AN: Special fangz to XXXbloodyrists666XXX for writing the original version of this. Many lulz were had. THX.

BTW this story takes place around 2006, when the original fanfic was made.

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My name is Rachel Lee.

Knowing the nature of the world I live in, you probably want to know how I look. Okay, so I have short black hair with red and purple streaks that reaches my lower neck. I'm a half-blood that goes to Hogwarts. There, I'm a sixth-year student (I'm 16.) I'm a goth, and I wear mostly black stuff. I enjoy shopping at Ipso Facto and buy a lot of what I wear from that place.

At this moment I'm wearing a black Type O Negative tee, a black leather miniskirt, black & white striped thigh socks, and black combat boots. Also, I have on black eyeliner and black lipstick.

Now that that's out of the way, I'm walking around the Hogwarts campus. It was snowing. Anyway, I'm just minding my own business, when some girl who looks like me with longer, straighter hair, is dressed a lot like me but with a corset and pink fishnets on instead of a t-shirt and black thigh socks, waves her hand at me.

"Hey," I say, politely waving back. The girl approaches me. It's all fine and dandy until she opens her mouth:

"Hi mai nam iz Enoby Darkness Dementia Raven Way an Im a goffik vampire. I like slitting my ristz an lisening 2 GC an MCR."

I give her a shocked, bemused look. "Urrrm...kay?" I respond, "My name's Rachel. Rachel Lee. I'm a goth too. But those bands you mentioned...they're not exactly goth, sorry to say."

"OMFG SHUT DA FUK UP U FUKIN POSER!" she screams, "I BET UR AN AVRIL LAVEEN FANGURL, U FUCN PREP!"

"Okay, HOW am I a poser?" I Asked, "the green circle with a green minus sign in it on my shirt? that's the logo for Type O Negative. They're a goth-metal band."

"WHO DA FUK R TYP O NAGATIV?" she yelled, "I BET DEY SUND LIK AVRL LAVINE!"

"Sorry, I have to go," I tell her, feeling like I couldn't reason with her. I Walk away, leaving her standing there, clueless. "HAY! CUM BAK POSER!," she screams. She then flips me off. I ignore her.

"Hey Rachel," said a voice. I looked around. It was Roger Davies, a fellow Ravenclaw and a 7th-Year.

"Sup?," I asked. "I'm impressed," said Roger, "I've never seen anyone stand up to Enoby before. You deserve a medal."