.

'Merlin? How come you're back?' Gaius asked looking up from his work.

Merlin froze in his steps, the shock causing the tears to fall onto his cheeks. He wiped at them furiously, trying to hide their signs, not wanting to talk about it. He turned around to face Gaius hoping he wouldn't notice anything but from his expression he knew he already could.

'I'm not feeling well. Arthur sent me home. I'm gonna go to bed.' Merlin babbled and then rushed to his room, so quickly that he banged his hip into the table as he tried to escape, not just from Gaius but from reality. The sting was harsh but he carried on like a wounded soldier, holding his hip and only hissing slightly. When he got into his room he shut the door behind him and his knees let out. He sank to the floor slowly, sliding against the hard wooden door, until he reached the cold floor. He hugged his knees and put his chin on them bringing them closer.

He was ready to let it all out but now he was at refuge they wouldn't come. It seemed he'd held them back for too long, and like his feelings for Arthur, were bottled up. It was only a matter of time before they all burst out at once and he would rather that be now whilst he was alone. He wanted to cry, to let go. He wanted to be weak for once, he lied to everyone else, and he shouldn't have to lie to himself. He tried to force the tears but they still wouldn't come so he gave up, getting to his feet and falling into his bed. Not as soft as the pillows from his dreams but it was better than the floor.

He felt his eyes flutter, as sleep was about to take him. He tried to fight the heaviness of his eyes, with sleep came dreams and he shouldn't think about that. That wouldn't help at all. Merlin couldn't fight the sleep, he didn't really want too. He wanted Arthur to hold him and to soothe him and if that could only happen in his dreams then so be it.