AN:
Okay, so Lis asked me to join the NN writers in another one of these Tributes she thinks up. And, of course, I said yes. And Lis and I were working on our joint fic which was coming along nicely. But then, I decided to do one of my own. Since Lis was doing one of her own, I figured why not? When she suggested this song, I thought she was nuts! Besides, she doesn't even listen to country music! But, again, I figured why not? Did I know I was going to hit a wall? A brick wall lined with cement and about four feet thick? Nope, I didn't. Not by a long shot. Lis, says to me, "hey, Kel, you hit a wall." Really? Ya think? Lucky for me she had an idea to help me out but I wasn't really there, so she took a crack at it and now we have two joint fics! I think you'll enjoy this and if you don't then it's her fault! Enjoy!
~Kelly~
Welcome to the family
Hope you have a real good life
"You look nervous," Jason pointed out, needlessly, as he reached for his fiancée's hand. Ever since they stepped off the plane in the part of the country still considered the heart of Dixie, she'd been jumpy. Of course, since Elizabeth was usually a ball of energy he wasn't too worried. Sure he was meeting her family for the first time, but how bad could they be?
"You know it'll be fine," he reassured her for the thousandth time. They'd been dating just over two years when he proposed. His family was thrilled with the idea especially his sister, Emily. The two girls had been best friends since college, which is why her continued nervousness confused him.
Elizabeth had seen the Quartermaines at their very worst. Hell, she's even suffered through pizza on Thanksgiving with them. While he loved his family they were bossy, loud, and loved nothing more than arguing. Jason sometimes wondered if he could runaway and never look back. He sincerely doubted her family could be any worse.
She snorted at his comment and continued to stare out the window. "You poor, delusional soul," Elizabeth muttered several minutes later.
"Elizabeth," he said taking a quick glance at the passenger seat. Elizabeth was worrying her bottom lip. Something she did only when worried. "I know you're worried, but relax."
"That's easy for you to say," she gently snapped back, "YOU've never met them!"
"No," he chuckled softly, "but I love you. That's all I care about."
"And haven't you ever wondered why that is," Elizabeth continued as if he hadn't spoken. "I mean we've been together for two years!"
"Sometimes," Jason shrugged at the question, "but, you know, getting away isn't exactly easy for either of us."
"You have no idea, Jason, really, you don't," she let out an exasperated sigh. "Look, I love my family but," she turned in her seat to face him, "you don't have people in your family that disappear at all hours of the night, or people coming who think nothing of carrying guns all over the place and who live out in the middle of nowhere and never have contact with the real world!"
"Elizabeth, you're not going to scare me off. I want to meet your family," he said finally starting to figure out what her behavior was about.
"Just remember you said that," she pushed back in the seat and crossed her arms, "just remember."
Grandpa's the local sheriff, yeah, He's the judge and the jury, too
Uncle Bill's the undertaker, Son, he'll dig a hole for you
Cousin Jesse, he's just crazy, He'll fight you just for fun
Momma's got a real bad temper, Daddy's got a shotgun
The rest of the trip was quiet except for Elizabeth giving him directions. At least until they turned down a dirt road. "That's my Uncle Bill's house," she said as Jason slowed the SUV down.
He did a quick double take at the sign before speaking. "The funeral home?"
"Yep," she nodded as she looked at the long low brick-sided house with long windows flanked by black shutters and boasting a wide veranda leading to the leaded-glass double entry doors, "where else would an undertaker live?"
"Undertaker? Really?"
"Well, yeah," she sat back in her seat, "it's more of a family business, although my cousins, Jesse and Bucky, would rather fight than work," she sighed. "They thinks it's fun or something."
"Good to know," he said taking a moment to process the new information. "Okay, on your side, so far, we've got an undertaker and two guys who like to fight." He rocked his head from side-to-side, "Not too bad. On my side we've got Grandfather, AJ and Tracy. I think the Q's are still ahead in the crazy department."
Elizabeth snorted, "There's more."
Jason stole a glance at her and could see her getting increasingly tense. He reached out and grabbed her hand. She twined her fingers into his. After traveling nearly half a mile he asked, "Are you sure this is the right road? I mean, it's been a while since you were here, right?"
"Of course, I'm sure." Elizabeth said tugging playfully on his hand. "There are only three other houses on this road. Granddad's is at the end. We've been on his land since we turned off the highway."
"Impressive," Jason mused as he drove over the bumpy road, "And that's where the reunion is, right?"
"Yeah," she nodded before pointing to a house barely visible around the curve. "My sister, Sarah, and her boy, Ethan, live in that house with my parents."
Jason slowed down anxious to see where his fiancée had grown up. The yard was filled with toys including a swing and tree house. "Looks like a fun place to grow up."
"Loads," she looked out the window, "if you like being in the middle of nowhere," she huffed, "alone all the time with weird people around all the time. You know," she swept a curl behind her ear, "I've got these two aunts, you know what they do all day?" She didn't wait for him to answer, "They drink spiked iced tea and knit blankets! All Day! I'm not sure what my uncles do, they're hardly ever around and when they come all they do is hunt. It's so gross!"
Jason tried not to smile at her vent. He could hear how annoyed she sounded. "Elizabeth," he smiled as he looked over at his distraught fiancée, "every family has odd balls. It's going to be fine. I promise. I'll still love you."
"You better, mister," she righted herself in her seat. "Oh, there it is," she pointed toward the left.
Jason slowed down as they passed a seemingly empty house. "This is the house," he asked pulling into the drive way. He'd been surprised when she told him that her grandparents had given it to her or, rather, them the house. They'd been thinking about moving out of Port Charles.
"It's the house they left me, yeah," Elizabeth told him getting out of the SUV. He immediately followed her. "But don't even think about living here."
Jason took a long look at the farm style house. It was a two story cream-colored clapboard sided house with a wraparound porch and long windows. It had a huge front yard. It was nothing like their small condo in Port Charles. This house was meant for raising a family.
Hope you have lots of babies
Hope you get a real good job
Hope you don't mind comp'ny
Cause we'll be here a lot
Jason looked back at her, "I like it," he reassured her.
"Oh, it's a great house!" Elizabeth bit her lower lip, "But I'll never live in it and you won't want to either when you meet the family. Trust me!"
"Oh, I trust you. And I can certainly wait until I meet this family you're so sure I'm going to hate," Jason promised even though he'd made up his mind. "But why don't you want to live in it?"
Elizabeth's brows nearly shot off her head, "Oh-ho," she nearly choked on her own laughter, "you have no idea, you really don't. These people? They have a very special definition of 'family'!" She shook her head at him, "They will barge in on us any time of the day or night. You think a closed or locked door will keep them out? No fuckin' way! They WANT to be in your business, well, actually you don't have business. What's yours is theirs," she let out a snort, "it's, it's, oh, my God, you can't even imagine!"
Jason couldn't help laughing, but he swallowed it the best he could.
"Oh, no! No! No you don't, Mister!" She batted his chest, "YOU will not laugh at me! I know these people! Why do you think I moved over a thousand miles away?"
"Okay," he pulled her toward him, "okay, shh," he soothed as he cupped the back of her head, "I'm sorry I laughed. We don't have to move here if you don't want to. Let's just get this over with and get back home and we'll take it from there." He pulled back and looked into her deep blue eyes, "Okay?"
Elizabeth took a deep breath, "Yeah."
He kissed her on her hairline, "Okay." He dropped a small kiss to the tip of her nose, "It will be fine."
She looked up at him, "You promise?"
He gave her his usual single nod, "I promise," he smiled.
Elizabeth let out a long breath, "Good."
"We're going to be late," he said a moment later as he leaned his forehead against hers. "We've got to go." He backed away and opened the door to the SUV. Elizabeth took another look at the house. "It is pretty."
"It is," he agreed, "come on."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm coming," she mumbled climbing back in. Looking up she caught the wolfish look on Jason's face. "Don't even say it."
"I wasn't," he denied starting the engine back up, "I don't have my mind in the gutter."
"Uh-huh, riiiight," she drawled. "You're horrible, you know that?"
He had to laugh at the accusation. "Oh, I know. But, you love me," Jason teased in return.
"I really do," she said giving him a quick kiss. Buckling up she let out a sigh, "Alrighty! Let's go meet my nutty family."
The road wound another mile or so surrounded on both sides by fields. Jason found himself drawn to the isolated feeling. In Port Charles he had to drive out of town to get this same feeling. Although, having Elizabeth on the bike with him made it worth the trip.
My nephew is a hunter, He's gonna hunt you down
Just like he did the last one, And he still ain't been found
"Turn here," Elizabeth said pointing to an even worse road marked by an orange mail box. "Don't ask."
"Ooookaaay," he chuckled, "but there's a story there, right," he asked knowing there had to be. Elizabeth was too annoyed for the odd paint job to be nothing.
"Oh, yeah," she said with annoyance in every breath, "my nephew painted it last November. Apparently my granddad found it hilarious."
"And you don't?"
"It's orange, Jason! BLAZE orange! NEON orange!"
Seeing the slightly confused look on his face Elizabeth clarified, "You know the color hunters wear to keep from getting shot."
"Okay, yeah, I know so…"
"Well, Billy didn't want the mail box getting hurt!"
He smiled at the innocent explanation. "That's kinda cute."
"Oh, please," Elizabeth scolded rolling her eyes, "PLEASE, do NOT encourage the boy, Jason!"
"I'll try not to," he answered, trying, unsuccessfully, not to laugh.
"Stupid men," she mumbled as the house came into view.
You could tell the house had been standing for a number of years. It had a warm welcoming feeling to it. It was nothing like the Quartermaine mansion. Getting out of the SUV Jason could hear laughter and the shouts of children as he helped Elizabeth out. While the front yard was set up with several tables there was almost no one in sight.
Welcome to the family, Hope you have a real good life Brother, here's some brotherly advice
With my little sister, Yeah, she'll make a real good wife
If you know what's good for you…
Walking around to the side of the house they spied a man slightly older than him sitting on the porch. The man looked the epitome of the gentleman farmer, right down to the cowboy boots and the woven cowboy hat. The only thing missing was a piece of straw stuck in the corner of his mouth. Jason felt a little overdressed in his navy blue blazer and pinpoint button down.
"Well, look who finally showed up," he said setting the book he'd been reading aside and standing to hug Elizabeth.
"Don't be obnoxious, Steven," she said pushing on her brother's shoulder. She turned toward Jason, "Steven... this is Jason Morgan, my fiancé, Jason," she turned to him, "this is my brother, Steven Webber."
"It's nice to finally meet you," Jason said holding out his hand which was ignored.
"We'll see," Steven said coldly, giving Jason the once over.
After a moment Jason dropped his hand and sucked in a small breath. Okay. That was unpleasant.
"Take a hike, Peanut," Steven ordered without taking his eyes off Jason.
"Steven..." Elizabeth started, but looking from man to man, realized protesting would do no good.
"Fine! I'm going," she gave Jason a knowing look of sympathy, but was quickly taken aback by the steely look in his eyes.
He gave her a single nod and watched her back away before she turned to go around to the back of the house.
He returned his stone cold gaze to her brother, "That wasn't nice."
"Elizabeth ever tell you I was a nice guy?"
"No," Jason frowned as he shook his head, "she didn't." He took a step toward the slightly older man, "I don't appreciate you speaking to her in that way."
"Well, now, is that so?" He looked the city slicker up and down, again, "So you're the guy who thinks he's gonna marry my baby sister."
Jason relaxed his stance as he ambled another step closer, "No, Steven, I'm the man that is GOING to marry Elizabeth, who just happens to be YOUR baby sister.
"Maybe." He pulled his hat up a fraction surprised at the man's confidence, "She brought you here so that's something. How much has Elizabeth told you about our family?"
"Not much. " Jason stuck his hand in his trouser pocket, "Just that you're all crazy."
Steven nodded, "Crazy's a good word." He looked off in the direction his baby sister took, "Elizabeth's the youngest of us kids. I was twelve and Sarah ten when she was born. Needless to say, my parents were surprised. That makes us sorta protective, her being the baby, and all."
"I get it, Steven. I have a little sister, too."
"Emily. Elizabeth's told me about her. She's told me about your family." Steven took another step closer, "You're a real blue-blood, isn't that right?"
Jason frowned and shrugged, "And that's a problem for you?"
Stephen sized up his little sister's guy, "Here's the thing... this family, Lizzie's family, is what you might call bat-shit crazy."
Jason rubbed his brow, "And you think you have a lock on crazy? You don't have to live in a farmhouse to do crazy. My family's got plenty."
"Silver spoon crazy."
"Hell," Jason snorted, "crazy is crazy. Every family has some."
"Yeah, well," Steven grimaced, "I'm sure your Granddad is nothing like ours. First he was a doctor then he became the sheriff. To be honest, I have no idea why. Course things being what they are with him practically owning this small town, he's pretty much the law around here, too. Now, our Mom... well let's just say Lizzie has her temper, you'll need to watch that."
Jason shrugged. "I kinda like it when Lizzie comes out to play."
Steven snorted and shook his head, "And Daddy, he's what you'd call mild mannered until he gets his dander up, but he'd just as soon shoot you than talk to ya. And then there's Billy. He lives to shoot something, anything."
Jason chuckled, "Isn't he ten?"
"Well, at least you don't seem or sound like the last guy she brought home," he said with disgust, "and he ran off later that night."
"Lucky's a little shit punk."
Steven looked like he'd gotten hit by a truck, "Something we can agree on."
Jason rocked his head from side to side, "Unless you're trying to run me off, too."
"Naw," Steven poked his hat up another notch, "not at all."
"Good," Jason eyed his fiancée's brother, "because I was starting to think you didn't like me."
"I like you just fine, Jason. That is, as long as you don't hurt my sister," he looked the man over as he took a step closer, "Think of all this as a little brotherly advice," he finished with a nod and wink.
Jason's brows shot up, "I don't scare easy."
"Oh, I know," Steven nodded, "DOCTOR Morgan. We work for similar organizations, 'families' if you get my meaning." He gave a nod, "I know all about you."
"You think so?" Jason looked at him coolly, "Your sister is safe with me. Always has been."
"Don't worry," he winked again, "I'm not gonna tell, Lizzie about your side work. Besides, Mr. Zacchara's been keeping an eye on her for me."
Jason cocked his head to the side, "So you're the one who buries Z's guys that I can't save, huh? You've been a little light then, work wise, right?"
It was Steven's turn to be surprised, "You could say that."
Jason leaned in to the man, "I take it you work for the Maronetti's?"
Webber unsuccessfully hid his surprise and nodded.
"How long've you known Anthony?"
"I know Johnny," Steven took a step back, "Granddad knows Anthony."
Jason scratched at his brow, "So, let me see if I get this. Elizabeth has no idea that you, your family bury the bodies for Anthony and John Zacchara as well as the Marronetti's? Do you just work for 'organizations' or are you an equal opportunity burial service?"
Steven nearly choked, "We're, I guess," he paused, "If you're dead, we'll bury you. We don't much care how you got dead."
"Good to know," Jason finally gave the man a smile, "very good to know."
"This does not make us friends," Steven said as he looked the doctor over, "but I gotta tell ya, you're a pretty cool customer."
"I'm a mob doctor, Steven," Jason answered, "I live on the East coast in mob central, what did you expect?"
"Lizzie know?"
"She does."
Steven snatched his hat from his head and slapped his leg with it, "Shit!" He clapped his hat back on, "She does?"
"She does." Jason nodded, "I don't lie to her."
The cowboy funeral director settled his hat more firmly on his head, "What do you shoot?"
"A Glock 30."
Steven smiled, "Well, I'll be damned." He held out his hand, "Welcome to the Family."
I like you just fine,
Don't get me wrong
You'll take care of her
Cause if you don't...