Lorna hopelessly turned her head around, trying desperately hard to spot Nicky's face. Her heart thumped in the chest, her breathing shallowed. To her surprise she didn't care if she was separated from Red, or Piper or Alex or anyone but Nicky. Her pulse soared to what felt like 1000 beats a minute, as her leg bounced tediously on the floor. The bus is almost full of nervous and hot bodies now. A dark bus full of blank faces, and terrified faces and tired faces and broken faces. Lorna's leg bounces so furiously up and down she shakes the creaky metal floor of the bus in front of her and behind her. All hope is drained from her body. Her terror is not slightly appeased by the flashing red and blue lights, and the bursts of light and mechanic clicking from cameras surrounding the building. She ran a hand over her stomach.
From the window Lorna watched as the other bus door drew closed like a drawbridge. At the last second a figure stumbles in, tripping from the force of a guard pushing her forward. Her arm has a prominent gash on it and she's still in her black dress and blue converse. Yet somehow even though she looks worn down and absolutely terrified she looks beautiful. Her eyes glisten with fear, and with passion.
Nicky's eyes scoured the bus searching for something, looking for anything to hold onto. In that first second that their eyes met, Lorna's entire body went lax, and several tears trickled down her face. Instantly Lorna felt her body relax. Nicky sat herself down right next to Lorna and grabbed her hand, sinking down into the seat behind her in the dark.
/\/\/\/\
Nicky could feel the knots in her stomach. The bus was winding and swiftly turning around corners of a desolate road, but her obvious discomfort was mostly attributed to the fact that she was being taken to a mysterious location. The bus was currently driving through a forestry area. Perhaps a nature preserve, or a hiking trail or maybe just a fucking forest devoid of all human activity. Finally peaceful. Wholly serene. Outside the windows of the vehicle the trees cast shadows that passed over Lorna's face as she moved by them.
No one knew how long they had been driving but Nicky could tell it was going to be hours before they were somewhere. Anywhere other than 's been at least three hours. Lorna is sleeping on Nicky's lap, an exhausted and utterly anxious expression burned into her face even at rest, as she burrows her face into Nicky's legs. Nicky is thankful she can see her features. There are no lights, but she can see moonlight dusting her cheeks. Her face is angelic. It's beautiful and perfect in many ways and so is everything else about the woman lying down on her, placing trust in her. She begins to awaken and sits up and looking up at Nicky with hollow eyes.
" Hey Nichols what's wrong?"
" Aside from us all being completely fucked?" She grunts hoarsely.
At Lorna's expression of anxiety, Nicky retracted the scorn from her voice, now speaking gently.
"Alright kid, c'mon it's gonna be alright," she lied. " Things always work out yeah?"
Lorna, in her height of fear tentatively places a kiss on her cheek, dangerously close to her mouth. And whimpers, before being cut off by Nicky.
"Alright, no." Nicky says, gently pushing Lorna's arm off of her. " I can't keep going over this, Lorna you have a husband who loves you apparently and you also for some reason love him. You have everything you need to move on from whatever we had alright? You can serve the rest of your time, survive wherever the hell this bus is taking you and then go home to your husband and baby. You have a family. God why do you keep doing this?"
Nicky brushes her bangs slightly out of her eyes and leans her head against the seat of the bus sighing. She places her hand against the clod and foggy bus window.
Lorna frowns. Her husband. Why did it seem more and more that her husband was an obstacle to her happiness rather than a generator? Why did she keep doing this with Nicky? The truth is when she thought about it... Really thought about it, not logically because love doesn't think with the brain, she couldn't imagine a life without Nicky. She didn't know what she imagined. Honestly, a future with Nicky formed thousands of pictures in her mind. Endless possibilities. And this baby. This baby needs it's father. Doesn't it?
But of course Nicky, despite knowing she would protest, would be a wonderful parent. She would be an amazing mother. She was very loving. Maybe she would even be better than Vinnie. Lorna had never been good with self control, especially around Nicky.
So of course she can't help herself and finds herself looking up at Nicky's face. Her face is also moonlit and despite being mostly devoid of fear, pain leaks out of her eyes. Lorna can practically feel her heart bleeding under the pressure of Nicky's heavy gaze.
She turns her head up to look into the other girl's eyes and finally speaks after an electric silence.
" I don't know what to do Nick." When she allows herself to be honest, the reason she didn't go back to Nicky when she was released from max was that she's afraid of feeling even more crazy for marrying someone she just met and not even loving him. So she told herself she was in love with this man. This man who doesn't have wild hair, and soft skin, and kind eyes. Who doesn't hold her close day and night when she cries, make her feel like she's on cloud nine, or excite her heart. This man who's easy to be with. This man who isn't the girl she is in love with. This man who isn't Nicky.
" I made a mistake," Lorna starts slowly crying and then fully sobbing into Nicky's shoulder so hard that it comes out silent. After a few long seconds she feels warm arms pull her close to safety, holding her tightly to Nicky's chest. Lorna can feel Nicky's heart beating quickly, making a loud thumping noise in her ear. She lifts her head from Nicky's torso quivering. " I don't love him, I tried so hard but Nick he wasn't.. you," she hiccups, heavy tears streaming down her face and pooling on her chin. " I'm just crazy Lorna Loco, obsessed with love and romance and I did another crazy thing on impulse because I'm insane. And just because I was missing someone who was only down the fucking street from me." She clutches onto Nicky's shoulders and looks into her eyes, " but I thought you were gone and I couldn't.." she trails off into tears again. She grabs Nicky's hand and held it to her heart.
" I love you too Nicky." She hiccups. " I just made a mess, I want y- you so bad Nick I...I don't know what I'm gonna do about Vinny. " she clutches her hands to her chest and buried her face in her knees.
Nicky feels a lone tear drop drop down her face. Lorna loves her. The woman she wants most in the world, who just about has full control of her, just told her that she loves her too and her heart is about to pop like an over inflated balloon.
Nicky whispers in a feather light and calm voice, " It's gonna be okay baby." That is the last thing Lorna hears before she is pulled into Nicky's embrace.
/\/|/\/\||
Lorna takes the time before she goes to sleep the next night as she's lying in her hard bunk, to thank god that she ended up in the same building and the same bunk as Nicky. It's truly a fucking miracle but Lorna doesn't complain. It's too hard to process what has happened over the past few days. Inmate Washington dying, an the emotional moment for the entire prison and everything that followed made Lorna feel revolutionary. Revolutionary and absolutely terrified. So she takes the time to just be grateful that she's here with Nicky.
After failed a attempt to fall asleep, Lorna creeped across the floor to the other bed on the other side of the cell, where Nicky is laying with her back to her. Lorna slowly crawls into the warmth of Nicky's bed shuddering and snuggling into the pillow. Nicky, turned around and pulled Lorna as close to her chest as she possibly could manage. Lorna clutched Nicky close to her reveling in the feeling of the other girls arms around her. How right it felt to be with her. She pulled away only for a second to look into Nicky's eyes. As their eyes met, tears started to leak from Nicky's eyes, quickly warranting tears from the brunette. This was what they needed. Time to be afraid together. " Lorna." She whimpered a little bit as she spoke. She had never seen Nicky so emotional before.
" I love you with all of me," She looks down in vulnerability for a moment, "and I want to protect you, and be with you, and love you, and hold you- because you are the most beautiful, incredible, crazy woman in the world. I am so fucking lucky I got to meet you." She grabs Lorna's hand and pulls back from her a few inches. " I don't know what you're gonna do. Or what's going to happen. And I know that you have a husband who loves you and I know you care about him, but.. I love you a million times more than he ever could, Lorna. Everything about you is amazing. The way you smile that beautiful smile at everyone you pass in the morning after you wake up. The way you're so mildly racist in a fun loving way in totally inappropriate situations. The way you believe and see the good in everyone. Every piece of you is beautiful." She brushes her fingers through the brunettes silky hair. " I won't stand in the way of love if that's what you believe you and Vinnie have, but I know I can make you happy." A tear runs down her face.
Nicky rolls over onto her back for a moment and stares at the dark ceiling. For a moment it's dead silent and still all around them, until Lorna gently climbs on top of Nicky, caressing her soft hair and the side of her face before leaning in closer and closer to Nicky until her lips met the redhead's.
Lorna has always believed in true love. It's a part of who she is. Watching west side story, ooing and ahhing at romantic love stories. It's what she does. And as her lips meet Nicky's soft mouth she feels like she understands more about love than she ever has before. This is the first time she's ever kissed Nicky in a purely romantic way and to different than anything she's ever experienced. Nicky's lips taste like her and the kiss feels incredible and right. Laying on top of Nicky here, in a dark scary place, in a warm bed, in the dark, Lorna finally felt like she was in true love. She could finally piece together the pieces of her future. Raising a baby with Nicky. Sleeping together in a warm soft bed every night, going to a gay bar together with Big Boo and laughing with each other as she picked up clueless girls. Being there for each other. That sounded perfect.
They rolled over and snuggled together enjoying the sound of each other's heartbeats and allowing themselves to be vulnerable for a while.
"Nick?," she meets my gaze. " How could I choose anyone but my true love?" Lorna asked before capturing the other girls once again. She pulls away and wipes a tear from Nicky's cheek gently before they slowly drift off to sleep. Together.