A little thing I wrote while waiting for an inordinately large file copy, this will make more sense to people who've read the book (I'm currently reading it in Spanish) but I hope it'll work for those who've not read it too.
The Pirate's End
This hadn't been part of the plan at all. They attacked the ship, killed the crew if they resisted, and then left. There weren't supposed to be women on board, not on a merchant ship, that's why they only attacked merchant ships. The voice that had called out to go away from the other side of the cabin door, though, had been a woman's. It had been a while since any of them had seen a woman.
The Captain noticed the men lurking around the door and strode over to investigate. The men all tried to hide behind one another, which left all of them hiding behind Fezzik, who was both the biggest and the slowest. He was also the Captain's friend. He was everyone's friend, or tried to be, but the Captain seemed to have something of a soft spot for him, even if he was, frankly, a lousy pirate.
"So who tell me what you do here?" the Captain snapped as he reached them.
"There's a lady, Captain," Fezzik told him. "In the cabin. We heard her."
"Or some fool talk all high," he said, scowling. "You in there," he called. "You come out here."
"Are you the Captain?" came the answer. He raised an eyebrow. They were right, it did sound like a woman.
"I am. You wan' make a bargain?"
"I do."
"Ver' well," he said, trying to sound reasonable, "You open the door and let me in, we talk."
"I have your word I shall not be harmed?"
"I will no let my men touch you." he assured her. She unlocked the door, and he went inside. A few moments later, he came out with a noblewoman struggling in his grasp, the cloth sash he wore around his waist now tied around her eyes. She swore at him in Italian, and he pulled her hair so her ear was close to his mouth.
"I said I wou' no let my men touch you," he hissed, "An' that was the truth. I did no say what I wou' do. I tak' you to my cabin," he said, and with a smirk to the men added, "We, uh, talk, there."
She spat at him and he shoved her roughly towards his own ship, leaving the men to finish searching for anything of value.
I am the Countess Giulietta Cardinale, the richest woman in all of Italy, and also its biggest fool. I knew this was foolish when I set out, but now I am beginning to realise quite how much of a fool I have been. The less charitable of my acquaintances would say that I always have been a fool. Eighteen years ago, now, I fell in love with a peasant. I promised I would wait for him to return, for his quest to be over. I heard about him, occasionally – this person had seen him in France, that one had heard a tale of him from an African trader, and then I heard about the death.
He had been gone maybe three years when I met the man he was searching for. Had he just stayed with me as I had wanted, it would all have been over then, but no. I would have tried to send word to him, but I never knew where he might be, and there was always the danger that Count Rugen himself would get to hear about it instead.
It wasn't so much that I feared for myself – my father was too powerful a man for even such a ruthless man as Rugen to threaten me – but for my Inigo. If he knew Inigo was coming, if he knew that Inigo knew where he was... and then there were the tales I didn't want to believe. The ones that told me yes, they had encountered a peasant with a beautiful sword, a master of swordplay – spending the money he made from his skill on cheap drink, and spending his nights passed out in the gutter.
But then I heard that Count Rugen was dead, murdered by the Dread Pirate Roberts as he stole the Princess Buttercup from Humpedinck. What a farce that whole business was! I don't think there was a noble in the world who would believe Humpedinck capable of falling in love with a peasant girl, no matter how beautiful. What use she could be to him was a mystery at first, but as bait for the great pirate, well. That made sense, Humpedinck did like a challenge, and he had been after Roberts for a while.
After it was all over, his father had him thrown in the dungeons and started talks with Guilder for one of their Princes to marry Rugen's daughter and unite the countries. I pity the man who ends up with heras his wife, from what I hear she's every bit as devious as her father. Poor old Lotharon is too trusting by half.
Still, the last report I heard of Inigo was that he was in Guilder, heading for Florin with some idiot Sicilian and a giant. Three ships had left Guilder for Florin in the following few weeks, and each of them had been attacked by Roberts. If Inigo had been on one of those ships... well, I had to know for myself what had happened to him. He might have made the trip on a smaller boat.
So, fool that I am, I bribed the Captain of a merchant ship bound for Florin to take me with him, and hoped that if we sighted Roberts we could approach under flag of truce and I could ask for news. It made sense at the time. Of course, I should have realised that Roberts would attack, that I would be taken prisoner. He has me in his cabin, now, and I have no illusions of what he has planned for me. I shall have to hope that my age – I am well into my thirties now – or offers of money will dissuade him. They are vain hopes, but one must hope. I am good at vain hope.
The Captain shoved Giulietta down onto a seat in the window then sat himself, plonking his feet onto the table.
"You intrigue me, my lady," he said in flawless Italian, "I wonder what business so apparently wealthy a woman can have had on so insignificant a ship." Even though he was sure she could not see, she turned her head towards him when he spoke. It reminded him of nothing so much as a hooded bird of prey.
"It... it was the death of Count Rugen," she answered, slowly.
"Oh, a friend of yours, was he?"
"Far from it. A man I knew wanted him dead. I heard that it was you that killed Rugen. I merely wanted to know if you had encountered the man I speak of."
"Tell me about him."
"He... was a Spaniard, a peasant... he had scars upon his cheeks..."
The Captain laughed. "The drunk, with the pretty sword? Said something about his father? Now, what was his name..."
"Inigo Montoya," she replied flatly. The Captain snapped his fingers.
"That was it. How such a pathetic specimen expected to be able to fight a master like Rugen I don't know. He was right, though, the dog deserved to die. This sword of his really is a masterpiece... or it would be if the weighting of it were not off. Even so, it is a pleasure to use it."
Giulietta turned her head away, and held her breath. She was too much a lady to allow herself to cry. If this man had Inigo's sword, then Inigo was dead. That was the only possible explanation.
"I suppose you want to know how he died? I could tell you that he died well, that he did not beg or plead or cry, but fought bravely to the end... and that he called for you as he died... but it would be a lie."
The Countess did not move. "He told a good story, about how he would go up to Rugen and tell him his name and why he had come, and then cut out his heart... Would you believe that he had been hired by a man working for Prince Humpedinck to... no matter. That is how I encountered him. We met atop the cliffs of insanity. It was a satisfying fight. We both began left-handed, both convinced we were that much the better than the other that we need not use our right... He gained the upper hand at first, so I switched hands, and began to gain ground, and then he switched... but still I was the better. Perhaps had he not drunk himself into a stupor so often he might have bested me."
He stood, and walked towards the Countess. "But lose he did, and he asked me to finish him quickly... and here you are, my prize." He caressed her cheek and she flinched away. "Oh, come now, my lady," he said smoothly, "Had we met under different circumstances I have no doubt that I could charm you..."
"You have no chance of winning my heart," she spat, "Do not insult me with the attempt."
He chuckled. "No chance... I have heard that before. Within the week she was in my arms."
"I assure you I shall not be."
"You assume you have the choice?"
"I..." she blushed. She actually blushed. "I am very rich. Spare me, return me to land, and I will see that you are well rewarded."
"I don't want your money," he assured her, "What I want from you is more valuable. And you will give it to me of your own free will, I just need to say the right thing to you."
"I will never be yours," she assured him, shifting as far along the seat away from him as she could. "I promised Inigo I would wait for him and I did. For nearly twenty years I have turned away suitor after suitor, I see no reason to change that now."
"Really?" he asked, untying the sash that still covered her eyes, "Not even if I told you I could not marry you?"
He wasn't expecting the slap. It was remarkably accurate, considering that she wouldn't have been able to see properly, with the sun suddenly in her eyes.
"Howdare you use his words to me?" she spat, the pirate coming slowly into focus, simply standing there, his hand to his stinging cheek.
"I suppose I deserved that," he admitted, "But I admit I had hoped for a rather better reception from you, Giulietta... I... I simply wanted to be sure that you... that..." he sat beside her, his head in his hands.
"I suppose I truly do have no chance with you, having kept you waiting for so long. You have every reason to hate me."
She stared, then lifted a little of the long dark hair away from the side of his face. There was a scar, running down from his forehead, disappearing under his hand. It was Inigo.
"So... I... perhaps you might start your explanation of quite what has been going on again?" she ventured.
Without moving, he explained how he had taken over from Westley and which parts of his tale had been from his own point of view and which from Westley's.
"The part about my drinking was true," he said, finally, "I had given up hope... and when I drank, I did not dream, and I felt so alone, I wanted to drink all the more... I suppose I felt that if I were not dreaming of you, then you had forgotten me..."
Giulietta found herself draping an arm around Inigo. "I don't hate you," she said, "I am perhaps a little peeved at being kept waiting so long, but... can we be together now?"
Inigo looked up. Oh, he looked just the same. Well, perhaps not quite the same, there was a little grey in the hair at his temples, and a few lines around his eyes, but the eyes themselves, they were just the same, and his scars, and the line of his mouth, and it was such a lovely mouth, and she had so enjoyed kiss... yes, kissing him just like that. She'd not been aware of moving, but she must have, because suddenly her hands were against his cheeks and her lips were on his and she was leaning forward to kiss him.
She pulled back with an embarrassed smile, and found Inigo's face answering it with a particularly soppy grin. Suddenly his face fell.
"I have to choose a replacement," he said, "That could take months."
"Do you have to?" she suggested reasonably. "Isn't it perhaps time that Roberts retired? After all he does have his Buttercup now... Perhaps it's time for some other pirate to get to be legendary?"
A week later, the Revenge made port under Dutch colours, and Roberts dragged the Countess ashore, saying that having a woman on board was bad luck and she wasn't worth the trouble. When he didn't return that night, Fezzik and few of the other men went looking for him. The other men returned, but Fezzik did not.
After three more days, a young lad pointed out to the harbour master that none of the sailors spoke Dutch, and in the dead of night they were all arrested. A few admitted who they were, hoping that co-operation would give them a chance to escape. Officers began to search the port for the missing pirate Captain, but by then Inigo, Giulietta and Fezzik were already well on their way to Italy. The Dread Pirate Roberts' reign over the seas was finally over and the last of the happy endings was ready to begin.